Would you date someone if......

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Replies

  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    No. What if you marry and then have babies and get stretchmarks (or saggy boobs) or a hormone problem or something where you gain weight (even if only temporarily?)

    I do think attraction matters but to not give the TIME OF DAY prior seems kind of a-hole-ish to me. I can see being MORE attracted to someone who loves themselves enough to make healthy changes and to not let themselves totally go but not even the "time of day" I would be leery about.

    But see, I don't notice overweight men because I am not attracted to them, so basically I am not giving them the time of day. It's not intentional, I really just don't notice them.

    Once you are in a relationship, normally you are deeply in love with everything about the person, so some weight gain or stretch marks aren't an issue.
  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
    Can't handle me at my worst, don't deserve me at my best

    :smile:
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    Yeah I would. If I liked him. I don't really see anything wrong with that. He obviously wasn't attracted to you when you were overweight. I wouldn't want to be with a man who was overweight and didn't take care of his body the way I do.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    If it were obvious to me that he had changed his mind solely based on my lack of a fat ( but awesome ) *kitten*? no I wouldn't date him.
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
    actually "Date"...maybe. What happens if you gain 5 lbs, will they not want to date you again?

    HOWEVER, are you physically attracted to them? jump their bones and be done with it.

    I kid, I kid
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Happened to me and I honestly couldn't blame the person for not being attracted to me when I was bigger. So no, I didn't get upset.
  • dan95130
    dan95130 Posts: 78 Member
    Don't discount the idea that maybe this person places a high value on fitness and health. When you were fat, maybe you didn't come across as a person who shared the same values. Physical appearance is more that just sexual attraction. How we look, dress, and groom ourselves says a lot about who we are.
  • ProjectTae
    ProjectTae Posts: 434 Member
    If a person that never gave you the time of day when you were fat asked you out when you became thinner...woud you go? I don't know what I would do. It makes me mad that they judged me and wouldnt date me then, but now they have suddenly realized what a great person I am. What's your opinion?

    I personally would, (If I was unhealthily large not if I had a miniscule amount to lose), physical attraction is an important part of a relationship, it shouldn't be the only focus, but I can't honestly be upset if someone isn't physically attracted to me because of my weight.
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
    No way!!!
  • ProjectTae
    ProjectTae Posts: 434 Member
    No. What if you marry and then have babies and get stretchmarks (or saggy boobs) or a hormone problem or something where you gain weight (even if only temporarily?)

    I do think attraction matters but to not give the TIME OF DAY prior seems kind of a-hole-ish to me. I can see being MORE attracted to someone who loves themselves enough to make healthy changes and to not let themselves totally go but not even the "time of day" I would be leery about.

    THIS!

    When you marry someone you've made a mental connection that goes beyond physical attraction (hopefully). After a certain amount of time has passed physical attraction does become less important. When you're first meeting someone you don't love them or have any type of emotional attachment so attraction does still play a role in my opinion anyways.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
    For those of you who say "no, if they didn't like me before, they can't have me now":

    Will you pause before accepting any future invitation from someone who has never before met you in order to pull out a photo of your "fat" self and request a sworn affidavit that this new person would have also been attracted to the "fat" you?

    be real, people.

    (Now if someone was rude and mean before, then no, but if they simply never asked you out, well . . . )
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