Getting hate for wanting to recover from..

lovelysummerbabe2012

My BMI used to be 16 due to starvation when I was 14. Now it's currently 18.6-18.7 and people say I'm already looking pudgy and that I don't need to gain more weight even though my body isn't functioning properly.
I feel so horrible now. People on here that are anorexic and still losing weight are telling me im disgusting and ruining all my hard work and I'm going to get fat and huge like a house
My lowest I was only 69 pounds. I still feel cold, I'm anemic, my hormones are out of whack and I act insane and not normal. ):
I'm miserable. Gaining weight is scary though.
I gain weight quite easily and am doing it all by myself. no parents help or anything ( they dont care or believe im even sick )

should I continue eating or just..go back like I want to ):
currently eating 1,200-1,300

sarar_smiles

Continue eating! It's way more important to be healthy then to be super-skinny, which isn't even attractive to anyone but other anorexics. You're getting healthier, and that's what matters. Ignore the nay-sayers -- they're not worth your time.

LadyKatieBug

I agree with the other poster as well

lovelysummerbabe2012

its just horrible though! I see people everywhere and I know I'm much smaller then them but I feel so BIG.
And like everyone is beautiful and thin and I'm not. Magazines, TV, even seeing my family..):

dietstokes

Most people I know with an eating disorder try and encourage those who are trying to recover to get better, not to get worse or even to stay the same. I say continue with your recovery. Good luck hun You seem to have made some wonderful progress so far!

jackibailey

Of course you should continue eating, but you probably need to be under a doctors care. And you need to find friends and support on here that match your goals. Just because they're anorexic too doesn't mean that they're here to help you. It sounds like they're feeding your fear of being fat instead of supporting you in your goal to get healthy. Delete them. And go to the doctor.

LiddyBit

I think you should get off this site and into a recovery center or otherwise under a professional's supervision. And I don't mean this in a snarky way. I hope you can find the help you need.

HolllyBot

Get new friends on here, block the ones that give you grieg. Strong and healthy is sooooooooo much better looking than stick thin. Please eat. The damage done to your body can start repairing itself, and you'll start feeling better. Eat.

PlanetVelma

Why are you still friends w/ folks who are still suffering from ED's?

It's like an alcoholic who's trying to quit drinking but still hangs out at the bars.

You already know what the answer is to your question is. Find new friends, continue eating at healthy levels until you're eating at maintenance. Maintain body weight not by starving but by exercising moderately.

I get the impression you don't want to live w/ an ED any longer. Time to cut those out of your life who are bringing you down and not supporting you.

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

Twilightsunflower

eat and block those who are telling you not too... your health is more important then what others say...i think they might be projecting their own body issues on you because they are jealouse of you taking control of your life and doing what they (yet) cant..your getting better..every day make the choice to live a healthy life!!

dancngdolfn

Continue eating! It's way more important to be healthy then to be super-skinny, which isn't even attractive to anyone but other anorexics. You're getting healthier, and that's what matters. Ignore the nay-sayers -- they're not worth your time.

I agree! Ignore them and get healthy that's what matters.

cmriverside

1. Yes. Eat. You aren't seeing things clearly. Google Body Dymorphia.

2. Stop talking to any friends you made in the ANA circle. Delete your profile from any ANA sites. You need healthy friends.

barbiecat

:bigsmile: you have worked hard to recover from your eating disorder....there will always be people who will try to drag you down with them....stay away from them......find friends and a group on MFP that applaud your desire to be healthy:bigsmile: don't let anyone steal your dream


:bigsmile: you can stay recovered one day at a time.

fromaquasar

Remeber the people giving you grief are in the throes of their own struggle, what they say isn't about you it is about them. Cut that toxicity off your friend list and out of your life and make friends with some of the incredible strong fit healthy supportive people on here x

christenwypy

ummmm..you know the answer. your body needs at least those 1200. that s the fuel you need to function properly and that is AT LEAST. you can probably do with more. ignore any comments from the peanut gallery. you have to be healthy. your body needs to work and so does your brain.

futuremalestripper

Well the anorexic people bashing you are being ignorant and neglecting your health and life. So that fact alone disqualifies anything that they have to say. Eat and be healthy. If you are concerned about the form that your weight takes, do some weight lifting to tone and turn those calories into healthy muscle. If the thin image is what you are after, that is attainable to realistic levels through proper nutrition and exercise while still maintaining a healthy body. Since you are trying to recover, you obviously know that just starving yourself isn't the way to go. Keep on your path and only listen to people that want you to be healthy and happy. There's a lot of people on here who have recovered from anorexia and I'm sure they would offer a lot of great advice and continued support via e-mail if you seek it out. I wish you the best.

mrf330

I commend you, lovelysummerb, and can really only echo what others here have said. Keep eating and surround yourself with true friends; those who will support you rather than try to tear you down. Be proud of yourself for the steps you're taking to a healthier, longer life.

rbene07

Ditto....

gpstrucker

I agree with those who say you should be under a doctor's care.

campi_mama

anyone on your "friends" list who is giving you negative feedback, ditch them! Get some supportive people in your sphere. My heart goes out to you. Your body will level out once you get to a healthy weight. Be the best YOU that you can be. Eat foods that will nourish you and make you feel amazing (fresh fruits, and veggies, nuts etc). I know that it's hard to understand, but these people you see in magazines are airbrushed or photoshopped or have gone to unhealthy extremes. Do you want to live this way for the rest of your life? You are the only one who can control this. You don't have to be perfect, just the best version of yourself that you can be. You can do this. Be strong! You are AMAZING...

lovelysummerbabe2012

I cannot go to the doctor. I have social anxiety anyways. Doctors scare me.
She'll put me on like 3,000 calories or something crazy and I'm far to worried ):

fdebus

As someone who has recovered from Anorexia and bulimia myself, I would also encourage you to seek the treatment of a counselor. I know from experience that you cannot fight this HORRIFIC disease on your own. It will come back to haunt you if you do not get adequate care and an understanding of what this disease is truly about. You are taking the first step in acknowledging that you need help, but the food part is only a symptom, there are so many other layers that need looked at. Take good care of yourself and please look for a support group and a one on one counselor to help support you through such a challenging time. I swear to you that my worst day in recovery was always better than any day in my disease. Best of luck to you in your journey through recovery.

CleanandLean33

Contact the eating disorders centre, read about anorexia recovery from positive health books or sites and speak to your gp and keep fuelling your body. I work in mental health and know all to well that eating disorders are terrible things which can rob years from your life both in terms of fun and confidence and also by the physical damage they cause. You are starting to realise that you are small and that it is your mind not your body that is feeling 'fat'. Understanding this will help you take the next steps to recovery. Parents often struggle to recognise food issues and are often scared to approach them; while others with eating disorders often feel scared and threatened by people seeking another healthier path. Please please please get help and continue in your recovery.I wish you all the best.x

eljulia

What's more important to you, feeling healthy or looking like a coat-rack with clothes on? i don't understand why it seems like a game to some people, this getting so thin you could pass out at any minute. My oldest daughter went through that in high school and it was pretty scary!

Mental and physical health are what matters in the long run. Being anorexic and old probably doesn't happen because that can't sustain a useful and happy life.

YOU are the smart one here!! Are you old enough to get help on your own, you know, like a therapist or anybody? There are some bad bad lies we tell ourselves about weight that interfere with our health. Like you said, you are cold, anemic, hormonally challenged, and feeling crazy. Does that sound like how you want your life to be? You won't be able to have children, if that's a desire eventually, because your hormones will stay messed up if you continue to be too thin, and you'll always feel unhappy if you feel crazy, right? Being anorexic screws with your ability to focus, to be available to anyone else besides yourself, and an anorexic person isn't even really there for their own best interests, know what i mean?

PLEASE CHOOSE to stay on the path you are currently on! As you get stronger again, you'll be able to get active and those pounds will go to the right places. You need to feed your brain and body. DUMP those anorexic as*** and stay away from them, and use that smart brain of yours to keep choosing for YOUR best!!

As i reread my message i realized that i sound like i'm mama/grandma-ing you, hope you don't mind. Now eat your peas. ;-D

madamepsychosis

Delete, block and (if at all possible) report these horrible people to MFP! You need people in your life who will support you on your journey to recovery, not make hurtful and triggering comments.

Above all else, please continue to eat and try to eat more. I really would recommend seeing a doctor too. I know that seems like the scariest thing in the world right now, but please consider it. He/she would only do what is best for your health. You clearly know you're still not well, since you've pointed out that you're still anaemic and always cold. Even though there are some amazing people on here who can offer support, their advice won't necessarily be able to top that of a medical professional.

With that being said, I'm always here if you need a friend and encouraging words. Feel free to add me

dad106

I cannot go to the doctor. I have social anxiety anyways. Doctors scare me.
She'll put me on like 3,000 calories or something crazy and I'm far to worried ):

I highly doubt the doctor will put you on 3,000 calories.. that is way to much... even for someone trying to recover like yourself.

Is there anyway that you can see a counselor? One that specializes in ED? They can help as much as a doctor could, and could also help treat the social anxiety aspect.

mzhokie

I am proud of you for doing what you have so far. Realizing you have a problem and doing something about it is a big deal.

I would keep eating, maybe add 100 extra calories but make sure what you are eating is good for you. Get your vitamins and nutrients as naturally as possible.

Is there anyone you can talk to? if you have a strong support system, you can go even further.

nabooru1017

Girl, you are perfect and there is nothing fundamentally WRONG with you.

I've had similar problems, and I know that the bouts come and go!

But you just need to take that first step in NOT CARING about that perfect body goal. It -will- come, in time. It's hard to get out of that horrible preoccupation when we're young, I know.

It just takes a bit of muscle building for that good posture and tiny portions of protein throughout the day.
You can keep the weakness away this way.

You DON'T need to give up, but just get out of that horrible cycle of feelings. It's like a meat grinder!

terraskye

Get new friends on here, block the ones that give you grieg. Strong and healthy is sooooooooo much better looking than stick thin. Please eat. The damage done to your body can start repairing itself, and you'll start feeling better. Eat.

This!!! +1 million


and a big hug too

neesie0358

Why are you still friends w/ folks who are still suffering from ED's?

It's like an alcoholic who's trying to quit drinking but still hangs out at the bars.

You already know what the answer is to your question is. Find new friends, continue eating at healthy levels until you're eating at maintenance. Maintain body weight not by starving but by exercising moderately.

I get the impression you don't want to live w/ an ED any longer. Time to cut those out of your life who are bringing you down and not supporting you.

Good luck! :flowerforyou:

Ditto!!

good2bthaking

congrats on raising the calories!! You seem to want to do what's right and I think along with increasing the calories, you should seek professional help. I don't mean that in a hurtful way because I have 2 daughters in their 20's and that's what I would tell them. I am sorry that you don't have the parental support, but there are some Great People on here to encourage you. Get rid of the negative ones and surround yourself with honest, caring people. I truly wish you the best and if you need a friend, feel free to add me. I am on here every day and will be honest with you, like it or not. BEST WISHES, Norm!!!