Where do you draw the line with flirting?

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  • LiddyBit
    LiddyBit Posts: 447 Member
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    I just wanted to say, I HATE IT when people act like girls are just hysterical as a matter of course. No, girls are not crazy. We have legitimate concerns and it is okay for us to have expectations about how we are treated.

    Please read this - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yashar-hedayat/a-message-to-women-from-a_1_b_958859.html
    Men and women alike should take a look at it.
  • TanyaCurtis
    TanyaCurtis Posts: 630
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    You know what happened when some chick through his work hit on my husband via email?

    He came home screaming "WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?!!!!!"

    And the only time he tells me some girl is "so adorable" is when he's talking about our neice.


    Find someone who is honest and wants to be with YOU



    Yes this, SO CUTE! This would be my hubby... There are GREAT men out there.... u just gotta find them (:
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    Sounds like a red flag to me.

    Sorry for telling you this but you need a straightforward answer. Your boyfriend isn't really into you, doesn't like you nor has feelings for you & is just keeping you around until he finds someone else that he really likes. In other words, you're a "good for now" girl to him & he doesn't see you as a long time gf/wife potential. Because obviously what he is doing is unhealthy despite being aware of how this has been affecting you. Flirting can be OK as long as it is not affecting your relationship. There's nothing wrong with appreciating other people's looks, after all we are human, but if he is constantly being like that then clearly there is something wrong with your relationship. No loving guy has the nerve to compare their gf from other women & say things like "she's more adorable than you" straight to their gf's faces.

    "His friend told him to shut up because he was taken he said 'oh uh not in that way!' to cover himself up", got this from your orig post. Wake up & don't let this jerk use you for his selfishness, obviously he doesn't love you. You better leave him NOW, AHORA MISMO while you can still manage it. I've been there many times & it just ended up me hurting a lot. It took me a long time to heal.
  • enyo123
    enyo123 Posts: 172 Member
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    I'm a huge flirt. Huge. I flirt with men and women equally, even though I'm strictly into men. It's just my nature.

    However, what he's doing? No. That's not flirting. That's being a jerk to you. That's him keeping his options open while keeping you around at the same time. I'd drop him like a bad habit.
  • enyo123
    enyo123 Posts: 172 Member
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    So I'm not just being crazy, paranoid?

    I thought that maybe he was just ignorant and doesn't realize that it's the wrong thing to do & doesn't mean to hurt me on purpose..

    No. He's a douche.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    If I read correctly from what you wrote he even tells you that "she's more adorable than you". That just seems blatantly disrespectful.

    I agree & not only is disrespectful but its even hurtful to know that your boyfriend is comparing you with someone else. Honestly I would slap him on his face if ever he does that to me. Obviously this guy isn't into you & is just keeping you for the meantime until he finds somebody else. There are plenty of better guys out there who are more deserving, all you have to do is to wait for the right time.
  • enyo123
    enyo123 Posts: 172 Member
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    Why do people make these threads?

    Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...

    He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....

    *sigh*

    It doesn't matter what his perspective is, though. If she feels that he's treating her as she describes, she shouldn't be with him anyway.
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
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    So I'm not just being crazy, paranoid?

    I thought that maybe he was just ignorant and doesn't realize that it's the wrong thing to do & doesn't mean to hurt me on purpose..

    You are neither crazy nor paranoid. And if he is "just ignorant" you can find someone far more intelligent to spend time with.
  • enyo123
    enyo123 Posts: 172 Member
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    Why do people make these threads?

    Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...

    He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....

    *sigh*

    If she's telling the truth, the folks are right. And if it were to turn out instead that she's just pyscho-jealous, then the folks are doing *him* a favor without knowing it. Win/win eh? :)

    lol this is true! Win-win either way. But I mean that's the thing, maybe in someone else's context a bit of harmless flirting IS fine - that's why I want advice!

    From a self-admitted flirt, I'll tell you right now that this is not harmless.

    I had a co-worker that I flirted with daily, and he flirted back. He was my "work husband," and to this day, we hug each other whenever we bump into each other. The difference between my flirting and your guy's flirting? 1.) My husband didn't have a problem with it because he knew perfectly well that he's the only one that I want to go home to. 2.) I never, ever compared this guy to my husband... and said that he was better in any way.

    What he's doing is just plain cruel. He's not the only one who's "been hurt before." Most people have. That doesn't make it okay to use it as an excuse to treat you like crap. He's prowling for a "better model" and keeping you around out of convenience.
  • Julz2586
    Julz2586 Posts: 1,337 Member
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    "A Boy makes his girl jealous of other women, a MAN makes other women jealous of his Girl!" :wink:

    Sounds like you need to ditch the boy and find a man!

    I LIKE THIS!!!
  • driaxx
    driaxx Posts: 314 Member
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    You know what happened when some chick through his work hit on my husband via email?

    He came home screaming "WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?!!!!!"

    And the only time he tells me some girl is "so adorable" is when he's talking about our neice.


    Find someone who is honest and wants to be with YOU



    Yes this, SO CUTE! This would be my hubby... There are GREAT men out there.... u just gotta find them (:

    I agree!! That's the greatest reaction!
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
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    Why do people make these threads?

    Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...

    He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....

    *sigh*

    It doesn't matter what his perspective is, though. If she feels that he's treating her as she describes, she shouldn't be with him anyway.

    His perspective does not matter at all? I don't know much about OP, but it has been known to happen that people will post a distorted view of a situation, seeking sympathy, just to reinforce their faulty position. Maybe she is doing some damage in the relationship. Maybe this guy is completely in the right. Maybe he would be better off without her.

    Sorry, I just don't buy that his perspective is irrelevant.
  • gabbingfilly
    gabbingfilly Posts: 106 Member
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    Why do people make these threads?

    Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...

    He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....

    *sigh*

    It doesn't matter what his perspective is, though. If she feels that he's treating her as she describes, she shouldn't be with him anyway.

    His perspective does not matter at all? I don't know much about OP, but it has been known to happen that people will post a distorted view of a situation, seeking sympathy, just to reinforce their faulty position. Maybe she is doing some damage in the relationship. Maybe this guy is completely in the right. Maybe he would be better off without her.

    Sorry, I just don't buy that his perspective is irrelevant.

    Even if that were the case that he felt like she was "damaging" the relationship, two wrongs do NOT make a right! What he is doing according to her is completely out of line and uncalled for. Especially if she in fact asked him not to do it in the first place being that it caused her to have hurt feelings.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
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    Even if that were the case that he felt like she was "damaging" the relationship, two wrongs do NOT make a right! What he is doing according to her is completely out of line and uncalled for. Especially if she in fact asked him not to do it in the first place being that it caused her to have hurt feelings.

    I never said two wrongs make a right, as though he was doing this as a way to get back at her. So far, we have just seen one side of the story, and it may be COMPLETELY inaccurate, which is my point.
  • comogirl
    comogirl Posts: 154 Member
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    Let me start by saying that I 100% think that you have a right to be angry. But even if I didn't, the bottom line is do you want to be with a man that doesnt care enough about your feelings to continue doing something that makes you uncomfortable? Weather he thinks what he is doing is wrong or not you do. Bottom line. Your partner should respect your feelings, wishes, and needs at all costs or the relationship will never work. So weather or not he thinks its wrong, you think its wrong, any of us think its wrong, do you want to be with someone that doesnt respect you? Your opinion on this should be accepted even if he doesnt agree.
  • comogirl
    comogirl Posts: 154 Member
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    Why do people make these threads?

    Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...

    He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....

    *sigh*

    It doesn't matter what his perspective is, though. If she feels that he's treating her as she describes, she shouldn't be with him anyway.
    Yes! Weather right or wrong if you are feeling like this find someone who wont make you feel like this. It wont work if you dont.
  • driaxx
    driaxx Posts: 314 Member
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    Even if that were the case that he felt like she was "damaging" the relationship, two wrongs do NOT make a right! What he is doing according to her is completely out of line and uncalled for. Especially if she in fact asked him not to do it in the first place being that it caused her to have hurt feelings.

    I never said two wrongs make a right, as though he was doing this as a way to get back at her. So far, we have just seen one side of the story, and it may be COMPLETELY inaccurate, which is my point.

    Possibly, but then again that would make this totally redundant so I hope it's not my skewed perspective.
  • driaxx
    driaxx Posts: 314 Member
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    Why do people make these threads?

    Then you have all these people chiming in go...Dump him...

    He doesn't get a chance to speak or say what is the truth or lie in the OP's Statements....

    *sigh*

    It doesn't matter what his perspective is, though. If she feels that he's treating her as she describes, she shouldn't be with him anyway.
    Yes! Weather right or wrong if you are feeling like this find someone who wont make you feel like this. It wont work if you dont.

    I guess you're right.. If one or both of us aren't happy there's no point. I guess we're due for a long chat!
  • focus4fitness
    focus4fitness Posts: 551 Member
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    Why would you be with someone who is telling other people that he likes them?
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
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    If my guy said another girl was cuter than me ... GAH! WTF?!?
    I mean, that's just something you DON'T say!!!!!