harassment in the workplace? please help?
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Replies
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Hi there,
A certain manager I work with is just a downright *kitten*.
He makes all the girls feel very uncomfortable whilst at work.
Eg today he was saying that i didn't have a boyfriend because of my looks and saying that i obviously was a bad kisser and f***er! how the hell would he know? Other than the fact that is degrading that is complete and utter inappropriate conversation for the workplace. He says this sort of stuff to all the different girls there and he tried to fire one girl because he touched her *kitten* by "accident" and she was upset and talking to her friend about it. He also always talks about his $ex life whilst in work when all the girls are around.
He is just a manager now, but becoming a store manager soon, idk what to do because he said he would fire me if I went to higher management, and I really need the money.
What would you do?
I work in this field, so here's my advise.
1. Tell him to stop. The first thing you need to make clear is that you oppose this behavior and find it offensive.
2. Tell his Manager or Human Resources about the behavior.
I agree documenting and dating everything that happens that is inappropriate is VERY good to do. It will help you later on.
3. If there is no one in #2 and you're afraid he'll fire you immediately for #1 - contact your local/state Human/Civil Rights Commission or contact EEOC (US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission). Sexual harassment is against the law and you have every right to persue this through the appropriate administrative or legal channels.
If you don't wish to file with EEOC or your state Human Rights Commission, you can hire an attorney and file against him in circuit court.
NOTE: If there is a HR person or higher manager, you should try to use that route first. They are required by law to take prompt remedial action to end the harassment.
NOTE: As a manager, the company is now liable for his actions, so they will want to do something about it if they are smart.
NOTE: Along with the laws for harassment there is a provision against retaliation for opposing harassment or seeking your legal rights under that law. It's referred to as retaliation or reprisal on the part of the employer if they fire you because you report discrimination and/or harassment to them or to some administrative agency or court. If you file a case and they find out and fire you, you can add a charge of retailiation to your complaint against them.
If you have questions, feel free to message me.0 -
Everything that everyone else has said plus I'm sure at least one of you have a phone that can do video. Noone can deny when it is being shown on video. Higher ups NEED to know what they are promoting . I don't really think they want a dumbass piece of s&*% representing your company.
Stick it to him but make sure you have a lot of evidence and statements from the other girls if they choose to help get rid of him.
Let us know how it goes
Good Luck, we're cheering for you0 -
Wow, I thought some of my past supervisors were bad. You have to report him. Do you know whether he has spoken to anyone else like this?0
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What a moron :-( report him!0
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Document document and document everything!!!
This, and you need a witness too it. Time, place, emails etc, keep it all, then go to HR. Shocking way for a manager to behave. What age is IT, 15?
^^THIS.0 -
Document document and document everything!!!
This X 100.
Record what he says if you can. I know some phones record. Then take all the evidence to HR.
You don't have to work with an *kitten* like that.0 -
Hi there,
A certain manager I work with is just a downright *kitten*.
He makes all the girls feel very uncomfortable whilst at work.
Eg today he was saying that i didn't have a boyfriend because of my looks and saying that i obviously was a bad kisser and f***er! how the hell would he know? Other than the fact that is degrading that is complete and utter inappropriate conversation for the workplace. He says this sort of stuff to all the different girls there and he tried to fire one girl because he touched her *kitten* by "accident" and she was upset and talking to her friend about it. He also always talks about his $ex life whilst in work when all the girls are around.
He is just a manager now, but becoming a store manager soon, idk what to do because he said he would fire me if I went to higher management, and I really need the money.
What would you do?
I work in this field, so here's my advise.
1. Tell him to stop. The first thing you need to make clear is that you oppose this behavior and find it offensive.
2. Tell his Manager or Human Resources about the behavior.
I agree documenting and dating everything that happens that is inappropriate is VERY good to do. It will help you later on.
3. If there is no one in #2 and you're afraid he'll fire you immediately for #1 - contact your local/state Human/Civil Rights Commission or contact EEOC (US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission). Sexual harassment is against the law and you have every right to persue this through the appropriate administrative or legal channels.
If you don't wish to file with EEOC or your state Human Rights Commission, you can hire an attorney and file against him in circuit court.
NOTE: If there is a HR person or higher manager, you should try to use that route first. They are required by law to take prompt remedial action to end the harassment.
NOTE: As a manager, the company is now liable for his actions, so they will want to do something about it if they are smart.
NOTE: Along with the laws for harassment there is a provision against retaliation for opposing harassment or seeking your legal rights under that law. It's referred to as retaliation or reprisal on the part of the employer if they fire you because you report discrimination and/or harassment to them or to some administrative agency or court. If you file a case and they find out and fire you, you can add a charge of retailiation to your complaint against them.
If you have questions, feel free to message me.
FABULOUS INPUT. USE IT.0 -
And, for the record, be sure to know the laws about recording in your state. Some states allow recording if only one party knows about it, other states require that you inform the other party that it is being taped. If you are in a two-party state and you record him without his permission, it cannot be used as evidence in court. In lieu of recording, collect the names of as many witnesses or other victims of his harassment as possible to back up your story. Many a case has been won without recorded proof of sexual harassment. (NOTE: However, if he ever sends you an email, text, or leaves a voicemail for you that you feel helps your story - save it - it is admissable in court!)0
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From my HR background (I am an HR Manager), here is my piece:
- does your company have a sexual harrassment policy? if so, you need to follow their procedure for reporting. I disagree with recording him if your state laws make that illegal as that can backfire you. Check on this.
- To be harrassment, it must be unwelcome. With that said, you need to clearly tell him you don't like his behavior and he needs to stop. Your best bet, since you guys don't have a lot of chances to have witnesses around is to give it to him in writing, CC your HR department and I would even copy his Manager.
- Make a formal report to HR, follow your procedure in place.
- One of the first questions HR will ask you is if you have witnesses. Again, by knowing your Harrassment Policy you will know if your coworkers have duty to report this behavior. Don't be afraid to mention their names, even if they don't want nothing to do with it. If your company is serious, they will treat this matter with confidentiality and without retaliating.
- I agree with others, keep copies of all documents you hand to HR or this guy, make a note of date/time you hand them out and who you gave them too, keep a note of any witnesses of this exchange. (this is just extra precautions, again, if your company is serious, you don't have to worry about missing papers).
- if that does not stop and nothing happens, ditch the company and sue their *kitten*! Make a report with the EEOC and the Department of Labor immediately. Your notes will become handy here. No company want to go through this hell, so I hope they do their job to avoid this measure.
Good luck girl, hope things get better for you and your HR department acts professionally in this case. Keep us updated. In fairness to my kind (HR Managers), we can't fix a situation if we don't know about it!! Give them a chance.
Hope this helps!0 -
Go to Human Resources Immediately. And encourage your peers to follow suit. Let this dirtbag know "enough is enough" and do it in a professional way. OMG DON'T LET HIM WIN BY INTIMIDATION. I am a manager and EVERY YEAR we are required to acknowlege we have received training on Workplace Harassment. As a manager, he represents the entire company. Not only can you or another employee sue him for sexual harassmant and creating a hostile work environment, if you go to Human Resources or to another manager and action isn't taken then the whole company, including individual managment staff may be held legally responsible for continuing to allow it. AND you are protected legally against retaliation. THAT conversation you described is completely inappropriate conversation. Isn't there someone else in your group that would make a better manager than this guy? TAKE HIM DOWN at least a good notch or two.0
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And, yes, I was assuming you were in the states (silly me!). If you are outside of the US, I am unsure of the laws that might protect you against harassment, but be sure to call someone in your country who might know if such laws exist and how to go about exercising your rights under those laws.0
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what!?? I'd press charges, that's what. I think I'd get a restraining order too- have him removed from my vicinity. Or maybe I'd kick his *kitten* and let HIM get a restraining order ... depends on my mood
It would be nice to get the law involved if you don't get any attention otherwise.
Also, if this is affecting customers somehow, that really gets attention. The boss may or may not care about you, but they want customers to be happy. We were harassed at work and when I started reporting specific customer reactions and interactions with our bully, that got attention!
Girl, you could OWN this store if you got the right lawyer
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I believe your state is a two party consent state, which means that both parties must be informed if the conversation is being recorded, so I would not record the harassment. You could give any lawyer that specialized in employment law a call and they could tell you for sure.
However you do want to document what is said and done. Go with your memory for things that have happened in the past with rough dates and keep more exact notes from here on out.
Take what you have to the owners or HR office. Once you have told them about it they are obligated to investigate your claims. If they don't they can be held liable.
You can also fill a claim with the EEO office in your state.
Connecticut Commission on Human Rights and Opportunities (FEPA)
21 Grant Street
Hartford, CT 06106
Phone: 860-566-4895
Fax: 860-246-5068
TTY: 860-541-3459
Website: http://www.state.ct.us/chro/
Give them everything you are giving the owners/HR and keep a copy for yourself.
If you get fired after complaining to management or filing the EEO claim, you can hire that lawyer and laugh all the way to the bank:)0 -
And, yes, I was assuming you were in the states (silly me!). If you are outside of the US, I am unsure of the laws that might protect you against harassment, but be sure to call someone in your country who might know if such laws exist and how to go about exercising your rights under those laws.
haha its all g everyone does on this site!
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I believe your state is a two party consent state, which means that both parties must be informed if the conversation is being recorded, so I would not record the harassment. You could give any lawyer that specialized in employment law a call and they could tell you for sure.
However you do want to document what is said and done. Go with your memory for things that have happened in the past with rough dates and keep more exact notes from here on out.
Take what you have to the owners or HR office. Once you have told them about it they are obligated to investigate your claims. If they don't they can be held liable.
You can also fill a claim with the EEO office in your state.
Connecticut Commission on Human Rights and Opportunities (FEPA)
21 Grant Street
Hartford, CT 06106
Phone: 860-566-4895
Fax: 860-246-5068
TTY: 860-541-3459
Website: http://www.state.ct.us/chro/
Give them everything you are giving the owners/HR and keep a copy for yourself.
If you get fired after complaining to management or filing the EEO claim, you can hire that lawyer and laugh all the way to the bank:)
CT stands for canberra just saying.. 0 -
This isn't acceptable behavior and should be nipped in the butt before he gets his own store. If it were me, I'd give him a good hard soccer kick to the balls. It's sexual harassment and no body should have to accept it. I agree with everyone else you should report him. Do it anonymously if you have to. BTW If he's bragging about his sex life he's probably not getting any and spends his nights on the internet with a box of kleenex and some hand lotion.0
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Documentation is good. Copy everything. Eventually, he will slip up and make these comments in front of others, but why wait?
Years ago, I worked with a delightful asswipe who acted the exact same way. He left me alone after he told me that he'd asked the ob-gyn to put a couple of extra stitches in his wife after she had her baby. My response was a cool, slightly pitying, "Really, teeny peeny? Give your wife my condolences." He continued being horrible with everyone else, though. His fatal slip was when he told another manager, in front of me and another girl, that the only place for a woman was on her knees in front of a man. We marched in lockstep, straight to the office and told the store manager we wanted HR and the District Office. He was gone in 3 hours.
Much later, another gem came through. Sadly for him, I had access to the security cameras. He went away, too.
Don't let him bully you. He sounds like a world-class creep.0 -
Go to HR. Include the fact that he threatened to fire you if you reported him. His behavior is illegal. He is harassing you and creating a hostile work environment. Threatening to fire you for standing up for your rights under the law is also illegal.
As for your company, they need to know about this. By threatening you if you report him, I'm sure he has violated the law and can (and should) be fired. He is creating a liability for the company, and they need to know about him.0 -
Hi there,
A certain manager I work with is just a downright *kitten*.
He makes all the girls feel very uncomfortable whilst at work.
Eg today he was saying that i didn't have a boyfriend because of my looks and saying that i obviously was a bad kisser and f***er! how the hell would he know? Other than the fact that is degrading that is complete and utter inappropriate conversation for the workplace. He says this sort of stuff to all the different girls there and he tried to fire one girl because he touched her *kitten* by "accident" and she was upset and talking to her friend about it. He also always talks about his $ex life whilst in work when all the girls are around.
He is just a manager now, but becoming a store manager soon, idk what to do because he said he would fire me if I went to higher management, and I really need the money.
What would you do?
I work in this field, so here's my advise.
1. Tell him to stop. The first thing you need to make clear is that you oppose this behavior and find it offensive.
2. Tell his Manager or Human Resources about the behavior.
I agree documenting and dating everything that happens that is inappropriate is VERY good to do. It will help you later on.
3. If there is no one in #2 and you're afraid he'll fire you immediately for #1 - contact your local/state Human/Civil Rights Commission or contact EEOC (US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission). Sexual harassment is against the law and you have every right to persue this through the appropriate administrative or legal channels.
If you don't wish to file with EEOC or your state Human Rights Commission, you can hire an attorney and file against him in circuit court.
NOTE: If there is a HR person or higher manager, you should try to use that route first. They are required by law to take prompt remedial action to end the harassment.
NOTE: As a manager, the company is now liable for his actions, so they will want to do something about it if they are smart.
NOTE: Along with the laws for harassment there is a provision against retaliation for opposing harassment or seeking your legal rights under that law. It's referred to as retaliation or reprisal on the part of the employer if they fire you because you report discrimination and/or harassment to them or to some administrative agency or court. If you file a case and they find out and fire you, you can add a charge of retailiation to your complaint against them.
If you have questions, feel free to message me.
FABULOUS INPUT. USE IT.
Yes. If you report it to managment and either 1) get fired for reporting or 2) the harassment continues then the company is then also on the line for creating a hostile working environment.0 -
Hi there,
A certain manager I work with is just a downright *kitten*.
He makes all the girls feel very uncomfortable whilst at work.
Eg today he was saying that i didn't have a boyfriend because of my looks and saying that i obviously was a bad kisser and f***er! how the hell would he know? Other than the fact that is degrading that is complete and utter inappropriate conversation for the workplace. He says this sort of stuff to all the different girls there and he tried to fire one girl because he touched her *kitten* by "accident" and she was upset and talking to her friend about it. He also always talks about his $ex life whilst in work when all the girls are around.
He is just a manager now, but becoming a store manager soon, idk what to do because he said he would fire me if I went to higher management, and I really need the money.
What would you do?
I work in this field, so here's my advise.
1. Tell him to stop. The first thing you need to make clear is that you oppose this behavior and find it offensive.
2. Tell his Manager or Human Resources about the behavior.
I agree documenting and dating everything that happens that is inappropriate is VERY good to do. It will help you later on.
3. If there is no one in #2 and you're afraid he'll fire you immediately for #1 - contact your local/state Human/Civil Rights Commission or contact EEOC (US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission). Sexual harassment is against the law and you have every right to persue this through the appropriate administrative or legal channels.
If you don't wish to file with EEOC or your state Human Rights Commission, you can hire an attorney and file against him in circuit court.
NOTE: If there is a HR person or higher manager, you should try to use that route first. They are required by law to take prompt remedial action to end the harassment.
NOTE: As a manager, the company is now liable for his actions, so they will want to do something about it if they are smart.
NOTE: Along with the laws for harassment there is a provision against retaliation for opposing harassment or seeking your legal rights under that law. It's referred to as retaliation or reprisal on the part of the employer if they fire you because you report discrimination and/or harassment to them or to some administrative agency or court. If you file a case and they find out and fire you, you can add a charge of retailiation to your complaint against them.
If you have questions, feel free to message me.
FABULOUS INPUT. USE IT.
Yes. If you report it to managment and either 1) get fired for reporting or 2) the harassment continues then the company is then also on the line for creating a hostile working environment.
In the states they'd already be on the line, because the person is a manager, which automatically makes the company liable. If fired (or any other adverse action happens as a result of reporting it), however, there would be additional charges to file for retaliation because a person tried to exercise their rights under those laws.0
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