The preaching has got to stop

KZOsMommy

Very nicely said!!!

I have to say that one of the first times I posted a question I did get a lot of change the way you eat (even though I was eating a mighty clean diet as my kids have MAJOR food allergies) and it was not nicely put. But I have to tell you as much as it hurt my feelings at first and made me want to go eat some junk food it really made me think.

But I agree there are some people that would take what is said and just think they can't do it and give up. I do my best to be positive and not push what I do on others. I have to allow myself to eat some kind of junk around TOM or else I would eat myself into a deep hole that would be hard to get out of lol.

Thank you for speaking your mind and so kindly at that :flowerforyou:

Amanda

hasiangirl

:sad: :sad: how'd u know?....but wait a second reccess was over 12 yrs ago...since then i've found my super powers...puppy dog eyes with just a single tear from EACH eye and say ..."puh-puh-pwease mista dont peg me with that nerf ball *sniffle*" hahaha the super power of being a female :bigsmile:

Right, super powers. Reality check, there is no Santa Clause or Easter Bunny.

:noway: :noway: :noway: what?!?!?!...:sad: YES THERE IS!!! ssanta got me a nice new pair of socks this year....:grumble: :grumble: :grumble: cheap pr*c.....k

FireMonkey

Oh, and PS... Jillian Michaels is an obnoxious, well paid entertainer. I am not impressed.

Yes! I got one of her tapes from the library and was totally turned off by her manner. She pointed to one of the very beautiful women who are modeling the exercises and said something like "work hard and you will look like this" - yeah, if I can grow ten inches while I'm at it and get a face transplant! And I wouldn't do anything until I puke, not eating, and not exercising.

Regarding the posts, I've got to agree with lots that has been said. Yes, some posts do sound very harsh, but, I don't have to internalize it. I'm working out with 20-year-olds in my karate club and I'm well aware that I can't compare myself with them. The only challenge is with myself. That's the same for changing my life-long couch potato habits. I'm taking baby steps because they work for me, and I celebrate every success no matter how small.

I also give people the benefit of the doubt - if they seem to be on a soapbox I'm considering that maybe they haven't got the maturity and the skill to put their points across in a way that doesn't turn others off. It will come with time and practice, and the feedback that started this thread is very valuable for this. Thanks, Pink!

healthychic

I didn't see the bulletin you posted prior to this one but I know what you mean about preaching. Everyone has their own way in doing things and people shouldn't nessecarily "preach" to you, but they should help IF you ask for it. Although the people who are telling you that eating clean is the best way to lose the weight fast, they are right, but you have to do what fits your lifestyle. I have found that for me it is a lot easier to just cut out ALL fastfood and leave in a few snacks but not to indulge in Chips Ahoy cookies but make healthier changes by eating 3 cookies at a time or eating the 100 calorie snacks instead. But that is just what works for me, you have to find your own special way that is helping you lose weight. However if what you are doing isn't working the way you want it to, I would take other people's advice especially people who have lost considerable amounts of weight. But you are right, everyone is on here for encouragment and uplift, however if you do ask for advice don't think you won't get any because you will!:happy:

Danielle

neenaleigh

Oh, and PS... Jillian Michaels is an obnoxious, well paid entertainer. I am not impressed.

:laugh: me like...

msarro

The clean living is an awesome end goal, but its not the only way to get there. In programming there is this guy who is important to meet, his name is TIM TOWTDI. Actually, it isn't a guy, its an acronym meaning "There is more than one way to do it." If you are looking to keep the same diet and just cut out stuff with chemicals, than go for it. It will work. Do it with exercise.

I started out that way myself. But then I started cutting out the chemicals, and I started feeling better and better.

Deniself

I agree with you
Everyone is different and needs to take things on at their pace. It takes a lot to change a habit- and that's what a lot of unhealthy choices are-bad habits we develope. It's like pushing a stalled car- if you are at the backa nd are pushing nad pushing to get the car moving ahead your deleriously happy with EVERY inch that car is moved foreward. Loosing weight, excersiing and being healthy in this Junk filled world our society has created is difficult and is a daily push to move foreward towards being healthy. No one shuold be belitted for every inch they move foreward.
My friend and I are being asccountable to each other for our weightloss- which is helping me emensly. Last month I was talking with her and I told her I had conquered the Vending machine at work-I wasn't back to the gym and my efforts at excersising were by now means even considered an effort yet - but she applauded me. She understood that for me I eat junk becusae I am frustrated and stressed out- my job does both to me on a daily basis. She asked when I replaced my vending machine visits with and I told her I had picked up some of the quaker 100calorie snacks and when I felt stressed and craved junk I had ONE of the snacks and logged in my daily food diary. I also started takign a break from whatever was frustrating me at the time- moved on to another issue then went back to the origional problem.
Little by little my bad habits are being consumed by good ones.
After the first month I saw how much more progress she had had by being more disciplined so this month I have stepped it up a notch- A NOTCH- not a gianormous leap because I already know nad understand myself and I will aim way way to high and not obtain it and spiral down into the same bad habits.
Progress, no matter how slow, is still progress. Just like support should be unconditional - especialy between people who are in the same boat.

hmo4

My name is Kathy, and I'm addicted to sugar....I agree with what some of what you've said. I have done a huge lifestyle change over the past 2 years, and have educated myself a TON since I've been off. I have given fitness/nutrition tips in the past, but only as a resource for some who don't seem to know. I hope I've never come across preachy, as I by far don't follow all the things I know about the body. I KNOW what sugar does to insulin, yatta yatta, but still can't give up my sweets. And then I think-do I even WANT to eat clean for the rest of my life? I've given up so much already to make changes (I'm a party girl at ), at what point do we sit back and enjoy life? So my last 10 pounds isn't coming off...(:sad: ), I know how to change, but I don't. Is it the lack of control that gets me so dissappointed, or is it the 10 lbs? I hope that with time change will happen, and we have to be there for each other in the good and bad times. After all, health and longevity is the goal for everyone, and I think that's what most people post for, not to make anyone annoyed. :drinker: Was that preachy? Didn't mean to be. :flowerforyou:

ilike2moveit

Pink -- I agree that the tone around here has been 'Drill Seargent' in nature, and it's offensive, even to someone like me whose been on the boards for some time. Chime in by all means, but do it in a manner that is supportive and not judgemental. There are those 'losers' who are going to want and need to go 'hardcore' at once in order to effect that change; others, not so much. It took a lifetime to learn bad habits and self-indulgence. Those bad habits don't leave overnight. If I had taken that hardcore approach immediately, I would have given up months ago.

Oh, and PS... Jillian Michaels is an obnoxious, well paid entertainer. I am not impressed.

I agree. I had to make a lifestyle change that I could live with. If I killed myself with exercise and cut out all "bad" foods I would have never lost the weight.

pettmybunny

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

If you are on diet drugs, and ASK everyones opinion, then expect it.
If you are ASKing what everyones opinion is on eating icecream toppings, then expect an honest response.

Gee, the ice cream topping thread was the one that popped into my head when I read this one too! Luvs ya Jeannie!

I personally backed away from posting for a while, just sticking to my favorite 2 or 3 threads for a while. You find a good group and stick with it. Now, I'm kinda dipping my toe into the forum pool again. Mostly lurking, but every now and then I see something and have to comment.

hmo4

Me too!

CasperO

My yogi / haematologist / nutritionist says ice cream toppings are basically a mixture of sleeping pills and gasoline. She says that if I drive by Dairy Queen again she'll stop seeing me. Plus, she'll unfriend me on Facebook. And kill me with a hammer.

I now live on a gruel of (probiotic, gluten free, organic) grass clippings and shortening.

You eat bread? You're gonna die!!!

(((Hehehehe,,, :drinker: ))).

pettmybunny

My yogi / haematologist / nutritionist says ice cream toppings are basically a mixture of sleeping pills and gasoline. She says that if I drive by Dairy Queen again she'll stop seeing me. Plus, she'll unfriend me on Facebook. And kill me with a hammer.

I now live on a gruel of (probiotic, gluten free, organic) grass clippings and shortening.

You eat bread? You're gonna die!!!

(((Hehehehe,,, :drinker: ))).

Please Sir, I want some more.

http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2008/12/18/twist-diet.html (article about gruel)

maurierose

Lots of people have posted important and significant points-of-view on this thread and I agree with so many of them.

I, for one, appreciate opposing thoughts and points of view when it comes to advice. I try to keep an open mind, and understand that everyone has something DIFFERENT that works for THEM. We are not words on a forum here, we are people who are on a journey, and if we all took the same path, we'd run down all the flowers and scare away all the birds on our hike. :laugh: Sure, there may be several people all doing the same thing and having success, but that's not the case for everyone here.

I firmly believe in the "To Each His Own" philosophy.

I used to have a quote I posted in my forum profiles: "Fare thee well as you traverse this land, alone or with another... and may each person you meet along the way be better for knowing you."

Touch lives for the better. Take the best of what you can along your journey, and make it work for you. Let negativity slip away from you, if the person doling it out is important in your life, address it, resolve it..... if not, ignore it and move on.

Yes, there's a reason I earned "MFP" as a nick name. I like sunshine and roses. I'm willing to do the work to get them........Yep, I'm a Mary Eff'in Poppins.

:bigsmile:

ivykivy

So what you're saying is eat the ice cream with toppings before bed so you'll sleep well but save a smidgen to put in the gas tank in the morning.:laugh:

I'm not mocking you. I'm just kidding.

I wish people took organic and inorganic chemistry and realized how close most substances are moleculary and wouldn't be so horrified when they here these statement.

My yogi / haematologist / nutritionist says ice cream toppings are basically a mixture of sleeping pills and gasoline.

hasiangirl

:laugh: :laugh: I know one thing people on this site have scared me away from cool whip and margarine

CasperO

Margarine contains enormous concentrations of Lead paint chips and arsenic and old lace.

hasiangirl

Margarine contains enormous concentrations of Lead paint chips and arsenic and old lace.

lol like i said i've been scared away from those two things...and now a 3rd thing...diet soda (Which I do heart oh so much) :grumble: :grumble:

fondawanda

It's difficult to cut out something that you have been eating for the best part of your life:frown: and I appreciate where you are coming from, but i also think its okay to have treats as well, in fact I think its important. If you try and cut out all the supposed junk straight off you are aiming to fail. Some people can do it and good for them:flowerforyou: But you are right take it at your pace, unless the doctor has said dont eat it it will kill!:noway: you take it easy and cut it out gradually. I still have to have the occasional chocolate:bigsmile: I had a mexican on sunday:bigsmile: but I'm back on course this week and running it off:grumble: I wont ever criticize just encourage:drinker: :bigsmile:

How big was the mexican you had on Sunday? :laugh: :laugh:

mcohan

all that matters is that you are on the right track for YOU...whether that means losing a million pounds, or just becoming aware of the decisions that you are making. i think we all deserve a pat on the back for at least thinking about our health and the alterntaives to processed food.

p.s. this is totally the place to vent and let out all your frustrations whether or not people agree...thats the fun part! haha no ones feelings really get hurt here,ya know? good luck with everything! you can totally do it!!

cardigirl

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
I am a very sensitive person who hates confrontation. I believe encouragement is the best medicine.
(if you knew what I did for a living, you would LOL............God only knows how I got into it!!)

If I dont like what someone is saying, I have the choice to not read it. Everyone has their opinion, and has the right to express it.

If you are on diet drugs, and ASK everyones opinion, then expect it.
If you are ASKing what everyones opinion is on eating icecream toppings, then expect an honest response.

Now I have posted threads and was specific about what I am looking for, especially if I dont want a negative response. I know it gets out of hand sometimes, and ppl go over the top, but isnt that the case at a party where everyone doesnt know each other???

We cannot expect every answer to be what we want to hear, and sometimes hearing what we DONT want to hear is exactly what the doctor ordered.

I would quit this site if :flowerforyou: was the only smiley to use (although, she is my favorite!)
The :grumble: are there for a reason, it is a part of human nature.

"Take what you want and leave the rest"

Of all the posts in this thread I heart this one the most.

You know, I used to exercise 3 times a week and thought I was watching my calories, and I couldn't lose the weight, until someone showed me what I was doing wrong. I could have been hard headed about it and refused to listen or try, but I changed up my habits, and learned about whole foods, and better exercise, and the weight started to come off, the muscle started to build.

There are pages and pages of great information, a lot of it provided by Banks, that will help you if you want it to.

There are also pages and pages of threads with lousy information and I really don't see anything wrong with trying to give more correct information that will be more useful. I think most people would want to know what genuinely works for being the healthiest you can be.

That being said, I generally stay off the forums, because it's just too stressful most days.

SamiRose

I think we should all just have a glass of wine and relax :laugh:

Seriously, no here means to offend everyone and is hard to undertstand the tone of a written post. I completely understand your point but at the same time the "preachers" mean well and tend to have a lot of experience and education behind them.

Support and encouragement comes in many forms. For some people it is just lending an ear, for others it is a few kind words and for others it may be a kick in the pants. The point is, it is all well intentioned and no need to take offense.:flowerforyou:

I agree with you completely! Well put....

iRun4wine

I've always thought that there are many different ways to eat healthy- just like exercise.

Some of us run, some swim, some bike, some dance, some take a class, some do a DVD, some do physical labor... etc.

Similarly, some of us focus on low-calorie diets, some on low sodium, some on clean eating, some on low cholesterol, some on vegetarian eating...etc.

To me, there is no *right* way to eat, or to exercise. It's all about finding what works for you, or you'll never stick with it (food or exercise) long term.

Just like in real life, sometimes we ask a question for an actual answer, sometimes we ask when we already know the answer, sometimes we ask because we want a "tough" answer, sometimes we ask as a b*tching session in disguise, etc.

It's not always ideal, and you've all raised good points. It is what it is, like it or leave it

czewwhat

A lot of the people here are very excited at how they have achieved their success and want to share. The preachy thing I have not really experienced, however I have seen a bunch of "How much ice cream can I eat and still lose weight?" type of postings, this is an attempt to get others to pat them on the head and say, "oh, you poor thing, who shoved that whole cheesecake down your throat!"

Not you per se, so no intent to be snide, but when you ask for advice you will get it, sometimes we do not like hearing that we just have to change! How much Ice cream can I eat and get away with it? as much as I want, but I won't lose weight doing it either!

Good luck in your journey and win the battle you have chosen to fight! We are all here doing the same thing.

Georg

A lot of the people here are very excited at how they have achieved their success and want to share. The preachy thing I have not really experienced, however I have seen a bunch of "How much ice cream can I eat and still lose weight?" type of postings, this is an attempt to get others to pat them on the head and say, "oh, you poor thing, who shoved that whole cheesecake down your throat!"

Not you per se, so no intent to be snide, but when you ask for advice you will get it, sometimes we do not like hearing that we just have to change! How much Ice cream can I eat and get away with it? as much as I want, but I won't lose weight doing it either!

Good luck in your journey and win the battle you have chosen to fight! We are all here doing the same thing.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
amen!

amandadaisylotus

AMEN.

I've read all the posts and you all have good (and repeated) points. There's no one way to go about anything in life, including a healthy diet.

I think the post I thought about most when I read this one was the Skinny Cow post. Like it has been said, for someone who has been eating something really bad for them all their lives, a small change, like eating a low fat/reduced fat substitute is a step in the right direction. But then some people come up and literally try to scare them off of the substitute by quoting the chemicals and processing that is required to make them low fat/reduced fat.

People can read the nutrition label, they can google the ingredients that are on them. Let them make their own decisions what chemicals they put in their body instead of basically telling them that they're going to kill themselves by eating "unnatural" foods. I think being obese is a more likely killer than the chemicals in the reduced fat foods. Especially for those of us that still have problems with moderation.

I don't mind reading post that are specifically about these things though, like the KFC grilled chicken post. But I went into that post knowing that I was going to be reading about the chemicals/processing facts. I went looking for that information.

For someone who just wants to have a nice "Well I love this particular thing!" convo with like minded people, having someone come on raging on the scene and destroying buildings with their "RAWR CHEMICALS RAWR" posts is just plain annoying.

FireMonkey

Well put. I remember not too long ago there was a newbie - who did have a negative outlook to be sure, but she was just new. Some people jumped all over her and she hasn't been seen since. Sometimes people do need to vent, especially when they're new and feel overwhelmed by the changes their doctor has told them they need to make. They don't want to be patted on the head, they just want somebody to understand how they feel. Change isn't easy, especially when you're told to change instead of it being your idea.

Fit4Vet

It's difficult to cut out something that you have been eating for the best part of your life:frown: and I appreciate where you are coming from, but i also think its okay to have treats as well, in fact I think its important. If you try and cut out all the supposed junk straight off you are aiming to fail. Some people can do it and good for them:flowerforyou: But you are right take it at your pace, unless the doctor has said dont eat it it will kill!:noway: you take it easy and cut it out gradually. I still have to have the occasional chocolate:bigsmile: I had a mexican on sunday:bigsmile: but I'm back on course this week and running it off:grumble: I wont ever criticize just encourage:drinker: :bigsmile:

How big was the mexican you had on Sunday? :laugh: :laugh:

:bigsmile: howls, just howls of laughter here! I remember thinking that when I read it :bigsmile:

dang & I've just woke the baby with my laughing!

hmo4

AMEN.

I've read all the posts and you all have good (and repeated) points. There's no one way to go about anything in life, including a healthy diet.

I think the post I thought about most when I read this one was the Skinny Cow post. Like it has been said, for someone who has been eating something really bad for them all their lives, a small change, like eating a low fat/reduced fat substitute is a step in the right direction. But then some people come up and literally try to scare them off of the substitute by quoting the chemicals and processing that is required to make them low fat/reduced fat.

People can read the nutrition label, they can google the ingredients that are on them. Let them make their own decisions what chemicals they put in their body instead of basically telling them that they're going to kill themselves by eating "unnatural" foods. I think being obese is a more likely killer than the chemicals in the reduced fat foods. Especially for those of us that still have problems with moderation.

I don't mind reading post that are specifically about these things though, like the KFC grilled chicken post. But I went into that post knowing that I was going to be reading about the chemicals/processing facts. I went looking for that information.

For someone who just wants to have a nice "Well I love this particular thing!" convo with like minded people, having someone come on raging on the scene and destroying buildings with their "RAWR CHEMICALS RAWR" posts is just plain annoying.

:noway: :noway: There's something wrong with Skinny Cow and Cool Whip?:sad: Actually, I don't care, if I don't die from soup in aluminum cans, the air conditioner blowing on me in a close up car, the chemicals in my cleansers, or the artifial sweetners, something else will -the lists don't end. Hell, I could get hit by a car crossing the street tomorrow (I hope I didn't jinx myself). I've given up and changed a lot already-I'M NOT GIVING UP THE COW OR THE WHIP!

ilike2moveit

You have a good point - just keep in mind that when you ask for people's opinions you can't get mad when they give it. Just take the information that is useful to you and let the other's roll off your back. :flowerforyou: