Would you have said something...

suzikay12

Here is the situation. This past weekend I was out boating with a group of friends. We are not always the tamest or most modest group on the water, we come with a definite R rating. Another friend, who goes out with us sometimes brought his new girlfriend and her 12 year old son with him. The boat owner made it clear that our boat would not be child friendly this weekend and said they should find another boat. At this point, I would like to say, we DO have child friendly boating excursions. This just happened to be the first weekend out and the adults wanted to drink and party. We all have children of our own and would never want them to see us acting like idiots.

So, the friend and his girlfriend did find another boat to board with the kid. I know the people on the other boat, they are friends too but they are more R rated than we are. I personally wouldn't have taken my child out with them. But, it wasn't my child and therefore, not my place to make the call.

Our boats go our separate ways. Later in the afternoon, both boats end up on the same sand bar. The people from the other boat are totally out of control drunk. The friends girlfriend included. She is flashing her boobs and all kinds of stuff. Needless to say I was 100% disgusted and appalled that this was going on with her 12 year old there. (If no kid was present, then I could care less)

I didn't say anything to her but it is now two days later and I'm still thinking about it. I wish I would have said or done something. I have a feeling this is probably going to happen more often this summer unless my friend wises up and dumps this chic so I am wondering what you guys would have done, if anything.

vaderandbill

Here is the situation. This past weekend I was out boating with a group of friends. We are not always the tamest or most modest group on the water, we come with a definite R rating. Another friend, who goes out with us sometimes brought his new girlfriend and her 12 year old son with him. The boat owner made it clear that our boat would not be child friendly this weekend and said they should find another boat. At this point, I would like to say, we DO have child friendly boating excursions. This just happened to be the first weekend out and the adults wanted to drink and party. We all have children of our own and would never want them to see us acting like idiots.

So, the friend and his girlfriend did find another boat to board with the kid. I know the people on the other boat, they are friends too but they are more R rated than we are. I personally wouldn't have taken my child out with them. But, it wasn't my child and therefore, not my place to make the call.

Our boats go our separate ways. Later in the afternoon, both boats end up on the same sand bar. The people from the other boat are totally out of control drunk. The friends girlfriend included. She is flashing her boobs and all kinds of stuff. Needless to say I was 100% disgusted and appalled that this was going on with her 12 year old there. (If no kid was present, then I could care less)

I didn't say anything to her but it is now two days later and I'm still thinking about it. I wish I would have said or done something. I have a feeling this is probably going to happen more often this summer unless my friend wises up and dumps this chic so I am wondering what you guys would have done, if anything.

Here in Mass, someone could call Social Services on something like that! I would say something to your friend.

mrmanmeat

Here is the situation. This past weekend I was out boating with a group of friends. We are not always the tamest or most modest group on the water, we come with a definite R rating. Another friend, who goes out with us sometimes brought his new girlfriend and her 12 year old son with him. The boat owner made it clear that our boat would not be child friendly this weekend and said they should find another boat. At this point, I would like to say, we DO have child friendly boating excursions. This just happened to be the first weekend out and the adults wanted to drink and party. We all have children of our own and would never want them to see us acting like idiots.

So, the friend and his girlfriend did find another boat to board with the kid. I know the people on the other boat, they are friends too but they are more R rated than we are. I personally wouldn't have taken my child out with them. But, it wasn't my child and therefore, not my place to make the call.

Our boats go our separate ways. Later in the afternoon, both boats end up on the same sand bar. The people from the other boat are totally out of control drunk. The friends girlfriend included. She is flashing her boobs and all kinds of stuff. Needless to say I was 100% disgusted and appalled that this was going on with her 12 year old there. (If no kid was present, then I could care less)

I didn't say anything to her but it is now two days later and I'm still thinking about it. I wish I would have said or done something. I have a feeling this is probably going to happen more often this summer unless my friend wises up and dumps this chic so I am wondering what you guys would have done, if anything.

Tough call.

_the_feniks_

I would have told her that unless she was going to breast feed him... to put them away.

WhitneyAnnabelle

That is a tough call. No kid should be put into that circumstance, especially when their mother is being that irresponsible. Honestly, I would bring it up to the friend and just ask if it happens a lot. You know, as casually as possible. I'm not really sure what even that could do, though. I'd say if it happens again, then I would do something. I wonder if someone did end up saying anything...

Music_is_my_soul

I personally love my boobs and when am drunk usually tend to bring them out... with that being sad... I am not dumb. When there are children present it is ABSOLUTELY NOT HAPPENING AT ALL! That is not right! I would have said something to my friend if it were me. But then again, I don't ever keep my mouth shut. I say whats on my mind 99% of the time! Good Luck!

suzikay12

That is a tough call. No kid should be put into that circumstance, especially when their mother is being that irresponsible. Honestly, I would bring it up to the friend and just ask if it happens a lot. You know, as casually as possible. I'm not really sure what even that could do, though. I'd say if it happens again, then I would do something. I wonder if someone did end up saying anything...

I wish I knew if someone else said something. I would like to be of the "it's not my problem" persuasion but obviously it is still weighing heavily on my mind. :frown:

snw_

that kid's future girlfriends are going to be awesome.

Grimmerick

I might bring it up lightly almost like a concern for how embarrassed she must be, " OMG ______ you must have been so embarrassed after you sobered up and remembered you showed your boobs in front of your 12 year old. I know we all do stupid things when we are drunk but I hope your 12yo doesn't tell everyone, you know how kids are these days."

JPod279

All I know is I am glad you don't boat around where I do. You people appear to be the kind that eventually run into a family and kill someone because everyone is drunk and think that because it is a boat and not a car it is ok.

AmandaLAcosta

yes you should have.

suzikay12

All I know is I am glad you don't boat around where I do. You people appear to be the kind that eventually run into a family and kill someone because everyone is drunk and think that because it is a boat and not a car it is ok.

We have a 100% sober driver but thanks for your judgement anyway.:flowerforyou:

Akijade

Not your kid, not your problem. Butt out.

TexanThom

All I know is I am glad you don't boat around where I do. You people appear to be the kind that eventually run into a family and kill someone because everyone is drunk and think that because it is a boat and not a car it is ok.

I agree with this...

jsapninz

Hmmmm. Was the kid a boy or girl?

If a boy, she's training him right. If its a girl, she raising her right

^ You disgust me. :mad:

Anyhow, I think since you don't know the woman that well, it is not your call to say anything to her about it. Hopefully she feels sufficiently disgusted at her behavior already and it will not happen again. If you were her close friend perhaps you would have some sway with her and could have told her to cool it. Next time, just make sure if she comes the kid is NOT around or don't go.

As for doing anything other than saying something to her, I don't think you can report her to any authorities or anything.

Let it pass, there is nothing you could have done, short of telling her bf to take them all home (if he were capable). :frown: And be thankful that you were raised right and you are doing the same for your own little ones.

Darlingir

that makes me sad.......

Paxtonite

No good would have come from saying something while you were all drinking. Like you said, bring it up with your friend in a roundabout way. Ask him to leave the kid at home for future adult-only weekends.

pastryari

My dad's side of the family and friends are just like that. R rated, hard partying out camping and boating, drinking, naked people, & boob flashing. I was around it starting at a young age. I think I turned out alright.

WickedGarden

I learned a long time ago, to "never tell another woman how to raise her child" not from personal experience, just from personal observations.

If you are that truly concerned, maybe talk to your friend about his girlfriend, are they serious? Maybe the kid is used to that 'environment' (sad but true). Get a feeling about her demeanor about child rearing from him, you could say, "I'm just concerned because he may have gotten hurt and she wouldn't be coherent enough to react appropriately"

I was in a situation where some friends had gotten really drunk and their child was a rambunctious 2 year old pulling dishes onto the floor, and getting into mommy's purse. I didn't say anything to the kid, (not my kid) but 'mommy' did get angry when all of her lotion and lipstick was smeared all over the inside of her purse.

Regardless, they knew the situation was not going to be 'kid friendly' and still chose to participate. IMHO-She probably didn't care what her child was exposed to.

debloves2ride

I think I would have said something to the friend that brought the partying girlfriend. As his guest he is responsible for what happens with/to her. she was totally wrong to have her child there and to be behaving like that. I'm not a prude, but there is a time and place for everything and that wasn't the right place or time.

BigDaddyBRC

Hmmmm. Was the kid a boy or girl?

If a boy, she's training him right. If its a girl, she raising her right

^ You disgust me. :mad:

I'm glad my post got to someone. Honestly, it matters not what anyone but the OP thinks. And the fact that it is in the past, means nothing now.

Edit: And I have 2 kids of which I am smart enough to understand how I want to raise them and what I subject them to.

ElizabethRoad

I think the question to ask is what you want to accomplish. If you speak to her, it would probably just offend her and she wouldn't listen. You could speak to your friend; he might have a little more influence on her, or be able to leave the kid at home next time.

But really - it's not your kid and it didn't happen on your boat. It's just a stranger doing things you don't approve of.

joakool

What your friend's friend did is inexcusable. That's probably how she got pregnant in the first place! Any RESPONSIBLE mother would leave their child with a sitter and plan on having "adult" time OR bring their child with and not consume alcohol to the point that they are displaying poor judgement. My kids are teenagers and I could probably count on one hand how many times they've seen me drink alcohol. However, I might want to leave my kids at home and join you on your next boat trip! LOL.

_HeathBar_

I wouldn't have said anything, but I definitely would have written something about it on an internet forum later.

mrsnathanandrew

All I know is I am glad you don't boat around where I do. You people appear to be the kind that eventually run into a family and kill someone because everyone is drunk and think that because it is a boat and not a car it is ok.

We have a 100% sober driver but thanks for your judgement anyway.:flowerforyou:

lol ^^ haha

I love how some people are being so judgemental. Anywho, I don't drink, but if I did drink socially or whatnot, I for sure wouldn't get drunk if I had a child with me. That's a little out of control. I would say something, but say it casually and not judgementally

slendercurves

Script:
"Remember when we went boating and [your girlfriend] was kinda out of control. Have you two talked about that?

It's still bothering me, because I don't think most kids want to see their mom's boobs. He could have been really embarassed. She seemed like a really fun person, and I think maybe she got carried away and forgot he was there. Does she normally get drunk with him around?

Well, I'm sure she loves her kid, and we should definitley invite the two of them back when we're doing something kid-friendly. I just don't want to see her son put in that situation again."

UsedToBeHusky

It's not your business.

lizziebeth1028

What's done is done. Going forward I would STRONGLY suggest to your friend that they don't bring his girlfriend's 12 year on a booze cruise again, it's child endangerment and they put everyone at fault on that boat if something bad were to happen.

slendercurves

That's my script for an after-the-fact conversation.

If I had been around when it happened, I probably would've said, "Yo, there's a kid here! Not really appropriate." Then I would've stood my ground or removed the child to another area, if possible.

Then again, I'm a former social worker...

BAMFMeredith

All I know is I am glad you don't boat around where I do. You people appear to be the kind that eventually run into a family and kill someone because everyone is drunk and think that because it is a boat and not a car it is ok.

We have a 100% sober driver but thanks for your judgement anyway.:flowerforyou:

Dude seriously, my friends and I can get kinda crazy out on the water, but our driver is ALWAYS 100% sober. We might be party animals sometimes, but we're not stupid.

Anyway, it's a REALLY tough call because his guardian, his mother, was wasted. That's a safety concern. If I had my son with me out on the water, I'd stay sober, and I wouldn't bring him on a boat that I knew was going to be that kind of party. That's for grown up only time. I might ask the friend if they made it home ok, or if the boy had fun, that way it would seem like you were more just making conversation, and then let the conversation go from there, maybe ask how he felt about her son being there or ask how they're getting along. People get super touchy when their parenting skills are questioned, even when it's a completely valid concern.

That said, I can't imagine anyone thinking it's actually acceptable to behave that way in front of their non-adult children (or adult children for that matter...God help me if my mom ever flashes anyone in my presence).

luv_lea

It's not your child, and not your business.