sabotage, betrayal and moms

kbresso

I don't think the people who love us are purposely trying to sabotage us, but my husband occasionally does. If he happens to be at the grocery store and sees something he knows I love to eat--but am trying to avoid--he'll buy it for me anyway.

I'm fortunate enough to have a hubby who loves me no matter what size I am so he thinks having me eat the foods I love (and have made me fat) is a good thing. When he does this I remind him that I'm trying to eat better and avoid the junk he's bringing me and that I can't do it without his support. I also tell him that bringing me the food HE thinks I want to eat doesn't make me happy...it makes me feel bad about myself. This usually gets him to stop buying me anything for a few months before I need to remind him again.

^^This. I know my hubby just wants to make me happy when he buys me a cannoli from the his favorite Italian deli but he knows I have little willpower when it comes to sweets. Though he is better about asking first before buying something, I think he would prefer if I were back to my old habits. I'd be a lot less annoying with all this calorie counting

islandnutshel

My family deep fries everything that can fit into the little countertop thingy we have.

My husband had one of those when I married him. It was the first thing that went missing.

Who doesn't have a fat tooth?

Christine1110

I would say....now you know better. You need to take control of ordering your food and serving yourself. Let her know that you have changed your life stye to be more healthy....it was very sweet of her to serve you, but you no longer drink your coffee....or food like that!! It's you life....your body....you have to take control!!

Good luck!

foot2wood

Yesterday I went to my in laws for a cook out, they like to drink, I was asked would you like a drink, I respond no I'm good I'll just have water if I get thirsty. 10 minutes later, I have a cranberry vodka tequila orange juice whatever sitting next to me, needless to say I didn't drink, I feel ungrateful but its just not what I want to waste my calories on.

Been there many times. You just have to stay focused on your goals and if you're not craving crappy stuff with no nutritional value, why consume it? It's your body and they should respect and understand your decisions.

GabrielleZelda

I know how you feel! I bet your mom just thinks she knows best and wants you to stay healthy (I hope this is the case, at least!)

It's happened to me before, usually when I go out with my girls. I avoid getting drinks because I'm watching my waist line, and then they will buy me drinks... I mean, they want me to have fun, but I don't need alcohol to do that, you know?

But then what can I do, just throw the drink away? I've done it a few times. Hehe.

taunto

Cold_Steel

doesn't sound like sabotage as much as simply not knowing.

What I get is a lot of that mom mentality from my mother in law --

Are you sure you have had enough food ? Get seconds... thirds... you need to eat or you are going to starve !

She raised two marines and was married to one so I think she is used to cooking large amounts of foods for guys.

She means very well and I love her but I always have to explain my lifestyle change and or just say no I am very full.

Sidesteal

One time I was eatin ribs with my buddy Lester and I bent down to pick up my napkin and Lester farted right on my ribs.

Cold_Steel

One time I was eatin ribs with my buddy Lester and I bent down to pick up my napkin and Lester farted right on my ribs.

That is not sabotage that is called "Negative Methane Reinforcement"

You want bad food ...

I fart on it.

I bet you you still ate them didn't you.

Pink_Tina

My husband, who has lost half a person already and is very food conscious now, will be like "Hey, you want a poptart? I'm craving a poptart, but I don't want to eat both," right after he just watched me eat my sandwich and fruit cup for lunch. And when I say no he won't eat it and then will try to make me feel bad for not eating half of the poptart by saying stuff like "Well, guess they'll just sit up there and gather dust then." Seriously, wtf? I ended up throwing them out.

Also, his work rotation is that he goes out to the field for three days and comes home for three, right (Air Force)? Every day he travels in he wants to go out to eat. Ok, I'm fine with that. I've gotten to where I can ignore the appetizer of chicken tenders he always orders and eat my salad or the low cal food item they have on the menu. What I hate is that when he goes to pay (we always go to Perkins), he always buys one of the pies (a whole one) from the display case and it just sits in the fridge! He'll only eat a piece of it and then be all "Wow, that's really filling. Better only have it once a week," but he doesn't eat the rest! Weeks later, I usually end up throwing it out because it just sits there, staring me in the face.

I mean, I understand he can have his treats because he is totally fit and a dedicated runner now, but have a little consideration for the poor chick still struggling, you know? And, yes, I told him my frustrations and he was all "Sorry, won't happen again." ...And yet it still does. All I can say is I got so much will power I could use it to build a new Great Wall. xD

Kell_Smurthwaite

My Mum's kind of like this but kind of the opposite. She's on a diet herself, but she's aparently restricted her calories to just 1100 a day (according to her - I know, I told her that's way too low, but would she listen?). Anyway, she drinks pepsi Max and adds powdered milk to her coffee - wasted calories on both counts if you ask me - and when we were staying at her house on holiday, she pretty much matched me at every meal. I was clocking in at around 1800 cals a day but doing some exercise - she was not. And she wonders why she can't lose the weight? She can't even be honest with herself over what she's eating and drinking (oh, and there was a Southern Comfort an dlemonade in there too!), and can't see that she's derailing herself without even realising it. Not only that, but I seriously had to watch what she was putting on my plate or I would have been way over calories myself. I actually had to keep taking things OFF my plate - LOL!

carld256

Me: I'm starting a new diet today.
Mom: Here, have a doughnut.
Me: Didn't you hear what I just said?
Mom: I was just trying to be kind.
Me: sigh.

My grandmother was a lot worse. She grew up, and raised a family, in an era when there simply wasn't enough food. So, for her, fat equaled healthy and thin equaled starvation. She literally thought overeating could cure cancer. I loved them both to death, but man ....

ShifuYaku

Comic Sans - the most evil font in all creation (besides Papyrus) :laugh: / :sad:

ShifuYaku

My Mum's kind of like this but kind of the opposite. She's on a diet herself, but she's aparently restricted her calories to just 1100 a day (according to her - I know, I told her that's way too low, but would she listen?). Anyway, she drinks pepsi Max and adds powdered milk to her coffee - wasted calories on both counts if you ask me - and when we were staying at her house on holiday, she pretty much matched me at every meal. I was clocking in at around 1800 cals a day but doing some exercise - she was not. And she wonders why she can't lose the weight? She can't even be honest with herself over what she's eating and drinking (oh, and there was a Southern Comfort an dlemonade in there too!), and can't see that she's derailing herself without even realising it. Not only that, but I seriously had to watch what she was putting on my plate or I would have been way over calories myself. I actually had to keep taking things OFF my plate - LOL!

In order to lose weight better, I think she should keep off the soda, first. I haven't drank any soda for almost two months now, except for those little times that I slipped up //giggle... but yeah. I feel all sick and bloated after I have had soda. Exercise... yeah... just tell her to stop drinking soda. That's the first big step, I think.

taunto

Comic Sans - the most evil font in all creation (besides Papyrus) :laugh: / :sad:

Evil font, for evil moms!

hallie_b

My mom just asked me if I wanted her to bring home a slice ofthe cappucino cheese cake she made. She knows I'm on a diet but asked anyway. She didn't do it to be mean she just didn't want me to feel like she wasn't think of me I guess. I said "God NO" (not because it didn't sound delicious but because I don't think I could have lived with just one slice).
It would however, freak me out if I caught her pouring like Weight Gainer into my salad dressing so I feel pretty bad for you. I wouldn't say anything to her because it's just my personality to dump the coffee out when she wasn't looking andpour myself a new cup. If she questioned it I would say "tasted alittle funny". Then I would keep my eye on all the food prep or prep it myself until we parted ways.
If you have the kind of relationship with your mom where you know she won't be hurt or defensive by being caught with her hand in the, uh..on the heavy cream then tell her she's busted.

LTGPSA

My husband, who has lost half a person already and is very food conscious now, will be like "Hey, you want a poptart? I'm craving a poptart, but I don't want to eat both," right after he just watched me eat my sandwich and fruit cup for lunch. And when I say no he won't eat it and then will try to make me feel bad for not eating half of the poptart by saying stuff like "Well, guess they'll just sit up there and gather dust then." Seriously, wtf? I ended up throwing them out.

Also, his work rotation is that he goes out to the field for three days and comes home for three, right (Air Force)? Every day he travels in he wants to go out to eat. Ok, I'm fine with that. I've gotten to where I can ignore the appetizer of chicken tenders he always orders and eat my salad or the low cal food item they have on the menu. What I hate is that when he goes to pay (we always go to Perkins), he always buys one of the pies (a whole one) from the display case and it just sits in the fridge! He'll only eat a piece of it and then be all "Wow, that's really filling. Better only have it once a week," but he doesn't eat the rest! Weeks later, I usually end up throwing it out because it just sits there, staring me in the face.

I mean, I understand he can have his treats because he is totally fit and a dedicated runner now, but have a little consideration for the poor chick still struggling, you know? And, yes, I told him my frustrations and he was all "Sorry, won't happen again." ...And yet it still does. All I can say is I got so much will power I could use it to build a new Great Wall. xD

If you can do so without being tempted, cut the remaining pie into individual servings, wrap and freeze for when he returns home. Then remind him it's there so he doesn't buy another pie. Just a thought...:flowerforyou:

Motivation

Sounds like my entire family they live by the "you can eat whatever you want, just eat less of it" thing

overfences

Personally, I'd chuckle at the heavy cream because I prefer it -- it's much lower carb than milk!! Fat does not make you fat, people!

But as far as the lying & the sabotage... that's really, really messed up. What kind of parent would do that kind of thing?? I imagine your mom's got a serious case of jealousy. As a parent I can't even begin to comprehend acting that way.

From now on, take control of all your meals, ignore comments, and if the food isn't what you want, send it back or don't eat it. If she lies, just say, "No, that's not true, I saw you pour it" etc and leave it at that.

Make sure to often comment about how happy you are, how much you love your life, how great the diet is going... that should absolutely kill her.

Pink_Tina

If you can do so without being tempted, cut the remaining pie into individual servings, wrap and freeze for when he returns home. Then remind him it's there so he doesn't buy another pie. Just a thought...:flowerforyou:

That is a good idea and I thank you for it. Will save some money. Thanks!