50 Shades of Kinky Fackery

Bumdrahp

Personal opinion, they're complete junk. Horribly written, stupid story line, and the sex isn't even remotely hot. But hey, whatever gets you goin'.

AGREED! The writing was horrific to say the least! She needed to get herself a thesaurus! I'm pretty sure if I read "bemused" or "mercurial" one more time I would scream. Plus, the plot is completely over the top. Don't get me wrong. I'm into some Kinky F-ery but this was unrealistic. Grey was f'd up. I don't find it plausible that he would do a complete 180 in a month and get "better"

LOL!! I was feeling the SAME way about " mercurial"

buffybabe

And this review sums it up

Did a teenager write this?

I really don't like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review.

About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old's fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he's not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he's never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their "dream man" and came up with Christian Grey.

Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she's climaxing on every page.

Then there's the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering "Jeez" about something or another. Then there's the use of "shades of". He's "fifty shades of @#$%% up," "she turned 7 shades of crimson," "he's ten shades of x,y, and z." Seriously?

The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don't know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez!

http://www.amazon.com/review/R2JF7E91JJVHAT/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0345803485&nodeID=283155&store=books

this^^ is exactly how I felt...I love a good erotic story, but this one was poorly written and dull

kerricolby

If I die tomorrow, the only thing I will regret is reading this trilogy. The relationship between the two is insecure, controlling, and borderline abusive. I find the amount of times he was able to perform in a row more far-fetched than vampires. The third book was a chore to read and I'm so glad to never have to read it again.

mlewon

i've never read twilight.. so is it worth picking the first one up?

itgeekwoman

I suppose there might be some small resembelance to Twilight, except in Twilight there is no pre marital coitus or any other kinky fackery. The love story/romance is the part that is there. As it is in many movies and books.

I've read all three of the books and found it a good read and enjoyed the storyline to a point.

Alexstrasza

http://50shadesofsuck.tumblr.com/

jinxie269

I'm almost done with the 2nd book... they are ok but the sex scenes are so repetitive it is like you are reading the same one copied and pasted on the next page... it would be different if there was some variety but its the same big O with the shouting of each others names and what not... I'm a psych student so I am compelled to see what happens with Christian and Anna and how they will work their relationship out but am not sure if I have the stomach to finish... I never read Twilight so I can't compare, I am an Anita Blake (Laurel K. Hamilton) fan... besides vampires don't sparkle...

kpopa

Black Dagger Brotherhood is soooo much better than 50 Shades.

Vampire series by J.R. Ward. Check them out.

Thanks for the recomendations!

Lara Adrian also has a great vampire series (Midnight Breed). 10 books in all - great plot line, good kinerky, and well written!

bebhinn

I have to laugh at the "They are horribly written" comments. I hear it a lot. If you expect any form of blatant erotica to win a pulitzer prize you're setting yourself up for major disappointment. Much like the tamer cousin Harlequin, they certainly aren't literary genius. HOWEVER I have to say, her ability to write a sex scene without using nitty gritty descriptors is to be admired. It makes it much more palatable.

They are a quick read, I enjoyed them (and I don't even SWING Christians way!). I found second and third books to be a bit better considering the ratio of sex:plot and character development was more balanced. I'm not against 'kinky *$#kery' in any way, so they didn't turn me off, I just found that there was a bit much of it in the first book.

I also didn't read or see anything twilight after the first movie, so I didn't draw the comparison - but I do believe it was fan fiction that was originally published by another company.

Now, Ann Rice's Beauty books on the other hand - much longer, far more kink and FAR more description. I enjoyed them immensely.

sarahs440

It was horribly written, the author needs a thesaurus, and I think the whole thing could have been written in one book. I eye rolled so much and skimmed through probably half the book. Also due to my OCD, I had to finish them. I was also kind of hoping they would get better, not worse.

chrysco

omg...loved it.... I am not a reader but i couldnt put it down....finished all 3 in less than 2 weeks. i got them as soon as they came out!!!

Bumdrahp

And this review sums it up

Did a teenager write this?

I really don't like writing bad reviews. I admire people who have the courage to put pen to paper and expose themselves to the whole world, especially those writing erotica. Having just finished this book, however, I feel compelled to write a review.

About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old's fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he's not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he's never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their "dream man" and came up with Christian Grey.

Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she's climaxing on every page.

Then there's the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering "Jeez" about something or another. Then there's the use of "shades of". He's "fifty shades of @#$%% up," "she turned 7 shades of crimson," "he's ten shades of x,y, and z." Seriously?

The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don't know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez!

http://www.amazon.com/review/R2JF7E91JJVHAT/ref=cm_cr_dp_title?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0345803485&nodeID=283155&store=books

You know.. I still enjoyed the read.. but this review is 100% right on.

krom862

Read them and loved them! Definitely not the best written books, but they were easy, mindless reads, and my husband is begging me to read them again, haha!

NNAhuja

I have friends reading it but I feel like it's too much like mommy porn so it probably won't ever make it on my reading list. Currently reading "Crazy Love" by Francais Chan then after that will be. "Made to Crave" written by Lysa TerKeurst.

taxidermist15

its pron on a book.. do you guys honestly expect the next Illiad?

feydruss

The fan fiction thing is absolutely true, as I read it last year. I LOVED the story as fan fiction, but never would have considered it publishable! From what I've seen flipping through the books in a store, very little was changed from the original fix other than the names.

kpopa

This book changed my life too and my husband is so happy about it! I am more in the mood and more into basically anything with him!! He loves it, we went from once-a-week to at least once a day!!! Guys, you should read it too! Give you some idea's

Although I didn't necessarily think the books were great, I agree with THIS! ^^^

nikkiw283

I'm going to get flamed, but they are complete crap. It makes me so angry that so many woman think this is amazing fiction.

I couldn't agree more. I pushed my way through the first one and attempted to start the second one but I just couldn't make myself do it. She is a horrendous writer. I was trying to get through them because so many of my girlfriends were reading the trilogy, but I just couldn't read about someone pressing their mouth into a "hard line" one more time. UGH.

iamMaLisa

If Kinky is what you want then read The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy.......... just saying

rebeccap13

http://50shadesofsuck.tumblr.com/

Ahhahahahaha.