Terrified of weight gain in pregnancy...ED
Replies
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If you are still purging daily then you are not ready to be pregnant. If you want children you not only need to put them first you need to look after yourself so you can care for them.
If you're not currently receiving professional help then I strongly encourage you to do so. If you become pregnant before you stop purging you will harm your baby.
THIS!
Plus:
You can't expect to spend 9 months GROWING and NURTURING another being in your body without gaining "weight". It isn't fat, it's a BABY.
PLEASE wait until you are fully recovered before trying to fall pregnant. And good luck! I hope you can do this for yourself and your family.
edit: the capitals are not yelling, they are in lieu of bold font :-)0 -
Wow. Talk to a professional before you even consider getting pregnant, please.
Here's something to think about - once you get pregnant/have children, it stops being about YOU and starts being about THEM. You won't allow a weight gain? Then don't get pregnant. That baby needs you to gain weight - and there are plenty of healthy ways to do it. But if you can't even consider this first step without going into a panic, then you are NOT ready to be a Mom. Get healthy first - menatallly and physically. Please.
I second this. There's plenty of moms who don't put their kids first if you're already purging 2-3 times a day then you can't even carry to term if you can even get pregnant in the first place.
I gained 100 pounds during pregnancy so yeah good luck0 -
I have been worried about the effects of pregnancy on my body as well.
My concern is that I'm the type of person to go 'oh well, I'm pregnant, I can eat whatever I want now if I'm "craving" it'. And I don't want to be that way!
I am also wanting to have a baby soon, so one of my main goals is to get as fit and healthy as I can before I start to try. That way, my chances of continuing the healthy lifestyle during and after the pregnancy is going to be greater.
:-)0 -
:huh:I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.
Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.
If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.
your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.
And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.
1)ok so you only "leak" after the baby starts to push down on your bladder, and you sneeze realy hard or laugh.
2)some people do poo durring dilivery regardless, some do not
3)the "good job" is for getting that giant pumpkin of a head closer to out
4) yeah hair loss dosent have anything to do with the dilivery, sorry but it dosent
5) oh the op needs to wait to have one but its good that she and the hubbie are talking it over first:bigsmile:0 -
I have struggled with bulimia on and off for the last 11 years. I have a nine month old son. I gained 38lbs and sadly, only lost 9lbs giving birth, and he was a 5lbs premature baby! I still 9 months later haven't hit pre pregnancy weight, but I am 8lbs away from it thanks to this site. I have to say, one thing my son has done for me is given me a reason to do this weight loss thing the healthy way. Having him, and realizing I have this little tiny being that fully depends on me 100 percent of the time.... means I should take care of myself. And while some days I still want to run to the bathroom and do my thing, those big blue eyes look up at me....and I realize he is ripping apart all the toilet paper and there is no time to even consider it
Everybody reacts to pregnancy different, thats just my story... I got the short end of the stick and losing the weight has been rough..0 -
I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.
Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.
If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.
your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.
And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.
What the hell are you on about LOL!
Where on earth have you heard such rubbish?
Peeing oneself all the time, soiling yourself, hair falling out..... bloody hell........
To anybody who is alarmed at the above, that is not a normal life of a woman during pregnancy.
I witnessed this first hand.
That may be so, but it is not a common occurrence during pregnancy I can assure you. The way you wrote it, made it sound as if it was 100% certain that every female that fall pregnant will experience all those things.
Whoever it was you witnessed having this, had other issues, because one of the more favourable aspects of pregnancy is actually great hair - it should NOT be falling out.0 -
Ok so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.
I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!
I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.
Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.
Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?
Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.
If you and your husband truly want to have children together, you need to stop purging - period! You will need to put on that weight for the health and welfare of the developing fetus. Your body will definitely 'let you know' when you need to eat.
If you are so scared and paranoid about the 25-35lb gain and still purging, then having the discussion of children right now is not the right thing to do at all. All your focusing on is the fact you still purge, the thought of having to gain weight making you this scared... unfortunately it will take having you to completely stop purging, eating right, being at a healthy stage both physically, emotionally and psychologically.... You really need to continue focusing on the guidance of an Eating-Behavorial Specialist and/or team you are seeing right now.... good luck0 -
Please give yourself more time to recover from your ED, you will in fact probably need to gain some weight even prior to becoming pregnant in order to conceive. If this sacrifice does not seem reasonable then it might be better to think of alternatives such as adoption or fostering children. Best of luck to you in your recovery.
This is what I was thinking too. EDs like anorexia and bulimia make it more difficult to conceive anyway.0 -
I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.
Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.
If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.
your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.
And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.
Lol this made me laugh, funny to see a guys perspective.
1) the leaking may happen at the very end or after child birth. They recomend kegel exercises, which helps a great deal with this if it should happen.
2) Poo.....you are pushing with all your might!!! to fit a baby down the birth canal,(picture passing a large grapefruit through a lemon...it will take effort :noway: ) some poo might happen or might not. With a great midwife or nurse you will never even know.
3) the great job, is for encouragement, not for the poo lol Or else your wife would be standing at the bathroom door telling you your doing a great job everytime you have a BM! Child birth is hard, they dont just fall out of you, encouragement is highly recomended.
4) I did get hair loss after child birth, but not giant clumps, this was due to hormonal fluctuations. during pregnancy women tend to have gorgeous thick hair.
5) I was amused by your post, but having been through this twice,I thought id share a female point of view.
In all honesty, i hated my body when i was pregnant, i gained a lot of weight (~70lbs)and I had large babies (10lbs+), People would come up and ask if i was having multiples, I was so ashamed. Looking back on it now, I wish I could have celebrated my body and the beauty of being pregnant, instead of trying to hide it. It was a beautiful time........except the morning sickness that sucked lol But my babies were worth it and Id do it again just to have them
We all have battles with which we struggles with in one form or another. We are not perfect beings.
To the OP. I give you props for being mature enough for this to be in the discussion stage and reaching out to the MFP comunity for support and insight from others who have dealt with EDs. Yours is not an easy struggle and I can only imagine what you are going through. I don't beleive it anyones place to say if/when you should or should not have a child.
I wish you the best of luck with your health and success with your recovery.0 -
I'll come back to this...I was anorexic, and I'm pregnant with my 4th...gotta go to work, but I'll come back to this.0
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Ok so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.
I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!
I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.
Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.
Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?
Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.0 -
Ok so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.
I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!
I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.
Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.
Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?
Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.
It is hard to know that you will gain that much weight, and sometimes more if there are issues or a multiple pregnancy. Please, get yourself to an even better place before you consider pregnancy. Pregnancy is very hard on your body physically and mentally. If you are still purging on such a regular basis, it is going to be even harder. Please work with your doctors to figure out when the best time will be for you. Also - have you considered adoption? That could work out so great for you here. I wish you all the best.
Edited to add: when I was pregnant with my first, I had just lost a lot of weight. I was trying to lose more. I knew I needed to gain weight to have a healthy baby. I just stopped watching the scale. I completely got rid of mine and I asked the doctor to not tell me what my weight was when I went in for my appointments. It was very hard, but ultimately, I was willing to do anything for him, anything at all. I ended up with pre-eclampsia and gained 70 pounds. A month later, I was 2 pounds down from pre-pregnancy weight without any diet or exercise at that point. The weight comes off. I do stick with my previous comment that pregnancy is very hard emotionally and physically, in ways that others cannot prepare you to understand.0 -
I have six children, i don't have ED though and I never gained that much. The most i gained was with my 6th child, but I was also older,37 years, and I gained 20 lbs. The least i gained was with my 3th, just 7 pounds, she was 6.4 lbs by birth. You just need to be healthy, good eating habits, not eating for 2, just a lots of good nutrition, moderate,exerciseOk so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.
I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!
I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.
Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.
Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?
Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.0 -
What the hell are you talking about? Do you have children? She doesn't want to g er t scared, but supported. I have six children and i never peed or pooped on myself, my hair is waist long and never was falling out. Good lord, what is wrong with youI don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.
Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.
If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.
your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.
And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.0 -
i wouldnt recommend getting pregnant until you are in a healthier place in your ED, as a baby’s health and development depends on it. I don’t think it will matter to you that the weight is not actually your own, but is your baby’s, and that’s a big risk to take in hoping that you will think rationally.
Good luck with your recovery.0 -
I didn't read all 5 pages of replies, so forgive me if this has been said already...
Keep in mind that after the birth, breastfeeding will (in addition to being insanely healthy for your baby) burn calories like you've never seen.
The one thing my wife lamented most after breastfeeding was over was now she'd have to regulate her diet again. Imagine eating for two - only the 2nd one is more than 6-7 lbs!0 -
I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.
Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.
If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.
your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.
And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.
uhhh this is NOT true. trust me.0 -
Hello,
I hope that this isn't too personal on a public forum but it is important that you get professional help if you are not already. Regular counselling can help you and it is good to continue this even when you do feel recovered.
This is very good advise very nicely given. I would add that you should continue therapy throughout your pregnancy and after so that you are not overwhelmed by the weight gain. I also agree that at least 20-25 lbs is from the baby, fluid, placenta and extra blood needed for the baby. Most of that comes off within the first 2 months of having had the baby. It would only be a small gain that you really have to worry about and through proper diet and nutrition you should be able to take that off quickly. Good luck.0 -
First, I would like to Congratulate you the hard work you've already done with the bulimia and anorexia. Keep in mind that much. of the weight gain during pregnancy is the baby. It will also depend on the child itself. My second child was 2 1/2 inches longer than my first one. and I actually lost one pound after the birth.
Try to focus on the nutrition and exercise (walking in particular).0 -
You aren't ready to be pregnant - you are sick. Get better first.
Also - I put on over 100lbs when pregnant. So yeah you will gain weight. You might even be fat.0 -
I don't think that is something person recovering from ED wants to hear. There is no reason for anybody to gain that kind of weight, unless you have some kind of medical condition. You dont have to eat for 2, by gaining 100 lbs more likely for 10, no offense. I have 6 kids and the max i gained is 20 lbsYou aren't ready to be pregnant - you are sick. Get better first.
Also - I put on over 100lbs when pregnant. So yeah you will gain weight. You might even be fat.0 -
I have been pregnant six times (yikes) and of that had four singletons and two sets of twins (eight babies). You will gain weight. If you don't the baby will be small but even worse, their brains do not develop fully if you don't eat well. I usually gain around 20 pounds each time (40 with twins each time). It is very possible to lose it after. I'm 40 and 5'6" and I weigh 135 after all those pregnancies. It can be done. Make sure that what you eat is healthy, don't just load up on junk. I would have to agree though that it does not sound like you are in a mental place to be considering pregnancy.0
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There is a website to calculate how many calories you should eat a day. This would be a great guideline for you.
If you fear gaining weight so muc, I would suggest not getting pregnant. Your baby does not need to suffer because you want to be thin. Children learn from their parents. If they see you purging, they will think it's normal and do it. You can't hand much from children because they are ALWAYS around.
If you do get pregnant, I suggest you are honest with your OB and have him monitor your weight.0 -
You aren't ready to be pregnant - you are sick. Get better first.
Also - I put on over 100lbs when pregnant. So yeah you will gain weight. You might even be fat.
Possibly the most unhelpful post here. Congratulations.0 -
I did reply earlier in the thread but I assume it was missed so here it is again.
Thank you guys for your replies. Some I agree with, some I don't.
I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.
I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.
I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.
However some people were very helpful and pleasant, and for that I thank you.
This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.
This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.0 -
I did reply earlier in the thread but I assume it was missed so here it is again.
Thank you guys for your replies. Some I agree with, some I don't.
I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.
I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.
I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.
However some people were very helpful and pleasant, and for that I thank you.
This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.
This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.
well to be fair, your thread title and most of the original post was all about getting pregnant0 -
I don't think that is something person recovering from ED wants to hear. There is no reason for anybody to gain that kind of weight, unless you have some kind of medical condition. You dont have to eat for 2, by gaining 100 lbs more likely for 10, no offense. I have 6 kids and the max i gained is 20 lbsYou aren't ready to be pregnant - you are sick. Get better first.
Also - I put on over 100lbs when pregnant. So yeah you will gain weight. You might even be fat.
Congratulations on your perfect, uncomplicated child birthing. No one should ever count on pregnancy going exactly as planned, especially if you have a MENTAL DISORDER.
I have 2 kids, one pregnancy and by the time they were a year old I gained a solid 70 pounds, 90% of which was out of my direct control. Give yourself a pat on the back. And by the way, no one should ever tell a person with an eating disorder what they want to hear. What is wrong with you?0 -
I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.
Unfortunately where you were willing to admit that you still purge (doesnt matter if its 1, 2, 3 or 4 times), people are going to say the first thing that is genuinely the truth - you truly are not well thus not even classified in recovery by clinical standards. Personally speaking, I work in healthcare and that includes clinicians who specialize in working with ED patients.
There are many of us who are mirroring your comment here of "we all know that I shouldnt have children yet"
I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.
No one has really gone as far (in my opinion) as you feel you think they are. People have made it known about your original inquiry of the pregnancy weight and such by answering it. Clearly the subject of weight gain-in general is still a horrible thing in your mind hence your original post but you have to sit back and understand - you did post something on an open forum on a weight-loss/fitness website. Everyone who posts something will risk either some really good posts (which you really did get alot of great posts) and unfortunately you will run into some who are just down right nasty (honestly speaking, I didnt see any here).
I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.
Anyone with ED whether they are truly recovering or those who, like you who still are actively afflicted with their ED are going to automatically feel like targets on websites like this where its for weightloss/fitness - its going to feel like you are being attacked no matter what, but I truly believe you were not attacked - I truly believe that where you let your guard down and willingly admitted to still purging, and then asked for feedback about the weight gain and pregnancy, that lit a big red light for all of us. And I am guaranteeing if you were to bring a printout of all posts from your thread to your clinicians, they would have some great feedback for you.This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.
The one thing you do need to understand though, in my humble opinion, this thread did very well to maintain honesty and integrity with you without coming out in full verbal-bluntly put attacks... I know that might not feel the same way in your mind but, speaking as someone on the side of the clinicians and where I see this quite often, unfortunately your sensitive side with regard to ED can tend to heat things up where you allowed yourself to be vulnerable. I do think its COMMENDABLE that you risked coming here... but the reality kicks in. ED related topics are not going to be as productive as a therapy session with your clinicians- and yes, your thread encompassed ED - the fact this thread was able to remain active is VERY surprising - but its because people werent getting nasty with you is why the thread remained open (IMHO).
Everyone who has posted a relating answer to this with your current ED issues, are in fact correct. Even if you were to overcome the act of purging, you still have a very poor psychological tie to the negativity that surrounds the typical weight-gain issue all on its own, sans pregnancy. You would still have an extremely long road to travel on still once you stop purging.
Weight gain in pregnancy - women who get pregnant generally dont think too much into the weight gain because they know they have a baby growing inside of them and that is all they think about, and then at the end its "GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!" LOL!!!!
. I wont discuss the medical complications of my pregnancy but, I did gain 75lbs thanks to being misdiagnosed with gestational diabetes and leave it at that. But, in developing more medical problems after having her, relating to the misdiagnosis, I do have problems with weight loss, but I am 53lbs down and Im half way there. Do I let the weight issue get to me? NOPE...0 -
I think that it is very difficult to get the proper guidance on dealing with an ED in an online forum. (My background: I had an eating disorder many years ago and worked with other women with EDs for a brief time. Yet, still no expert!)
It is SUCH a difficult illness for people to wrap their heads around, and it is so misunderstood. I cringe when I see ED related posts, because inevitably, there are some really insensitive or ignorant comments. I think most of the comments in here were really coming from a good place (as much as you can tell from the internet), so I hope you don't take any of them personally.
I'm fully recovered, but I have a good friend who is still very controlled by her ED, even though she isn't (as far as I know) actively purging or losing weight. Still, when she was pregnant she did not cope well with the weight gain and was obsessively exercising and stressed about gaining weight. We were so worried for her, because a person with no excess body fat obsessing over gaining every ounce during pregnancy is not good (to put it mildly).
A lot of people have said, "you'll just put the baby first and not care about anything else". Well, that was not true for my friend. She cared more about how much weight she gained (which is a simplistic way to put it, but the ED won out over health in her decision making). She got a new OB/GYN and didn't tell them about her ED history. The baby did turn out ok in the end, so far as we know, but she handles motherhood the same way she handles her body: with rigid control to the point of misery. I'm still scared for her and her baby.
But, even this is just one story. I've heard of other women with EDs that do turn it around for pregnancy. You are an individual. You and your care team and family will know what is best for you. I really wish you all the best. Don't let any harsh comments hurt you. People generally find EDs scary and mystifying and usually just want you to be healthy. The others, well, don't even bother thinking about the truly ignorant comments.0 -
dont forget the stretch marks and problems peeing after having an epidural!0
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