Is it wrong that I have noticed more female attention ?

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  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    No, just don't act on it.
  • Wraiythe
    Wraiythe Posts: 786 Member
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    It is totally alright to use it as motivation! So long as you remember that you are on a "Diet" you can look at the "Menu" and enjoy it as much as you want! It never hurts to know that what you are working so hard to do is working and people commenting on it and giving you compliments is the best motivator there is!
  • djtessatessa
    djtessatessa Posts: 54 Member
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    The lads will just give back hand comments(especially friends), girls seem to be more genuine.

    I wouldn't get carried away, I have never cheated on any g/f and never intend to, I love her to bits been with her for a long time.

    But I was also very shy when younger and lacked confidence so the girls would normally make a b-line for my friends so I find it quite interesting. One told me I had nice legs that has never happened before!!!!!!

    My wife doesn't really comment, or has given me any other 'attention', once I think she said something.

    your wife sees you every day it might be hard for her to see the results.

    sounds like there are some deeper issues here.
  • chrisb75
    chrisb75 Posts: 395 Member
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    Attention goes both ways...and if she senses this attitude, well then....compliments are really hard to give.

    When your motivation is to look good to "others"..rather than your SO.....that's when the problem developes.

    Don't give me that "Women are so quick to judge!" line.........he put it out there.

    Go look at my profile. There is two people I do this for other than myself. My kids and My Ashley. I don't even think about doing it for anyone else, because Ashley is all the support I need and gives me more attention than I need :). However, in a past life I was married to someone who no matter what I did, either for myself or for her, never gave me any compliments, never made me feel wanted. All I am saying is the fact that he is using OTHER female attention tells me there is more going on at home than he is ready to admit. As I said...been known to happen.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    It's nice to be appreciated by the opposite sex. I don't see it as bad motivation. My husband kinda takes it as a compliment when other men stare at me.
  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
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    I hope not!

    I am also happily married with no thought or inclination to stray.

    And, I am not what one might call "attractive"! (Never have been)

    But, with the weight loss and the muscle toning from the weights over the last few months. I have noticed more interest from the female of the species. Perhaps it is just some form of delusion? ! What ever the reason, I am enjoying the attention and it is definitely a motivator for keeping up the work.
  • NeverGoinBack2012
    NeverGoinBack2012 Posts: 49
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    I compliment people all the time (male or female) when they achieve their weight loss goals. It is a matter of admiration, not physical attraction.

    My husband rarely gives me compliments either...I do find it disappointing. But I'm learning that people who struggle with their own self-worth and value are not capable of giving compliments in the genuine sense. My husband has some issues with that. I decided this weight loss journey was going to be my own when I got no support from him or saw any interest from him to join me. He has high blood pressure and abdominal fat. As we get older, it gets harder and harder to lose weight.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    As my mother says, "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, just as long as you come home for dinner".

    that is AWESOME!

    ETA: I always say "Just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu!"
  • lcchrt
    lcchrt Posts: 234 Member
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    Everyone enjoys getting some attention from the opposite sex. It makes you feel attractive. As long as you aren't flirting back, your good to go :)
  • mathgirl
    mathgirl Posts: 61 Member
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    Why would you want her to feel jealous? Jealousy is a painful feeling and if you love her to bits you wouldnt want that. I bet you just want her to give you more attention. Tellher.
  • mommyred35
    mommyred35 Posts: 282 Member
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    As my mother says, "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite, just as long as you come home for dinner".

    This^^^^^^^^
  • foot2wood
    foot2wood Posts: 149 Member
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    My wife doesn't really comment, or has given me any other 'attention', once I think she said something.
    This might be a problem, if anything.
    Maybe she needs to NOTICE you like the other women do. I'd say it feels great, but don't take the bait and give into it. Hopefully your wife/gf will notice this new attention you're getting and that sometimes will wake her up.
  • korsicash
    korsicash Posts: 770 Member
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    I am married and loyal as well but I get a kick out of the look from something as they see something they can not have. And the evil bad girl in me thought it hilarious when a married man obviously gave me the once over to be promptly slapped by his wife. (I did not provoke this once over I was walking back from a rest room to go sit at the table with my friends and husband) We are all human and by nature we like to feel wanted. I say enjoy as long you do not partake....my husband and I are okay with one another reading the menu so to say as long as neither of us orders. We know who we go home with. Just because you admire does not mean you are cheating.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    yeah I wanted to the know the same thing.

    Please tell me that since you have started changing for the better, both physically and mentally- that your wife is the one girl giving you more positive attention than anyone else. Please tell me she is tearing your clothes off and high fiving you.
  • EpiGaiaRepens
    EpiGaiaRepens Posts: 824 Member
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    no way! It's not like you're cheating. Having people look at you and give you posivibes is totally ok (in my opinion) as long as you aren't playing the field or whatever.

    My bf loves me no matter what. And he is the one I care about most. But he would tell me I'm beautiful regardless of my figure (cuz you know thats how love is!). So when random stranger tells me I look good, or coworker comments that I'm getting buff, I feel super good about that because they don't "love" me and they aren't blinded by that love.

    It might sound dumb, but it's true. My BF saying i'm gorgeous means the most to me. But strangers saying it is what i think is more objectively true. hahahaha!
  • EpiGaiaRepens
    EpiGaiaRepens Posts: 824 Member
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    and, for the record, i catch women checking my BF on the regular. It makes me say to him "see, honey! You're a total catch! I'm not just saying that *kitten*!"
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
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    Nope not at all, the actions of others are not your responsibility.
  • Linbo93
    Linbo93 Posts: 229 Member
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    You've worked hard for that attention! There is nothing wrong with enjoying it! I would never hold that against my SO! As long as you don't act on the attention, you are doing nothing wrong! Enjoy!
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    I don't see anything wrong with it, and to those who cried "jerk" right off the bat are overreacting. Yes, it could have been worded differently, but if you're not receiving the kind of attention or appreciation you deserve, then yeah those are the kind of feelings that come across. My wife is the one out there beaming to her friends etc about my weight loss. That's what a true spouse should be doing....not only applauding your effort, but showing their appreciation to your friends etc. \m/
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I don't see anything wrong with it, and to those who cried "jerk" right off the bat are overreacting. Yes, it could have been worded differently, but if you're not receiving the kind of attention or appreciation you deserve, then yeah those are the kind of feelings that come across. My wife is the one out there beaming to her friends etc about my weight loss. That's what a true spouse should be doing....not only applauding your effort, but showing their appreciation to your friends etc. \m/

    she should be licking you.

    I mean in general. the spouse. of a person whois taking charge of their life and changing their body and mind over completely and stuff. licking. not you in particular.

    shutting up

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