Did you tell anyone?

teresadutton
teresadutton Posts: 217 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I am wondering if you told anyone about your diet or new way of living/eatting?

I did not. I have only told my husband. I dont have alot of friends or people to tell but I have failed soooooooo many times in the past to lose weight I didnt want to tell anyone this time. I havent even told my best friend. She lives a few hours away so I dont see her often but we talk on the phone everyday. I havent wanted to tell her because she is overweight too and everytime we talk about losing weight it turns into a negative compatition and I didnt want that this time. It is just something I need to do (lose weight) not make it into a negative thing. I am actually very nervous about when I do tell her. I am scared she is going to get mad that I didnt tell her. But I felt like this is what I needed to do. I plan on telling her when I lose at least 30 pounds...I will be just about half way by then. Ans who knows I may end up waiting to tell her until I am about 10 pounds from goal. I worry about her sabitoge (sp?) me. I love her but that is what she tends to do.
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Replies

  • melsinct
    melsinct Posts: 3,512 Member
    I didn't tell anyone at first, not even my husband. I don't know why...I guess I was too self conscious, too worried I couldn't do it and be viewed as a failure. Anyway, after I lost 5-10 pounds, I told my husband what I was doing and he was extremely supportive. I told no one else but after dropping 15 pounds (I lost 30 total) everyone started noticing- coworkers, family, etc. and I felt like I was CONSTANTLY being asked about it. I guess that's what I get for keeping it a secret!

    If your friend turns these things into a negative competition, I would definitely keep it quiet for a while. Also, I would call her out on the negativity, but that's just me. Is it her insecurities with her own weight making her get down on you?
  • andrewsmommy13
    andrewsmommy13 Posts: 30 Member
    Girl, I feel your pain. I am the same way. Just tell her and explain your views and why you aren't parading it to the world. She is your best friend, she should understand. Stand firm in what you have to do for you and to make you happy and healthy. Good for you for having the courage to make changes.
  • andrewsmommy13
    andrewsmommy13 Posts: 30 Member
    I didn't tell my husband either for a few days. He is about 375 lbs and tends to sabotage my diets with his actions, even though he supports me verbally. It can be hard when you have a history of failure to convince yourself that this time will be different.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    I told everyone. I wanted to accountable. And I have a big mouth and tell everyone everything...LOL
  • kr1ssy23
    kr1ssy23 Posts: 270 Member
    Your doing this for you and no one else. If shes really a friend, then all she needs to do is be supportive. You shouldnt feel like you have to keep it from her or anyone else for that matter. Do you, and do it well. You can do it! Good luck!
  • tinabell153
    tinabell153 Posts: 292 Member
    I told everyone! I want people to know so they can support me and help me reach my goals. I also wanted everyone to know why I'm on my phone before I start eating a meal lol. It's because I'm calculating the calories I'm about to consume!!
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I never told anyone I was trying to lose weight, except my mom and husband. When I started lifting, I told anyone who'd listen and humor my excitement.
  • EmmaM2211
    EmmaM2211 Posts: 536 Member
    I'm one of those people who will tell anyone who will listen my entire life story! I dont even realise I'm doing it until I see that bored look in their eye and realise I've been talking about my childhood friend/parents/old co-workers/ex-boyfriends/anyone else they dont know....so yes...I've told everyone ha!

    Sometimes I wish I hadnt cos I now I wont get the comments - have you lost weight? - because I come into work every morning and announce whether or not I was down on the scales that morning!
  • poshcouture
    poshcouture Posts: 610
    I've been in the very same boat! I say I'm going to workout, eat better and then about two weeks later I've fallen completely off the wagon and under it. This time I really didn't tell anyone - besides when you do, people turn into Big Brother and begin watching everything you do or eat.

    This time around, I just started working out and staying accountable via MFP.
  • jrm04h
    jrm04h Posts: 1 Member
    I didn't tell anyone and I had just moved to a new city so I was pretty much alone, but when I started posting new facebook pictures and I went home everyone was shocked, at that point I'd lost about 50lbs.
  • dezil
    dezil Posts: 252 Member
    Hey Teresa~

    I don't think you're alone in this situation at all. I really agree w/ Andrewsmommy' "It can be hard when you have a history of failure to convince yourself that this time will be different."

    When I started my healthy lifestyle change... I was open with my husband of course, and he was probably the first to know because we started eating vegetable stir fry most days of the week! Hahah- but really, this is when I started utilizing MFP to it's full capacity, and found support and encouragement from my MFP friends.

    I would tell my MFP friends my goals- and they started out simple: get a work out in in the morning, and take the stairs at work.... MFP held me accountable. The praise and encouragement helped me feel like I was accomplishing something.

    Weightloss is a very personal journey- after all, you're the only one that can make a difference. I agree with the others, that she is your BEST friend, so she will (and it may take time) understand. I don't think you need to tell her right away. But, eventually, you'll want to share your success. It's so nice once you're making progress to share the exciting details and mile markers with loved ones.. for me it was my husband, brother, and best friend...

    But like others said.. once you start losing weight. People notice. And you'll be surprised. People will start asking so many questions, and no doubt give you compliments.

    My only advice is be honest with yourself, this is YOUR journey. When the time is right, you can tell her. Make the change in YOU, and it's a positive one... And, good luck!! :flowerforyou:
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Many people know that I am trying to lose weight. Some of them asked why I was hobbling around the day after a tough workout, others asked about the food I am eating. I have told very few how I am doing it, or what site I use. The way I look at it is, this is my place. The one place I don't have to share with my kids or my husband. The one place I can go and vent or rant about things without worry. The one place that I feel that my friends have something in common with me. Share what you want, but don't feel like you have to blast it to the world. Don't feel like you have to share this with your best friend. Eventually she will ask why you look thinner, or why you are so sore. Tell her then whatever it is you feel comfortable telling her.
  • kathyhull
    kathyhull Posts: 327 Member
    I told everyone. I wanted to accountable. And I have a big mouth and tell everyone everything...LOL

    ^This. But, back when I was doing a biggest loser challenge at work and lost the first 25 lb, I didn't tell my parents who were out of town for the winter. Part of my motivation to stick to is was to surprise them when they came home. Sadly, it took my Mom a couple of visits after they got back in town before she noticed but, in her defense, I always used to wear bagy sweats and stuff - comfortable clothes that hid the extra rolls. It wasn't until I bought some better fitting clothes that she noticed. But, everyone I worked with knew I was in the competition and that motivated me to stick to it.
  • LadyKatieBug
    LadyKatieBug Posts: 178 Member
    i usually don't unless they ask me what I am doing to lose weight and ask about my eating. I figure if they ask me personally they must really want to know. otherwise I don't say anything about it.
  • nicholettebell
    nicholettebell Posts: 414
    I did. But I don't know if I would have done it differently. I was never one to talk about my weight (before I decided to lose weight) because I didn't want to be one of those people who talked about it but didn't do anything about it. When I decided to do it, I talked about it but what I got from some was, "...okay....you can do it.....?" Haha. But it was good that I did because when I lost the first 50lbs I could not tell and no one else noticed, but I had the support. The support really got me through it. So, I guess that I am glad that I did tell people, but, like you, I didn't talk about it with people who also struggled with their own weight - who talked about it and didn't do anything about it. I felt they would bring me down. In my opinion, the beginning stages of weight loss is very hard and it would be very hard with negative people around.

    Edited to add: Now I can't shut up about it. This is something that I am really proud of and will tell anyone. If anyone asks me a question about this whole thing, I will take that opportunity to talk their ear off about it. :laugh:
  • ldg323
    ldg323 Posts: 101 Member
    I didn't tell my husband either for a few days. He is about 375 lbs and tends to sabotage my diets with his actions, even though he supports me verbally. It can be hard when you have a history of failure to convince yourself that this time will be different.

    Thank you for posting this!! I thought I was the only one with this issue!!!My husband is "verbally" supportive but not willing to make changes on his part. The only thing he really said yesterday was "so I'm supposed to sit across from you and you can't have mashed potatos?? I don't like that, I will feel bad when I'm eating them." But then in the next sentence say's "good job!". Then when he finally caved in and went walking with me the other day he says "you're going to make me walk up that big hill aren't you?" OK, to start with it wasn't a big hill and secondly stop whining!!!.

    I love him, but he can really be a jerk sometimes! Good thing he has so many better things about him!
  • SONIA820
    SONIA820 Posts: 208 Member
    I posted something on FB after I lost 19lbs because I was so excited...now I figure I won't. When I posted on FB about losing that much while it was nice to get all the congrats and so on, it kind of felt like they were all say "DANG about TIME!" so I haven't said anything since....I figure if they notice they will say something, otherwise I guess I am just taking it the way I always have...MY FAT IS INVISIBLE even if it's not there anymore!!!!!! :) LOL!
  • hatescows
    hatescows Posts: 69 Member
    I told kids and DH (he eats the same food as me- he was going to figure it out lol)
    My family is VERY supportive.

    I have learned who my friends are by who has /has not noticed.
    I am amazed a the number of people who have NOT noticed (or at least not said anything to me) 47 pounds.

    I'm not losing it for them, though, so no biggie.
  • blairh10
    blairh10 Posts: 37
    I didn't because I hate when people say "You look fine". "Great, thanks for the support guys, I mean my BMI is on the overweight side of the scale but, as long as I "look fine" who cares."
  • TonyL68
    TonyL68 Posts: 133 Member
    From day 1, I told as many people as I could. I wanted to be accountable and make sure I had that external pressure in addition to the internal motivation.

    Now I don't have to tell people because its obvious I've gotten leaner and stronger. I prefer the latter. :)
  • PinkEarthMama
    PinkEarthMama Posts: 987 Member
    I told everyone. I wanted to accountable. And I have a big mouth and tell everyone everything...LOL

    Me too.

    I found that 90% of people were great. The other 10% divided themselves between sabotage & stupid advice.
  • VCanadapt
    VCanadapt Posts: 142 Member
    I didn't tell anyone except for my husband. He does a good majority of the cooking so we discussed my new food options and he's been very accomadating and supportive. I have a friend who is competative so I wanted to keep a lid on my lifestyle change so that she's not "guilt-tripped" into losing weight because I am.

    As far as accountability goes...that's what I have MFP and my hubby for! Enough said.
  • dward2011
    dward2011 Posts: 416 Member
    I only told my husband bc our meals would be slightly different, and I would be at the gym/exercising more often. It never occurred to me to tell other people. I am adjusting my lifestyle and recovering from an injury which led to my weight gain. Everyone that knows me realizes that I am recovering and that I have gained weight, especially since they all helped me during my injury (my husband was deployed). But, I do mention this site and articles/blogs that I find useful to friends. I am happy to discuss if asked.
  • teresadutton
    teresadutton Posts: 217 Member
    Several of you hit the nail on the head!
    1. This is my thing...I dont wanta share it right now.
    2. I come here to get the positive support I need. (FYI I am addicted to MFP message boards!!!!)
    3. I dont wanta be asked 500 questions a day about what I am eatting, what am I doing
    4. This isnt about just losing weight...it is about getting right with myself in alot of ways and losing weight OF COURSE!

    I know she is going to be jelous...but I cant help that. When she is really ready to lose her weight she will do it. I just happen to be ready before she was. I also now understand this is more than just losing weight. It is about getting healthy, being honest with myself, facing some demons. No one can help me "get" all of that but me. Its a personal journey. My husband supports me and gives me positive comments but otherwise leaves me alone to do my thing ( I love that man!!!). I love the support I get here, you guys are GREAT!!! THANKS!!
  • iva001
    iva001 Posts: 162
    I only told my friends who are also on MFP..but for others I only bring it up when they are encouraging me to eat or drink more than what I should. Then they say "oh you don't look fat at all" but they don't see me in my underwear, etc. You know the deal.
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    I am not on a diet. I am just focusing on making healthier choices for life.

    I have told a few people...I have nothing to hide really. I don't really share too much information though. I have just divulged that I am running now and maybe trying to lose a few pounds for my wedding. I don't talk about it a lot to anyone but my Fiance though.
  • Fit4summer29
    Fit4summer29 Posts: 1
    I think it is a good idea to let people know you are trying to lose weight. This keeps you accountable! And yes, it might explain why you get on your phone before/after every meal when you are logging or calculating calories. Hopefully others will understand and respect your choice

    That being said, I have never made a huge annoucement or boasted about it-if people ask about it or they are trying to push food my way, its a good time to mention it.
  • Deltafliers
    Deltafliers Posts: 201 Member
    I didn't tell anyone at first, not even my husband. I don't know why...I guess I was too self conscious, too worried I couldn't do it and be viewed as a failure. Anyway, after I lost 5-10 pounds, I told my husband what I was doing and he was extremely supportive. I told no one else but after dropping 15 pounds (I lost 30 total) everyone started noticing- coworkers, family, etc. and I felt like I was CONSTANTLY being asked about it. I guess that's what I get for keeping it a secret!

    I did the same except I waited till I lost 15#. I have said to many times that I would, and didn't follow thru. I will admit tho, one of the the most helpful tools I have for me right now is an unmovable deadline. With my husband deployed, I am using his redeployment as my deadline; in the past, I continually changed my deadlines when I saw I wasn't doing anything so that I could never fail. With an unmovable timeframe, the pressure to suceed is making a difference.
  • TamAD48
    TamAD48 Posts: 387
    I have told everyone about it. In fact after talking about how much I love this site, two of my coworkers signed up for it. So we are working on our plans together, providing support and motivation to each other at work.
  • rostraqueen
    rostraqueen Posts: 22
    I told everyone! I knew it would make me feel bad eating unhealthy stuff in front of them if they knew I was on a diet and so I would do better! I was right, this is the first diet I've stuck to :)

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