Goal reached, why aren't I happy..

Xtreme_Nikki0807

Hey girl,
Just wanted to send a quick shout out to ya.
I hear you and I have been struggling with that same mentality for a while.
The entire world can tell you you're beautiful / don't need to loose 10 more lbs - but it won't mean a thing till you see that.

Changing an appearance is more than a physical goal reached, it's more than a nutritional lifestyle changed, it's a mental rewire as well. You have to change the way you think ... or else you will never enjoy the fruits of your labour, your accomplishments that you desire to reap ... because you need to love yourself first - and that I know is a hard one. We all are so conditional ... oh I'll be happy when I loose 10 lbs, ok I'll be happy when I loose 30 lbs, oh no I won't be happy until I loose 100lbs...
but the trick is we're basing our perceptions of what will make us love ourselves from an image we are interpreting outside of ourselves (mostly in the media).
Try to appreciate the features of ourself, that is no one else. The more you become grateful for your eyes, your hair, your legs etc. ... not jolie's lips, alba's *kitten*, kidman's hair ..... the more you will learn to love yourself - and then you will be happy upon reaching your goals.

Be proud to be you.

Congrats on the acievement by the way.

Nikki

oregonlady

bump

i'm in the same boat. i need to read this thread and it's links but i dont have time right now.

thank you for posting!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

hiddensecant

Some days I'll look at photos or into the mirror and wonder how I will possibly look the way I think I want to look by the time I reach my goal weight. Other days I do a double-take and wonder if I really need to lose those last few pounds.

I think you should start shifting to maintenance and focus more on strength training at the gym. That should keep your trainer from thinking that you're about to retire him. And it will give your brain some time to start differentiating the old you from the new you.

april_mesk

It sounds to me like your insides (emotions, ways of thinking) haven't caught up with the outside you yet. You've obviously worked very hard to change your appearance---the hard part is, and this can come as a shock to some, changing the outside is not enough. You have to work to change your insides too.Too many people say something along the lines of, "I'll feel better about myself once I lose some weight." The truth is, if you're not feeling good about yourself now, losing weight is not going to help with those feelings. Losing weight can help with a myriad of health problems, but it can't chase our inner demons away.

I hear you saying that you still "feel" fat--- so you've lost the inside baggage, but it sounds like you need to lose the inside baggage too. This is a difficult process that many, many people who are dealing with weight loss have to go through in some form (including myself). Hang in there---find someone you trust to talk to, do some daily affirmations, and know that you're a good person that deserves to be happy. Sooner or later, you'll be thin inside and out.


Hugs!!!

april_mesk

So true... Sorry if this doesn't come out correctly with the quote the way it is supposed to (have only been posting about a week). I have been to goal before. You really do have to get your mind to think you are there. You could not have said it better! I have often thought that I have body dismorphic disorder (slight touch of it, not to the extreme). It's a hard thing to talk your brain out of thinking so critically of yourself. I think she looks wonderful and I wish I could snap my fingers and be there! One day... I will- we all will! :flowerforyou:

pickadilly2009

It's funny how this works isn't it. I often find myself laying in bed in the morning and thinking to myself, I feel really fat, I bet the scale is up today. Then I jump on the scale and all be darned if it isn't less or at least the same. I think we gradually get used to being this new shape but it still doesn't feel the way we thought it would so we keep striving for more and more weight loss. I still have a little ways to go but am definately on the last leg of my journey. I do worry that I wont be content. My family and friends are already telling me I don't need to loose anymore and I have the same answer I read earlier in this thread, 'you haven't seen me naked'. I do love myself, I do like my shape, but it just isn't right yet. I sure hope I feel it is right when I have reached my goal.

Congrats on your loss and fitness...truely you look amazing!

Johnnyswife

Poor thing! You just need time to adjust to the new you. Way to go on making it to your goal!:flowerforyou: