Compliments

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maab_connor
maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
in Motivation and Support
Here's the thing, I'm seeing a lot of it lately, those of us who are quite literally working our *kitten* off can't take compliments. I include myself in this. And ppl as a species (with a few notable exceptions) cannot verbalize what we mean very well.

I know that we spend so long not happy w/ how we look, that we build up a thick skin to every comment or look that we just THINK is judgemental. we're so busy judging ourselves for so long, that we simply ASSUME that everyone else is too. we spend so long there that when we come out of it, I think we're still stuck in the "what's THAT supposed to mean??" anger.

how do we move through this? how do we get to a place of accepting compliments and words of encouragement from strangers? I think that's a HUGE part of this. that's the mental half of it. the physical is hard work. but so is the mental.

so here's what i've tried to do - and maybe it won't work for you, but it works for me - I ask myself how I would take the comment if it was said by my mom. or my best friend. whoever it is in your life who tells you the ABSOLUTE truth even when it sucks. put those words in their mouth in your head and hear it again.

I think that ppl as a whole are happy to see someone succeed... well, most ppl. some ppl just suck. but for the MOST part, ppl are trying to be encouraging. even when the words they choose are... not the best.

try to hear the intent. try to hear the positive. b/c that's the place we're all heading, right?
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Replies

  • 76tech
    76tech Posts: 1,455 Member
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    :flowerforyou:

    Awesome post.
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
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    This is exactly right. Beautiful, maab. :flowerforyou:
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,267 Member
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    AtotheMEN!
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
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    Love it!
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I like this post, and I agree. Generally, people have good intentions, and the world is a happier place if we accept that fact and believe that they mean us well.
  • chm2616
    chm2616 Posts: 434 Member
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    love your post! great attitude! :bigsmile:
  • Amo_Angelus
    Amo_Angelus Posts: 604 Member
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    I agree wholeheartedly with this
  • JoyousRen
    JoyousRen Posts: 3,823 Member
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    Maab. You rock.
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,015 Member
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    :heart:
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    I do agree but it just occured to me that if someone is proud of me for losing weight , were they ashamed when I was heavier?
  • Expialidojess
    Expialidojess Posts: 588 Member
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    Maab, FTW! :flowerforyou:
  • smilingchica
    smilingchica Posts: 279 Member
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    Such an encouraging post because as someone that has been heavy all my life, I STRUGGLE with receiving compliments!!! MFP has been a crucial part of changing this behavior because it's essentially complete strangers being let into your healthy eating/exercise behaviors and making comments on the good, the ba and the ugly.

    Thanks Maab for this sweet post :flowerforyou:
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Maab I give you the absolute highest of compliments in whatever form is acceptable to you.

    :flowerforyou:
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    I do agree but it just occured to me that if someone is proud of me for losing weight , were they ashamed when I was heavier?

    if you're proud of Michael Phelps for winning a gold - were you ashamed when he walked up to the pool?
  • afigueroa_pr
    afigueroa_pr Posts: 344
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    Family Guy quote:

    -I saw your picture in Scientific American. You looked great!

    -Oh please where my face was half asleep?

    -Ugh, Just take the damn compliment!!

    LOL
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    I do agree but it just occured to me that if someone is proud of me for losing weight , were they ashamed when I was heavier?

    if you're proud of Michael Phelps for winning a gold - were you ashamed when he walked up to the pool?

    haha good point
  • trijoe
    trijoe Posts: 729 Member
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    I do agree but it just occured to me that if someone is proud of me for losing weight , were they ashamed when I was heavier?

    I say, "No." They see the weight loss and somewhere in their heads, they realize it took a lot of hard work to make that happen. They're recognizing the achievement (weight loss) while also recognizing the effort it took to get there.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
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    That's how my negative brain works, too. Kinda sad. Should just enjoy the compliments. :-)
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
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    it's simple: learn to say "thank you"
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    I do agree but it just occured to me that if someone is proud of me for losing weight , were they ashamed when I was heavier?

    I say, "No." They see the weight loss and somewhere in their heads, they realize it took a lot of hard work to make that happen. They're recognizing the achievement (weight loss) while also recognizing the effort it took to get there.


    I can see that

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