So over it.

NU2U

his is the problem with the whole fitness industry.. this is the main reason ALOT of people dont go to commercial gyms.. i hear it all the time.. they dont look like the other people.. they cant lift as much as other people. they dont want others talking about them or making fun of them. its horrible. I do 75% of my training at peoples houses because of this reason.. they would rather pay more money than be made fun of.. not cool
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This is also my reason for working out at home. There are far too many youtube videos titled "Idiot at the gym".."Gym retard" etc.........I refuse to set myself up to be secretly videotaped while trying to lift a heavy weight. There are cruel people out there.

Pocket_Pixi

People really closed accounts because of superficial threads in the chit-chat fun and games sections? I feel as thought that is a little ridiculous.

I have some pretty severe body image issues, and pretty low self esteem and honestly those threads would NEVER make me deactivate. Do I care if a whole crap load of strangers thing I am the hottest girl on MFP... oh hell no... I really could care less if a whole group of strangers thought that about me in real life. .

I stay out of forums topics that I think will make me feel down - I never once clicked on the hottest guy/girl forum because today was a bad day for me and I would have projected that on people that never meant for that to happen.

I think people in general need to lighten up... projecting your issues on harmless for fun forum topics is really fricken ridiculous.

cdngirl71

So you are attaching a good natured, fun poll about the hottest guy on MFP to the suicide of a 14 year old high school boy? I think that's a bit of a stretch.

No I am not!! I meant that I personally viewed those threads as all in good fun.

impyimpyaj

I understand what you're saying, OP. I really do. And the thought even crossed my mind when I saw those threads that wow, no way I'm ever going to be in a thread like that. Because I won't. Even if I worked my butt off and did everything right, I highly doubt I'd ever be one of the hottest anything on MFP. But I just stayed away from the threads. Because they had nothing to do with me. Let people have their fun. They're not calling me ugly, they're calling each other hot. Good for them.

The thing about bullying is that it's intentional; it's directed toward one person or a group of people. Those threads weren't directed toward anyone in a negative way. They weren't threads looking for the ugliest people on MFP. They weren't threads calling out people for bad habits or ugly feet or anything like that. It was just a fun, silly thing, complimenting people. Just because one person gets complimented doesn't mean that anybody who isn't included is automatically being insulted. That's not how it works. If I tell you that I like your hair and your friend is standing right there and I don't say anything to her, that doesn't mean that I think your friend's hair is ugly. It just means, hey, I like your hair today. Period.

s1lence

"It's the people that say things like - if you dont want to read it you dont have to, no one is forcing you to be part of it - that make people feel the way Alex did."

The world is full of these people, you can't get away from them. In this case I'm one of them. I have my own issues with feeling left out but I deal with it. The world will NOT conform to individuals that run themselves down because they don't feel good enough. To become a functional adult you have to deal with these issues of self-consciousness or find a way in which to get help for them. If everyone were to go and delete or adjust what they said to make it politically correct/non-offensive as possible then the whole world would be silent. As long as there are opinions there will be someone that takes offense or feels left out or disagrees.

spade117

3. I dont think I am any way special.

I do.

WifeNMama

Some people have never received favorable attention and are now getting it in heaps on this site. If it's for their accomplishments, I think it's fitting. Who doesn't like some encouragement when they are trying to change their lives for the better.

But then there are the people who don't care what kind of attention they get, as long as they are the only "special snowflake", as someone here put it. And then there are the threads that make appeals for people to behave better toward each other that inevitably get hijacked by the same groups of people who end up berating the OP and anyone who agrees with them.

People will always disagree and there will always be the groups of bullies around who want to insult and mock others as their only form of entertainment, or their only way to vent in their otherwise disappointing/uneventful lives.

Human nature reveals its ugliest side on the internet, where accomplices are many and consequences are few.

Jules2Be

I completely agree. Not only that, but it's like people go into forums looking for a fight.

I'm cool with criticism, but when you actually attack someone? C'mon. It's like being in high school again.

Also, I'm sorry for your loss. =( It's very difficult growing up these days.

The OP did the attacking.

mamamudbug

I understand what you're saying, OP. I really do. And the thought even crossed my mind when I saw those threads that wow, no way I'm ever going to be in a thread like that. Because I won't. Even if I worked my butt off and did everything right, I highly doubt I'd ever be one of the hottest anything on MFP. But I just stayed away from the threads. Because they had nothing to do with me. Let people have their fun. They're not calling me ugly, they're calling each other hot. Good for them.

The thing about bullying is that it's intentional; it's directed toward one person or a group of people. Those threads weren't directed toward anyone in a negative way. They weren't threads looking for the ugliest people on MFP. They weren't threads calling out people for bad habits or ugly feet or anything like that. It was just a fun, silly thing, complimenting people. Just because one person gets complimented doesn't mean that anybody who isn't included is automatically being insulted. That's not how it works. If I tell you that I like your hair and your friend is standing right there and I don't say anything to her, that doesn't mean that I think your friend's hair is ugly. It just means, hey, I like your hair today. Period.

This!

Steven

Hi Folks,

I wanted to add a couple of notes to the current discussion.

I couldn't possibly agree more with about the necessity of dealing with bullies in the forums. It's absolutely our goal that the forums be a safe place for anyone to ask for help or support.

For that reason, we have a "three strikes" policy. If our moderators "strike out" a user for violating our posting guidelines three time (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines) then that user can no longer post to the forums.

However, because there are thousands of posts every hour, we do rely on other users to point our attention to posts that appear to be in violation of our guidelines. If you see a post that is rude, insulting, bullying, or in some other way violates the posting guidelines, please click the "report post" link under the post. That brings the post to the attention of the next available moderator. If they determine a guideline has been violated, they will do anything from edit the post, to issuing a warning, to issuing a strike, or even removing the whole topic. But we rely on users to be our eyes and ears, as there are only about 15 moderators helping to keep the whole site safe.

Please know we're in complete agreement about this, and we're committed to improving the general tone of the forums every day. Just let us know in specific how we can help, by using the report post tool.

Secondly, as much as I know it shows that you care about the experience on MyFitnessPal, there is a guideline that prohibits using the public forums to air grievances about the behavior of other users of the site:

6. No Intentionally Hurtful Topics

Topics which are started with the intent to belittle others, either directly named or through enough descriptive commentary to be possibly identified, are prohibited. This includes stalking a poster through the forums, posting about past events gone sour, divulging personal information, or spreading gossip or rumors. At our discretion, any post referring to the behavior or posts of other users of the site will be removed.

We're as avid as you on the question of keeping the forums supportive and encouraging. Unfortunately, public expressions of concern about this only add to the feeling that the forums are not safe. If you can do us the great favor of clicking "report post' when users are abusive, insulting, discouraging, or in any other way violate guidelines laid out here http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines you'll really be helping us to separate the wheat from the chaff.

We recognize there are users out there who take advantage of the forums to make others feel small. We give those users three or four chances to learn the guidelines, and then they are "muted." It happens every day. Help us to help you keep the forums warm and encouraging by identifying those who can't play by the rules. We'll take it from there.

Because of the issue with guideline 6 above, I do need to lock this thread from further responses.

Regards,
Steven
MyFitnessPal Staff