"I'm too old for this" ?!?!

fionarama

don't lecture her. Its frustrating but what she really means (and she is probably well aware of this ) is I don't feel like doing this. Which is her perogative. she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to.
its would be good if she did want to though.

YepLilly

If she's been smoking for that long, I would say that feeling "too old" is not really related to her age, but to her decreased lung capacity.

10acity

Show her through actions, actions speaks louder than words. I'm doing that to my older sister too. Telling them subtly what I do, share my workouts on social network that they can see, and now, my older sis who's 4 years older than me, and I'm 42, has caught on. All the best in helping your sister.

I agree with this. I would also continue to ask her to do active things with you, even if she does complain (I used to be the complainer and can tell you it's more about feelings of inadequacy and disappointment in oneself than it is about not wanting to do it). When you're playing tennis (or whatever), say things to her like "I really enjoy doing this with you, and I hope we can continue to enjoy it for years to come" etc., driving home the point that you really just love her and want her around for a long time.

SmexAppeal

Thank you everyone for the wonderful advice! My sister used to play 5 sports in high school and was def a jock! She always says she wants to quit smoking, but just doesn't. I used to smoke, maybe it was only for a couple years but I was like, wtf am I doing?? I want to help her in any way I can.

Thank you so much for this 10acity!! Above all else, its not about playing tennis with her, its about the fact that I love her and want her to be around to hang with me for years to come

I agree with this. I would also continue to ask her to do active things with you, even if she does complain (I used to be the complainer and can tell you it's more about feelings of inadequacy and disappointment in oneself than it is about not wanting to do it). When you're playing tennis (or whatever), say things to her like "I really enjoy doing this with you, and I hope we can continue to enjoy it for years to come" etc., driving home the point that you really just love her and want her around for a long time.

MissMormie

My father is 66 and in chemo therapy after multiple surgeries in the last half year. He's now practicing for his first 10 mile race, after running for the last time while drafted in the military almost 50 years ago. 32 is not too old.

If you really want to talk to your sister about it I'd try and ask what her real reason is. I'm sure she doesn't think she's too old, but that excuse feels better than the real reason. I'm guessing she knows perfectly well that she doesn't exercise enough, and that smoking is bad for her. So no reason to preach about that.

Perhaps instead of talking to her you can continue inviting her to activities. To play tennis together, go for a hike, do cycle tour, go to spinning class or Zumba. Rather than trying to convince her with words you can hopefully make her feel better by getting active.

penrbrown

I have always been taught and I have always believed that the BEST way to show people a better way to be is simply to BE that way. Do not preach to her. Do not dictate to her. Just continue your healthy journey and share it with her in mild doses (don't PUSH it on her but every now and then share a success with her or just talk about your jog or whatever!).

I'm sure, with time, she'll look at you and say; If she can do it so can I! It'll just take her some time to process!

DavPul

I'm going to play devil's advocate and say that your sister is correct. Well, sort of. While she's not "too old", she's probably really saying that she is too out of shape. If she hasn't played in years and doesn't exercise regularly, picking up up a racket and going full bore playing a movement sport like tennis is going to be hard. She's putting herself at risk for a myriad of strains, pulls, and more serious soft tissue injuries, plus her lungs aren't working at anything close to full capacity.

Perhaps instead of having a downer conversation about how out of shape she is, maybe encourage her to come out an play with you on a regular basis. Tell her she just needs to get acclimated to the sport again and how fun it'll be to spend time with her. And yeah, do NOT make her chase balls all across the court just starting out. Do some drills, hit the ball at her, let her build up some confidence, and gradually make the matches more competitive. Once she's back into it, I bet convincing her to add some cardio or strength workouts (under the guise of making her a better tennis player) will be easy.

Think about it from her perspective. If she played 5 sports in school, she probably has a competitive nature. You're her LITTLE sister, who's *kitten* she probably fondly remembers kicking back in the day. Now you're both older, but you workout regularly and she hasn't. A person in that spot might quit your tennis match out of pure pride. Nobody wants to be humiliated by their younger sibling. Ease her back into it.

charanne52

In September I will be celebrating my 5th anniversary of being smoke-free after more than 35 years of allowing my life to literally "go up in smoke". It was tough to do but I did it and I give a lot of credit to QuitNow.com where I met wonderful and supportive people (much like here). Smoking is a horrible addiction and the thing is you must be ready to quit and sadly, many smokers just never are. I did it for my family but most of all I did it for myself. Now I am here at MFP to reclaim my "lost body" that disappeared after I quit smoking. I was constantly rewarding myself for getting rid of that horrible addiction by pretty much eating anything I could get my hands on and now I gaze in horror at this stranger I see in the mirror. But, at least I don't smoke and I am approaching this weight loss journey in much the same manner as I did when I conquered the nicotine demon.

I'm sad your sister has such a defeatist attitude - I would dearly love to reclaim those wasted years but since I can't I am determined to be fit and healthy for the remainder of my life.