How do I gain self esteem??

Any ideas? I still have weight to lose, but I feel fat and ugly still. Maybe that will never change no matter what I weigh.
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Replies

  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    There isn`t a magic answer but trust me you are neither fat nor ugly. :flowerforyou:
  • KendyDawn81
    KendyDawn81 Posts: 63
    I feel the same way, even though I have people tell me different. I guess maybe it's just a mental mind-set that you need to overcome, but it's hard! Even when I was a size 4/6, I still felt that way.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    There isn`t a magic answer but trust me you are neither fat nor ugly. :flowerforyou:

    Listen to Carl, he is very wise.
    Hopefully putting some time and effort into taking care of yourself will help you feel better, I know it's worked for me.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    by doing the things that you are good at you gain enjoyment and the pleasure in knowing that you are awesome!!!
  • BriskisGrl
    BriskisGrl Posts: 461
    My friend, I wish I could tell you. I feel the same way as you. Joining this site was a step in the right direction. For me it's trying to build up what was tore down, the feeling of guilt etc. To me though you are beautiful!
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    It's hard. I have a hard time with this too. My bf reminds me on a regular basis that I'm smart and pretty and everything but I have a hard time believing it myself and I point out my flaws regularly. >.<
  • kms1981
    kms1981 Posts: 207 Member
    You can start by removing the negative self talk. Tell yourself everyday that you are worth it. You are worth every change you make, every step you take and every dream you have. You are beautiful and the only person who can add self esteem to you is YOU :) So keep moving in the right direction and remember that you have all the power!
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    McDonalds...it comes as a prize in the happy Meal.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    McDonalds...it comes as a prize in the happy Meal.

    I got mine at Victoria's Secret.
  • Music_is_my_soul
    Music_is_my_soul Posts: 792 Member
    Honey you are BEAUTIFUL and you should be proud of the weight you have lost! I can't tell you if your feelings for yourself will ever change! I hope they will! I hope mine will! But know that you are BEAUTIFUL!!!! Love you girl!!! Stay strong!!! You are GREAT motivation for me!!!
  • pj12string
    pj12string Posts: 128 Member
    If you want self-esteem, behave like someone who already has it. Soon you will become someone with self-esteem.
  • jplord
    jplord Posts: 510 Member
    The "Happy Meal" answer.... Our solutions can be purchased, our happiness can be acquired from pills or fast food or sex...

    Wrong. It can be fun trying but wrong. Consequences aren't good with the Happy Meal strategy.

    Self esteem takes a lifetime to build, and seconds to destroy. By starting the process of developing self-esteem, you gain some. It takes hard work, an investment of your time and energy, and you have to set goals. Achieving goals and developing a sense of pride in your accomplishing those goals is the time-honored way to gain self-esteem.

    ...or you can supersize your Bliss burger and eat until you are sad....then suffer the consequences. We've all been someplace like that.
  • kmillar1224
    kmillar1224 Posts: 91 Member
    Be your own best friend. Would you ever say those negative thoughts you tell yourself on a regular basis to your friends or family? No, you wouldn't, so why say it to the most important person in the world - yourself?? Every time you start to doubt yourself, turn it around and talk to yourself as if you were your own best friend. It all starts from within, my dear!!! Focus only on the postives and forget the negatives. HUGZ!!
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Look in the mirror and see what the rest of us see.....your gorgeous!!
    Take the road your on one step at a time!! It'll come to you.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    McDonalds...it comes as a prize in the happy Meal.

    I got mine at Victoria's Secret.
    I hear pics is a great self esteem boost.
  • mamamudbug
    mamamudbug Posts: 572 Member
    Treat yourself with kindness. Chances are you would not tell someone else the things you tell yourself. It's always easier to believe the negative versus the postive. You have to retrain the way you think.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    McDonalds...it comes as a prize in the happy Meal.

    I got mine at Victoria's Secret.
    I hear pics is a great self esteem boost.

    If you like how they sound, you should see how they look...
  • mamamudbug
    mamamudbug Posts: 572 Member
    Be your own best friend. Would you ever say those negative thoughts you tell yourself on a regular basis to your friends or family? No, you wouldn't, so why say it to the most important person in the world - yourself?? Every time you start to doubt yourself, turn it around and talk to yourself as if you were your own best friend. It all starts from within, my dear!!! Focus only on the postives and forget the negatives. HUGZ!!

    Beat me to it and said it so much better :flowerforyou:
  • sazzyp1973
    sazzyp1973 Posts: 517 Member
    Smile and the world smiles with you!

    Seriously, if you think positive you feel better. You have done so well so far. Focus on that. Take a good look at how far you have come and you should realise how great you look.

    Don't stress about what other people think or don't think of you. It is how you feel in your own skin that is important.

    You get one life, make the most of it.

    All the best
  • tonicandgin
    tonicandgin Posts: 175
    you are beautiful and look what you have accomplished- you are an inspiration to me!!
  • Mercenary1914
    Mercenary1914 Posts: 1,087 Member
    Any ideas? I still have weight to lose, but I feel fat and ugly still. Maybe that will never change no matter what I weigh.

    I hope I do not repeat what others have said....

    1) Love yourself first...EVERYTHING about you: The Good...The Bad...The Ugly

    2) Evaluate all the good things about you..Inside and out...if you have to; write them down.....Get input from family and friends too...It's amazing the good things other people see in you that you do not see in yourself.

    3) Cherish the things you have in life..Family, Friends, home, food, bed to sleep in, transportation....People who have these things are richer than 70% of the world.

    4) Evaluate all flaws....The ones you can't change...say to yourself..."F%CK IT...and Love the Hell out of it."....Things you can change...or shall I say improve...WORK on it..

    5) While you are in transition ....Repeat steps 1-3...DAILY...and Step 4 when you hit a wall.

    6) Extra credit...don't just focus on improving your body...improve your mind and soul as well..Study a new language, do things to keep your mind busy and happy.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Sometimes you have to fake it! But really, you aren't fat or ugly, and if that is truly how you feel, and it affects how you live your life, it may be time to involve a professional to help you.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Anger, Sarcasm and wit. Use these tools. Try trolling in the forums. Maybe start a nasty post.

    Also self inflate your ego. Your way better than those **** **** *****!!!!

    RAR!!!
  • Micksgurl
    Micksgurl Posts: 84
    Start by making a new profile picture with a smile on your face. If you like to read try "The New Earth" or "The Power of Now" Eckhart Tolle.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    Anger, Sarcasm and wit. Use these tools. Try trolling in the forums. Maybe start a nasty post.

    Also self inflate your ego. Your way better than those **** **** *****!!!!

    RAR!!!
    I think I am going to use that in my Plenty of Fish profile description.
  • tugers2
    tugers2 Posts: 139
    you stop caring what other people MIGHT be thinking of you and start looking at the good things about yourself and not dwelling on the tiny flaws
  • StaceyL76
    StaceyL76 Posts: 711 Member
    I understand this - completely. It is a decision you need to make. You have a strong belief that you are fat and ugly. Until you decide you feel differently - You will always feel that way.

    I have decided that I am not Fat nor Ugly. I have many many good days... but the previous beliefs are there in the shadows and now and again they show up in the forefront of my mind. Sometimes I get stuck in it and sometimes I shove it back.

    It is a struggle, but you can win.
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
    Are your face and your body the only things that make you, you? I highly doubt that. I'm sure you've done many things that you can be proud of. Put your stock in those things. The rest will come.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    Bi*****s need to stop blaming all your problems on us. Stop tellin' a n***a,"You ****ed up my self-esteem". Bi**h it's called SELF-ESTEEM! It's esteem of your motha****in' self. - Katt Williams.

    OP this wasn't directed at you in any way other than to hopefully give you a laugh.
  • AmyM713
    AmyM713 Posts: 594 Member
    Stop saying you feel fat and ugly first off, replace the negative with positive, point out the good stuff you see about your self. When you focus on the negative the positive is hidden. You are here and trying to better yourself so you are motivated! Remember you will have bad and good days but just try to move past the bad and don't dwell on them. Good luck on your journey you will do amazing!!