Booty Perfume

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  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    I don't use booty perfume... it messes with my womanly PH balance.
  • obeserat
    obeserat Posts: 218 Member
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    Sometimes you don't know if you're going to let rip until its too late . Quite embarrassing when you think you're on you're own and seriously let rip then someone walks out the stall next door at the same time as you
  • LilRedRooster
    LilRedRooster Posts: 1,421 Member
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    So, you’d rather sit and linger in that awful smell instead? :noway:

    Well, everyone loves their own brand, don't they?
  • brentrhodes
    brentrhodes Posts: 139
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    I don't use booty perfume... it messes with my womanly PH balance.

    Mmmm. That's kinda Hot
  • brentrhodes
    brentrhodes Posts: 139
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    So, you’d rather sit and linger in that awful smell instead? :noway:

    Well, everyone loves their own brand, don't they?

    HAHA! FatBastard
  • lastchance2010
    lastchance2010 Posts: 500 Member
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    ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!!! (did I get that right?) LOL:bigsmile:
  • phillieschic
    phillieschic Posts: 615
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    There's a woman who comes to my building just to use the bathroom...and leaves her nasty *kitten* streaks all over the toilet.

    Why, oh, why can't she look down before she leaves and flush twice?!?!?!?!?!?!

    I installed a Glade Plug-In to combat the stench. :sick:
  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
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    http://poopourri.com/

    It works.

    I got some of that for my son. I don't care for the smell. We much prefer some Scentsy spray on the back of the tank.

    I know it's an office, but maybe you could set some dollar store room spray on the side of the sink?
  • brentrhodes
    brentrhodes Posts: 139
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    There's a woman who comes to my building just to use the bathroom...and leaves her nasty *kitten* streaks all over the toilet.


    Next time you see her say "good luck!" When she says "excuse me?!" Tell her, "you always leave skid marks all over the bathroom, I just assume you're racing someone!" lol!
  • FrostyFour
    FrostyFour Posts: 262
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    I have never used a bathroom for the sole purpose of farting. That is just stupid.

    Hold it or fart.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    I am laughing so hard right now at "booty perfume" and "booty confetti." Bless this thread.
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
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    May I present to you.....a guide.


    "We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

    ESCAPEE
    Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

    JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE)
    Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

    COURTESY FLUSH
    Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

    WALK OF SHAME
    Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

    OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
    Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

    THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
    Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

    SAFE HAVENS
    Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

    TURD BURGLAR
    Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

    CAMO-COUGH
    Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

    ASTAIRE
    Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

    WATERMELON
    Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

    HAVANA OMELET
    Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

    UNCLE TED
    Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

    FLY BY
    Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom."
  • Emancipated_Tai
    Emancipated_Tai Posts: 756 Member
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    uggh..Brings back nasty memories of when I went into a grocery store's bathroom and all the stalls were full. So i waited until someone came out, which was an old lady and she had the craziest look on her face. Walked in there and almost died. She had a pile of crap sitting on a pile of toilet paper in the toilet. :noway:

    :laugh: :laugh: .
    OMG!! I would have made a big scene like "LADY!!! YOU LEFT YOUR CRAP IN THE TOILET!!!"
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    Oh, I've got a public restroom story that will make your blood curdle....well, that might be a SLIGHT exaggeration, but it might make you gag a little. I won't share it, though, unless someone reeeeeaaaallly wants me to. :huh:
  • TheMerryPup
    TheMerryPup Posts: 186 Member
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    I thought that this thread was going to be about a new product called "Gee Your *kitten* Smells Terrific!"
  • embersfallen
    embersfallen Posts: 534 Member
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    The thing that grosses me out the most is Booty Confetti left in the toilet or on the seat. Apparently there's a dude in my gym that has some serious problems right before I get to the locker room. It looks like a paintball match went down in there.

    Indeed.... I work in a medical facility... which means... many doctors... nurses...etc...and I know patients also sometimes use the private loos... but... 90% of the time... it is other employees. So gross!
  • Tristis
    Tristis Posts: 288 Member
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    We have something similar at my work - only we have two private restrooms for females and two private restrooms for males. When I use the stalls, I'm so baffled why there are little leftovers from the flush. Hah. I would NEVER poo in the stalls. Also, if they are brave enough to poo in the stalls, why not double flush so others don't have to see their nuggets? Hah.
  • phillieschic
    phillieschic Posts: 615
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    There's a woman who comes to my building just to use the bathroom...and leaves her nasty *kitten* streaks all over the toilet.


    Next time you see her say "good luck!" When she says "excuse me?!" Tell her, "you always leave skid marks all over the bathroom, I just assume you're racing someone!" lol!

    My co-worker once passed the girl on her way into the bathroom and said, "Gotta go?"

    She left the most streaks that day. :ohwell:
  • Emancipated_Tai
    Emancipated_Tai Posts: 756 Member
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    Oh, I've got a public restroom story that will make your blood curdle....well, that might be a SLIGHT exaggeration, but it might make you gag a little. I won't share it, though, unless someone reeeeeaaaallly wants me to. :huh:

    Yes, I'm dying to know!
  • mistylovesmusic
    mistylovesmusic Posts: 147
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    This has to be the funniest thread ever... Did anyone ever figure out if they make brown paint balls?

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