To the mums out there - how do you manage

fluffysexyme

Well, I have decided that I am done making excuses. If it were anyting else I wanted I would figure out a way to ft it in like some people save the hour to watch their favorite tv show. For me, I get up earlier. Yesterday was a 5:45a.m. workout so I could fit in work, church and the 3 state drive to see family that I do almost every Sunday. I didn't get home until 11 last night but I felt great that I had taken the time to take care of me even I that meant I had an extra cup of coffee. You shouldn't feel guilty if you can't do 5 days, but you won't know until you try. Sit down, make a schedule, and follow it for 2 weeks. If you're burned out or overwhelmed then modify it. Plus, no one said you have to do 5 consecutive days and they have to be work days. You have 2 days off that should be excuse free so all your really trying to do is fit in 3 days. It's all in how you look at it!

jennkain97

A one hour workout is only 4% of your day. You just have to find the time.. Move things around or save it for another day. Before I found a gym with a daycare, I was waking up at 4:30am to get to the gym at 5am.. On days when I can't make it during the day, I go at night. There's always time for a workout.. People that say there isn't are just making excuses, in my opinion.

Who was looking after your children at 4am? I know they were probably asleep but some one had to be with them. This lady may be a single parent

She's obviously not a single parent, as she said she feels guilty about running out when her husband gets home from work

MB_Positif

My life is totally different now since I am not working, but when I was I also had an hour commute each way to work so I was always gone a minimum of 10 hours every day. No matter how hard I tried I could not manage to get out of bed any earlier than I already was which was between 5:45 and 6. I decided there was nothing wrong with taking an hour to exercise in the evening when all that did was give my husband and son some one on one time together which is just as important as family time together.

As far as the tidy house goes, well, when I was working it was just less than perfect so I could fit in exercise. You find ways to figure it out. I used to do things like clean just the bathroom sink while I was getting ready for work. Then do the toilet when I got home. The shower later that night.

Anyhow, I think your trainer is being a bit hard on you. I lost most of my weight while I was working full time and only exercising 2 to 3 days per week.

jwaitman

It can be done. You just have to decide what is important to you. If all the reasons you have listed are more important that is your choice. I decided for myself that I am going to make time for myself to go to the gym, If I can't get my exercise it makes me very grumpy and nobody wants that. You need to make time for yourself.

There are 3 other able bodied people in my house that can help with the rest and if they can't help maybe it just won't get done. Maybe it is time to recruit your family to start helping instead of doing everything for them. Will make your life much easier and teach them responsibility.

lorim77

Getting up at 4 AM to exercise sounds like my personal version of Hell! I don't work, but I do have a 4 yo and can sympathise with finding time to exercise. What works for me is setting a time every day to exercise, and giving my daughter notice "Mommy is going to exercise now. If you need something, tell me now- otherwise you have to wait until I'm done." I pop in a DVD. I exercise. Done.
Going to the gym is not an option for me. An hour at the gym is more like an hour and a half with travel time, plus arranging child care, plus I would feel really self conscious sweating and grunting in front of a bunch of people! LOL

I get it about wanting to keep the house neat. Why can't your kids do the dinner dishes and pick up around the house while you exercise?

LotsOtots5

I workout at home. I have 5 kids, deployed husband and there are no gyms within 100 miles that offer childcare (small town, yay). I do a lot of activities with the kids, biking, swimming, hiking... and also do home workout videos like Jillian Michaels.

Yesterday I helped my 4 yr old learn to ride her bike. Let me tell you, bending half way over and running up and down the street 60 times is definitely a workout!!

rachaela06

Going to the gym may not be the ideal situation for you. I would love to have a gym membership, but as our lives are so complicated right now, it's not in the cards. I work full time and have an hour commute to work and another hour home, my DH works out of state and is gone all week. My two kids have activities and homework, that I am in charge of every evening. I am OCD about the cleanliness of my home. Throw in a couple of pets, sick family members, and preparing to move, that is the equation for not taking care of myself and not working out. I make the time to do it, everyday, sometimes twice, at home. I get up early, workout, shower, and start wrangling my children for the morning shuffle. After they are in bed, time for round 2. I have so much energy that everything else gets done. Perhaps you could explain to your situation to your PT, and go to the gym once a week and workout at home the rest of the time.

Never feel guilty about taking time to care for yourself. You can't take care of your family if you are not well. It takes time to adjust to a new schedule, but eventually it all falls into place. Good luck and don't give up.

jennkain97

You CAN do it! Like others have said, there's lots of things (especially cardio) you could do at home so that you're not away as often. Then, a couple of days a week, you could go to the gym to check in with the PT, and to do some weight training. If your boys are well behaved, you could bring them with you and have them do their homework while you work out. If not, make dinner and clean the house until your husband gets home, and then go. Why should you feel guilty about taking care of yourself? If your husband is like most, I'm sure he has things he does on his own on a regular basis, and I GUARANTEE he doesn't feel the least bit guilty about it! Plus, by taking care of yourself, you can better take care of your family. If you truly want to get in shape, you can make it work. But, I would look for a PT who will support and motivate you rather than belittling you.

cramernh

I get it about wanting to keep the house neat. Why can't your kids do the dinner dishes and pick up around the house while you exercise?

Or her husband pitching in.....with the boys....

LeenaRuns

I have a 2-year old, work full-time, go to school part-time, am a trustee at an art museum with bi-weekly meetings, and am training for a half marathon. I always said I didn't have time either--you have to make the time. I wake up at 4:00 am every day (5:00 on weekends) to work out.

LilynEdensmom

The easiest solution for me was to just work out at home, but make sure I do. I put in time to work out, even if it is just 10 minutes burst 3-5 times a day, I can manage that better than having to find a sitter trying to rearrange my work schedule, the oldest after school activities, leaving my youngest with said sitter... Once they both are in school I plan on trying to join up with a gym but for now I work out when I can at home.

vim_n_vigor

Well, simple answer? You have to schedule it just like the 2 trips to the grocery store and trip to the butchers and changing the sheets. You may need to rearrange some things to do it. He is right though. You are the only one that can make the choice to be able to do it 5 times a week.

desperate45

hats off to you

joybedford

I don,t have time to go to the gym, my gym membership went largely unused because i didn,t have the time. I have 3 children 2 of them with special needs and I need to fit in my workout around them. This is mainly when they are at school in between the housework etc. I run because it is a great calorie burner and over with quickly for the amount of burn. If i use weights or kettlbells I either do this when the kids are at school or in bed. My oldest is 16 and used to finding me a panting sweaty mess he doesn,t bat an eyelid. I fit it in when i can the other children on our street think i am mad because they often come into the house when i am in the middle of a workout. Exercise is important to me but as you say other stuff needs to be done too.On top of this i work regular nights. I agree your PT hasn,t got a clue and doubt he would find the time also. Don,t listen and do waht you can. Add me as a friend if you want to then we can motivate each other.

badgerbadger1

Why can't the kids do their own homework and help with chores? Why isn't the husband cleaning and making trips to the grocery store?

pixelberry

I'm a mom to twin 4-year-old boys. I make the time to workout, 45 minutes to an hour a day, 6 days per week (unless I'm sick). My husband watches them if I don't have the time in the day because he knows I'm improving myself. I don't go to a gym, I have a home gym. If I didn't have that, I'd be doing my free-weights and/or resistance band exercises in the living room. You have to want to do it and find or make the time.

kdiamond

I'm another one that has basically your exact same schedule...and sports practices mostly 3 times a week or more, and I find time to get to the gym 5-6 days a week. I usually go right after I drop the kids off at school early (7:15) and I'm home by 8:10, take a quick shower and head to my daily activities, whether it be work, etc.. I get it over with early before thinking about getting too busy to talk myself out of it. If you really want it, you'll figure it out. When I was working full time I was getting up at 5am to work out - but I worked out at home back then.

diddyh

I didn't have time to read through the enite thread but here's what worked for me. I can not go to the gym. I am a working wife and mom with a volunteer job on top of it. The gym is a minimum of 1 hour and 45 minutes to 2 hours for me with the drive. What does work for me is I get my butt out of bed at 4:30 a.m. and workout at home. I have a treadmill and strength training equipment. It works like a charm. I mix up some things in the afternoon once in a while like a walk outside or a bikeride. I don't have a trainer. I am reaching my goals. I would love to have a trainer and go to the gym everyday but the reality is I can't and still meet my other responsibilities. There is a yway, you just have to find your way. Good luck!

kjust577

I find my best exercise strategy when I'm busy is to either incoorporate my kids into my workout or use my daily chores as a means of exercise.

I take the kids on hikes, beach walks, trips to the playground and outside for frisbee and "volley ball" competions. They are able to get up and moving and so am I, the bonus can be that they are a little more tired allowing me to get more done in the house. I also set my daughter up with her homework in whatever room I am spending time cooking, folding laundry in, etc.

Both of my kids love to cook so if I am making two meals (one for me) it can help having the extra set of hands. I find that they try more new foods and more of "my healthier meals" when they help prepare them. Which means I only need to cook one meal. My kids have also been assigned more chores lately to lighten my housework load. It may be a small contribution but every bit helps.

Talk to your pt about home workouts you can log. And try excelerated workouts where you are working harder for shorter lengths of time. If I can't make it to the gym for an hour (plus the 20 minutes of driving) I pop in a Jillian Michaels 30 minute circuit training workout, I'll sweat as much as I would after a 30 minute run on the treadmill.

gamehen2

Your PT likely gets more $$ the more sessions you have with him, yes? Take his advice with a big giant grain of salt. Do you need to work out 5 times a day? Yes. Do you have to do it with him or at the gym? Absolutely not!

Also, I'm not sure of your relationship with your husband, but it sounds like you need to let him take care of some things. I'm sure he wants you healthy and happy. Sit down with him and figure out what he can take care of consistently that will reduce some of the load on you.

papergirl22

I didn't read all the responses, but something came to mind. You are paying a trainer. He/she is providing a service to you. YOU are in charge. It is their job, since they are the expert, to provide you with a workout plan that fits into your lifestyle, not try to make you fit into their ideal. If the trainer is trying to make you do something you don't feel you can do, it is being responsible consumer to let them know that. And it's their job to give you what you can do. If this trainer can't operate that way, find one who will. They are out there.

If you say "I can only get to the gym for 1 hour 3x/week" then you should get a workout plan that utilizes that one hour 3x week to the best degree. I go to the gym to lift weights and do 15 minutes of HIIT. The other days, I squeeze in 30-45 minutes of cardio either running/walking/biking, whatever from home. It works because it's flexible.

As far as home management issues...IMO, you have to let or make your husband and children take over some things, and try to let go of the mental 'have tos' that we as women, wives, mothers impose on ourselves and focus on yourself a little. NOT letting go is why most of us have let ourselves go and get to where we are now...break the cycle. I couldn't do what I'm doing without the post it notes with reminders to feed the poor dogs and finish cooking half prepared dinners, etc that we deal with day to day.

Your children are old enough to do a lot for themselves, and it's good for them to do so. My daughter is 11. She does her own laundry and has for nearly a year. She dresses herself and has gotten her own breakfast each morning for several years. If I had to, I could go to the gym while my husband is still home in the morning and she could get herself on the bus. I don't like to do that, but if there was no other way, I would.

What I have found since I'm focusing more on myself and looking better and feeling better, I find less need to control and make perfect all the other little things in my life that I used to THINK were so important. In figuring that out, I am able to spend a little more time at the gym if I feel like it. I really believe that my need to have the house perfect and be everything to everyone for so long was because I could control those things where I was so out of control of myself...

Good luck. ;-)

BAMFMeredith

I do it. I typically hit the gym about 6 days a week. I don't know how I make it happen, I just do.

I work 8-5, Monday through Friday. So I get my son to school, go to work, pick him up and give him a snack in the car, head to the gym (childcare at my gym is amazing, they take the kids that are old enough to climb on the rock wall or do kids yoga--he really enjoys it). Then we head home and eat dinner by usually around 8:30. Then we read a little, work on some phonics stuff for school (he's only 5, but we're really working on reading and writing), then bath time and he's in bed by 10. That's probably kind of late for a 5 year old, but it works for us.

I've figured out lots of ways to make meals really quickly and healthily. I make a large batch of chicken breast tenders (boneless, skinless, grilled or baked) and have them ready to heat up in the microwave. I also get those steamfresh bags of veggies so I can just pop em in the microwave for a few minutes and there's dinner. I make large batches of rice as well, and have salad/spinach ready to go in the fridge at the beginning of the week. Maybe on Wednesday or so I'll have to cook another batch of food, but I keep meals basically ready to go so it takes maybe 10 minutes to get a healthy dinner on the table.

My son is a big helper. He picks up after himself, he helps me with the dishes/laundry, and we just get it done in the time we've got. In the past it's been really easy for me to say "Well, I don't have time to work out, so I just won't." But I realized that was a cop-out because I CAN make it work. It's not easy, and during the week it's like I'm going non-stop until my head hits the pillow, but it's worth it. My mom did the same thing when I was a kid (and somehow went to grad school AND taught aerobics classes at the same time...I don't know how she did it all), and she still helped me with my homework and made it to every dance recital/choir concert/etc.

Maybe if physically going to the gym is not possible as often as he is saying, you could do workouts from home a couple times a week once the kids are in bed, or before they get up in the mornings? And like a previous poster said, really try to maximize the time you do have in the gym. Make the best out of that hour or 30 minutes or however long you've got there. Have your kids help out at home (I think this is why it worked so well when I was a kid, my sister and I did a lot of household chores since both my parents worked full time; it's how we earned our allowance money), and try the batch cooking idea so you've got healthy meals ready to go. Remember, you only have ONE body and you've gotta make your health a priority. Not just for you, but for your family as well. Healthy, active mom= happy mom! Your kids will learn from your example

galegetsthin

duct tape

MeeshKB

I agree with the others who are saying that your PT is overstepping here. He should be helping you design a program that fits with your life, not criticizing you for you "lack of motivation". If it were me, I'd can him.

I also agree that when life is as busy as it is with kids, often working out at home is the best solution. That's the solution I've employed. I am fortunate enough to have a treadmill, so that's a big help, but there also lots of workouts online, and DVDs etc, that you can get. And walks outside are a great way to get moving.

I think basically anything is technically possible to work into your schedule. It just depends on what you are willing to trade for it. I could probably get to the gym several times a week, but I would have to sacrifice time to prepare for the next day, time with my family or sleep (which I am already deficient on). I'm not willing to trade those things. So I have decided to workout at home, and just fit activity into my life where I can. And any PT (or anyone else) who told me that that meant I wasn't committed enough, or that I was making excuses, would not be giving me any advice much longer.

nishsuz

Hi all. Wow I am overwhelmed by ur responses. Thank u all soooo much. I feel so much better and more positive that I can think about Me first. Im going to print this thread out and read it properly. You've all given me so many tips. Im going to speak to my PT and my husband and sort something out.

Thank u all again. :flowerforyou:

bampitt

I'm coming a little late to this discussion but I know how it is.

I'm 47, work full time, have a 3 year old at home. It takes dedication to exercise to make it work. It also takes a lot of organization. It also takes help from husband, children, etc.

I get up at 4 am to work out because it's the only time of day I can do it. Everyone else is asleep and I can forcus on myself without interruption. I don't go to a gym. It takes too much time to drive there, change, workout, change, drive back, etc. I workout at home with Tony Horton and the gang. After my morning workout, while the family is still asleep, I can make lunches in peace and quiet while I cool down and stop sweating. Then its shower, get dressed, makeup and hair. Then, I turn on all the lights and get everyone else up. This way, I'm taken care of first.

I've organized my life to make it more manageable (did I spell that right??). I save the grocery shopping for one day/week, usually a weekend morning when the store is empty. If I need something, I run to the store during my lunch break. Otherwise, I'm walking at lunch. I do a load of laundry each day. This makes it a smaller, more manageable job without a bunch of fuss. The kids can help with this.

Do jumping jacks while your kids are doing there homework. They need your help but when they don't, knock off a couple of jumping jacks. Or do some planks, push ups, squats. It all adds up and it's a great way to keep your energy up.

chicfreak9

You are doing disservice to your family by not taking care of yourself. Your boys sound old enough to have chores that can help out and if doing the gym thing is really to much of a time crunch do family exercise like football (American and/or European version) walking bike riding anything you know they will do with and for you. It will take some trial and error to find the right fitness fit for you and the family but always remember a happy mommy equals happy family

wookiemouse

I agree with those who recommended working out at home. My kids have been raised while I exercise - they know that that 1 hour a day is sacred and they can have me for the remaining 23! Exercise when they do homework - if they're stumped, Dad has a brain, right? Or they can wait patiently until you're done. I've found my oldest solves a LOT more of his homework on his own if I'm not available, BTW!

janey1306

A one hour workout is only 4% of your day. You just have to find the time.. Move things around or save it for another day. Before I found a gym with a daycare, I was waking up at 4:30am to get to the gym at 5am.. On days when I can't make it during the day, I go at night. There's always time for a workout.. People that say there isn't are just making excuses, in my opinion.

Who was looking after your children at 4am? I know they were probably asleep but some one had to be with them. This lady may be a single parent

My husband. He's military and has PT early in the morning, so I would go and get back before he left.

I really wasnt suggesting you left them alone, and hope it didnt come across that way, i was presuming your husband or partner was there and was pointing out that some people just arent in that position.

sleepytexan

The first thing to do is stop ironing. There is really no reason at all to iron. I stopped years ago and I have never felt better.

After you quit that mess, you will have a lot more time. Either get up early and go to the gym and be back before your husband leaves for work, go during lunch (if possible), or go in the evening and put the kids in childwatch.

It can be done. I have 4 kids and I have been working out daily since the 3rd was 7 mos. old.

There were 2 years I used to go to spin at 530 am twice a week (granted I did not like getting up that early, but I needed to get home before my husband left for work. Oftentimes I would go in the evening after dinner and the kids were in bed.

I am currently able to pretty much go whenever the kids don't have activities, bc I have a 14-yr-old now who can babysit, or I can take the 4-year-old to childwatch.

Once you start making yourself go, it won't take long before it becomes your favorite thing.