No Open Diary

LivingHealthyLovingLife

Excuse me while I vent.........

Why is it that people make positive comments under people who refuse to open up their diary?
They say things like great job logging today, how do they know????

For me, MFP is all about accountability and if you have to hide your diary, you're not allowing yourself to be held accountable.
We all mess up from time to time and we are all trying to retrain our minds but come on folks, be accountable for your actions.

I can not and WILL NOT be supportive of somebody who is hiding something from me.

You can finish your diary under goal for the day while eating fried chicken, pizza and cotton candy but if I can't see that, how can I help you by making suggestions of healthier options.

Friends don't lock the door on their true friends and those who lock the door on me will eventually see my name disappear from their friends list.

That may seem harsh but I'm here to be supportive. I have far too many friends who will let me to waste my time on someone who's unwilling to open up.

Ok I'm done, let the firestorm begin. Be gentle (LOL)

ambitious01

Well I make choices that some don't agree with. My sugar may be over or whatever. So, although my diary is open to the public I don't post anything about it. when I see someone else has completed it I make it a point not to judge. I don't so much mind advice because I don't know as much as I could. GRRRR I know what you mean though.

radial

Well, I guess you could say the same thing about people who restrict the view of their diary to friends-only vs. making it available to everyone. If accountability is what it's all about, then why not open up your diary for public access? Personally, I kind of like the variety of options. People have different ideas about boundaries, and that's okay with me.

BeautyAndTheGeeks

Some people don't want people giving them suggestions and advice when they haven't asked for it. My diary is open and my friends are very supportive, but when someone starts giving me unwanted advice and criticism, I don't appreciate it. I'm well aware of what I'm doing and I'm quite happy with it, if I want advice, I ask for it. I don't want someone messaging me because they've seen a bit of fudge in my diary and they don't think it should be there etc. I just deleted a guy the other day because he was blasting me for not drinking any water. Um, actually, all I drink is water and I've never had a problem with that, therefore I feel no need to track it because I know I'm taking in more than enough.

hollyberry2012

Well, you know how you go through stages on MFP? Like when you first start you are thinking....WHAT CALORIES am I supposed to eat now? I'm confusedddd!!!

And then you go through that stage where you start to get used to eating a certain number of calories a day, but then you add exercise and you are too exhausted to eat...so your cals slip down a few days, and then your tummy catches up with you and you add some....

Then you think...terrified...WHAT if I'm doing it wrong? What IF I GAIN...oh dear...

Remember all that?

Public accountability isn't necessarily the first stage for some people....I still try to encourage them to open up their diaries so I can add them as friends...but I do it by explaining what generally happens when they don't.....they get in a certain stage of their own and people can't help them out of it and invariably it leads to frustration on all parts!!!

jessicawrites

For me, MFP is all about accountability and if you have to hide your diary, you're not allowing yourself to be held accountable.
We all mess up from time to time and we are all trying to retrain our minds but come on folks, be accountable for your actions.

If I log privately and hold myself accountable (I use MFP because it's more convenient than a notebook for me), then I don't see why inviting strangers to hold me accountable adds anything extra.

I can not and WILL NOT be supportive of somebody who is hiding something from me.

This is unrealistic, unless you are also asking friends to fully disclose the whens, wheres, with whoms, and the underlying psychological or physiological agenda behind every bite they take. People have private lives, and I think asking for ultimate disclosure is invasive and impossible.

Friends don't lock the door on their true friends and those who lock the door on me will eventually see my name disappear from their friends list.

Again--friends don't lock the door on true friends when it comes to significant issues that impact the relationship. My friends are perfectly welcome--in fact, encouraged--to lock the door to the bathroom when I'm around. There are elements in anyone's life that are private. I have my diary open to my friends, but having a friend demand to see my stats could be reason for my name to disappear from his or her list. Community support is great, but unsolicited coaching I can live without.

lizziebeth1028

This subject has been discussed a lot before and for addition insight on the pro's and con's of this you can use the search function.

For me personally - I am an adult and I'm accountable to myself. What I choose to eat is my business.

Also there are many people on here that suffer from ED, celiac disease, food allergies, diabetes and have restricted diets. They prefer to keep their diaries private to avoid unsolicited advice from people not knowing their medical background.

It's a personal choice - I feel there is no right or wrong. If you are comfortable with it open then go for it. But please respect other people's decision to keep theirs private.

radial

Public accountability isn't necessarily the first stage for some people....

That's a really good point. People not only have different ideas about boundaries, but sometimes those ideas evolve over time. It's good to have a variety of options so people can be comfortable at whatever stage of their journey.

jaxbeck

I refuse to comment on a closed diary, same with if someone with a closed diary asks a question about their "diet" I will not even acknowledge it. You can't help or support if you can't see it!

lizziebeth1028

"Friends don't lock the door on their true friends and those who lock the door on me will eventually see my name disappear from their friends list. "

Lol - don't get me wrong because I LOVE MY MFP peeps. But this is the internet buddy. 99.9% of us are strangers. The chances of most of us ever meeting people on our friends list in person is slim. 'True Friends' is quite the expectation.

jallen1955

I refuse to comment on a closed diary, same with if someone with a closed diary asks a question about their "diet" I will not even acknowledge it. You can't help or support if you can't see it!

Exactly.

My diary is closed because I do not want or need help with my nutrition. If that changes, I will open it.

Chrissieneave

I think its up to what the individual wants to do! If they don't want their diary Public, then so be it! They still get the same support from me.. Maybe they dont need anyone else to keep them accountable to what they are eating each day!

momof2winsplus

Newbies don't know that the default for their account is a closed diary. They have to intentionally go and change the settings to open it. So until someone tells them, they may not know.

macpatti

You can finish your diary under goal for the day while eating fried chicken, pizza and cotton candy but if I can't see that, how can I help you by making suggestions of healthier options.

Maybe they don't want your suggestions of healthier options. The fact that someone logged their food, regardless if you can see it or not, should be supported. There's nothing wrong with saying, "Good for logging" to support an online friend. Logging is better than not logging.

FoodieGal09

I don't have mine open to anyone, I'm accountable for myself. If I feel like I need some input, as in I'm struggling and can't see where I'm going wrong- then I will give someone the password and they can help me out.
Even if my diary was public, who's to say what I'd be putting in it was absolutely truthful. To be honest, if my diary was public, I think I would be more likely to skim over the "bad" things I'd eaten that day. In the end, the only person I'm cheating is myself and I just don't understand what that has to do with anyone else on here. Maybe you and I will never be friends, but I do have friends on here who encourage me for my exercise, for logging in and for being within my calories. That is enough for me.

jennifer52484

I am old enough and strong enough to hold myself accountable for the choices I make. I also don't like unsolicited advice. Everyone has their way of doing things, if it works well for them, more power to them.

Rhea30

Excuse me while I vent.........

Why is it that people make positive comments under people who refuse to open up their diary?
They say things like great job logging today, how do they know????

For me, MFP is all about accountability and if you have to hide your diary, you're not allowing yourself to be held accountable.
We all mess up from time to time and we are all trying to retrain our minds but come on folks, be accountable for your actions.

I can not and WILL NOT be supportive of somebody who is hiding something from me.

You can finish your diary under goal for the day while eating fried chicken, pizza and cotton candy but if I can't see that, how can I help you by making suggestions of healthier options.

Friends don't lock the door on their true friends and those who lock the door on me will eventually see my name disappear from their friends list.

That may seem harsh but I'm here to be supportive. I have far too many friends who will let me to waste my time on someone who's unwilling to open up.

Ok I'm done, let the firestorm begin. Be gentle (LOL)

Some people it just doesn't benefit them to open up their diary since dieting is personal and you can congratulate a person for logging because you still have an idea if they logged or not since their status comes up when they finish their entries for a day, that part is never hidden.

There are other ways to be supportive without having to see a person's diary, like if they hit a NSV, you can always congratulate them or listen to their struggles if they share, the open diary isn't the ends of all means when it comes to support.

I can agree it can make it easier so you can see what the person is doing so then if they run into an issue you can give advice and get to know the person better on what their personal goals might be by seeing what they are eating but it doesn't cut you off from supporting them, that's a decision you make.

Krizzle4Rizzle

Plus everyone's body works differently. I ate a slice of pizza this week, some breadsticks, and cupcakes and I STILL lost 3.7 pounds. So what works for you might not work for someone else. I don't give my imput on food until it is asked of me.

tzeoli86

Even if my diary was public, who's to say what I'd be putting in it was absolutely truthful. To be honest, if my diary was public, I think I would be more likely to skim over the "bad" things I'd eaten that day. In the end, the only person I'm cheating is myself and I just don't understand what that has to do with anyone else on here.

Very good point!

NNAhuja

Preach!

luv_lea

You can finish your diary under goal for the day while eating fried chicken, pizza and cotton candy but if I can't see that, how can I help you by making suggestions of healthier options.

Maybe they don't want your suggestions of healthier options. The fact that someone logged their food, regardless if you can see it or not, should be supported. There's nothing wrong with saying, "Good for logging" to support an online friend. Logging is better than not logging.

I agree with this completely.