Compliments

Annette_rose · May 2012

Wonderful post!!! For me, I was married for 16 years to a man who constantly cut me down, told me how fat I was etc. I kind of allowed it to be ingrained within me that all he spoke was truth. I still struggle with compliments and trying to learn to just say "thank you" and not feel guilty. I have a very poor body image and what I see in the mirror is apparently not what others see. It is a fault I am trying hard to conquer but man is it hard!!!!

10acity · May 2012

Wonderful post!!! For me, I was married for 16 years to a man who constantly cut me down, told me how fat I was etc. I kind of allowed it to be ingrained within me that all he spoke was truth. I still struggle with compliments and trying to learn to just say "thank you" and not feel guilty. I have a very poor body image and what I see in the mirror is apparently not what others see. It is a fault I am trying hard to conquer but man is it hard!!!!

Wow... I just have to say you are one PRETTY lady!

BCsurvivor1962 · May 2012

I am in!

Ralphrabbit · May 2012

I agree but it's hard to accept compliments when you have been so hard on yourself for so long & may not yet be where you want to get to. It is something we need to learn how to do while also learning what not to stick in our mouths......

GermanicKnight · May 2012

I do agree but it just occured to me that if someone is proud of me for losing weight , were they ashamed when I was heavier?

if you're proud of Michael Phelps for winning a gold - were you ashamed when he walked up to the pool?

You KICK *kitten*!! We have to be friends! Great post an even better analogy!

Annette_rose · May 2012

Wonderful post!!! For me, I was married for 16 years to a man who constantly cut me down, told me how fat I was etc. I kind of allowed it to be ingrained within me that all he spoke was truth. I still struggle with compliments and trying to learn to just say "thank you" and not feel guilty. I have a very poor body image and what I see in the mirror is apparently not what others see. It is a fault I am trying hard to conquer but man is it hard!!!!

Wow... I just have to say you are one PRETTY lady!

Thanks so much. I appreciate your kind words. I am trying to get to the point of loving myself for who I am. I think joining MFP has been one of the best things for me. I am enjoying it more than my Facebook lately, lol. I still wish MFP would get a "like" button though

Annette_rose · May 2012

I agree but it's hard to accept compliments when you have been so hard on yourself for so long & may not yet be where you want to get to. It is something we need to learn how to do while also learning what not to stick in our mouths......

So true!!!

TrophyWifeSass · May 2012

This is hard for me and I really need to work on it. I would much rather encourage others. Oddly the negative crap I seem to hear and the compliments I don't know what to do with.

downsizinghoss · May 2012

Yeah, this is a hard one to get past. I "know" the truth about me. Everyone is just being nice.
If they knew me better they would change their minds.

I realize that is crap, but that is the mind-set. Fake it til you make it though.

papergirl22 · May 2012

This is hard for me and I really need to work on it. I would much rather encourage others. Oddly the negative crap I seem to hear and the compliments I don't know what to do with.

Hmm...sounds familiar. Let's practice 'thanks...I've worked my *kitten* off and I appreciate the validation that it's paying off'.

SueSlick · May 2012

wonderful post maab! I actually find it easier to accept the complements on here, because I don't know you all personally. In real life...that's another story. I was also married to a controlling shthead who liked to keep me under his thumb. Once you have been put down for a while it is difficult to see yourself any other way. I feel fortunate to have found another man who loves & supports me...but I deserve it. I think we all do! Keep up the good work everybody...you all ROCK!!!

HowieTwoPointZero · May 2012

Yeah, this is a hard one to get past. I "know" the truth about me. Everyone is just being nice.
If they knew me better they would change their minds.

I realize that is crap, but that is the mind-set. Fake it til you make it though.

I spent most of my time on the planet trying to know the truth about me. If I still don't have a clue about it, most other people don't.

I also think what Yoovie said is true, hubris is a fickle mistress. I Did this post on my Facebook about how on January 1st I claimed 2012 was going to be my year. I then posted two weeks ago that I had lost 50 pounds, major promotion at my day job, and the start up I'm involved in was really taking off. The next day, Car destroyed. Fate plays wack a mole with us and we are always flinching under the weight of the mallet.

When I get a complement from a total stranger, in person, on how I look, not knowing I'm losing weight, not knowing anything about me other then what they see right in front of them, maybe I'll buy into it. Most likely though I'll crack a lame *kitten* joke move on.

Then again I've said it before. I'm here to get fit enough to not be hindered in some life things, not to get sexy. I wouldn't know what the hell to do with sexy if I had it. I spent my entire life building comedy routines on self depreciating humor because of my looks, cause honestly in the long run, looks mean so damn little for how much we value them.

yoovie · May 2012

Everyone gets mad that everyone is mean on MFP.
Everyone gets mad that people compliment them on their weight loss.
Everyone gets mad when people are proud of them.

THis teaches me that people who arent as fit as they want to be, just really like getting mad.

wells0707 · May 2012

Personally, when I get a compliment it makes my day. Or at least my morning or evening. It's a little awkward while you are receiving the compliment, but as soon as I walk away I jump up and click my heals together.