My gosh

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hbunting86
hbunting86 Posts: 952 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Well

This is slightly random, but nonetheless I'm quite hurt! Obviously like everyone I'm on MFP for a reason - mine is to lose a little weight. My BMI is in the healthy range and I don't excessively eat at all - I'm just not in the shape I was.

Anyway, I said to my boyfriend do you think I need to lose weight?

His reply: I don't know.

What does that MEAN?!
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Replies

  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    it means he doesnt know what the right answer is (in order not to tick you off) so he's pleading the fifth LOLOLOL
  • harrietlg
    harrietlg Posts: 239
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    it means he's too scared to answer, guys don't like to make decisions if either could be the wrong answer. My boyfriend told me when drunk that he was glad I lost weight because he didn't know what to say to me, he knew I had gained a lot of weight and didn't want me to get to a super unhealthy weight. I still don't think he's happy with the way I look now :/ but he won't tell me that.
  • AstyPasty
    AstyPasty Posts: 70 Member
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    it means he doesnt know what the right answer is (in order not to tick you off) so he's pleading the fifth LOLOLOL

    Yup! I was going to answer exactly the same as that!!
  • missikay1970
    missikay1970 Posts: 588 Member
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    dont' ask if you don't want to hear it! LOL
    he probably thinks "maybe" since he's heard you talking about it yourself.
  • hbunting86
    hbunting86 Posts: 952 Member
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    It's annoying as he commented my sister has lost weight and is looking good (I'm 12000 miles away from him at the moment).

    GRRR.
  • bikhi
    bikhi Posts: 175
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    I never ask anyone what they think of my looks, weight, or clothing. That's just asking for someone to have hurt feelings.
  • hbunting86
    hbunting86 Posts: 952 Member
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    He should know better though really.

    I'm 5'3'' and weigh around 130lbs... that's not overweight. I just want to lose maybe 10-15lbs which suits my frame more. The difference was before I had a more active job than at present.

    Maybe I'm being overly sensitive and he's just playing safe.
  • mikek333
    mikek333 Posts: 78 Member
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    The guy knows a trap question when he hears it. Did you also ask him if your jeans make your butt look big? :)
  • missikay1970
    missikay1970 Posts: 588 Member
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    He should know better though really.

    I'm 5'3'' and weigh around 130lbs... that's not overweight. I just want to lose maybe 10-15lbs which suits my frame more. The difference was before I had a more active job than at present.

    Maybe I'm being overly sensitive and he's just playing safe.

    men don't know better (sorry guys) MOST of the time, they have no clue what to say. women tend to go on autopilot and answer "you look fantastic, don't change a thing!" as a go-to response if a friend asks us how she looks. personally, i did not ask my husband ANYTHING about how i looked until i had lost the bulk of my weight. i knew the answer, and i didn't want to hear it. it would have hurt my feelings, and that would have put him in an uncomfortable spot. you should have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy about weight! :smile:
  • HMVOL7409
    HMVOL7409 Posts: 1,588 Member
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    In all fairness to him; you just asked him a loaded gun question. I've seen girls cry at the honesty deal where they want their BF to tell them if they need to lose weight or do I look fat? They get trapped bc too many times girls ask, they tell their honest opinions and boom they're hit with utter craziness and hostility. Your his GF, completely different from his sister. Maybe he didn't know if you needed to or not, maybe he didn't know how you react if he was honest. If your frustrated with him now how would you really feel if he said yes? Ask yourself that. Also in the end, it's about you not him so who really cares what he thinks. You make you happy.
  • hbunting86
    hbunting86 Posts: 952 Member
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    Not loaded at all, we work on honesty - I have never asked him about how I look etc. I was reacting to something someone said about 'too much good living'... so I just asked a question. My bf is a chef, he's rather rotund himself and wouldnt care if I said so - I love him for him, if he's happy i'm happy. I was just a bit intrigued with what he said. He's seen me weigh a HELL of a lot less (like anorexic-like tiny) and then normal. It's just confusing for me I guess!
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    Don't ask your BF a question like that. It puts him on the spot and is a no-win situation for him. That is really not fair.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    He should know better though really.

    I'm 5'3'' and weigh around 130lbs... that's not overweight. I just want to lose maybe 10-15lbs which suits my frame more. The difference was before I had a more active job than at present.

    Maybe I'm being overly sensitive and he's just playing safe.
    I think it is YOU who should know better than to ask. Especially since you say you are not overweight. What you think is what counts.
  • hbunting86
    hbunting86 Posts: 952 Member
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    I was asking for an honest opinion - no point bashing me for it... like I said we work on honesty, it's not a loaded question. I was just a bit concerned that he's overly interested in the fact my sister has lost weight and keeps commenting on it.
  • sandrajune72
    sandrajune72 Posts: 550
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    He doesn't want to hurt your feelings honey!!

    My fella always said he loved me and found me sexy whatever weight I was, but I think he's secretly happy that I'm slimmer now! :laugh: He would never say though, that's what you do when you love someone! :happy:
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I was asking for an honest opinion - no point bashing me for it... like I said we work on honesty, it's not a loaded question. I was just a bit concerned that he's overly interested in the fact my sister has lost weight and keeps commenting on it.
    I was absolutely not bashing you, just giving you what you asked for--an honest opinion. It was not my intent to come across the way you apparently perceived.

    This is obviously a very sensitive topic for you. Please try to read what I said without defensiveness.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    I was asking for an honest opinion - no point bashing me for it... like I said we work on honesty, it's not a loaded question. I was just a bit concerned that he's overly interested in the fact my sister has lost weight and keeps commenting on it.

    I'm wondering if what you really wanted was reassurance that he finds you attractive? Sometimes people take each other for granted in relationships and need a little nudge to get the compliments flowing again.
  • PhyllisAnnM
    PhyllisAnnM Posts: 6
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    He loves you first of all or his response would have been something more like, "hell to the yah".:love: I would say he doesn't want to hurt your feelings but thinks probably you could stand to either lose a few or get more toned. He loves you no matter what!
  • Darlingir
    Darlingir Posts: 437
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    Don't ask if you think you can't handle the answer...
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    I'm curious what your reaction would have been if he would have said "Yeah, it wouldn't hurt if you lost 20 pounds".

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