How do I gain self esteem??

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24

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  • Mercenary1914
    Mercenary1914 Posts: 1,087 Member
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    Any ideas? I still have weight to lose, but I feel fat and ugly still. Maybe that will never change no matter what I weigh.

    I hope I do not repeat what others have said....

    1) Love yourself first...EVERYTHING about you: The Good...The Bad...The Ugly

    2) Evaluate all the good things about you..Inside and out...if you have to; write them down.....Get input from family and friends too...It's amazing the good things other people see in you that you do not see in yourself.

    3) Cherish the things you have in life..Family, Friends, home, food, bed to sleep in, transportation....People who have these things are richer than 70% of the world.

    4) Evaluate all flaws....The ones you can't change...say to yourself..."F%CK IT...and Love the Hell out of it."....Things you can change...or shall I say improve...WORK on it..

    5) While you are in transition ....Repeat steps 1-3...DAILY...and Step 4 when you hit a wall.

    6) Extra credit...don't just focus on improving your body...improve your mind and soul as well..Study a new language, do things to keep your mind busy and happy.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    Sometimes you have to fake it! But really, you aren't fat or ugly, and if that is truly how you feel, and it affects how you live your life, it may be time to involve a professional to help you.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    Anger, Sarcasm and wit. Use these tools. Try trolling in the forums. Maybe start a nasty post.

    Also self inflate your ego. Your way better than those **** **** *****!!!!

    RAR!!!
  • Micksgurl
    Micksgurl Posts: 84
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    Start by making a new profile picture with a smile on your face. If you like to read try "The New Earth" or "The Power of Now" Eckhart Tolle.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    Anger, Sarcasm and wit. Use these tools. Try trolling in the forums. Maybe start a nasty post.

    Also self inflate your ego. Your way better than those **** **** *****!!!!

    RAR!!!
    I think I am going to use that in my Plenty of Fish profile description.
  • tugers2
    tugers2 Posts: 139
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    you stop caring what other people MIGHT be thinking of you and start looking at the good things about yourself and not dwelling on the tiny flaws
  • StaceyL76
    StaceyL76 Posts: 711 Member
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    I understand this - completely. It is a decision you need to make. You have a strong belief that you are fat and ugly. Until you decide you feel differently - You will always feel that way.

    I have decided that I am not Fat nor Ugly. I have many many good days... but the previous beliefs are there in the shadows and now and again they show up in the forefront of my mind. Sometimes I get stuck in it and sometimes I shove it back.

    It is a struggle, but you can win.
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
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    Are your face and your body the only things that make you, you? I highly doubt that. I'm sure you've done many things that you can be proud of. Put your stock in those things. The rest will come.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    Bi*****s need to stop blaming all your problems on us. Stop tellin' a n***a,"You ****ed up my self-esteem". Bi**h it's called SELF-ESTEEM! It's esteem of your motha****in' self. - Katt Williams.

    OP this wasn't directed at you in any way other than to hopefully give you a laugh.
  • AmyM713
    AmyM713 Posts: 594 Member
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    Stop saying you feel fat and ugly first off, replace the negative with positive, point out the good stuff you see about your self. When you focus on the negative the positive is hidden. You are here and trying to better yourself so you are motivated! Remember you will have bad and good days but just try to move past the bad and don't dwell on them. Good luck on your journey you will do amazing!!
  • starracer23
    starracer23 Posts: 1,011 Member
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    I hear that you can buy some off the black market for pretty cheap ;)

    But seriously go buy some dry earase markers and write on your mirrors that you are beautiful. And repeat that to yourself everytime you look in the mirror. Dont listen to that voice that tries to drag you down...tell it to shut up and that its not welcome in your life any more.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    Fake it till you make it!
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    Bi*****s need to stop blaming all your problems on us. Stop tellin' a n***a,"You ****ed up my self-esteem". Bi**h it's called SELF-ESTEEM! It's esteem of your motha****in' self. - Katt Williams.

    OP this wasn't directed at you in any way other than to hopefully give you a laugh.

    Love Kat Williams...he's a funny MoFo!
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
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    Excercise. Nothing makes me feel more accomplished than getting stronger or faster. Set fitness goals & set up training plans to get you there.
  • Ephena
    Ephena Posts: 615 Member
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    It's a work in progress, it can take the mind longer to catch up to how your body looks. It sucks but keep working at it because it does come. I am getting better about it myself but it's taken a while and I can still back slide pretty fast. Great friends who have been supportive have saved me from quitting.

    Also trying to get out there more can be a pretty nice boost, when you get compliments from people who aren't close to you it means more (at least to me) because they aren't likely to be biased. Even getting called a skinny b*tch doesn't upset me anymore, I decided to believe that they're jealous/envious.

    And sometimes you have to fake it until you make it, but you will make it if you keep at it!
  • lisapr123
    lisapr123 Posts: 863 Member
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    First off your self-esteem doesn't (and shouldn't --in my opinion) need to be tied to your looks and weight! It's about realizing that as a WHOLE PERSON you are worthy.

    Set goals, work towards meeting them, and celebrate your accomplishments. The more things I do, the better I feel. They can be fitness related, or learning a new skill, or committing to help someone else. These are the things that enhance us as people. It disturbs me how many people think weight and looks define us. It is just one part of us. Do we give up on a friend because they gained 10 lbs or got a bad haircut? No! But we give up on ourselves, and that is just plain sad.

    Last November my husband and I were given some devestating news. Since then I've been training for a century (100 mile bike ride), opening up to my friends and families about our medical issue, and learning to appreciate the beauty in my everyday life. I'm not religious, but now find myself being thankful every day for my health, strength, family, friends, etc... Since then I've lost weight, gained confidence in myself (and my friends), and have been told that I look better now than ever before in my life (even when I was thinner). Find something other than just your weight and looks to focus on!!
  • srp2011
    srp2011 Posts: 1,829 Member
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    Self esteem takes a lifetime to build, and seconds to destroy. By starting the process of developing self-esteem, you gain some. It takes hard work, an investment of your time and energy, and you have to set goals. Achieving goals and developing a sense of pride in your accomplishing those goals is the time-honored way to gain self-esteem.

    ^^^^This. Your self-esteem needs to be based on more than size and looks. Setting goals and achieving them in all areas of your life will steadily build your self-esteem (and these don't have to be major, monumental goals - baby step goals are actually better because you get that feeling of achievement sooner and more frequently). Trying new things and discovering new things that you are good at, and expanding your boundaries will also help.

    BTW, you are beautiful and you've accomplished a lot already!
  • erikkasusann
    erikkasusann Posts: 104
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    If you want self-esteem, behave like someone who already has it. Soon you will become someone with self-esteem.

    ^^^this. And this,
    "To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself." ~Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Be naked as often as possible. Seriously.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    Be naked as often as possible. Seriously.
    Friend request sent

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