Just need to VENT and advice?

RhondaBagley

Find someone, anyone, to be a support. I suggest if you can't find anyone, hire a Personal Fitness trainer to help motivate and hold you accountable until you get past this bump. You CAN DO IT remember how good you feel AFTER each workout!

Misbehavin_Red

I posted this elsewhere, but I think it's a sound reminder....it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, and that's essentially what we're all trying to do here (regardless of what our fitness goals are!). Be kind to yourself as you try to work your way up through those 21 days, and I swear, it'll get easier as you go along!

Oh, and I KNOW we've all heard it before, but it didn't take overnight for those pounds to be gained, won't be overnight that they go away either!

jjh5351

I am going through the same thing you are. I got off the wagon, had lost almost 20 lbs but then stopped doing what I should be doing and I gained about 5 of it back. I am also getting married in October and want to not worry that my dress will be too tight. Last night I got home, planned out my workouts until the end of September. I'm training for a half marathon so that's my workouts for the next three months. I did my first run this morning, and am letting myself enjoy the rest of the holiday weekend, then tomorrow I am back on track with my eating and making sure I'm eating the right foods at the right portions. It's hard for me to cook for my fiance and make healthy things he likes, so I figure if I eat a healthy breakfast and a healthy lunch, I'll just allow myself to eat a normal dinner but in better portion sizes. At least that's what I think will work for me.

Good luck! The biggest thing is remembering WHY you are trying to lose the weight and keep going with that. It's hard but I got a total high off of constantly seeing the scale go down...and then it stopped

Thank you! It sounds like we're just about in the same place! I've been trying to do the healthy breakfast/lunch thing then eating a normal dinner, but it's so tempting to over eat! When are you getting married? Good luck to you too! It sounds like you're on an amazing track with starting the half training, I wish I could run, but this time of year with allergies its next to impossible!

titsnstuff

Great advice lisab0319!!!

jjh5351

I recently switched jobs - in doing so, I completely changed my schedule (and routine). So, I understand how easy it is to fall off the wagon and how hard it is to climb back on. My best advice is to try and make some meals ahead of time and freeze them. That way when your boyfriend gets home from work, you can pull out a pre-portioned meal and eat something healthy with him even if he chooses to eat fast food or junk food. You can't change his eating habits or choices... you can only change your own.

Also, I know that I will want to eat more at the end of the day (this is a hold over from my days working 2nd shift), so I make sure I eat lighter through the day in order to accommodate the fact that I'll want to eat more later in the day. If you think you'll want to eat more later, eat lighter through the day so you'll have calories left.

As for working out, you could rent a workout dvd from the library or go to a second hand bookstore and buy a couple. If you live on an upper floor and are worried about bothering your neighbors, go down and ask them "Is it okay if I workout between 2-3pm? There may be extra noise coming from my house, but it'll only be for an hour or so". It shows that you respect them and they'll be happy about it.

Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it! I think we're all ravenous at night, so eating light through the day is a must. Do you have any examples of what you eat early in the day? I get stuck in the rut of frozen meals and protein shakes, so I always like to see what others like to eat.

That's a good idea with the neighbors, I'll go down and talk to her and see what she thinks! Thank you!

Christine1110

You can lose weight without exercise if you can squeeze it in...They say 70% of weightloss is diet! I stopped eating processed foods and sugar ( I do eat some fruits) and I lost about 20 pounds in less then 2 months, and I only walked. I have felt so good. I'm not saying I will never have any processed foods, but I will not eat many or not often. I'm using the glycemic index to keep my blood sugar from rising.



Good luck with your journey.

donna9089

I know my fiance knows that it is important to me to lose weight, so maybe getting him on board and letting him know what is important to me is the best solution.

Who knows? Maybe getting him on board with your program will benefit him as well as a side effect...

jjh5351

It is totally do-able. I am a vegetarian and my boyfriend was very meat and potato kinda guy. I never bugged him, never said anything, but since I do 80% of the cooking and never buy meat he simply stopped eating it while at home. After about a year he realized how little meat he eats now and is actually enjoying it. To encourage picky eaters don't say anything, but lead by example. Cook a yummy spinach and salmon dish and eat it. If it is the warm yummy thing ready to eat, your boyfriend will eat it to.
Just remember: cook it and they will eat.

He does love to eat... haha I'll try it and see how it goes. I bet you're right and that he will eat what I make... Or he can eat peanut butter!

jjh5351

#1 - You can do this!!!!! I understand the whole frustration thing, and it being hard to get motivated. I started out with my eating. I got rid of all of the junk, and ate clean while working out only a couple of times a week. Now that my eating is conquered, I am exercising six days a week, and am LOVING IT!!!

#2 - Talk to your man. Tell him why you want to get fit (not skinny, not "I want to look good in my gown"). Enlist his help!! If he is working crazy hours, and is stuffing his face with junk food late at night, it's probably safe to assume that he could also use some help in the fitness department. DO IT TOGETHER!!!! I moved 2,000 miles away from all of my family and friends, so I understand that it can be difficult to not have a support system. Start cooking healthier meals, banish the bulk of the junk food from your home. If he wants chips and candy, he is going to have to make the trip to buy it. Tell him that you don't want him to eat it around you because this is really important to you. If he truly realizes how this affects you, he will make changes (even if it means that he eats the same things before coming home)!!!

#3 - Joining the Y is a great idea!!

#4 - Apartment exercising - yes I have done it. If you want to do it - DO IT!!!! If your downstairs neighbors feel like the sky is falling, they will let you know, and you can modify your workout at that time. Don't let not knowing stop you!!! If you know them (even if you don't), you could always just go down and let them know, "Hey, I'm really focused on getting fit right now, and I would love to do workouts here at home! At the same time, I don't want to bother you. If it gets too loud, or if you ceiling is shaking, please let me know!!" That lets them know what you are doing, and maybe they won't care since they know you are exercising, and there isn't a live WWF smack down going on above them!!! LOL!!! Also, maybe finding out when they are at work, or what time they get up could be good too. If you are going to worry about it too much, you probably won't be motivated to do it, so either get past that, or go out and find another way to exercise!!!

You CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#2= GREAT! Love it! He always says that he wants to lose weight, but his job makes it so difficult. I will try to pack more meals for him and I got him a blender bottle for protein shakes. I hope that helps him. Also his new boss is very health focused so maybe that will rub off a bit!

#4- LOL!!! I'll let them know. We'll see what she thinks! Hopefully I can join the Y sooner than later and I don't have to worry about the neighbors!

jjh5351

Find someone, anyone, to be a support. I suggest if you can't find anyone, hire a Personal Fitness trainer to help motivate and hold you accountable until you get past this bump. You CAN DO IT remember how good you feel AFTER each workout!

Oh how I WISH I could afford a personal trainer! I'm going to post a few motivational things around my house. Especially "Remember how good you feel AFTER each workout" because it's so true.

jjh5351

I posted this elsewhere, but I think it's a sound reminder....it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, and that's essentially what we're all trying to do here (regardless of what our fitness goals are!). Be kind to yourself as you try to work your way up through those 21 days, and I swear, it'll get easier as you go along!

Oh, and I KNOW we've all heard it before, but it didn't take overnight for those pounds to be gained, won't be overnight that they go away either!

Oh yes, it's just that I was doing sooo well losing weight and I was so motivated, then when I'd start gaining, I just went back to old ways! I need to get a calendar and just start crossing off days to my 21 days away from my bad habits.

jjh5351

You can lose weight without exercise if you can squeeze it in...They say 70% of weightloss is diet! I stopped eating processed foods and sugar ( I do eat some fruits) and I lost about 20 pounds in less then 2 months, and I only walked. I have felt so good. I'm not saying I will never have any processed foods, but I will not eat many or not often. I'm using the glycemic index to keep my blood sugar from rising.



Good luck with your journey.

Thank you, that is very inspiring! I think walking is one of the best exercises out there. I found something on pinterest about how good walking is for you! Good luck to you too

jjh5351

I know my fiance knows that it is important to me to lose weight, so maybe getting him on board and letting him know what is important to me is the best solution.

Who knows? Maybe getting him on board with your program will benefit him as well as a side effect...

Haha that would be MARVELOUS! I did see something on Dr. Oz about the GOOD side effects of weight loss in men... Hmm

brneydgrlie

Look on Craigslist and see if anyone has an exercise bike they are looking to get rid of. I got mine for about $50, and it's pretty darn quiet. Or maybe some dumbbells. Some people even give stuff away for free, just because they don't want to have to move it.

Also, try to get out and do stuff that is community sponsored when your fiance is not home. It will help you get to know the area, and make friends safely. When we first got married, my husband went back to school and was gone most evenings. I was alone a lot, and also new to living in an unfamiliar state. I started going to stuff that was scheduled at the local library and Barnes and Noble. I met some people there that were involved in the local community arts center. That got me into taking pottery classes - and found out pottery is one of my passions. By going to the classes, I found out there was a farmers market/flea market across the street on weekends (a great place to walk - hello exercise, and shop for fresh veggies), as well as a community park that shows outdoor movies in the summertime... What I am trying to say is that each little step I took, snowballed into another thing. And each thing made it easier for me to be away from my family, and make *this place* feel more like my home.

I have a feeling that once you are not quite so homesick, it will be easier to self-motivate. Depression wreaks havoc on both the psyche and the waistline!

Re cooking, get your fiance involved. Put together a weekly menu using his input when you are home together. You can always start with the easier stuff, like soups, chili, or crock pot recipes. Just use fresh ingredients. Then freeze the portions. Let your fiance know that by doing this, you will not only eat healthier, but save a ton of $. Eating out is much more expensive than most people think - especially when done often.

jjh5351

Look on Craigslist and see if anyone has an exercise bike they are looking to get rid of. I got mine for about $50, and it's pretty darn quiet.

Also, try to get out and do stuff that is community sponsored when your fiance is not home. It will help you get to know the area, and make friends safely. When we first got married, my husband went back to school and was gone most evenings. I was alone a lot, and also new to living in an unfamiliar state. I started going to stuff that was scheduled at the local library and Barnes and Noble. I met some people there that were involved in the local community arts center. That got me into taking pottery classes - and found out pottery is one of my passions. By going to the classes, I found out there was a farmers market/flea market across the street on weekends (a great place to walk - hello exercise, and shop for fresh veggies), as well as a community park that shows outdoor movies in the summertime... What I am trying to say is that each little step I took, snowballed into another thing. And each thing made it easier for me to be away from my family, and make *this place* feel more like my home.

I have a feeling that once you are not quite so homesick, it will be easier to self-motivate. Depression wreaks havoc on both the psyche and the waistline!

Lots of very good ideas! I'll look into those I really want an elliptical, but I don't know if that would be loud or not!

345monahan

Now that you have finished school -- congratulations -- that was an amazing accomplishment! Can you now put that focus and energy into taking care of yourself? (I know, dieting is 90% mental preparation....getting to that point where you can start the journey).

I just celebrated 21 years of marriage and during that time I had gained 45 pounds my husband gained 50). Some from eating huge dinners for the first time in my life (like my husband always had), some because my life was so hectic that I had no time to exercise and take care of myself, and some because i made excuses for not taking care of myself. Each year, a little more was added to the pile.

I am on the weight loss journey -- it took a health issue to get me started (ever seen one of those CPAP machines for sleep apnea. That is what inspired me. Can you find something important to you -- like getting ready for that wedding day?

I have learned that the best way to manage those dinners is to prepare unprocessed foods at home. I always have in the freezer: steaks (portioned in 4 oz pieces), shrimp, and frozen chicken breast pieces. I make huge salads of mixed greens and bag them in the refridge so they are ready when needed. I also keep stuff I can chop into salads....and berries, apples, oranges, etc. So is I am ever hungry -- I am ready.

Dinner includes meat (my husband gets 2 portions, I get one), salad or a veggie, and I make him a potato if he wants it. If I am home at lunch, I make a salad and thaw out some of those frozen breast pieces to toss on top.

I do most of my exercise at home.....walking the hilliest parts of our town. I pack my Ipod Nano with exercise playlist of fast beat music that I really like. (The Nano also works as a pedometer..and I want to beat my best record)

You have a wonderful life ahead of you....education completed and about to marry your love. Love yourself as much as you love your fiancee. When I started my weight loss is realized I needed to care for myself the way I care for my daughter. That concept really helped me.

You can do this!

SRH7

I really sympathise with you on so many levels I have asthma, live in an apartment and have a skinny boyfriend who is active so seems to be able to eat whatever he wants). My thoughts...

1. It's a bit worrying that you think your asthma might stop you from doing some exercises when you are so young. I know I'm probably preaching to the converted, but getting your asthma under control is so important and not just for when you are exercising. Check with your doctor/nurse whether there are other options (increased dosages, different meds etc). I was struggling last year, having been on a reliever inhaler (Ventolin) since I was a child. I went for a full check-up, reversibility test (to check lung function) and now also use a steroid preventative inhaler and a tablet to prevent nasal drip (yukky, but has really helped!). I just make sure I have two puffs on the Ventolin 15 minutes before starting exercise and then use it as much as needed throughout. Lots of top athletes have asthma, including David Beckham, and exercise will really help.

2. I love the Jillian Michaels DVD 30 Day Shred (search for it on these forums and you will see why!). It's 25 minutes long, you just need two hand weights (tins of beans are fine when you start) and you don't need much space at all to do it. Admittedly you have to do jumping jacks, which is noisy for neighbours below. When my neighbour isn't in, I do the jumping jacks as noisily as I like! When he is in, I just jog on the spot. Up to now he hasn't complained - I just make sure it is during reasonable hours. You could even knock on your neighbour's door to let them know if they hear any noise that you don't mind them telling you.

3. When I met my boyfriend I not only gained an amazing partner... but I also gained an amazing amount of weight! When he's not here I'm really good and when he's here I eat like a horse! My tactic? Make up big batches of food to freeze and refrigerate at the weekends or one evening a week. The fastest fast food is food that goes in the microwave and is ready in five minutes! Make sure you have a smaller portion than him (fill up the rest of your plate with salad and extra veg) and hunt the internet for simple recipes of lower calorie versions of food that you both like. It's also good for your budget as buying in bulk will save you money.

And finally... any time it gets too much or you need to have a shout, come on to MFP! And get yourself a good group of friends on here - MFP friends are worth their weight in gold!

jjh5351

Now that you have finished school -- congratulations -- that was an amazing accomplishment! Can you now put that focus and energy into taking care of yourself? (I know, dieting is 90% mental preparation....getting to that point where you can start the journey).

I just celebrated 21 years of marriage and during that time I had gained 45 pounds my husband gained 50). Some from eating huge dinners for the first time in my life (like my husband always had), some because my life was so hectic that I had no time to exercise and take care of myself, and some because i made excuses for not taking care of myself. Each year, a little more was added to the pile.

I am on the weight loss journey -- it took a health issue to get me started (ever seen one of those CPAP machines for sleep apnea. That is what inspired me. Can you find something important to you -- like getting ready for that wedding day?

I have learned that the best way to manage those dinners is to prepare unprocessed foods at home. I always have in the freezer: steaks (portioned in 4 oz pieces), shrimp, and frozen chicken breast pieces. I make huge salads of mixed greens and bag them in the refridge so they are ready when needed. I also keep stuff I can chop into salads....and berries, apples, oranges, etc. So is I am ever hungry -- I am ready.

Dinner includes meat (my husband gets 2 portions, I get one), salad or a veggie, and I make him a potato if he wants it. If I am home at lunch, I make a salad and thaw out some of those frozen breast pieces to toss on top.

I do most of my exercise at home.....walking the hilliest parts of our town. I pack my Ipod Nano with exercise playlist of fast beat music that I really like. (The Nano also works as a pedometer..and I want to beat my best record)

You have a wonderful life ahead of you....education completed and about to marry your love. Love yourself as much as you love your fiancee. When I started my weight loss is realized I needed to care for myself the way I care for my daughter. That concept really helped me.

You can do this!

Thank you for all of the advice! Yes, I do know what a CPAP is because my dad is a respiratory therapist, so I know how incredibly difficult it is to get your life back together when a doctor prescribes one! Kudos to you, though, CPAPs are no fun. Do you have an app on your nano that allows you to use it as a pedometer? I have an iphone so I'm wondering if there is a similar app!

jjh5351

I really sympathise with you on so many levels I have asthma, live in an apartment and have a skinny boyfriend who is active so seems to be able to eat whatever he wants). My thoughts...

1. It's a bit worrying that you think your asthma might stop you from doing some exercises when you are so young. I know I'm probably preaching to the converted, but getting your asthma under control is so important and not just for when you are exercising. Check with your doctor/nurse whether there are other options (increased dosages, different meds etc). I was struggling last year, having been on a reliever inhaler (Ventolin) since I was a child. I went for a full check-up, reversibility test (to check lung function) and now also use a steroid preventative inhaler and a tablet to prevent nasal drip (yukky, but has really helped!). I just make sure I have two puffs on the Ventolin 15 minutes before starting exercise and then use it as much as needed throughout. Lots of top athletes have asthma, including David Beckham, and exercise will really help.

2. I love the Jillian Michaels DVD 30 Day Shred (search for it on these forums and you will see why!). It's 25 minutes long, you just need two hand weights (tins of beans are fine when you start) and you don't need much space at all to do it. Admittedly you have to do jumping jacks, which is noisy for neighbours below. When my neighbour isn't in, I do the jumping jacks as noisily as I like! When he is in, I just jog on the spot. Up to now he hasn't complained - I just make sure it is during reasonable hours. You could even knock on your neighbour's door to let them know if they hear any noise that you don't mind them telling you.

3. When I met my boyfriend I not only gained an amazing partner... but I also gained an amazing amount of weight! When he's not here I'm really good and when he's here I eat like a horse! My tactic? Make up big batches of food to freeze and refrigerate at the weekends or one evening a week. The fastest fast food is food that goes in the microwave and is ready in five minutes! Make sure you have a smaller portion than him (fill up the rest of your plate with salad and extra veg) and hunt the internet for simple recipes of lower calorie versions of food that you both like. It's also good for your budget as buying in bulk will save you money.

And finally... any time it gets too much or you need to have a shout, come on to MFP! And get yourself a good group of friends on here - MFP friends are worth their weight in gold!

My asthma is actually allergy aggravated, so I can do indoor exercises without a problem for the most part, but since it's only seasonal I don't want to start on steroids (neither does my doctor) or anything like that. Once I join the Y I could maybe do C25K but honestly- I don't see much point in running. Walking has almost, if not, all of the benefits that running does without the joint pain, I'm not too worried about "not being able to do anything" because I think that exercise is something quite personal to the person who is doing it! That being said- Jillian Michaels and I have been friends for awhile, if you can call it "friends". Haha! I have ripped in 30 (do NOT recommend that before doing 30DS!) and 30DS and I love/hate them both! I'm going on vacation in a little over a week so I probably won't be starting those soon, but I would love to start doing them after! Did you lose pounds doing 30DS? I mostly lost inches doing it last time, which was a little frustrating, but I know that I was building lean muscle!

bergin71

I have had good luck with elastic band resistance workouts. They don't take up any space, are inexpensive and are better for your joints than using free weights. Here is a link to the company I bought mine from: http://www.bodylastics.com/

Good Luck!