Why I Hate Dating

EpiGaiaRepens

WHOA!! Stop the boat!!!

Texting is how people hook up now????

Weird!

I guess I'm old school.

My BF is too. OUr first "date" wasn't called a date. It was called "lets go snowboarding."
Our second date wasn't called a date, it was called "lets go surfing!"
OUr third date wasn't a date, it was called "Stand up paddle boarding!"

Actually, we only call them dates in hindsight. Never when we were planning them. I thought this was the way it was done!!!

Texting might be how the kids do it, i guess.
I do it on the beach

ONE03

I do it on the beach

People don't have to text, if they don't want to. I know some of my dates wanted to start doing the whole texting, calling, etc... before meeting up. I just tell them "I prefer to meet people in person rather than texting, calling, etc.... I'm sorry, and I hope you understand."

Either people stop contact immediately or accommodate me. If after we meet up, and they want to start that, I just take a longggggggggggggg time to reply (maybe a week or 2, if i don't forget :laugh: ) and will only reply immediately for scheduling.

yoovie

After two long term relationships that covered the span of 17 years, I started dating. It was not what I thought it would be but it wasn't bad either. I enjoyed being single, having the freedom to flirt and not feel guilty, having options that I could actually exercise, and a few other things I will not mention:blushing: , but it took a a while for me to learn how to date...you have to ask yourself
1.What is your motive, are you looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now
If you are looking for Mr. Right, then you should only accept dates from Men, whom you could actually see having a relationship with, and they have to have more than some nice qualities...it has to be more like a deal with him and ALL his qualities good and bad( I compiled a list of all the things I was looking for in a mate...lol )
If your looking for Mr. Right Now, then you should accept dates from Men who want to show you a good time, have fun and just want to "hang out"

Wait...Mr. Right Now can hide in Mr. Right clothing...

Hang out does not mean SEX...it doesn not mean Right Now...

How can you get to know someone truely without simply hanging out...We are in the midst of social network and texting...

Dating as we use to know it ...IS over...Want to get to know someone you can damn near google them...but it's all paper..

Hanging out with a guy is the true way to get to know him...And use multiple environments..

Museum, Drinks at a bar, Movies, Bowling, Fight Party, Hiking, etc...etc....but make it fun and laugh....LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH.. if he is boring...lighten the mood...Make a joke tell funny stories...but for goodness sake don't be all out there checking boxes to see if he is Mr. Right...

I forgot to mentioned that not only should men be hanging with multiple chicks...girls should be hanging with multiple guys...

Once again....hanging out doesn't mean sex....and if a dude only want to hangout at the house...call up cute guy number 2 and hang with him...

I agree with every part of this. I am so glad to have run across you Mr M.

JodiSW

Dating as we use to know it ...IS over...Want to get to know someone you can damn near google them...but it's all paper..

Hanging out with a guy is the true way to get to know him...And use multiple environments..

Museum, Drinks at a bar, Movies, Bowling, Fight Party, Hiking, etc...etc....but make it fun and laugh....LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH.. if he is boring...lighten the mood...Make a joke tell funny stories...but for goodness sake don't be all out there checking boxes to see if he is Mr. Right...

I forgot to mentioned that not only should men be hanging with multiple chicks...girls should be hanging with multiple guys...

Once again....hanging out doesn't mean sex....and if a dude only want to hangout at the house...call up cute guy number 2 and hang with him...

"Dating" or "hanging out" it seems the same to me. You're getting to know someone.

I've dated/hung out with/made new friends with a lot of people. Ha! I know that sounds bad but it's not! Most people are beautiful in some way even if you don't want to spend your life with them. Or even another evening.

I agree with the above poster when he says to "lighten the mood if he's boring"...and I'd add "but don't go out with him again". If someone bores you, it's not your job to entertain them. Find someone else. It doesn't make them a bad person. Just not your cup of tea. And there's lots of different flavors of tea in the world for both of you.

Get out there and hunt your delight! You deserve it!

carolyn002

Hey, I agree make the get-to-know you period fun-fun-fun! Have a good time! That's what life is about! ..........to start with, anyway.

I met my guy friends and we went out as a couple, and in groups of friends with a common interest.

We met and instantly had something in common. For me it was learning to glidein an aircraft, acting on stage in an acting group, canoeing, scouting, ..... you get the idea! any comon interest will do - and it doesn't need to be rocket science!

This meant we all had a common interest - and I think this is half the battle when wanting to get to know someone more - you always have something to chat about and circumstances that have happened to laugh about and be creative with, common friendships and acquanitences.

If a relationship doesn't develop, that's fine, you still have friends to hang out with. If a relationship does develop - it will happen naturally, and is not forced or created, and in time relationships whether friends , acquaintance or a partner for life or a short while can develop and blossum into something beautiful. It can be fun upon the way.

I never dated anyone! No - never

My relationship just gradually developed. I wasn't looking for a partner (although I did want to have one at some stage) - the relationship just happened - without pressure. I was just hanging out with people I felt comfortable with and liked being with - enjoying myself.

The first interest group I joined - was fun and I had great time and fantastic friends - that did'nt develop into anything. so that was fine - I moved on and eventually It all started to happen.

Take the pressure off and enjoy your life while making great lifelong friends and while youre having a great time - BING!!!!! that special person may just be there for you......................................- and you for them!

This worked for me.................................... I am 59 years old,................... married to my best friend for 36 years, ...............have 2 great kids and 4 grand kids........ and I still have my life long best friend........................... with lots of mutual friends as well .................... and my most special lover and companion.

Life hasnt been easy for us - lots of ups and downs - but I can alway turn to my very best special friend and talk with him .......what more could I want?

What more could I want ..........my lover....my partner.....my confidant. :blushing:

RaeLB

I'm not a fan of dating either.

All the guys I have had relationships with I was friends with first. The last one, and the most special to me, was my friend for 5 years before we started a relationship.

I like getting to know guys as friends because no one is playing a role... because there is nothing at stake. I feel like you get to know someone in a more genuine way.

I certainly do not discourage people from dating, some people enjoy it. But as for me, I like getting to know someone as a friend & if I think it could really go somewhere I will take the next step.

I am also looking for some very unique qualities and I can determine very quickly if someone has those or not. So I don't want to waste their time or mine.

That being said if a guy who seemed to fit what I am looking for came a long & asked me out on a date I wouldn't say no. I definitely wouldn't want to miss out.

LAWoman79

i'd suggest you start adopting some cats, because if you write off dating forever those will be your only company...

Lol...^^^ this. Couldn't have said it better myself. The last guy I was dating left out the very important fact about being MARRIED. Do I think all guys are jerks for this? No...Am I going to give up on men and dating? Hell no. And I'm sure as hell not getting any cats.

Kristy_Elizabeth

I love dating. I'm just looking to have fun when I'm dating though. If it's not fun and I'm not feeling it I move on quickly. You get to three dates or more and there becomes an expectation that you are headed toward a relationship. I don't agonize over it and don't worry about it. If someone is crushed over being dumped or friend zoned after a couple of dates then I figure it was just a good call on my part. Next! =D

You didn't really ask for advice, but here it is: i wouldn't consider texting with guys dating. If a guy wants to date you he wants to see you. It can be hanging out or going out, but it is in person. If you are seeing one and they are texting you that is a different ballgame, but if they are only texting I would consider that a friend or sexting maybe a virtual booty call but definitely not dating in either case.

Dating can be fun and you are really super cute! Ignore the guys who are too lazy to actually spend time with you and hopefully you'll open yourself up to having some real fun.

7bel0

thoughts?

Original writer is still in early twenties but has an outdated view of dating norms today.

Totally agree with this

I have a friend at work who would have DATING issues...and then one day I told her..."Stop callng it dating" Ask the dude to hang out..Crack some jokes...if you call it hang out...you will be more free to be yourself...Don't put so much pressure on it...Don't ask too many personal stuff right off...Just have fun...enjoy your surroundings and tell funny stories...

Repeat cycle while adding little by little personal info


then you will grow to appreciate each other

May end up married or Bumpin uglies

who knows

Hey Mercenary - You seem pretty knowledgeable... Tell me what is the difference between seeing someone and dating them?? If the guy isn't seeing anyone else and you're not seeing anyone else. You hang out 2 or 3 or 4 times a week and it's been going on for a couple of months, what the hell is such a big deal about calling it "dating"?? Why would the guy be so against the "label"? Keeping his options open for something better?

Want the answer! Here is the answer….You ask…That’s right ladies…If you don’t know what the relationship is…Ask…And…don’t get mad or upset if the answer isn’t what you expected.

Don’t assume you are dating, exclusive, the only one, the future wifey, the only cut buddy…

If I am hanging with a girl 3 to 4 times a week and it has been going on for a couple of months and she is the only one I am into...I will bring up making it exclusive...BUT...if I have another quality chick on the side...I will ride it out until either

a) One ask for an exclusive relationship
b) I am ready to be with only one

If you don't communicate then you will be looking dumb sun...

so ask what's up...and if it's not what you want to hear...than hopefully you didn't give it up too fast with out laying down some ground rules..

^^ALL of this!

Dating sucks. It does. But unless you want to be alone for the rest of your entire life, then you date. You hang out and meet new people. Unfortunately, if you don't ask or lay some ground rules, some guys keep their "options open" in case the "next best thing" comes around. Been there, done that. It's not a good feeling. But on the OTHERHAND, some guys are shy and don't want to ask YOU about the "label" idea because they are waiting for you to bring it up because they want to seem "manly" and that they don't have feelings like that. blah blah! I've seen it all.

All I have to say is try to have fun. Don't look for someone. Let them come to you. Good things come to those who wait.

Assassins_Angel

what you said about settling down at 23, yeah i settled at 19, thats the age i was when my Fiancé proposed to me we have had a long distance relationship for 6 and a half years nd have lived together for almost a year it will be our 8 year anniversary in december and i couldnt be happier im glad he proposed and in the next few years we will be setting a date and planning our wedding i loved dating before i met mark it was always alot of fun and i learned alot about love from the men i was with

Elizabeth_C34

Meh, you're 21. Go find some hobbies you enjoy and meet some people through that. Meetup groups are great. Online dating is difficult no matter what age you are, though it can be really fun. I met my husband on OKCupid. I ended becoming very good friends with several of my exes that I met via online dating as well. It is important to know what kind of person you want to date and have high but reasonable standards and stick to it. Don't just date every guy that asks you out especially if you don't feel like he's someone you could enjoy spending time with.

Be patient and open minded, and you'll find someone for you.