What do you tell people...

yaddayaddayadda

If someone asks me that question, I smile, and I simply state, "Because this is what I enjoy. Why did you choose to order [insert their meal here]?"

^^^
PERFECT RESPONSE!!

hmuh

"The whiter the bread, the faster you're dead." ~ My mother

animatorswearbras

Ha my friends rip the ps out of me all the time about this it's usually just friendly banter, especially when they have cake for pud and then make mmm yummy noises after I've just had a chicken salad with low fat dressing (it's usually my male friends that do this to be fair) in which I respond "yeah I know, eff off" lol.

I very much doubt it's jealousy in most cases unless you have very catty friends, perhaps sometimes guilt and yeah even sometimes concern, I think it's very easy to say they're jealous but friends being friends might just see you as looking good as you are and be like "don't be daft you don't need to lose weight have a cheesecake."

On the other hand I think I would get 10x more stick than I do if it wasn't for the fact that I'm getting married and people see this as an acceptable reason to lose 20+ pounds, if I'd just decided I wanted to lose 20 pounds for the sake of being slim I probably wouldn't be as open about my slimming to some of my friends or maybe just tell them I want to lose 10. (Not that 20 pounds is an unreasonable amount for me to lose but may seem a lot to people who don't see you as particularly "fat")

FitSlimHappy

I've experienced this a milllllllion times. Quite frankly I do think it is jealously. I have the "OMG why you having the salad for, whats the point in eating out if you ain't having something proper....blah blah" in my experience these comments have come from my friends who constantly say how they want to get fit, lose weight etc but never do anything about it. Whereas other friends who are healthier and a bit more able to resist the fattening foods are supportive about choosing the healthier things.
Don't let what they say to your head, its not about the fact you cant afford anything else (salads can be more expensive than the fattening things!!) Your just being sensible! Good things don't come easy and if you want to lose weight and make a difference its obvious you eat rubbish all the time!

dlpnrn2b

I recently went to lunch with a friend at TGIF and ended up not eating at all because the waiter refused almost everything I asked.. I wanted a certain salad made with steamed shrimp instead of crispy chicken and I asked for no dressing and some fresh avocado instead of fried crunch things in it and was told. "

Sorry , that only comes with chicken (even though I offered to pay extra) , we don't have fresh avocado and why would you not want the dressing, that is just weird"

so then I opted for a black bean burger no mayo or sauces with swiss chess and fresh onion on a wheat bun,, again "umm we don't have wheat bread"

I finally just said, I'll have my water with lemon until you get a healthier menu... arg

to end with answering your question .. I tell them that "It is my choice and I choose to be healthy, any when they are ready, they will understand"

shamr0ck

"Mind your own business" springs to mind. But i'm cranky today.

deadgirl81

My friends don't tend to say anything - they know I'm trying to lose weight, so they don't feel the need to make comments! And if anyone else asks, then it's nowt to do with them to be honest

Jenncoc86

I watch everything i eat, When people respond that way I guilt them,lol. Let them know eating well means a longer happier life for you if that is not what they what for themselves fine but they don't need to try and sway you from your healthy choices.

gpstrucker

Most of my friends are supportive, and some have even decided to eat better and lose weight too. On the rare occasions when we eat together (we are all truckers and don't get the chance often) they will often wait until I order before they do, just to see what I am getting and then order something similar.

Remember though, in a social setting people are more relaxed with each other and so feel more free to ask such questions or make such comments. Don't make too much of it. If they are really a friend and are being annoying you should just say so, that's what friends do. If they get offended they aren't really a friend anyway.

Consider also that many people may say such things out of sheer ignorance, not jealousy or being mean spirited. A great many of us, myself included, were not raised to eat healthy and simply do not know any better. Part of my own lifestyle change was simply learning about food, portion sizes, etc.

It is entirely possible that they simply don't know and perhaps are honestly curious. Just a thought.

dlpnrn2b

Most of my friends are supportive, and some have even decided to eat better and lose weight too. On the rare occasions when we eat together (we are all truckers and don't get the chance often) they will often wait until I order before they do, just to see what I am getting and then order something similar.

Remember though, in a social setting people are more relaxed with each other and so feel more free to ask such questions or make such comments. Don't make too much of it. If they are really a friend and are being annoying you should just say so, that's what friends do. If they get offended they aren't really a friend anyway.

Consider also that many people may say such things out of sheer ignorance, not jealousy or being mean spirited. A great many of us, myself included, were not raised to eat healthy and simply do not know any better. Part of my own lifestyle change was simply learning about food, portion sizes, etc.

It is entirely possible that they simply don't know and perhaps are honestly curious. Just a thought.

thanks for the alternative way of looking at it. I def was not raised to eat right.. southern fried food is no longer a part of my kitchen or body!

gpstrucker

Most of my friends are supportive, and some have even decided to eat better and lose weight too. On the rare occasions when we eat together (we are all truckers and don't get the chance often) they will often wait until I order before they do, just to see what I am getting and then order something similar.

Remember though, in a social setting people are more relaxed with each other and so feel more free to ask such questions or make such comments. Don't make too much of it. If they are really a friend and are being annoying you should just say so, that's what friends do. If they get offended they aren't really a friend anyway.

Consider also that many people may say such things out of sheer ignorance, not jealousy or being mean spirited. A great many of us, myself included, were not raised to eat healthy and simply do not know any better. Part of my own lifestyle change was simply learning about food, portion sizes, etc.

It is entirely possible that they simply don't know and perhaps are honestly curious. Just a thought.

thanks for the alternative way of looking at it. I def was not raised to eat right.. southern fried food is no longer a part of my kitchen or body!

Yeah I know what you mean, I was also raised in the South where almost everything is fried. Simply cutting out the fried foods has made a huge difference for me in many ways, not just weight.

unassembledandy

speaking as someone who used to do this to people like yourself.

i think its a combo of ignorence and guilt

because I was an overweight goon and of course it wasnt my fault.../sigh, anyone skinny why dont you get the mega triple XXXXL burger (or whatever) becuase you're skinny it wont effect you...

and the other half guilt, because that horrible feeling of, well im already fat, so cant make me any worse, please dont order the thing i SHOULD order... i want to wallow and eat away my guiltyness

when really we should have both had a salad and got on with it.

im still overweight, but hopefully no longer a goon when it comes to it.

improved my eating habits and upped my exercise, and already feel the difference just in the quality of food im eating and my food being FOOD not "food" ... if that makes sense..

stuffinmuffin

It's really tough and I came up against quite a lot of this when I was losing weight. A year on, people don't seem to bat an eyelid and have used to the fact that I have changed to a healthier lifestyle. That said I will also order what I genuinely want to eat quite a lot when eating out, but would have compensated the calories through the week accordingly.

I used to find it really hurtful and to the point that I would lie about having eaten (blah, blah) cake for breakfast etc, which was really stupid thinking back but got them off my back a bit.

However what really was the turnaround was discussing the problem with my boyfriend and my MFP pals who's main advice was "It's your body and no one has a right to comment at what you decide to eat." Also imagining the shoe on the other foot as perhaps one of your overweight friends shovels cake in her mouth saying "Oooh should you be eating that?" Would invariably go down like a lead balloon.

You'll build the strength not to give a damn over a time...it is horrible but it seems to happen to quite a lot of us over this journey. xx

momtokgo

I don't get comments, but I get the "look". Not from my family, they are 100% supportive, but from my in laws. I have been getting the look for years because of how we feed our kids (whole wheat, low sugar, not much processed) as my SIL feeds her 9 month old peanut butter cereal, she looks at me like I'm an idiot for giving my kids fruit instead.

My husbands grandma us by far the worst. She is a food pusher, and not good food. Popsicles, cookies, cinnamon buns, white buns, pop, etc.

I have to go to a family party next month, I'm dreading it. Not only am I watching what I eat, I am following a vegan diet because of my IBS. It's going to be interesting.

EDesq

When you go out to eat and they all make comments bc you are ordering a salad/veggies/something healthy? I eat very clean and watch what I eat and there are certain people in my life that when I go out with them make comments like "why are you eating a salad" "you can afford to eat a slice of bread" (yeah I know but maybe I just dont want to), "you are obsessed" (why, I chose to eat healthy?). I am not one of these people who asks for things like a plate of lettuce with no dressing, I just eat clean and watch what I eat to maintain my figure. I wish people would stop making comments just because I chose not to eat dessert sometimes or bc I actually just want to look good.

I'm not sure if its a jealousy thing with people and I am not saying that to sound egotistical either, but its getting annoying and I dont understand why people feel the need to comment on what I chose to order or eat. I don't do this to other people, so why is getting done to me? Thoughts?

Get da hayell outta here!!! Are you a 7 yr. old who skerrrred to be YOU and "Caves" to Peer pressure. When da heck did someone's family or friends decide what they eat, drink or not. Do You, Be You and Grow-Up!

Di3012

When you go out to eat and they all make comments bc you are ordering a salad/veggies/something healthy? I eat very clean and watch what I eat and there are certain people in my life that when I go out with them make comments like "why are you eating a salad" "you can afford to eat a slice of bread" (yeah I know but maybe I just dont want to) , "you are obsessed" (why, I chose to eat healthy?). I am not one of these people who asks for things like a plate of lettuce with no dressing, I just eat clean and watch what I eat to maintain my figure. I wish people would stop making comments just because I chose not to eat dessert sometimes or bc I actually just want to look good.

I'm not sure if its a jealousy thing with people and I am not saying that to sound egotistical either, but its getting annoying and I dont understand why people feel the need to comment on what I chose to order or eat. I don't do this to other people, so why is getting done to me? Thoughts?

The bits I have bolded from your quoted post, next time they come out with such comments, answer as you have done above, see what they say.

You know, when you think about it, it comes to something when a fully-grown adult cannot go out for a meal and have presumptious questions thrown at them - other people really should mind their own business IMO. I am betting you do not make similar comments to them, why they find the need to comment on how you eat beats me.

Continue eating what you wish, it is your body, not theirs x

OSC_ESD

~ Choose your company wisely ... sometimes we out grow friendships. If it truly bothers you, maybe do some activities with these particular individuals that don't involve eating.

I have found that " food consumption " is a generic term for " gossip " .... people love judging others based on what one consumes. I just don't see the relativity to their lives what I choose to eat. I actually crave a good salad or edamame ... I love my Salmon and fresh veggies just as much as the next guy loves a big juicy burger. There really is know difference ... I am not lacking substance anymore than they are gaining useless calories.

Bottom line .... to each is own. If it stresses you ... remove the " event " from your life.

Have a GREAT day and ENJOY your favorite foods today ... I know I will ! :flowerforyou:

glittersoul

Tell them to shut it & they could use a salad, too... lol

Heaven71

From a skinny girl at work. I had a couple of homemade potato chips and she says, "Oh you're finally eating some real food?"

I looked at her and said, No just taste testing this greasy junk! I threw out the 2 chips left in my hand and walked away.

OpenHeaven

I find that those comments usually come from people that can't control their own eating habits. It's their own guilt that causes them to comment. I tell them that I enjoy what I'm eating and I know it likes me back.

^^^^^^This!!!! 100%