How to dress for dinner...

BAMFMeredith

This past weekend my boyfriend took me out to one of my favorite sushi places. This particular restaurant is relatively upscale, we made reservations, and you can easily spend over $100 on dinner for 2, especially if you order any cocktails. Now, Austin is a really laid back, casual place. You can wear jeans pretty much anywhere. But generally at nicer restaurants (there is a big group of nice places downtown) people dress up more. My bf had on a nice collared shirt, nice jeans, and dress shoes. I was dressed up as well, heels, makeup, my hair done, etc.

We were seated and I couldn't help but notice a handful of people who I felt like were SO under-dressed for a restaurant like that. The guy at the table next to ours was wearing a t-shirt and a baseball cap. I noticed one other guy wearing a cap as well. I'm not super old fashioned or anything, but I just thought it was really bad manners that these guys were wearing hats during dinner at this nice restaurant...is that weird? If it had been Chili's or somewhere like that, no big deal, but this was a pretty nice place. Of course, it didn't affect my meal, and has no affect on my life, but it was just something I noticed.

I felt like the few people who were dressed really casually, hats, t-shirts, seemed REALLY out of place in there. What do you guys think? No big deal? Or are people getting lazy these days when it comes to getting dressed to go out? Bad table manners to wear a hat during dinner?

mrmanmeat

This past weekend my boyfriend took me out to one of my favorite sushi places. This particular restaurant is relatively upscale, we made reservations, and you can easily spend over $100 on dinner for 2, especially if you order any cocktails. Now, Austin is a really laid back, casual place. You can wear jeans pretty much anywhere. But generally at nicer restaurants (there is a big group of nice places downtown) people dress up more. My bf had on a nice collared shirt, nice jeans, and dress shoes. I was dressed up as well, heels, makeup, my hair done, etc.

We were seated and I couldn't help but notice a handful of people who I felt like were SO under-dressed for a restaurant like that. The guy at the table next to ours was wearing a t-shirt and a baseball cap. I noticed one other guy wearing a cap as well. I'm not super old fashioned or anything, but I just thought it was really bad manners that these guys were wearing hats during dinner at this nice restaurant...is that weird? If it had been Chili's or somewhere like that, no big deal, but this was a pretty nice place. Of course, it didn't affect my meal, and has no affect on my life, but it was just something I noticed.

I felt like the few people who were dressed really casually, hats, t-shirts, seemed REALLY out of place in there. What do you guys think? No big deal? Or are people getting lazy these days when it comes to getting dressed to go out? Bad table manners to wear a hat during dinner?

I don't wear a hat to dinner, regardless of the place. Fast food, fancy, normal, ever. I was taught it's respectful to remove your hat when eating.

I always prefer to be over dressed. Better to look nice than to make an impression on someone and have them talk about it later (like you're doing, not that that's bad).

BAMFMeredith

I don't wear a hat to dinner, regardless of the place. Fast food, fancy, normal, ever. I was taught it's respectful to remove your hat when eating.

I always prefer to be over dressed. Better to look nice than to make an impression on someone and have them talk about it later (like you're doing, not that that's bad).

So agree, I'd totally rather be over dressed than under dressed. And I thought the hat thing was just like, one of those things everybody knows!

Sarahbara76

^^^ agree with this guys, hats come off at the dinner table out of respect. I agree 100 % you Mer!

budhandy

I understand your point of view, and my wife would agree with you but honestly I just dont care. If its a really high end place sure I would dress up but if its a regular resturant then im going to wear my hat, shirt, and pants.

njmp

People are definitely getting lazy. I love dressing up to go out for dinner, and it might be because of that that I notice when other people are under dressed. I asked an ex to change going out to a steakhouse once...I was wearing a smoking hot dress and he came down wearing cargo pants (with rips and frays) and layered t shirts. Ridiculous.
Of course, if they are not with me, it doesn't affect me, but like you, I notice

BeautyAndTheGeeks

I always dress up for dinner. Always.

As for hats, I really couldn't give a hoot what someone has on their head during dinner, however I don't actually know anyone that even wears hats, so I can't say whether it would really bother me or not.

Maude_Lewbowski

I love that you brought this up! Up north it's rare to see a man with out a baseball cap on at all times. Even if it's the Four Seasons. It doesn't ruin my life of course but, it'd be nice if they could take their hat off for something other than the star spangled banner at any given Boston sporting event.

Sidenote, I also love the nicer weather because the shaggy hair and scraggly Bruins beards that most guys up here seem to think is all the rage get shaved and trimmed and the men actually look great all cleaned up. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I like it better like that.

It's almost a double standard, woman are expected to look nice while men think looking unkempt is a badge of honor.

jadedone

Where I live, it is casual all the time. So I am just more excited to see people actually dressed for dinner. Dressing up is "out."

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Hats are never appropriate dinner wear. Aside from that, unless the restaurant has a dress code I don't really care what other people are wearing.

Swissmiss

^^^ agree with this guys, hats come off at the dinner table out of respect. I agree 100 % you Mer!
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Agree. And, what is really bothering me at this time is that I can now look good dressed up but I have found that there are not any restaurants where anyone dresses up.

Maude_Lewbowski

People are definitely getting lazy. I love dressing up to go out for dinner, and it might be because of that that I notice when other people are under dressed. I asked an ex to change going out to a steakhouse once...I was wearing a smoking hot dress and he came down wearing cargo pants (with rips and frays) and layered t shirts. Ridiculous.
Of course, if they are not with me, it doesn't affect me, but like you, I notice

^have had the same thing happen to me. The same ex would also put a sport coat on AND wear his RedSox cap and I'm in heels and a dress. LOL, not the only reason but one of them as to why we're not together. Lack of respect thing.

lporter229

Hats are never appropriate dinner wear. Aside from that, unless the restaurant has a dress code I don't really care what other people are wearing.

Agree.

billsica

I only like to wear tiny sombreros to dinner.

mtkautz

I don't care what table you're at, you take off your hat. Whether it's in your home or at a 5star restaurant.... there is no place for a hat at a table. Now... I'm from Montana.... there are plenty of laid-back places... I mean, 'dressing up' for most of the residents of this state constitutes a flannel shirt, clean jeans, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat and "nice" means they serve your beer in a glass rather than the bottle :laugh: and quite frankly I like it that way.

I can relate though, my boyfriend is rather casual.... so I have to tell him what to wear if we are going somewhere upscale... Other than that if he looked good and you thought he looked good then what does anyone else's opinion matter? As long as the guys aren't walking into the upscale restaurant looking like they just got off the horse.... then I really don't care... as long as they are respectful enough to take their hats off before they sit at the table

Although, in some places I do believe people are just downright lazy.... or don't know HOW to dress (why I dress my boyfriend if we are going somewhere really nice) And some people just don't give a *kitten* what they look like. I usually try not to pay attention to those people though! Just enjoy your meal and time with your significant other I guess.... because there isn't a damn thing you can do about other people unfortunately!

BAMFMeredith

I only like to wear tiny sombreros to dinner.

Well those are always acceptable, obviously.

minime2b

Yes it is bad manners and yes people are getting lazy about dressing for dinner. My husband and I happened to see a similar situation ithis weekend. I love to take a chance every once in a while to dress up and I always lean toward being slightly overdressed than under.

roachhaley

ugh, my dad wears shorts with holes in them, sandals that have been chewed by the dog and shirts that are ripped EVERYWHERE. he wears shorts in the winter too. there's just no helping him

i dont care what you wear to eat, but take your hat off.

kaellinn18

If the restaurant really cares about that sort of thing, they will have a policy and not allow people in who are under-dressed. If they don't care, then you really shouldn't either. Personally, I'll wear a hat and shorts in a place like Chili's, but I dress nicer and wouldn't wear a hat to somewhere more upscale like Ruth's Chris or Morton's.

mes1119

I've noticed this too. I mean I will sometimes go out to eat at a family type restaurant and look a little sloppy because I just got off work (I'm a coach and lifeguard) but when I am going to a nice place for dinner, I dress up.

I've seen people in dirty old shirts, basketball shorts, hats, dirty sneakers. Some people have ZERO pride. But whatever, it is their decision, so I don't sweat it. I just have an issue with poor hygiene in a restaurant. It's difficult to eat when someone around you stinks or has dirt all over them.

Laces_0ut

$100 for 2 people really isnt that much(you could spend that at a national chain like Fridays if you have a few drinks). so for me i wouldnt put too much thought into what i wore to a place like that nor would i care what others were wearing. id probably wear t shirt, shorts and flip flops.

if i was on a date or it was at a nice restaurant i would certainly think about my attire.

monipie

i think it is rude to wear a hat indoors, especially while eating. i am old fashioned though.

doorki

I wear a suit everyday to work so I am all about the casual on weekends. That being said, if the wife and I are going out some place nice, I will dress appropriately.

as for the baseball hat at the table, I don't like to because it gets in the way when I slurp off the plate.

lizzybethclaire

I completely agree. Even if I am going to some crappy chain restaurant I make sure I am wearing decent jeans and a nice top. I definitely dress up for a fancy place.

bluefox9er

a hat to dinner is just simple and plain bad manners, be it in high end place or a dive diner. The restaurant doesn't perceive it's self to be high end, as I am sure they would ask or request politely that they remove them. A tiny bit of culture is just too much hard work for some folks, it seems.

tashjs21

Oh Man, I used to be a hostess at a fine dining restaurant in a casino. We had a dress code for men and women. Men could not wear hats and men and women weren't allowed to wear flip flops or jeans. You would be surprised how many people would come in looking horrible! And this was a nice place, no entree on the menu was less than $25.

What really burned me up is the people that would raise all kinds of noise and our manager would allow it in, then the next person would come up and we'd try to turn them away for dress code reasons, they'd look in and see the other person and we'd have to let them in.

It always shocks me how people dress at nice establishments.

Bentley2718

Of course, it didn't affect my meal, and has no affect on my life...

You hit the nail on the head right here. It had no impact on you, so why do you care? Personally, when I go to a nice restaurant I dress appropriately, but that is my choice. If the restaurant cared that much, they'd have a dress code. I'd also note that in the past, no one would consider jeans to be "nice" under any circumstances. Even places like skating rinks and arcades commonly disallowed jeans at one point--just something to think about before one makes statements about how people are getting lazy, rude, etc.. Things change, if it doesn't impact you (or if in the case of your bf, you like the way it impacts you), I don't see why it matters.

mrmanmeat

I understand your point of view, and my wife would agree with you but honestly I just dont care. If its a really high end place sure I would dress up but if its a regular resturant then im going to wear my hat, shirt, and pants.

You should care for your wife's sake, especially if she agree's with our points.

BAMFMeredith

$100 for 2 people really isnt that much(you could spend that at a national chain like Fridays if you have a few drinks). so for me i wouldnt put too much thought into what i wore to a place like that nor would i care what others were wearing. id probably wear t shirt, shorts and flip flops.

if i was on a date or it was at a nice restaurant i would certainly think about my attire.

$100 before drinks. Of course, there are plenty of other more expensive places, but this place was more upscale than a Fridays or Chili's...

also ETA that in Austin, if you have to make a reservation, it's considered an upscale restaurant (like I said in the original post, it's a REALLY casual city, I think I'm the only person I know that can't wear jeans to work on a daily basis). Oh and nowhere here has a formal dress code except for a couple nightclubs. Seriously, I think somebody could technically walk into Eddie V's (extremely nice steakhouse) wearing a t shirt and hat and nobody would tell them they couldn't wear that. I probably wouldn't have even noticed the t-shirts and shorts if it hadn't been for the guys wearing hats at dinner, that was more my question.

But jeez guys, it was just something I noticed, and I wondered if I was the only person who thought it was bad table manners to wear a hat during dinner.

bethgames

ugh, my dad wears shorts with holes in them, sandals that have been chewed by the dog and shirts that are ripped EVERYWHERE. he wears shorts in the winter too. there's just no helping him

i dont care what you wear to eat, but take your hat off.

LOL - You sound like our daughter. She holds out no hope for her father either. :laugh:

mrmanmeat

Hats are never appropriate dinner wear. Aside from that, unless the restaurant has a dress code I don't really care what other people are wearing.

My friend was going to propose to his wife, and he wanted to take her to a nice place for dinner afterwards to celebrate. We went to a place called Chophouse 47 so he could look at the menu.. We just walked into where the host table is, no intentions of eating, didn't ask for a table.. I was asked to step outside because I had a plain white tshirt and a hat on lol.