Don't Be So Rude

chanson104

I am so happy for you!

I also feel your pain. I am still 15 pounds over weight, but I hear from my family all the time that I have lost too much weight. I am the only one of my siblings that is not a diabetic or that does not have hypertension. My mom constantly comments on my weight but wouldn't dare give them a hard time about theirs. When my mom tells me that I am too skinny I want to respond with, Too skinny for what? Too skinny for diabetes? Too skinny for hypertension?

kazzari

I think people have become so accustomed to our significantly fatter population that they don't know what a healthy weight looks like. Except for those with eating disorders, thinner is almost always healthier than fatter. I also think people that know you can feel really threatened when you take control of your health and by your new confidence. It is their own insecurity. I personally haven't really had that experience, but I have seen it and it really is all about them and their issues. You should feel smug.

BriskisGrl

I know it isn't easy, but try not to take things people say so seriously. When it comes down to it all that matters is how YOU feel and what your doctor says. Both of you know your body more intimately than family, friends, strangers. WAY to go for being medication free. I honestly with I could be med free too, but I'm female and well isn't going to happen anytime soon for me.

katyar95

What matters is your health and that you feel good about yourself. Obviously, you've had it confirmed by an expert that you are in a good range for a person of your height. You feel good too, and YOU know your body best. Those people just need to understand that if your body needs more food, you will take that signal...NOT them. Way to go though, that is something to be proud of!

MrsBrawley

Oh my friend, I definitely think it is RUDE!!!

In my opinion, I think it would mostly stem from jealousy. People who are not happy with their weight, who are not at their ideal weight, and people who are just plain overweight tend to get jealous. I feel the old saying "misery loves company" is so true. I know personally. When I was thin, as I had been my whole life until I was about 20, and even that, when I had lost almost all of my weight back in 2003, I had a couple of people who said they were happy for me but seemed to sabotage or try to sabotage me all of the time. They were much heavier than I, and I could feel the jealousy radiating off of them (not being conceited at all, it's the honest truth). I worked hard to get where I was, and working even harder now to get where I want to be, and I know you have too. YOU know your body and what matters is how YOU feel and what your personal doctor says. The opinions of family, friends, strangers - even doctors who don't know you or your health, does not matter at all. I am so proud of you and it is so awesome that you have accomplished your goal! Ignore the nay-sayers and the jealous people out there. Don't allow them to bring you down - and remember this, they can't bring you down unless *you* allow them too.

Ignore them. Remember you rock!! :-)

Merrilies

If you want to talk about how people's perception of your weight frustrates you, fine, but don't act like overweight people have it so much better. They're judged, mocked, excluded from opportunities and often unable to find, or have to pay more for nice clothes. It's great that you are at a healthy and attractive weight now, but why do you have to compare your struggle with what fat people go through?

Not comparing, and when did I ever say that overweight people have it much better? I didn't say that once in my post, so please don't berate me for something I didn't even say!

I've been on both sides of it now - I've been fat and am now slim and still have people being rude, so was just trying to show that it's not just overweight people who struggle - some people will always be mean to others because of how they look - whether they are deemed to be fat, thin, wear glasses or whatever. Why can't we all just be kind to one another?

WandaJean1564

congrats on your weight loss...another success story...I love it!!
I have been told by other members on MFP to eat more...never thought Id be overweight and hear the words."eat more"

LynC33

Yes they are bloody rude. Maybe they just need to get used to seeing the new you. That takes time for some people, especially when the green eyed monster rears its ugly head. I would actually go off at them and say "enough is enough. Enough with the comments, Im a healthy weight, Im happy and overall im healthy, so why make me feel like s#@t about it everytime I see you? Be happy and supportive, thats what I need!!" LOL or something like that. Sorry, just got super angry reading your post, people that say stuff like that really piss me off!! You look great and if you feel great and you're happy thats all that matters :-)

queenbcronen

I'm SOOOO sorry. People either criticize or they get jealous. Damned if you do and damned if you don't! KUDOS to you that you are off your blood pressure meds and are healthy! that si AWESOME! You should be very, very proud!!! Pat yourself on the back and remind yourself of how far you have come.

BenChase

yeah don't worry you are not alone here, this time last year i was 225lbs and dianosed with a rare blood cancer and told i would be dead within a year if i kept living like i was, if i improved my life and stopped drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes it would probably range from 7-15 years, since then i was on 4 months chemo that didn't work and layed around waiting to die for about 3 months,i finally got out of my depression and in the past 5 months i have lost 65lbs and most of my body fat,i stay active and last week was told by my doctor that if i continue my life the way i am now (excercise and eating healthy,which keep in mind i eat 3,000 calories a day) then his best guess is i will probably die of old age before my cancer kills me because everything i have been doing is keeping my blood levels where they need to be....no medication....now i tell you this story because my mom has been with me during every one of my 100+ doctor visits and she knows how much i eat (which is 12 times a day - about 250 calories each) and she STILL said to me "make sure you don't over do it" (talking about excercise) and "how much more weight are you going to lose,you look too skinny" so i really think it is just that people have a mental image of how you are "supposed to look" because thats what you have looked like for so long,as well as an article i read a while back saying how most people (americans more so than others) when asked what is a healthy weight range for yourself, most picled a number in the obese category, i think the number was something like almost 80% of people, so i think over time we all just got so comfortable being obese that anything other than that seems wrong,and when we lose weight and feel great (and think we look great too) no one else is on that same page with us and it still looks so wrong to them...also on a side note i generally don't care what people think so i started making it a game for me,when someone says something negitive about my weight,i'll say something about thiers for example when my mom told me "don't over do it" my immediate reply to her was "don't under do it" followed by a smile and walking away

Merrilies

Hey Ben, very good luck to you in the future, sounds like you are doing well, hope it continues.

I don't like being rude but I like your attitude. The next time I get a 'you need to eat more' I may pluck up the courage to say back, 'and you need to eat less'. I bet that will shut them up

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

Great job for losing those 20 kilos or 42 pounds. I hear you, you're not alone. I'm also in the same situation, when I reached my goal weight, people start saying that I look boney skinny now but in reality my body fat percentage is still at 20-21% & not to mention that my BMI is 22. I want to lower my body fat to 17%.

Probably it is jealousy because mostly those same people dieted & failed which is why they can't take it that you're succeeding.

sarahmoo12

well done on reaching your goal! I would say its concern because they have always been used to the bigger you, im sure its really annoying maybe you should have a wee chat with them and just explain how they are making you feel ?

louised88

Too right. People need to stop commenting on other peoples' bodies full stop. Unless they're asked for their opinion of course,

Lauren8239

yeah don't worry you are not alone here, this time last year i was 225lbs and dianosed with a rare blood cancer and told i would be dead within a year if i kept living like i was, if i improved my life and stopped drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes it would probably range from 7-15 years, since then i was on 4 months chemo that didn't work and layed around waiting to die for about 3 months,i finally got out of my depression and in the past 5 months i have lost 65lbs and most of my body fat,i stay active and last week was told by my doctor that if i continue my life the way i am now (excercise and eating healthy,which keep in mind i eat 3,000 calories a day) then his best guess is i will probably die of old age before my cancer kills me because everything i have been doing is keeping my blood levels where they need to be....no medication....now i tell you this story because my mom has been with me during every one of my 100+ doctor visits and she knows how much i eat (which is 12 times a day - about 250 calories each) and she STILL said to me "make sure you don't over do it" (talking about excercise) and "how much more weight are you going to lose,you look too skinny" so i really think it is just that people have a mental image of how you are "supposed to look" because thats what you have looked like for so long,as well as an article i read a while back saying how most people (americans more so than others) when asked what is a healthy weight range for yourself, most picled a number in the obese category, i think the number was something like almost 80% of people, so i think over time we all just got so comfortable being obese that anything other than that seems wrong,and when we lose weight and feel great (and think we look great too) no one else is on that same page with us and it still looks so wrong to them...also on a side note i generally don't care what people think so i started making it a game for me,when someone says something negitive about my weight,i'll say something about thiers for example when my mom told me "don't over do it" my immediate reply to her was "don't under do it" followed by a smile and walking away

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kudos to you. I'm speechless. :flowerforyou:

Kebby83

The truth is - I have said to someone that they need to eat more. This girl is perfect weight wise and well toned and she DOES eat - she is 23 and has the metabolism of a I don't know what - snacks on candy all day, eats cheeseburgers and guzzles sugary drinks and doesn't gain a pound. And I told her she needs to eat more. Because I am a big jealous girl!

Rude? Meh, maybe a tiny bit. She laughed.

People tell me to eat more - and I do need to eat more healthy things but I eat plenty and I am not skinny - 155lbs, 6"5. But people aren't used to seeing me at 155 - infact I moved countries when I was 19 so NONE of the people in my present life have seen me under 185lbs at least and most have seen me at 230lbs. They think I am looking skinnier - they worry. Even at 230 they saw me rushing around and active.

I think people are over sensitive and slow to forgive too though. Don't worry so much about what people say. Don't you ever say something without thinking and it might offend another? I would hope the other person would realize you are human and humans do that **** constantly.