A question for women, rephrased

sktllmdrhmz

I'm sorry you're having this trouble, and I wish I had an insightful response into her behavior, but I don't. I think she's a selfish brat and that you're being too nice.

Brandicaloriecountess

I read a bit in your other thread but I didn't reply, I didn't really see that it was worth my time.

First let me say not all women want to be treated like a "princess". I am a grown adult, I want to be with someone who has respect for me and I have equal respect for him. I want him to treat me well, and I do the same for him. That is what I have with my bf of almost a year. We like each other as people and love each other as well.

When I am stressed he offers to help, sometimes I say sure, can you do "fill in the blank" for me, but more often I say just be here while I pull myself together. I am my own person and he is as well. We have a life together and we have a life out side of each other, but yes you are being taken advantage of. She doesn't give you respect as a person, so why are you going out of your way to kiss her @ss?

TheFitHooker

She acts the way she does because she knows you'll keep doing what you do. She takes you for granted and you let her. When you stop doing everything, she'll either move on or she'll see what she has and stop taking you for granted.

Get a backbone means to once in awhile do for you, it's ok to be selfish once in awhile, your health and well being matters and if she cares at all for you, she will want whats best for you and evidently this is causing you stress and stress and depression is no healthy or good for your well being. Any decent woman would know this.

garita93

Dude, stop asking us. Ask her.

Her reason is "I'm just not like that, i've never done this or that for any boyfriend i've ever had"

Then she doesn't deserve to have you or any others. Sounds like a one way relationship. Does she have Daddy issues?

leopard_barbie

She expects you to do all this because you have been doing it so she's gotten used to it. You sound like a decent guy and like you love her very much, I think you should have a talk with her about how you feel because she probably doesn't realise that she is being selfish and not giving anything back. If you don't tell somebody you aren't happy they will presume you are happy and continue with the behaviour that is making you feel that way.

HauteP1nk

She sounds spoiled, and (please don't take offense) but you kind of sound like a push-over.

Women need men who will do those sweet things of course, but also have a back bone. Doing make-up? Carrying her to the bathroom? Some of these things sound like she can basically get you to do anything and everything.... She is using you!

Not just men, but women too, should not only be willing to give up control but also be able to take control, be decisive/insistent, and sticks to their guns. Don't let her make you into a push-over. You deserve to be treated with respect...so stand up for yourself and demand respect.

jacque1129

I'm in a lesbian relationship, last year my girlfriend was sort of like you, doing everything for me. I was young and immature, I took her for granted, we broke up and are back together now but i grew up, the relationship has to be 50/50 or you're going to feel let down constantly.

DixiedoesMFP

What's so special about her that you think you have to do all this to keep her?

I can't imagine treating my significant other so poorly as you are describing she treats you.

I see you are in the military, indicating that you have medical insurance. Use it. Get some counseling. Please.

Sockimobi

Perhaps she doesn't feel the same away about you? If she did love you, could she treat you like this?

I couldn't treat my fella that way. I couldn't stand to.

felice03

Okay, I think I'm going to use my one daily serious response to a thread on this one today. But I'm a dude, sorry.

Dude, you are doing too much for her, she's taking advantage and walking all over you. You doting on her every day like that has forced her to live with the expectation that she can do these things. Not that she's a selfich b*tch or anything, you just basically laid yourself out to be walked on like a door mat. Doing it every day just made her think "oh, this is how it's supposed to be". Plus, she probably doesn't go the extra mile for you because you are always going the extra mile. If you backed off she might actually have a chance to do it once in a while. You should probably back off and if she dumps you for it, that's even better for you, even though you won't think so in the moment.

ding,ding,ding!!!

My man treats me like a "princess" which I believe is a word you use. BUT he does not let me walk all over him...if I am being a brat he calls me out on it. In return, I show him all the love and appreciation he desires....physically and emotionally. thats the trade off in a healthy relationshi[p.

JennieAL

What is behind this type of behaviour. Ask me any question you like to help me get to the bottom of this. example: "is her parents around?" Why oh why does she feel the need to be treated like a princess all the time and not treat me the same way?

She is selfish. And you let her get away with it.

You aren't happy with this... you are going to have to do something to change things. You can't change her. You can only change you.

(1) Stop wiping her *kitten*
(2) You might have to leave her eventually if you want someone less selfish
(3) If you don't mind selfish, stay with her... but things may not change for you

_Elemenopee_

A backbone for YOURSELF. She walks all over you, you do everything for her. What does she have to do for herself when her slave will do it for her? You have created this monster, you need to fix it. If you want things to work out with her then you'll have to retrain her and you. She now expects you to be her Bi#$h. Don't be a douche about it but make it work. If not and she doesn't like it, bye! Good luck to the next guy who'll have to deal with her though. He's in for a Doozy.

_HeathBar_

This women sounds like a succubus, she is using you and giving you nothing in return. The sad thing is that she is probably laughing about what a sucker you are with her friends ( you know, the ones she allows you hang out with periodically).

Man up, this is seriously this is quite pathetic.

ket_the_jet

I haven't heard her side of the story, but traditional male roles are that the man pays for his date, takes care of her even if she is able to take care of herself. Please note that I mean this in the sincerest way possible: You may not be with the right type of girl for you.

If she is your "one and only" (1:3,500,000,000 odds, buddy), then maybe I'd try communicating some of what you've posted here to her. Tell her that you feel like you are being taken advantage of. Ask her to help out where you want. She must be doing something wrong if you are complaining about sex every night.

I've had 3 gfs in my life so I'm pretty sure that does not make me a tool.

This was irrelevant but hilarious.
-wtk

SweetBasil35

Yikes honey. It seems like you have a big heart and a lot to offer in a relationship, but it also sounds like you're carrying the entire relationship. Your girlfriend isn't reciprocating at all, and maybe you should ask yourself why this is good enough for you. My guess is that you haven't backed off from all of the loving things you do because you know, deep down, that your relationship won't last if you're not carrying it. A healthy relationship is give and take... one person gives when they have it to give, but it's reciprocated later by the other partner.

I also think you must know that you deserve better than this(or you wouldn't have posted)... so maybe it's time to do the tough work and let her go? There are girls out there that would NEVER take advantage of you, or take you for granted, but you have to be careful about letting them show themselves to you. Don't do too much right away... or you won't be able to weed out the "takers". Sorry honey, but your girlfriend sounds like a "taker".

Wishing you the best...

budhandy

I hope you will one day be fit for your girlfriend's vagina. :flowerforyou:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

secretlobster

Save this crap for your diary. You know, the paper one that only you can read.

SofaKingRad

Dude, stop asking us. Ask her.

Her reason is "I'm just not like that, i've never done this or that for any boyfriend i've ever had"

Annnd there is your answer!! RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. She's not like that. She flat out told you. It is not the type of person she is. You can't change her. She's not a bad person, she's just not what you want.

beachlover317

Basically, in a successful relationship, it is two mature people that want to build each other up, respect each other and always want what's best for each other. Unless you have the ingredients right, your cake will never be anything but half baked. It's like trying on shoes. Sometimes it takes several pair to find the pair that you want to wear everyday for the rest of your life.

amysj303

Dude, stop asking us. Ask her.

Her reason is "I'm just not like that, i've never done this or that for any boyfriend i've ever had"

What do you want her to do?