How do I gain self esteem??

2

Replies

  • starracer23
    starracer23 Posts: 1,011 Member
    I hear that you can buy some off the black market for pretty cheap ;)

    But seriously go buy some dry earase markers and write on your mirrors that you are beautiful. And repeat that to yourself everytime you look in the mirror. Dont listen to that voice that tries to drag you down...tell it to shut up and that its not welcome in your life any more.
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    Fake it till you make it!
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    Bi*****s need to stop blaming all your problems on us. Stop tellin' a n***a,"You ****ed up my self-esteem". Bi**h it's called SELF-ESTEEM! It's esteem of your motha****in' self. - Katt Williams.

    OP this wasn't directed at you in any way other than to hopefully give you a laugh.

    Love Kat Williams...he's a funny MoFo!
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
    Excercise. Nothing makes me feel more accomplished than getting stronger or faster. Set fitness goals & set up training plans to get you there.
  • Ephena
    Ephena Posts: 610 Member
    It's a work in progress, it can take the mind longer to catch up to how your body looks. It sucks but keep working at it because it does come. I am getting better about it myself but it's taken a while and I can still back slide pretty fast. Great friends who have been supportive have saved me from quitting.

    Also trying to get out there more can be a pretty nice boost, when you get compliments from people who aren't close to you it means more (at least to me) because they aren't likely to be biased. Even getting called a skinny b*tch doesn't upset me anymore, I decided to believe that they're jealous/envious.

    And sometimes you have to fake it until you make it, but you will make it if you keep at it!
  • lisapr123
    lisapr123 Posts: 863 Member
    First off your self-esteem doesn't (and shouldn't --in my opinion) need to be tied to your looks and weight! It's about realizing that as a WHOLE PERSON you are worthy.

    Set goals, work towards meeting them, and celebrate your accomplishments. The more things I do, the better I feel. They can be fitness related, or learning a new skill, or committing to help someone else. These are the things that enhance us as people. It disturbs me how many people think weight and looks define us. It is just one part of us. Do we give up on a friend because they gained 10 lbs or got a bad haircut? No! But we give up on ourselves, and that is just plain sad.

    Last November my husband and I were given some devestating news. Since then I've been training for a century (100 mile bike ride), opening up to my friends and families about our medical issue, and learning to appreciate the beauty in my everyday life. I'm not religious, but now find myself being thankful every day for my health, strength, family, friends, etc... Since then I've lost weight, gained confidence in myself (and my friends), and have been told that I look better now than ever before in my life (even when I was thinner). Find something other than just your weight and looks to focus on!!
  • srp2011
    srp2011 Posts: 1,829 Member

    Self esteem takes a lifetime to build, and seconds to destroy. By starting the process of developing self-esteem, you gain some. It takes hard work, an investment of your time and energy, and you have to set goals. Achieving goals and developing a sense of pride in your accomplishing those goals is the time-honored way to gain self-esteem.

    ^^^^This. Your self-esteem needs to be based on more than size and looks. Setting goals and achieving them in all areas of your life will steadily build your self-esteem (and these don't have to be major, monumental goals - baby step goals are actually better because you get that feeling of achievement sooner and more frequently). Trying new things and discovering new things that you are good at, and expanding your boundaries will also help.

    BTW, you are beautiful and you've accomplished a lot already!
  • erikkasusann
    erikkasusann Posts: 104
    If you want self-esteem, behave like someone who already has it. Soon you will become someone with self-esteem.

    ^^^this. And this,
    "To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself." ~Thich Nhat Hanh
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    Be naked as often as possible. Seriously.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
    Be naked as often as possible. Seriously.
    Friend request sent
  • PrncessBre
    PrncessBre Posts: 444 Member
    Any ideas? I still have weight to lose, but I feel fat and ugly still. Maybe that will never change no matter what I weigh.

    I hope I do not repeat what others have said....

    1) Love yourself first...EVERYTHING about you: The Good...The Bad...The Ugly

    2) Evaluate all the good things about you..Inside and out...if you have to; write them down.....Get input from family and friends too...It's amazing the good things other people see in you that you do not see in yourself.

    3) Cherish the things you have in life..Family, Friends, home, food, bed to sleep in, transportation....People who have these things are richer than 70% of the world.

    4) Evaluate all flaws....The ones you can't change...say to yourself..."F%CK IT...and Love the Hell out of it."....Things you can change...or shall I say improve...WORK on it..

    5) While you are in transition ....Repeat steps 1-3...DAILY...and Step 4 when you hit a wall.

    6) Extra credit...don't just focus on improving your body...improve your mind and soul as well..Study a new language, do things to keep your mind busy and happy.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:


    ^^^He put everything in a nutshell. Practice this everyday and I promise you WILL feel better. I am also on this mission. With determination to luv ourselves we will get there hun. You can add me if you like :smile:
  • Syreeta6
    Syreeta6 Posts: 377 Member
    Not sure, even after my weight loss all I see when I look in the mirror is what needs to be fixed or toned up a bit more. But I certainly don't think I'm ugly or unattractive.
  • iamfranniefierce
    iamfranniefierce Posts: 305 Member
    The best way to appreciate anything is to imagine life without that "thing", in this case yourself. Don't underestimate your value, everyone is needed by someone!
  • MissMollieD
    MissMollieD Posts: 130
    My advice is to start doing boxing, kick-boxing, or self-defence. There is nothing more empowering or self-esteem building then being able to kick the *kitten* out off anyone that crosses your path. :happy:
  • PrncessBre
    PrncessBre Posts: 444 Member
    OH AND SMILE!!! YOUR BEAUTIFUL!!!
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
    You have to like yourself. Start thinking positive about yourself. Start with one body part you love and then the next and keep going until you are happy with yourself.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    If you want self-esteem, behave like someone who already has it. Soon you will become someone with self-esteem.

    The fake-it-until-you-make-it routine doesn't work for everyone. :<
  • Amy_Lynn74
    Amy_Lynn74 Posts: 134 Member
    It starts with self image. Try getting a self help book from the library and do the little activities they have in them.:flowerforyou:
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Any ideas? I still have weight to lose, but I feel fat and ugly still. Maybe that will never change no matter what I weigh.

    Would you tell a friend that they are fat and ugly? Probably not...so don't say those things to yourself. I agree with whoever said stop with the negative self talk. I struggle with the same negative self talk so I can totally relate...but I am trying to change that.

    A long time ago, I had a friend who suggested I write down one thing every day that I am grateful for or happy about in my life. Try finding one thing every day that makes you feel good about yourself, and build from there.
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
    I sell self esteem, but it will cost ya. :bigsmile:
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    Any ideas? I still have weight to lose, but I feel fat and ugly still. Maybe that will never change no matter what I weigh.

    I hope I do not repeat what others have said....

    1) Love yourself first...EVERYTHING about you: The Good...The Bad...The Ugly

    2) Evaluate all the good things about you..Inside and out...if you have to; write them down.....Get input from family and friends too...It's amazing the good things other people see in you that you do not see in yourself.

    3) Cherish the things you have in life..Family, Friends, home, food, bed to sleep in, transportation....People who have these things are richer than 70% of the world.

    4) Evaluate all flaws....The ones you can't change...say to yourself..."F%CK IT...and Love the Hell out of it."....Things you can change...or shall I say improve...WORK on it..

    5) While you are in transition ....Repeat steps 1-3...DAILY...and Step 4 when you hit a wall.

    6) Extra credit...don't just focus on improving your body...improve your mind and soul as well..Study a new language, do things to keep your mind busy and happy.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    Bumping this because I need to do this for myself. Thank you!
  • dansls1
    dansls1 Posts: 309 Member
    I would start by not defining yourself as 'Morgyn's mama' and use some variation of your own name. It's a small step - but IMHO it would help ;)

    (And BTW I do not think you are fat and ugly either).
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Be naked as often as possible. Seriously.
    Friend request sent

    ^^^ This
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
    If you want self-esteem, behave like someone who already has it. Soon you will become someone with self-esteem.
    This! Just throw yourself out there. I was a little 'shy' to even start walking in public and only wanted to go after dark. One day I decided that I was doing this for ME, that I no longer cared what others thought and that I owned the neighborhood. lol Now I walk my dog out there so much that all the neighbor kids know me and a few other neighbors have noticed my weight loss and have joined me. It's a small step but it has made me more confident. Btw, I've walked almost 500 miles since Jan. :)
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    You look at yourself and realize that you are a beautiful, strong and intelligent woman. Because you are.
  • _hi_hat3r_
    _hi_hat3r_ Posts: 423 Member
    Bi*****s need to stop blaming all your problems on us. Stop tellin' a n***a,"You ****ed up my self-esteem". Bi**h it's called SELF-ESTEEM! It's esteem of your motha****in' self. - Katt Williams.

    OP this wasn't directed at you in any way other than to hopefully give you a laugh.

    lol
  • erikkasusann
    erikkasusann Posts: 104
    If you want self-esteem, behave like someone who already has it. Soon you will become someone with self-esteem.

    The fake-it-until-you-make-it routine doesn't work for everyone. :<

    If you start out with this attitude, it will never work. If you do it right it isn't really "faking" it anyway, it's changing your attitude & behavior because you BELIEVE that you are worth it. If you don't really believe it, then it won't work.
  • dlwyatt82
    dlwyatt82 Posts: 1,077 Member
    I can't say whether this works for everyone, but I'm finding weightlifting to be very rewarding that way. I'm still morbidly obese and have close to 100 pounds to lose, but I feel a hell of a lot better overall, both during and between workouts.

    It's sort of like focusing on what I can do, rather than what I look like. Every time I'm in the gym and seeing people who barely bend their legs in a "squat", part of me feels kind of awesome for doing it right. :smile:
  • PattyfromToledo
    PattyfromToledo Posts: 74 Member
    WOW... I read these posts and I feel bad you guys. What is not to love about yourself? Your happiness is in your control...not the chocolate you put in your mouth or whether or not you can wear a size 2 or 22. Be happy that you are making a change for health reasons. Life happens...good and bad. Try smiling more, walking with your head held high...be happy with what you have and happier that you are doing something positive.
  • 12by311
    12by311 Posts: 1,716 Member
    Any ideas? I still have weight to lose, but I feel fat and ugly still. Maybe that will never change no matter what I weigh.

    No negative self-talk.
    Always work at improving yourself...physically, emotionally, whatever.
    Focus on what you are good at daily.
    Surround yourself with positive people. Get rid of the crappy ones.