Bad jokes (aka jokes kids love)

HellsKells
HellsKells Posts: 671 Member
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
I've got a couple that I heard and admittedly snickered at:

"What do you get when you cross a creek and a river?" - Wet Feet

"How does Lady Gaga order her meat?" - Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw


What other awful jokes you got? It's my niece's birthday this weekend and I wanna keep her laughing :smile:
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Replies

  • juicy011
    juicy011 Posts: 200 Member
    Well you beat me to the Lady gaga jokes, but here's another......How do you wake Lady Gaga up - Poke-Her-Face :happy:
  • HellsKells
    HellsKells Posts: 671 Member
    Hahaha...I like it!
  • HellsKells
    HellsKells Posts: 671 Member
    I found a few more (and then I promise to stop posting bad jokes...haha):

    A little girl goes to see the doctor. She’s got a pea in one nostril, a grape in the other, and a string bean stuck in her ear. She says to the doctor, “I don’t feel good.”

    The doctor replies, “The problem is clear to me. You’re not eating right!”


    Q. What did the mayonnaise say when someone opened the refrigerator door?
    A. Close the door, I’m dressing!


    Q. What did the triangle say to the circle?
    A. You’re pointless.


    Q. What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
    A. You look flushed.

    Q: What did the horse say when he fell over?
    A: Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!
  • nutandbutter
    nutandbutter Posts: 447
    My 3 yr old son's favorite joke:

    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Banana.
    Banana who?
    Banana in the sky with a rainbow.


    Yeah, we're trying to teach the kids the difference between a joke and just naming random things you see.
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    When is the best time to go to the dentist?

    Tooth Hurty.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Q: How do you get an elephant into your refrigerator?
    A: Open the door and let him in.

    Q: How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge?
    A: Footprints on the butter.
  • Karleyyy
    Karleyyy Posts: 857
    Did you hear about the guy that lost his whole left side? He's all right now.
  • Karleyyy
    Karleyyy Posts: 857
    My 3 yr old son's favorite joke:

    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Banana.
    Banana who?
    Banana in the sky with a rainbow.


    Yeah, we're trying to teach the kids the difference between a joke and just naming random things you see.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • EPICSRT
    EPICSRT Posts: 222 Member
    Why is 6 afraid of 7??- Because 7 ate 9.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    What do you call a fish with no eyes?

    FSH
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

    Nacho cheese.
  • danger_kitteh
    danger_kitteh Posts: 301 Member
    Knock Knock
    Who's There?
    Owls..
    Owls Who?
    THAT'S WHAT THEY DO!
  • wbgolden
    wbgolden Posts: 2,066 Member
    When is the best time to go to the dentist?

    Tooth Hurty.
    Funny I tried this at the actual dentist office and they looked at me like I had bugs crawling out my ears!

    Q: What's brown and sticky?
    A: A stick!
  • shellebelle87
    shellebelle87 Posts: 291 Member
    What do you call a woman in the distance?




    Dot
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
    What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

    Nacho cheese.

    That one actually made me LOL
  • snw_
    snw_ Posts: 237 Member
    what did the snowman say to the other snowmen?


    does anyone else here smell carrots?
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
    what did the snowman say to the other snowmen?


    does anyone else here smell carrots?

    Ooh that reminded me of this one


    What's invisible and smells like carrots?

    Bunny farts
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
    How do you make a car top?




    'tep on the brake, 'tupid!
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
    How do you catch a unique rabbit?






    U 'neak up on it!
  • wbgolden
    wbgolden Posts: 2,066 Member
    How do you catch a unique rabbit?






    U 'neak up on it!
    How do you catch a tame rabbit?

    The tame way! U 'neak up on it!
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

    He was looking for POOH!
  • grayprae
    grayprae Posts: 109 Member
    From my four year old

    Why did the chicken cross the road ?
    To get to the other side.
    Why did the Farmer cross the road ?
    To get to the chicken.
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
    How do you catch a unique rabbit?






    U 'neak up on it!
    How do you catch a tame rabbit?

    The tame way! U 'neak up on it!

    Haha! You beat me to it!!
  • Jessicaruby
    Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
    How do you catch a unique rabbit?






    U 'neak up on it!
    How do you catch a tame rabbit?

    The tame way! U 'neak up on it!


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Q: what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
    A: ellifino

    knock knock
    whos there
    boo
    boo who
    you dont have to cry. it was just a joke
  • saralynn594
    saralynn594 Posts: 321
    all of these made me LOL

    knock knock
    whos there
    peanut
    peanut who?
    PEE NUT YOUR BEDS ON FIRE
  • alyson820
    alyson820 Posts: 448 Member
    I'm gonna tell you a joke about cats... just kitten!
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
    Knock knock!
    Who's there?
    Banana.
    Banana, who?

    Knock knock!
    Who's there?
    Banana.
    Banana, who?

    Knock knock!
    Who's there?
    Banana.
    Banana, who?

    Knock knock!
    Who's there?
    Orange.
    Orange, who?
    Orange ya glad I didn't say "banana" again?
  • hillm12345
    hillm12345 Posts: 313 Member
    how do you make a kleenex dance?

    put a little boogie in it
  • Jessicaruby
    Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
    my 6yr old daughter said to me today...

    knock knock
    whos there
    banana
    banana who
    banana split

    :laugh: :laugh: i :love: her
  • LovingLisa2012
    LovingLisa2012 Posts: 775 Member
    from my nephew (years ago)

    why did the turkey cross the road ?
    to prove he wasn't chicken

    and my husband told the kids this one

    wanna hear a dirty joke ?
    a white horse fell in the mud

    wanna hear a really dirty joke
    2 white horses fell in the mud
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