My gosh

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2

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  • Elizabeth_M
    Elizabeth_M Posts: 562 Member
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    Or, some guys just don't really have a clue. If you asked him how much you weighed, I bet he'd be way off, in either direction. No concept of weight.

    Also, I've learned....don't ask a question if you're not prepared for the answer whatever that may be. :wink:
  • hbunting86
    hbunting86 Posts: 952 Member
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    Lol I'm prepared for the answer good or bad - I don't know isn't an answer is my point!
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Lol I'm prepared for the answer good or bad - I don't know isn't an answer is my point!

    I don't understand why you are 'quite hurt" about "I don't know" if it's just that that is not an answer. (I'm not trying to mess with you, just trying to understand where you are coming from.)
  • AquaFitQueen
    AquaFitQueen Posts: 218 Member
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    It means it is an unfair question! Only YOU and your DR know if you need to lose weight or get into shape. To a dude you might as well ask him "Does this make my *kitten* look fat"? Totally unfair on him.
  • EternalJourney
    EternalJourney Posts: 138
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    If he said "yes" to your question he probably thought you would have been hurt, and if he said "no" he probably thought you would not bother exercising or lose any weight. So by saying IDK hes just like i dont know, its what you think..

    my 2 cents ;)
  • bm99
    bm99 Posts: 597 Member
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    Why would you ask him that unless you truly wanted to know what he thought? What if he had said yes?

    Poor guy.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Also a difference between "Do I need to?" and "Would I look better if I did?" I know I don't need to lose weight, but I'd be happier a little bit less with the way I look.
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
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    He should know better though really.

    I'm 5'3'' and weigh around 130lbs... that's not overweight. I just want to lose maybe 10-15lbs which suits my frame more. The difference was before I had a more active job than at present.

    Maybe I'm being overly sensitive and he's just playing safe.

    This is totally unfair, darlin'. You ask the question, and now you're getting mad at him because he "should have known better" than to answer it? If he had refused to answer at all (which is practically what "I don't know" is, as other posters suggested) would you have been hurt by that too, assuming he wasn't answering in order to hide his opinion that you're HUGE?

    Why did you really ask? You say you're prepared for "good or bad" but can you honestly say if he amends his answer to "yes" or even "maybe a little but.." that you're not going to be hurt/angry over that too? It's a set-up I'm not sure he can get safely out of if he tries.

    I don't mean to be harsh, I just don't understand why anyone asks questions to which they don't want the answers. Unless there had been some significant change in the way my guy treats me/our physical relationship, I'd never ask this question. Even then, I don't think I'd phrase it that way.
  • sherry9300
    sherry9300 Posts: 149 Member
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    Move on and don't put him in that spot again. Totally unfair. You should give him kudos for not flat out lying to you just to pacify you (which actually seems to be what you wanted).
  • ChelseaM18
    ChelseaM18 Posts: 303
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    He's probably very happy with the way you are, just panicked and didn't know what to say when you asked :)

    There's never a right answer for it :D
  • nailqueen74
    nailqueen74 Posts: 38 Member
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    Don't ever ask your boyfriend/husband if you need to lose weight. That is not fair to ask. You need to do it for yourself, not anyone else.
  • Koshkaxo
    Koshkaxo Posts: 332 Member
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    I asked my bf the same thing, and he told me Yes, I needed to lose weight. His answer hurt a bit, but overall Im happier he was honest with me. Ask your.man again and reassure him you wont be angry with him, and then make sure you arent! Haha
  • Robin_Bin
    Robin_Bin Posts: 1,046 Member
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    You say you'd be ok with his answer either way. But you asked us a question; the general consensus in the answers you're getting is that the question you asked him was a "no-win / unfair" question and you seem to be rejecting the answer. If this is any indication, then no, you really wouldn't be ok either way with his answer. In fact, his "I don't know" may be his true answer... he may not have thought about your weight as much as you do. Many men are pretty clueless about how much women weigh or "should weigh".

    You're hurt by this answer, which could be his true answer. You reject the answers you're getting here. Think again about whether you're truly open to honesty and any answer he may give you.

    Also important here (as others have pointed out) is that his answer to your question is no where near as important as yours. It's your body. Do you think it would be healthier or feel better?

    Good luck with whatever you decide.
  • PayneAS
    PayneAS Posts: 669 Member
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    I was just a bit concerned that he's overly interested in the fact my sister has lost weight and keeps commenting on it.

    That's probably what you need to talk to him about then. Tell him that it bothers you/upsets you that he's commenting on your sister's weight loss. Ask him why he keeps mentioning it.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    It's annoying as he commented my sister has lost weight and is looking good (I'm 12000 miles away from him at the moment).

    GRRR.

    He's not sleeping with your sister. Talking to you requires much more diplomacy.

    [I just read the above comment. Whoops.]
  • FlittyGetsFit
    FlittyGetsFit Posts: 94
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    I asked my husband what your boyfriend might have meant. His reply was that boyfriend only wanted to say what you wanted to hear, and didn't know what you wanted to hear!

    When last year I asked my husband the same question, he replied, I think you're completely beautiful, but if you think you need to lose weight I'll support you. I thought that was a pretty much perfect answer!
  • sneekspeete
    sneekspeete Posts: 136
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    That's like asking a dude "does this make me look fat? "There is no right answer for him! Dammed if u do, n damned if u don't
  • stapler689
    stapler689 Posts: 2 Member
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    Do not ask a man. Because he feels no answer is the right answer........
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
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    It's not his choice. Only you can say if you need to change something about yourself. So IMO, he was spot on.
  • shelleyannefriend
    shelleyannefriend Posts: 11 Member
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    That's a leading question and there is no right answer. It's like when the prosecutor asks the defendant "do you still beat your wife?" Either way, the answer is potentially fatal to your relationship.

    We all need support from our partners but really, if they are who we think they are, they will love us no matter what.

    THe MFP club needs to support you so you don't go to your BF for weight loss support. Most people don't care what we eat or what we weigh and they really are not interested in our obsession. That's why we are here for each other.

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