How mean would it be ...

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24

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  • Dipmom
    Dipmom Posts: 228 Member
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    Look at it as losing an instant 180 pounds or so! :smile:
  • mruszaj
    mruszaj Posts: 105 Member
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    Shhhhh itttttt. Like I think you need to do more than just change your number. More like your identity!

    Ha, right! Thankfully I wasn't involved in any of that stuff, so I think I'm ok.
  • CallieM15
    CallieM15 Posts: 910 Member
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    You make me feel ugly. Damn youre gorgeous....
  • CristaA42962
    CristaA42962 Posts: 45 Member
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    Haha I love it!!
  • PShep17
    PShep17 Posts: 221 Member
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    There's no right way of dealing with a break up. You should do what you feel you need to to get through it. Nothing mean about that, you'd just be putting yourself first.

    Look after yourself :)
  • MeliciousGibson
    MeliciousGibson Posts: 300
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    There are about a half a dozen sarcastic/funny things I could say here, but since I realize you're hurting, I'll try to keep them to a minimum.

    The first one that comes to mind is - screw changing the number, etc. WITNESS PROTECTION! (Hell, I'd love to start over....)

    Seriously, though - he might have "treated you well" and all of that - but he was PRESSURING YOU into doing something. I don't care if it was something as simple as getting a boob job, dying your hair, or driving the getaway car...PRESSURE is NOT GOOD!

    I understand the hurt. I applaud you heartily for doing something good for yourself and your future. He was involved in CRIME? um....yeah....changing your number and disassociating with him is probably a VERY GOOD idea! :D

    Besides, if I listened to every line from every breakup song I've ever heard I wouldn't know whether I should take him back, take back the Jag I bought him, ruin him financially, or steal his dog and ride off into the sunset. So - it's just a song. It's there to sell records and make money. Protect yourself FIRST, girl!
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,443 Member
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    Sever the ties.
  • CristaA42962
    CristaA42962 Posts: 45 Member
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    Ditch the guy, keep up with the fitness, you are gorgeous and can find another man who will still treat you well, but is not a criminal!! You can do it girl!!
  • running_mom
    running_mom Posts: 204 Member
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    You have to do what you have to do! You should worry about you. I was in an abusive relationship for almost 13 years. I thought I could change him. He left me because I wasn't skinny. Not saying I was perfect in the marriage either.

    But, him leaving was the bset thing. I can live the way I want. And so can you. you deserve better than organized crime and lying. If you have kids or want them, thats not the life for either of you.

    Its was nice to want him to change for the better because you say passed the bad stuff. But, don't let people drag you down- in anything!
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 780 Member
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    He's a criminal who was trying to pressure you into marrying him for immigration purposes and you're worried about hurting HIS feelings?

    Block, dump, delete. No contact. Period.

    This. Run the other way and don't look back.
  • mruszaj
    mruszaj Posts: 105 Member
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    I would say change it and erase him from your life, but I know how everyone is asking why you care about his feelings but I mean you were together for FIVE years lol thats a long time! So of course you dont want to hurt his feelings and its better said than done, but I say lose contact :)

    Right, i know it sounds horrible, but 5 years did lead to some feelings..
  • jcpmoore
    jcpmoore Posts: 796 Member
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    The last time someone tried to convince me that such a person was a "good guy," they really regretted it. My friend ended up finding out that the guy was abusing her daughter. He abused her joint accounts because she didn't close them. She finally got it together. The guy is now in prison for killing his wife, whom he married after my friend broke it off.

    Your first sentence is your first mistake: "a man who I thought I could change." You can never change another person. People do change, but you don't have the power to change another. If you don't like who he is now, then dump him, shut the door, close the accounts, change the number, and don't look back. He's not going to change for you.

    Be safe. That's way more important.
    So I just recently ended a 5 year relationship with a man who I thought I could change. He was involved in a European crime ring and was trying to pressure me to marry him in order for him to receive legal status, because he was going through deportation proceedings.

    He's a good guy, treated me very well, but I couldn't get past his involvement in crime and also his illegal immigrant status.. especially since he was trying to force me to marry him since I am a US citizen.

    Anyways, I finally thought to myself that I would never want to start a family or be involved with a man who is involved in organized crime, and I finally broke free of him a few days ago.

    So, the question is : Although I am kind of upset, I feel like his constant texting/calling is upsetting me and getting in the way of my fitness journey.. SO, how mean would it be if I changed my phone number completely, and also cut off/delete any shared accounts, such as : netflix, bank accounts, etc etc?

    I just keep thinking of that Gotye song, "somebody that i used to know", where he says " No you didn't have to stoop so low
    Have your friends collect your records And then change your number.."

    It sounds so bogus :(
  • builtforlife
    builtforlife Posts: 259
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    Just forget about him and do this workout. http://youtu.be/CLni-gagURo
  • Polly758
    Polly758 Posts: 623 Member
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    SO, how mean would it be if I changed my phone number completely, and also cut off/delete any shared accounts, such as : netflix, bank accounts, etc etc?

    I think that's standard break-up procedure... especially the bank accounts, my god, you share a bank account with a man you consider a criminal, then don't close it when you break up with him?
  • mruszaj
    mruszaj Posts: 105 Member
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    There are about a half a dozen sarcastic/funny things I could say here, but since I realize you're hurting, I'll try to keep them to a minimum.

    The first one that comes to mind is - screw changing the number, etc. WITNESS PROTECTION! (Hell, I'd love to start over....)

    Seriously, though - he might have "treated you well" and all of that - but he was PRESSURING YOU into doing something. I don't care if it was something as simple as getting a boob job, dying your hair, or driving the getaway car...PRESSURE is NOT GOOD!

    I understand the hurt. I applaud you heartily for doing something good for yourself and your future. He was involved in CRIME? um....yeah....changing your number and disassociating with him is probably a VERY GOOD idea! :D

    Besides, if I listened to every line from every breakup song I've ever heard I wouldn't know whether I should take him back, take back the Jag I bought him, ruin him financially, or steal his dog and ride off into the sunset. So - it's just a song. It's there to sell records and make money. Protect yourself FIRST, girl!

    LOL, you are quite funny :) Thank you for that. It took me a while to realize, and a part of me was also feeling guilty because I felt that I had to "save him" from being deported, since he had no family here. He was relying on me to prevent his departure into his poor, crime stricken home country, and I can say I honestly felt like I did have to save him.

    But you are right, I have to look out for myself. Screw those songs. I'll just make up my own.
  • mruszaj
    mruszaj Posts: 105 Member
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    Just forget about him and do this workout. http://youtu.be/CLni-gagURo

    hah ohhhhhh yes !!
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
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    It's like a TV show. Good luck with everything
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,250 Member
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    So I just recently ended a 5 year relationship with a man who I thought I could change. He was involved in a European crime ring and was trying to pressure me to marry him in order for him to receive legal status, because he was going through deportation proceedings.

    He's a good guy, treated me very well, but I couldn't get past his involvement in crime and also his illegal immigrant status.. especially since he was trying to force me to marry him since I am a US citizen.

    Anyways, I finally thought to myself that I would never want to start a family or be involved with a man who is involved in organized crime, and I finally broke free of him a few days ago.

    So, the question is : Although I am kind of upset, I feel like his constant texting/calling is upsetting me and getting in the way of my fitness journey.. SO, how mean would it be if I changed my phone number completely, and also cut off/delete any shared accounts, such as : netflix, bank accounts, etc etc?

    I just keep thinking of that Gotye song, "somebody that i used to know", where he says " No you didn't have to stoop so low
    Have your friends collect your records And then change your number.."

    It sounds so bogus :(

    Eh??? Look do yourself a massive favour and change your phone number and delete him out of your life with regards to all the other stuff, including joint accounts etc.

    If you don't you will forever have a connection there, just move on and then he will too.
  • mruszaj
    mruszaj Posts: 105 Member
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    The last time someone tried to convince me that such a person was a "good guy," they really regretted it. My friend ended up finding out that the guy was abusing her daughter. He abused her joint accounts because she didn't close them. She finally got it together. The guy is now in prison for killing his wife, whom he married after my friend broke it off.

    Your first sentence is your first mistake: "a man who I thought I could change." You can never change another person. People do change, but you don't have the power to change another. If you don't like who he is now, then dump him, shut the door, close the accounts, change the number, and don't look back. He's not going to change for you.

    Be safe. That's way more important.

    woah ! thats insane. I would not want to end up like her. I'm so sorry, that is horrible ;( Thank you for your words of wisdom!
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I think you got the answer you were seeking from others. But the main lesson here is YOU cant change anyone....they have to change themselves. If you cant accept them as they are, get out right away. Dont wait. There is always someone else out there that you wont have to "change". :)

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