Online dating?
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Eh, I did the online dating thing for a while. Did E-Harmony first, met two guys. Really liked the one guy, then he told me his job might be transferred overseas. So i questioned it and then we ended things, so I asked him "well if you know you're leaving, why even bother going through all this?" his response: "Because i'm bored and I just want to go out and have fun". I should have asked the hard questions up front before I even got involved w/ this guy.
Second guy was recently divorced w/ a four year old daughter. Never met the daughter, but the way he talked about his ex NON STOP drove me nuts. I'm not a therapist, nor will I ever be. Ugh.
Met a guy on Match.com. We went out once a week, always on thursdays (?!), he hadn't even KISSED me until the third date (which was at his house). Fourth date, he wanted me to sleep with him. I don't think I left his place any faster than humanly possible!
Needless to say, I gave up on online dating!!! I ended up dating a friend from high school, but that only lasted six months because he's STILL just as he was in high school! Grow up dude. And now, over a year later, here I sit STILL single and not sure if I want to try online dating again :-/
What's worse is I work in NYC. It's seeming to be impossible to find a guy there
What should I do?
Get thee to a hockey game.
Men dig chicks who like sports.
LOL this is true....but i have to say, i've dated hardcore Devils fans (as hardcore as I am), and they were all epic failures. Maybe I need to switch teams LOL0 -
Sooo...I think I might be ready to start dating agin, has anyone had any luck with online dating? If so what sites??
yes. married to the sexiest younger fabulous man for three years now. love at first sight. it was an awesome ending to a long search. be forwarned, you must dig threw a lot of duds to find the good one. and be aware of perves and criminals.
we met on okcupid.com. but there are lots out there. just get to know them first, always drive yourself, limit drinking, have your own money, and a cell, and let ppl know where your going and who with. i did not always follow good rules and it can be bad.0 -
one of my mfp and real life friends found her man on twitter.. hockey fans!! they r engaged and shes so happy!!!0
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I can't recommend any sites but as in real life, be cautious.
Unfortunately people have ALWAYS been deceitful in their actions and honesty. The Internet has just exposed us to more of them because it's right in our face.
I think online dating gets a bad rap. The issue is not online dating, but the lack of content in a person's character.0 -
I used pof.com, met a ton of creepers and a couple nice guys. I think the ratio is 4 serial killers to every normie. Everyone tells me if I do the online thing to do the paid site thing.0
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Agree, men love sporty women.
What about the gym? Are you all meeting more women/men at the gym, now that you have a much more active lifestyle? Seems like one approach.
--Prahasaurus0 -
YES YES YES!
I met my husband on an online dating site back in 2004! (the site is called lavalife.com- which I am not even sure exists anymore). He paid a dollar to chat with me!!
You WILL meet some weirdos but if you can sift through the garbage you will find someone amazing!
** just be safe about where to meet. I spoke with him online/phone for 3 months prior to meeting. Then we met in a public place.
Enjoy!!!0 -
Tips for new online daters
~ If a man bring up sex to quickly, that's all he wants.
~ He's shorter then his profile say's
~ Don't email back and forth for to long.
~ Meet someplace very public
~ Watch out for married trolls
And have fun!0 -
Plenty of fish in my area is a total MEAT MARKET. Oh god, it was so repulsive I rowed the boat back to shore.
OK Cupid was a little less horrific, but since I found out they match you by body type, I'm less inclined to go there.
I'm out of the game right now though. I think I want to date, then I remember how much I hated being married and don't want to have to deal with the hassle.0 -
I met my hubs on Match.com. We've been married for 5 years. I liked online dating because it got all the "big stuff" out of the way right up front like religion, politics and kids. I'm originally from the midwest and it is unusual for women OR men to not want children and I did not want to have children. I was sick of investing time and then finding out on a 4th date that the guy wanted 14 kids and for me to stay home with them. It certainly narrowed my responses, but at least I knew I wasn't wasting my time on people who weren't logical partners.0
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My fiancé and I met on plenty of fish. There's a lot of idiots on there though and I'd almost given up hope of finding anyone...in fact I'd almost given up hope of finding anyone that could actually spell and was usually greeted to a barrage of messages saying "u lk hwt wna meet" and other such nonesense. I actually resorted to implementing a character limit on messages to me. That is, a minimum requirement. Still, they resorted to just adding a million !'s, but it eventually paid off and we're getting married in September.
I actually put in my profile that if you used improper grammar or text talk or had severe spelling issues, I wouldn't respond. It certainly helped weed out a lot of the crazies and sex crazed I think. I was open that I wanted to just date and wasn't looking for a relationship so I was dating one guy and about 3 weeks in we got in an argument because I wouldn't call him my boyfriend. He was a lot of fun up until that point though. That's when I started just looking for friends and ended up meeting my best friend and my hubby!0 -
I met my wife online... over LiveJournal, on a friend's blog. You can definitely find a good relationship online, but I firmly believe that you're just as likely to find a good relationship when you're not specifically looking for one. Whether online or in "real life," just being active and actively open to people should give you the best chances.0
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I met my husband on plentyoffish.com.
Okay, I have to be blunt, you meet a lot of crazies, but if you are specific about what you want and really get to know the person before agreeing to meet them, it can work wonders. Also, this goes without saying, but I'd go on at least 3 dates before being alone with them. Meet at a crowded restaurant or whatever and don't let yourself get into a situation where you rely on them for a ride home or whatever. I never had bad experiences with that, but just standard stuffs that you'd think is common sense but not everyone knows.
But yes, again, met my husband....and to think of it, my best guy friend both on plentyoffish.com . Also met a few other really nice guys that it just didn't click with. I only messaged one jerk off but never ever EVER would have agreed to meet him. I'd definitely recommend trying it!
I too met my partner of 5 years on Plenty of Fish. I had to throw quite a few back in the pond but as was said above, if you know what you want and stick with it. Make sure it's clear on your profile, you can find some really nice people on there. I know people have had luck with eHarmony but I've never used it myself. There is something to be said about people being serious enough to pay, however there are also crazies on there I'm sure.
As far as online dating goes it's actually becoming the new norm. I know a LOT of people who have met their spouses online. Go for it. Have some fun, don't expect to meet the man of your dreams after the first few days and go in with your eyes wide open. Good luck!0 -
My fiancé and I met on plenty of fish. There's a lot of idiots on there though and I'd almost given up hope of finding anyone...in fact I'd almost given up hope of finding anyone that could actually spell and was usually greeted to a barrage of messages saying "u lk hwt wna meet" and other such nonesense. I actually resorted to implementing a character limit on messages to me. That is, a minimum requirement. Still, they resorted to just adding a million !'s, but it eventually paid off and we're getting married in September.
I actually put in my profile that if you used improper grammar or text talk or had severe spelling issues, I wouldn't respond. It certainly helped weed out a lot of the crazies and sex crazed I think. I was open that I wanted to just date and wasn't looking for a relationship so I was dating one guy and about 3 weeks in we got in an argument because I wouldn't call him my boyfriend. He was a lot of fun up until that point though. That's when I started just looking for friends and ended up meeting my best friend and my hubby!
HAHAHAH! Or the infamous message that just say's "Hi" what does that tell me???? I mean come on, put some effort into it. That being said, men have a lot harder time because they have to put out 4 times as many messages before they get a message back.
I also wouldn't keep taking to someone if they clearly had not read my profile. If they were serious about wanting to find someone to date they wouldn't just randomly message me because they saw my picture and decided I might message back. Not that there isn't room for learning but at least look at my profile and see if we have anything in common. Then your message can be "Hi, I see you like video games too! What do you play?" The only answer to Hi.. is Hi...
Alright.. stepping off my soapbox. :-P0 -
I've just joined match.com, haven't met anyone in person yet. I'm encouraged by all the people on here who have met a partner. I will also always be cautious but I can't imagine there being more weirdo's than I meet at the bars. Good luck!0
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thanks for this post! I too am considering going back to online dating in the very near future. I did it briefly about a year and a half ago (one date!) and really liked it, it was just very time consuming (kind of like the MFP message boards lol). My date was very nice, we met in a public place, I told my family and friends where I would be and that if they didnt hear from me in 2 hrs to come looking lol. It just happened that I also started talking to an old friend from college and we started dating so I dropped the online for a while. College friend and I didnt work out, broke up a few months ago and I think I'm ready to jump back in (it's SO scary to put myself back out there!) I appreciate everyone's advice and I like the idea of joining a social club so I will also check out meetup, thanks for that suggestion! 0
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thanks for the input and advice everyone!!
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I must be doing soething wrong cuz all i get on plenty of fish and okcupid is guys that want sex.0
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I met someone on MFP and things are going pretty good so far.Its nice to meet someone you have so much connection with.0
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I do try, but it is really hard. So many people just want sex.
Aoikirin, I so do agree with you there... That is all people are looking for... No one really want to take the time to get to know someone for who they really are...
But if you would like to chat a little feel free to add me..0 -
What everyone else said...it can be hit or miss. I met a lot of people I had stuff in common with but no chemistry ultimately. The one guy I did end up in a long term relationship with I had chatted with for e very long time before we even met. We ended up moving in together and needless to say, he had some issues in the end. Just gotta make sure you are being honest and don't expect anything less than honesty from the other person - just like real life actually, but there are more opportunities for conversations without physical contact, which is IMHO better because people who hang out in real life can be mislead by their hormones...0
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I just have to chime in and disagree with those that say you will meet a lot of "crazies". That's not true! Online dating is super common now and people online are the same people you see out and about every day!
Yes, meet in public at first but it's a little exaggerated that the guys you might meet are crazy.
I've met at least 50 guys from online dating and only 1 or 2 were crazy lol. Overall it's fun and a great way to meet people!!
Good luck :-)0 -
Dating sites are ****. That's just my own thought and opinion. Good luck.0
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Online dating is not good. Takes a lot of time.0
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I met my honey on plentyoffish and it's been six wonderful years now, plus a ring, a house and a baby. He's my perfect match. But I met a lot of weirdos before I met him. I was actually logging on to delete my profile after a particularly horrific encounter when I saw his cute dimples smiling at me from the screen. I am SO GLAD I gave it one last shot!
However, I agree with ashlinmarie 100% about the rules of engagement. I always met my "dates" during the day, in public. They did not know my phone number and they did not pick me or drive me home. No alcohol was involved ... EVER. And I always told a friend where I was going and when I would be back. Just in case. Because you never know.
OMG -- This is the same thing as me -- I was about to delete my account, and had just been on there deleting messages, but for some reason I gave him a chance!!!
This happened to me too! I found out after we got together that my now husband and I were both ready to give up but gave each other a chance as a 'one last shot' kind of thing. We've been together for almost 3.5 years and married for 7 months!! Plentyoffish is the way to go good luck!! 0 -
Match.com Good Luck and be safe, theres plenty of genuine people on these sites but lots of nutjobs too!!0
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I tried online dating about 5-6 years ago... it's a great way to meet people, plus you can be pretty honest about what you're looking for rather than having to wait the appropriate number of dates to have those conversations.
I'll be honest, I met a few losers... but it was all worth it when I met my husband online! Funny thing was he emailed me on a personals site that I wasn't paying for so I could read his messages but not respond. Luckily he randomly found that we had a mutual friend on facebook after seeing the same picture of me as the personals page. He contacted me on there and the rest is history. Dated a couple months, engaged and married within that first year. When you know you know! Just celebrated 4 years of marriage and I could not be happier!0 -
I really appreciate all the comments and love, thanks all!!!0
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I met my husband on hotornot. We talked on the phone for hours before we met in person. We dated for a month, then I broke it off because we lived too far away and neither one of us had cars. I just couldn't deal with long distance at the time. About a year and a half later when I was done with school, I sent him an email asking if there was any chance we could try to get back together. He said yes and as soon as he came back from his deployment, I went to visit him at the post and we started dating again. We were together a year before we got married and now we are going on 3 years married.
Online dating was good for me because I'm not very good with social situations, so it helped me get to know someone online before we met in person. It's worth giving it a shot if you want. Just practice some basic safety when you do.0 -
I've known friends who've met the love of their life on dating sites. Friends who've met friends. And friends who've had bad experiences.
Sounds just like "real life", doesn't it?
The way I see it: in the "olden days" people met through family, or were otherwise set up. Now it's just high tech.0
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