So over it.

GO_NadZ_xO

Just want to say thanks to those who have already messaged me to show they agree.

I'm really tired of people who come on here and post forums that seek attention. Something snapped in my head this morning and made me realise the consequences of some of these forums. The hottest guy and gal on MFP? Really?

Based on the amount of friends who have closed their accounts due to the fact that its actually making them feel worse about themselves than better, I have to say that this website has become complete bulls**t.

This is not a popularity site. If you want to post something good about someone on your friends list, go for it, but you'd better be sure to post something about everyone else on there as well.

I want to share a story with you all. It's not just any story, its the story of my former best friend:

A FLEET of motorcycles led teenage bullying victim Alex Wildman to his final place of rest yesterday amid an outpouring of community grief.
The motorcycles, including the family's beloved red Ducati, led a white hearse containing 14-year-old Alex's body after an emotional funeral lasting more than an hour.
Motorcycling was a passion of the Year 9 Kadina High School student, who took his own life last week following a series of run-ins with schoolmates.

A CORONIAL inquest into the death of 14-year-old boy Alex Wildman has detailed a cycle of bullying and abuse by fellow students at two schools, including Ingleburn High School.

The inquest found the Department of Education’s anti-bullying policies failed to prevent the suicide of the former Ingleburn High School student, after he moved to Kadina High School, near Lismore, in January 2008.

The inquest heard Alex was found dead in his home at Goonellabah, near Lismore, eight months after he left Ingleburn to live with his mother, Justine Kelly.

At Ingleburn High School, Alex was punched at the school’s handball courts, had a knife held to his stomach, was verbally taunted and was chased home from the shop on at least one occasion, the inquest found.

At Kadina, Alex was subjected to cyber-bullying via social networking site MySpace, as well as physical and verbal assaults.

Handing down his findings at Glebe Coroner’s Court on Thursday, Deputy State Coroner Malcolm MacPherson said teachers at Kadina were not told he had been bullied at Ingleburn.


Google these places. Alex moved 7 hours away and could not get rid of it. All the while he was telling me. Nadine, I'm not good enough. Nadine, she doesn't love me because he looks so much better...
He thought he wasnt good enough, because he wasnt 'hot' enough.

I know it's never going to stop and that life is always going to be a constant struggle to look better, but I'm sure I speak on behalf of a lot of people when i say, can we tone it down a bit?

shbretired

i so agree.

And I also wonder about the posts of eating but not swallowing, or why can't i lose when the diary says ate mcd's 3 times a day.

Is this for attention?

Seems like they're making fun of the whole site. Just my opinion.

GO_NadZ_xO

In my opinion, attention is what it has all come down to.

Carl01

So when you took a minority opinion on a thread which is your right but got it challenged and also called on an air of hypocrisy you start an entirely different thread screaming others are seeking attention which is all this thread really is.

In time despite what you probably have been told,you are not a special snowflake the sun rises for.

BrettPGH

I reached my goal, I'm in great shape for the first time in my life, and I'm not going to feel bad about my accomplishments because some people haven't reached theirs yet.

I'm not going to turn down my light for you or anyone else. I am proud of what I've done. If that can't be celebrated on this site than what the hell is the point?

s1lence

I do agree that there are several posts that are seeking attention. For some people these threads may be the only attention that they receive through their process. Some people just need reassurance that what they are doing is what worked for others. Its not a bad thing to receive attention for success or guidance. If it was then what would the point be of the success stories or this site? How or why would anyone go to a site that had no success in what it was trying to achieve?

Some threads are posted with good intent and then turned into something completely different. Yes this is something that people should be aware of, however there are ways in which the people that feel they are being singled out can come back from these things. Ignoring users or posts, instead of making the threads a constant thought. Also if someone is feeling that they are being assaulted via responds then it can be reported, I believe that there are rules/codes of conduct that have been placed on the site that try to minimize such situations. Also if the person that may feel the forums are such a horrible place then they don't have to use them in order to use the site. Anyone can do research on the internet and can post opinions about it, you don't have to stop just at this site for all the answers.

Criticism and narcissism is everywhere and it may not be directed at specific people but taken as if it was. With all the good this site has to offer you can't really call it bull because of the people that use it. That's like saying that all motorcycles are horrible because there are some motorcycle gangs, or that all cities are evil because there are seedy places in some.

Bullying is horrible and now it's gotten to the point where no one can get away from it if the bullies want to continue their cruel actions. I am deeply sorry for your lose and the fact that no action seemed to be taken before your friend took his life. There is no excuse or reason to treat others in such cruel poor ways.

Jules2Be

I went thru hell in high school, got called all kinds of things. Had people wait in the hall to make fun of me. spit on me.
i dont even want to go into any more detail.it was very painful.

still no one is threatening anyone here by participating in a fun thread. Maybe i DO like the positive feedback on my progress...is that so awful?

I am sorry for your loss.

Jules

Scott613

Just want to say thanks to those who have already messaged me to show they agree.

I'm really tired of people who come on here and post forums that seek attention. Something snapped in my head this morning and made me realise the consequences of some of these forums. The hottest guy and gal on MFP? Really?

Based on the amount of friends who have closed their accounts due to the fact that its actually making them feel worse about themselves than better, I have to say that this website has become complete bulls**t.

This is not a popularity site. If you want to post something good about someone on your friends list, go for it, but you'd better be sure to post something about everyone else on there as well.

I want to share a story with you all. It's not just any story, its the story of my former best friend:

A FLEET of motorcycles led teenage bullying victim Alex Wildman to his final place of rest yesterday amid an outpouring of community grief.
The motorcycles, including the family's beloved red Ducati, led a white hearse containing 14-year-old Alex's body after an emotional funeral lasting more than an hour.
Motorcycling was a passion of the Year 9 Kadina High School student, who took his own life last week following a series of run-ins with schoolmates.

A CORONIAL inquest into the death of 14-year-old boy Alex Wildman has detailed a cycle of bullying and abuse by fellow students at two schools, including Ingleburn High School.

The inquest found the Department of Education’s anti-bullying policies failed to prevent the suicide of the former Ingleburn High School student, after he moved to Kadina High School, near Lismore, in January 2008.

The inquest heard Alex was found dead in his home at Goonellabah, near Lismore, eight months after he left Ingleburn to live with his mother, Justine Kelly.

At Ingleburn High School, Alex was punched at the school’s handball courts, had a knife held to his stomach, was verbally taunted and was chased home from the shop on at least one occasion, the inquest found.

At Kadina, Alex was subjected to cyber-bullying via social networking site MySpace, as well as physical and verbal assaults.

Handing down his findings at Glebe Coroner’s Court on Thursday, Deputy State Coroner Malcolm MacPherson said teachers at Kadina were not told he had been bullied at Ingleburn.


Google these places. Alex moved 7 hours away and could not get rid of it. All the while he was telling me. Nadine, I'm not good enough. Nadine, she doesn't love me because he looks so much better...
He thought he wasnt good enough, because he wasnt 'hot' enough.

I know it's never going to stop and that life is always going to be a constant struggle to look better, but I'm sure I speak on behalf of a lot of people when i say, can we tone it down a bit?

WTG:flowerforyou:

brandon0523

his is the problem with the whole fitness industry.. this is the main reason ALOT of people dont go to commercial gyms.. i hear it all the time.. they dont look like the other people.. they cant lift as much as other people. they dont want others talking about them or making fun of them. its horrible. I do 75% of my training at peoples houses because of this reason.. they would rather pay more money than be made fun of.. not cool

GO_NadZ_xO

So when you took a minority opinion on a thread which is your right but got it challenged and also called on an air of hypocrisy you start an entirely different thread screaming others are seeking attention which is all this thread really is.

In time despite what you probably have been told,you are not a special snowflake the sun rises for.

1. You'd be surprised that it was NOT a minority. I had a heap of messages and friend requests from people who agreed with me and felt the same as I had mentioned. Those people are the people that are getting hurt by all this stuff but are too afraid to stand up for themselves. Alex didn't stand up for himself and that's why I'm trying to make a point here.
2. In no way am I seeking attention. I dont care what people think of me. I dont care about what people think of what I think. Everything I've written, is not just my thoughts. Its things I've heard from people before. This that I read on people's statuses or posts. Things that are usually followed with a ' '
3. I dont think I am any way special. I grew up knowing what it feeling like being the complete opposite of special. I'm just stretching my heart to all the people that I know are feeling put down because of this sort of stuff.

Qarol

I have chocolate. And I didn't bring enough to share with the rest of the class.

mikey1976

i'm so sorry for your lose. i've been there where he was and on this site i have been been attact for no reason. it sucks

PANZERIA

I completely agree. Not only that, but it's like people go into forums looking for a fight.

I'm cool with criticism, but when you actually attack someone? C'mon. It's like being in high school again.

Also, I'm sorry for your loss. =( It's very difficult growing up these days.

GO_NadZ_xO

I went thru hell in high school, got called all kinds of things. Had people wait in the hall to make fun of me. spit on me.
i dont even want to go into any more detail.it was very painful.

still no one is threatening anyone here by participating in a fun thread. Maybe i DO like the positive feedback on my progress...is that so awful?

I am sorry for your loss.

Jules

And what of the people that are still feeling like you once did? They come on here and read posts that make them feel even worse? Even if they dont chose to, somehow, it'll still keep popping up until their curiosity kicks in purely because they want to see what they are 'competing' with.

BrettPGH

No one was bullied. Not being named on a list of hot people is not bullying. I know bullying. It's what happened to me every day in school because I was fat. If a person feels worse about themselves because other people are attractive that's a problem with them. But it sure as hell ain't bullying.

jsapninz

Lady.

Welcome to the public's internet.


Part of being an adult is taking the good and ignoring that bad.

You are berating people for berating people. And I really don't see how an unrelated story about a highschool has to do with a hottest girl/boy thread.

Aside from being a hypocrit, you need to Get. Over. It.

GO_NadZ_xO

People dont realise that they become a part of a vicious cycle. They once felt like they weren't good enough because they were living in the shadow of the people that thought they were. Now they feel great and are casting a shadow on those who dont feel good enough.

Life inst a competition because in the end, there's is no prize.

Carl01

So when you took a minority opinion on a thread which is your right but got it challenged and also called on an air of hypocrisy you start an entirely different thread screaming others are seeking attention which is all this thread really is.

In time despite what you probably have been told,you are not a special snowflake the sun rises for.

1. You'd be surprised that it was NOT a minority. I had a heap of messages and friend requests from people who agreed with me and felt the same as I had mentioned. Those people are the people that are getting hurt by all this stuff but are too afraid to stand up for themselves. Alex didn't stand up for himself and that's why I'm trying to make a point here.
2. In no way am I seeking attention. I dont care what people think of me. I dont care about what people think of what I think. Everything I've written, is not just my thoughts. Its things I've heard from people before. This that I read on people's statuses or posts. Things that are usually followed with a ' '
3. I dont think I am any way special. I grew up knowing what it feeling like being the complete opposite of special. I'm just stretching my heart to all the people that I know are feeling put down because of this sort of stuff.

Making assertions without names or details is not going to go far with me,not to be mean but because it simply carries no valid weight in a discussion.

To be honest,trying to tie a tragedy to this silliness here is in my opinion intellectually dishonest and an attempt to guilt people into doing as you wish by equating A and B where they simply don`t.
It demeans what happened and that is just sad,no one is bullying anyone and if a persons insecurities are here are affected by seeing others happy in their achievement that is a shame and hope they can get the help they need but don`t try to passive aggressively attack others for the crime that was committed on a person not involved.

And yes,this thread was an attempt for attention,it would not have been started otherwise so be honest to yourself about it.

Contrarian

Lots of people get inspiration from seeing pictures of people who used to be heavy and now look great. Nobody is trying to hurt anyone's feelings. People who have reached their goals have every right to be proud of their hard work.

It seems to me that there are bigger issues here that support on a fitness site will never be able to fix.

I don't want anyone to feel bad, but that includes the people who want to show their success. We need to support them, too.

PANZERIA

Lady.

Welcome to the public's internet.


Part of being an adult is taking the good and ignoring that bad.

You are berating people for berating people. And I really don't see how an unrelated story about a highschool has to do with a hottest girl/boy thread.

Aside from being a hypocrit, you need to Get. Over. It.

Sooo because it's the internet, bullying is okay then?

Hypocrite much?

GO_NadZ_xO

No one was bullied. Not being named on a list of hot people is not bullying. I know bullying. It's what happened to me every day in school because I was fat. If a person feels worse about themselves because other people are attractive that's a problem with them. But it sure as hell ain't bullying.

Its not bullying, no. But it sure doesn't help with those people who are getting it everywhere else.

Fit_Canuck

While I do understand that people are proud of their accomplishments you can celebrate it for the achievement that it is without bashing people over the head with.

The is a certain respect that goes with having some humility while still being proud and some people truly are just looking for attention and I think that's what the OP has an issue with.

XxYeaIrocxX

Laces_0ut

those threads are fun. if you dont like them dont read them.

the purpose of this site is to attract as many people as possible and to sell advertising.

s1lence

I do agree with BrettPGH, if someone feels as if they are "competing" against others here it's more of a self-conscious issue that the person needs to work through. If the person is being attacked then they can report it. There was a recent stream of "Amber Alerts" where a person was attacking a woman calling her rude names and it was reported and eventually the issue was taken care of. The people on the site do take action in such things. Not all the forums are bad, and it is an adult site where you have to understand that there are others with similar and different situations that come on here. Some have bad days and vent, some just troll, it's the internet and people are free to do what they wish (within the regulations from the site itself).

GO_NadZ_xO

Lady.

Welcome to the public's internet.


Part of being an adult is taking the good and ignoring that bad.

You are berating people for berating people. And I really don't see how an unrelated story about a highschool has to do with a hottest girl/boy thread.

Aside from being a hypocrit, you need to Get. Over. It.

No, you cant ignore the bad, ignoring the bad is the whole point of posting the story. He was ignored, by his friends and by the adults. It's the people that say things like - if you dont want to read it you dont have to, no one is forcing you to be part of it - that make people feel the way Alex did. He felt excluded, because no one invited him to the dance because there was always someone better for the girls to choose. He created this image of what was perfect, based on what people praised other people for.

rjt1000

People dont realise that they become a part of a vicious cycle. They once felt like they weren't good enough because they were living in the shadow of the people that thought they were. Now they feel great and are casting a shadow on those who dont feel good enough.

Life inst a competition because in the end, there's is no prize.

life isn't a competition so why do some people feel bad because others are somehow in a different place than them? You are saying that some people feel bad because they perceive themselves as not being as good as somebody else. The ones feeling bad are the ones who are seeing life as competition.

I didn't read the hot bod threads. Couldn't care less about things like that so I didn't read. Nobody forces anybody else to read the thread. If you or somebody else is hurt they weren't listed, why did they go read the thread????

Hey, did anybody post about how hot I am? If not, can I feel offended now?

cdngirl71

I found both those threads all in good fun. People need to lighten up. No one was bullying anyone.

mamamudbug

I went thru hell in high school, got called all kinds of things. Had people wait in the hall to make fun of me. spit on me.
i dont even want to go into any more detail.it was very painful.

still no one is threatening anyone here by participating in a fun thread. Maybe i DO like the positive feedback on my progress...is that so awful?

I am sorry for your loss.

Jules

And what of the people that are still feeling like you once did? They come on here and read posts that make them feel even worse? Even if they dont chose to, somehow, it'll still keep popping up until their curiosity kicks in purely because they want to see what they are 'competing' with.

Then they need to stay to posts that are safe for them. Right now I stay off the success boards... there are some that make me want to cry and others that piss me off. Those are MY issues. There are other threads posted elsewhere that I have to gauge whether I can handle the content or not. It is not my place to police other people but to take care of my well being. I can only be responsible for me. So, while your desire to protect others is commendable, they are ultimately responsible for the links they click on.

Rae6503

So you are attaching a good natured, fun poll about the hottest guy on MFP to the suicide of a 14 year old high school boy? I think that's a bit of a stretch.

BrettPGH

No, you cant ignore the bad, ignoring the bad is the whole point of posting the story. He was ignored, by his friends and by the adults. It's the people that say things like - if you dont want to read it you dont have to, no one is forcing you to be part of it - that make people feel the way Alex did. He felt excluded, because no one invited him to the dance because there was always someone better for the girls to choose. He created this image of what was perfect, based on what people praised other people for.

Everybody raise your hands if you want to be part of a fitness website that does not encourage improving the way you look and feel.

I'm sorry for your friend. Truly. But no one is being harmed here because other people are being called attractive. That is not bullying.