Terrified of weight gain in pregnancy...ED

katemme

Would it help to know that most of the weight gain isn't from fat. Most it of it is from the baby itself, the placenta etc and then 5 to 10 lbs of fat which is to help with milk production when the baby is born.

this is what i was going to say! most of it is from the baby itself and extra blood and everything. just know that the weight gain is temporary and for the benefit of having a healthy baby!

PanteraGirl

Hi there, I'm currently pregnant. I worried about weight gain before I got pregnant, but when I decided I was ready, my mind set completely changed. I got pregnant and my whole world is about being healthy for the baby. I eat when ever I'm hungry and I eat healthy. I no longer care about the weight gain because I know that after I have the baby I could continue my journey for weight loss.

I am glad you are getting help and you are making progress with your ED. My suggestion is that you should wait to get pregnant because you have to be completely ready for weight gain and you need to be okay with that because if you have a relapse and continue to purge or not eat enough, there could be long term health or physical issues for your baby.

I think you are doing a good job getting your life back in control and you should keep doing just that for a little while longer. 20-25 lbs is a healthy weight gain for pregnancy. You have to be okay with that and the possibility that you may gain more than that as many of my friends have.

Keep working on it and when you are okay with weight gain, then you are ready for a child. I hope this helps...I wish you the best of luck! :flowerforyou:

porcelain_me

Thank you guys for your replies. Some I agree with, some I don't.

I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.

I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.

I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.

However some people were very helpful and pleasant, and for that I thank you.

This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.

This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.

grrrlface

Thank you guys for your replies. Some I agree with, some I don't.

I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.

I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.

I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.

However some people were very helpful and pleasant, and for that I thank you.

This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.

This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.

It can get bit nasty on these boards but mostly helpful!

I haven't replied in this thread before, I don't have kids myself, it's a scary thing for me to think about too in regards to weight gain, but just wanted to say I wish you the best of luck for the future. I hope one day you and your partner can have a child and you will be happy and healthy!!

silverkitten13

i just had a baby two months ago. you gain some during the pregnancy but you will lose most if not all of iy very very fast. especially if you breastfeed. 90% of the weight you gain is all baby. however its extremelly dangerous to try and get pregnant if you have an ED because the baby will be using up stores your body currently has and you can become anemic and get gestesational diabetes.. not to mention its dangerous to your babies health too.wait until you are completely healthy and can keep down at least 1500 calories a day!!

callsitlikeiseeit

This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.

for future knowledge .... if these boards are harsh (yes, they are at times) - STAY AWAY from pregnancy/ parenting ones! I get nervous shakes just THINKING about those!

OMG - thats a whole beast unto which i would not wish my worst enemy.

well, maybe my WORST enemy

take care of you, first and foremost.

bm99

I gained about 30 fat pounds during my pregnancy with twins ( 70 pounds including babies and fluids). Then I put on an extra 45 pounds to put me at 245 pounds after a year of exhaustion and mild post partem. It was VERY depressing to think about at first, but then I realized that I would willingly cut off my own arm for those kids, so what's a little weight gain? Sure it sucks having to lose it, but oh well. Once you look at their little faces it's all worth it.

Just remember it doesn't always go the way you want, and you can't help that. I had twins and had to be on bed rest for 6 months. After that the hormone surges and PPD were insane and I lost control with food and started craving the crappiest of all crap foods. Add the exhaustion of caring for 2 newborns by myself, I don't think the outcome could have been any different. Just remember there is a time for YOU and it isn't necessarily when baby is tiny. You can take time to lose the weight and just focus on your little one for a while.

maddymama

Thank you guys for your replies. Some I agree with, some I don't.

I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.

I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.

I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.

However some people were very helpful and pleasant, and for that I thank you.

This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.

This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.

Please let me clarify my thoughts on this. When I hear a friend say they are discussing having children, it usually means they are currently trying or will start trying to conceive imminently. I personally think that is why some people here responded as they did, thinking that you are purging and trying to conceive now. I think that is why people were asking you to wait....

chantalb20

Thank you guys for your replies. Some I agree with, some I don't.

I just want to point out that I never asked for anyone's opinions about me getting pregnant. I said that me and my husband ARE DISCUSSING planning a baby. As in, we are talking about one day having children. What i did ask, however, was for other peoples experiences with a similar feeling, ED related or not. So why so many people are telling me not to have babies is a bit of a mystery, I didn't ask if I should or shouldn't get pregnant.

I appreciate what you are all saying, and it goes without saying that my husband, my care team and I have discussed the possibility of children in the future (remembering of course I may not be able to have them) and we all know that I shouldn't have children yet.

I have to say that some of the posts here have been awfully hurtful and very disrespectful. I don't have psychosis or delusions or anything like that, and how dare people comment when they don't know and the original question was nothing about that. And some of the ways some posts were written... It seems almost rude and cruel and not fair at all. I never asked if I was ready to be a mom, and seen as no one here knows me I would assume that no one could possibility have an opinion on if I would or not.... I'm not going to go into a rant.

However some people were very helpful and pleasant, and for that I thank you.

This whole post wasn't something I expected everyone to understand to its entirety (as in I know not everyone has an eating disorder) but I was expecting people to comment on the idea of weight gain or loss and the way your body changed. Not many people have done this, instead I have been told that I'm psychotic, not ready to be a mother, not able to carry a baby safely and (near enough) that I'm selfish.

This whole experience has made me very wary of this community and the judgement that is past so quickly. I will hesitate before asking a question, eating disorder related or not, again.

I'm incredibly sorry that people were so rude to you. Having a child while having an ED is something people shouldn't comment on unless they've experienced it. I have also been called a selfish and irresponsible mother on these forums for my battle with anorexia. I've been that people feel sorry for my child and that I'm incredibly selfish because I'm going to die and leave him without a parent. I ignore those, they have no idea what it's like. I hope you found my reply helpful and please feel free to message me x

xHelloQuincyx

My cousin felt the same way about gaining weight. Her baby made it about 7 months into the pregancy before dying. Please wait till you are completely healthy!! Please?

exactly what i was going to say.
if it is even possible to concieve. http://www.fertilityfactor.com/infertility_female_infertility_eating_disorders.html

alsooooo
Getting pregnant while suffering from an eating disorder increases the risk of:
•Gestational diabetes
•Preeclampsia
•Labor complications
•Needing a c-section
•Postpartum Depression (bulimics are especially vulnerable to this)
•Infant death within the first month after birth
•Baby being born with a low birth weight
•Jaundice
•Low APGAR scores
•Low amniotic fluid
•Placental separation
•Birth defects, especially blindness and mental retardation

i work in a childcare center in a college and can see some of the effects that things have on children. life altering effects.

388gigi

If you are still purging daily then you are not ready to be pregnant. If you want children you not only need to put them first you need to look after yourself so you can care for them.

If you're not currently receiving professional help then I strongly encourage you to do so. If you become pregnant before you stop purging you will harm your baby.

THIS!

Plus:

You can't expect to spend 9 months GROWING and NURTURING another being in your body without gaining "weight". It isn't fat, it's a BABY.

PLEASE wait until you are fully recovered before trying to fall pregnant. And good luck! I hope you can do this for yourself and your family.

edit: the capitals are not yelling, they are in lieu of bold font :-)

gypsybree

Wow. Talk to a professional before you even consider getting pregnant, please.

Here's something to think about - once you get pregnant/have children, it stops being about YOU and starts being about THEM. You won't allow a weight gain? Then don't get pregnant. That baby needs you to gain weight - and there are plenty of healthy ways to do it. But if you can't even consider this first step without going into a panic, then you are NOT ready to be a Mom. Get healthy first - menatallly and physically. Please.

I second this. There's plenty of moms who don't put their kids first if you're already purging 2-3 times a day then you can't even carry to term if you can even get pregnant in the first place.

I gained 100 pounds during pregnancy so yeah good luck

388gigi

I have been worried about the effects of pregnancy on my body as well.

My concern is that I'm the type of person to go 'oh well, I'm pregnant, I can eat whatever I want now if I'm "craving" it'. And I don't want to be that way!

I am also wanting to have a baby soon, so one of my main goals is to get as fit and healthy as I can before I start to try. That way, my chances of continuing the healthy lifestyle during and after the pregnancy is going to be greater.

:-)

rextcat

I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.

Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.


If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.

your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.

And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.

:huh:

1)ok so you only "leak" after the baby starts to push down on your bladder, and you sneeze realy hard or laugh.
2)some people do poo durring dilivery regardless, some do not
3)the "good job" is for getting that giant pumpkin of a head closer to out
4) yeah hair loss dosent have anything to do with the dilivery, sorry but it dosent
5) oh the op needs to wait to have one but its good that she and the hubbie are talking it over first:bigsmile:

momo2011Tuck

I have struggled with bulimia on and off for the last 11 years. I have a nine month old son. I gained 38lbs and sadly, only lost 9lbs giving birth, and he was a 5lbs premature baby! I still 9 months later haven't hit pre pregnancy weight, but I am 8lbs away from it thanks to this site. I have to say, one thing my son has done for me is given me a reason to do this weight loss thing the healthy way. Having him, and realizing I have this little tiny being that fully depends on me 100 percent of the time.... means I should take care of myself. And while some days I still want to run to the bathroom and do my thing, those big blue eyes look up at me....and I realize he is ripping apart all the toilet paper and there is no time to even consider it

Everybody reacts to pregnancy different, thats just my story... I got the short end of the stick and losing the weight has been rough..

Di3012

I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.

Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.

If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.

your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.

And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.

What the hell are you on about LOL!

Where on earth have you heard such rubbish?

Peeing oneself all the time, soiling yourself, hair falling out..... bloody hell........

To anybody who is alarmed at the above, that is not a normal life of a woman during pregnancy.

I witnessed this first hand.

That may be so, but it is not a common occurrence during pregnancy I can assure you. The way you wrote it, made it sound as if it was 100% certain that every female that fall pregnant will experience all those things.

Whoever it was you witnessed having this, had other issues, because one of the more favourable aspects of pregnancy is actually great hair - it should NOT be falling out.

cramernh

Ok so my husband and I are discussing planning a family. We both desperately want children and always have. So I was reading about what type of stuff you are supposed to do to prepare for pregnancy, and then started reading about pregnancy in general.

I then read the most horrific thing I have ever read. You are expected to gain between 20lbs-35lbs in pregnancy. WTF??!?!?!

I suffer from severe bulimia with anorexic tendencies, and although I am getting help for it and I'm not as bad as I was physically (I'm not purging as much, prob 2-4 times a day currently. Down from 10+ or basically whatever I ate) I'm nowhere near recovered. But I'm working hard towards it.

Seriously, I could not handle gaining that much weight in pregnancy. I won't allow it.

Is there anyone else who has been in a similar situation? With or without an ED, was anyone else ABSOULTELY TERRIFIED about the weight gain and the way your body changed during pregnancy? If you had an ED did it make you worse? How did you cope? Or did you force yourself to change for the baby?

Please give me some good news, right now im dreading it and really scared about pregnancy in general.

If you and your husband truly want to have children together, you need to stop purging - period! You will need to put on that weight for the health and welfare of the developing fetus. Your body will definitely 'let you know' when you need to eat.

If you are so scared and paranoid about the 25-35lb gain and still purging, then having the discussion of children right now is not the right thing to do at all. All your focusing on is the fact you still purge, the thought of having to gain weight making you this scared... unfortunately it will take having you to completely stop purging, eating right, being at a healthy stage both physically, emotionally and psychologically.... You really need to continue focusing on the guidance of an Eating-Behavorial Specialist and/or team you are seeing right now.... good luck

jpuderbaugh

Please give yourself more time to recover from your ED, you will in fact probably need to gain some weight even prior to becoming pregnant in order to conceive. If this sacrifice does not seem reasonable then it might be better to think of alternatives such as adoption or fostering children. Best of luck to you in your recovery.

This is what I was thinking too. EDs like anorexia and bulimia make it more difficult to conceive anyway.

smiley245

I don't have an ED or a uterus. But I can say that the weight gain is minor, and it will drop off. If you want to know the scary parts, here is my take on it.

Your going to pee yourself, often. like when you sneeze, or if you breath. its just going to be all over all the time.


If you go natural. your going to poop, in front of everyone. and not just like once. I mean with every single push if you get a "good job" its cause you have soiled yourself.

your hair is going to start falling out in clumps after wards. I mean, nasty kemo style clumps, in the shower.

And for the love of god, do not get preggers until you can handle gaining a few pounds. please.

Lol this made me laugh, funny to see a guys perspective.

1) the leaking may happen at the very end or after child birth. They recomend kegel exercises, which helps a great deal with this if it should happen.

2) Poo.....you are pushing with all your might!!! to fit a baby down the birth canal,(picture passing a large grapefruit through a lemon...it will take effort :noway: ) some poo might happen or might not. With a great midwife or nurse you will never even know.

3) the great job, is for encouragement, not for the poo lol Or else your wife would be standing at the bathroom door telling you your doing a great job everytime you have a BM! Child birth is hard, they dont just fall out of you, encouragement is highly recomended.

4) I did get hair loss after child birth, but not giant clumps, this was due to hormonal fluctuations. during pregnancy women tend to have gorgeous thick hair.

5) I was amused by your post, but having been through this twice,I thought id share a female point of view.

In all honesty, i hated my body when i was pregnant, i gained a lot of weight (~70lbs)and I had large babies (10lbs+), People would come up and ask if i was having multiples, I was so ashamed. Looking back on it now, I wish I could have celebrated my body and the beauty of being pregnant, instead of trying to hide it. It was a beautiful time........except the morning sickness that sucked lol But my babies were worth it and Id do it again just to have them
We all have battles with which we struggles with in one form or another. We are not perfect beings.

To the OP. I give you props for being mature enough for this to be in the discussion stage and reaching out to the MFP comunity for support and insight from others who have dealt with EDs. Yours is not an easy struggle and I can only imagine what you are going through. I don't beleive it anyones place to say if/when you should or should not have a child.
I wish you the best of luck with your health and success with your recovery.

MamaSonyaP

I'll come back to this...I was anorexic, and I'm pregnant with my 4th...gotta go to work, but I'll come back to this.