The Fat Acceptance Movement… Thoughts??

AmyParker979

I will never accept my fat. It moves too much when I try to run. That said, if anyone ever yells "Hey fatty!" At me out their car window, they risk getting a brick thrown through it.

meechi53

Well there is a BIG difference between Chubby acceptance and Obese acceptance. 40 LBS overweight, even 50 is a lot different than 100 lbs and more overweight, number one healthwise and number 2 just being able to move around and be active and mobile. My big beef with acceptance if you want to call it is calling someone who's a 10, 12 even a 14 "Obese" or a Fat Girl, and making them feel like they are 100+lbs overweight.

payupalice

I believe that everyone needs to accept and love themselves as they are right now, while realizing that there are areas for improvement. Personally, I think I'm great, but I realize that I'm overweight, that it's unhealthy, and it needs to change. I guess I don't really know what the 'fat acceptance' movement was designed to do, or how it's trending, but I think that accepting yourself in a way that makes you want to be the best you possible is how I would approach and ideology like that.

marz42

Fat or skinny. Short or tall It doesn't really matter. It's about your health. If you're big and have no health issues whatsoever because of your weight then fine. Being FAT and not simply a tad overweight will always bring health problems. Your body was not meant to be weighed down by 50+ lbs of greasy FAT. Yell to the world that you're happy to be fat if you wan,t but if you need to make such a big deal of how happy you are, then I'm 99% sure you're miserable. Self confidence is a lovely thing, being sick and unhealthy is not.

Fat does not equal miserable, nor does thin = happy. Lots of people loose weight and end up surprised though it makes some things better its not a miracle cure that fixes all your problems. There is so much bs and bias out there that fat = miserable and a million other negative assumptions. It's not a universal truth and never has been. Is there any wonder there is some backlash in the form of the people that are fairly happy with life at whatever "fat" weight making kind of a big deal of that on lists and such?

marz42

Here's the bottom line, guys. It is not YOU job to police anyone's body or their choices. It doesn't matter what they are doing. IT. IS. NOT. YOUR JOB. You have no business telling anyone how they should be eating.

If you wouldn't accept it for yourself, that's fine. Then don't do it yourself. You're not some great hero who's come in and giving this overweight person brand new information. Chances are, they've heard it before.

But again, and I can't say it enough. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB.

Job? No business? I really don't understand this attitude. Are we not supposed to help anyone these days?

I can't believe it's common for strangers to walk up and start lecturing about the benefits of a healthy lifestyle so I guess we are talking about friends and family here

If you saw your sister sunbathing in a heatwave with no sun lotion, do you think "I'm not some hero who has come in and given her brand new information on the dangers from the sun. Chances are she's heard it before"? I know I wouldn't! I would tell her that's she is likely to burn!

If my grown up daughter was getting bigger and bigger, no exercise and eating at McDs 3 times a day then I would say something, offer to help. I would do for friends too. Or is that 'NOT MY JOB'?

Where do you draw the line? Turn your back on friends and family who have started to take drugs? Let them just get on with it; you can't say anything - IT'S NOT YOUR JOB!

If its a stranger, its never your job. Ever.

If it's non-adult daughter then yeah, it's your job. If it's your adult daughter, then it seems fair enough to say something in a kind and concerned way,..ie..saying that you love her at any size but you are concerned for her health, is there something you can do to help or support her in developing healthier habits, go for walks together or offer to pay for a class or a health club if that is workable for the two of you and she's truly interested..but pushing and criticizing will probably backfire. In the end she's an adult and they are her choices. Badgering or criticizing her (I'm not saying you do this..I don't know you, I'm speaking generally) is very unlikely to fix it and if she's eating for emotional reasons it may make it worse.

I used to get the criticism from my dad when I was younger something awful, and did it make me suddenly realize the error of my ways? No...it made me want to avoid him, it made me feel like shutting down and shutting people out..made me feels shame, which made me want to be invisible, made me feel controlled, and made me feel like utter crap. Never mind my grades were straight 4 points, or that I was first chair clarinet, on the honor roll or whatever..I was heavy so none of it mattered. (I know now he didn't actually think that, but that's how it came off at the time).

Eating was a comfort when in emotional distress, and a bit of a rebellion. You often hear that anorexia can be about control, in some ways it was like that for me in the other direction as I got to be a teen, it was one thing I could control..one thing he couldn't entirely regulate, a rebellion in a sense. The more they tell you not to do something the more you want to. It set up a really bad pattern and relationship with food so to speak.

Years later (and many other changes later) I met a group of people (men and women) that were pretty big on fat acceptance...happy, social, active people of varying sizes, most in happy relationships, from just a little fat, to really really fat. I remember being floored by this...I was amazed at all the things they did and felt confident doing despite the weight. They danced, did martial arts, went camping, long walks,...even wore tank tops in public and went swimming. In that group I finally felt OK to be me.

And ironically THAT was what helped de-program a lot of the bad crap I dealt with growing up....it was the feeling of acceptance and finally feeling okay to be me as I was that gave me the strength and desire to change, eat healthier, exercise more, and finally to try to loose weight......because *I* wanted to, not because anyone one else wanted me to, or any sudden enlightenment that fat wasn't healthy. And now it feels like something *good* I'm doing for me, I'm doing something good for my body by exercising and putting veggies in it instead of crap, not like the punishment it felt like back in my teen years whenever I tried.

So though it may seem on the surface like 'fat acceptance' would encourage people to gain or give up, it often works the other way around.

AmyParker979

I don't understand why the focus is on fat acceptance vs. health education. How many times have you gone to eat at a restaurant and had NO CLUE what the caloric rate was for what you ate? How about portion sizes? Let's not focus on making seats bigger and focus on making restaurants be more open with their nutritional facts. I ate a McD's third-pounder once... then I looked up the calories on that bad boy - holy crap! If I had known pre-eating that it was 1000+ calories, I would have REALLY thought twice about eating it. (Not to say I would never touch one of those again...it was mighty tasty, but now I'd KNOW what I was putting in my body).

On the other side - no one should be treated poorly due to their weight, but honestly, people just suck. I work out with a large group of large people who are trying HARD to become healthy. One night last week a skinny (smoker) yelled out his window "Thank you for trying to stop being obese!" Jerk. :mad:

In all fairness, he could have been being nice - supporting us. But as "fat people" we are trained to think that everyone is mocking us because, 75% of the time, they are. When I did my triathlon 18 months ago, I was last... dead last. I saw people pass me over and over and over. As I entered the transition area, people clapped for me to urged me on. Did I feel that they were supporting me? Nope, I was embarrased and thought they were mocking me. This is because I've been crapped on so often that it didn't occur to me that skinny people could see something positive in what I was doing.

NuevaNatalia

I'm pretty against it. Of course no one should be judged solely on their weight/appearance, and being overweight doesn't make anyone a bad person, but advocating for staying fat is not even remotely ok. I have a hard time believing anyone who is obese is truly happy with their body (in my experience, happy people don't usually walk around demanding everyone recognize how happy they are).

Excellent point. Furthermore, there is something patronizing about the fat acceptance movement and seems more detrimental in the long run for those who embrace it. Why bother trying to get to a healthy weight and minimize risks of diseases that are associated with obesity? I just need to tell myself that it's ok to be fat, while I eat more than I should. But, it's not ok and I'm sure deep down, this fat acceptance movement is just a defense mechanism against the cruel people out there, society's obsession with thinness, failed diets, good intentions, laziness and maybe even lonliness (I'm considered the chunky kid in my family).In the long run, this movement will hurt more than help.

airbent

I'm only two pages into this thread but I've enjoyed reading a lot of the responses (more than I would've expected) against fat-shaming. I want to make friends with a whole bunch of you! Regardless what any of us want to do or not do to have a lifestyle that works better for us, I think as a society we need to always work to broaden what counts as "normal" or abnormal-- not keep that definition as narrow and exclusive as possible. There isn't only one way to be attractive or even healthy. Period.

Donnaakamagmid

I think that there shouldn't be a question that we accept people no matter their size, race, gender, sexual preference, marriage status, religious preference, and on and on. Whatever happened to there just being human acceptance? Why are we so hell bent on making ourselves different from others and then exploiting it? I was just raised in the concept that all people deserve respect until they do something heinous.

As far as the movement, I don't have a problem with it, but I will admit I don't understand people who want to be obese and choose to live their life that way and exploit themselves (specifically, I'm thinking of a Dr. Phil episode recently when a 500lb woman wanted to be the biggest person in the world). I think that calling unneccesary attention to yourself gives the impression of low-self-worth and desperation.

This

CookieCatCatcher

Personally I think it is just an excuse. There is nothing comfortable or acceptable about being overweight. I would not go as far as to say that everyone should follow BMI calculators but I do feel that people should be at a healthy weight in close relation to the calculators. Its really just an excuse to be lazy and not worry about the health issues that come with bearing extra weight.

This!

Man, I've been fat most of my life - and it sucks to be treated differently. HOWEVER - that does not mean it should be OK to be obese.

infamousmk

I don't agree with the ideals of the fat acceptance movement. There is nothing acceptable about not taking care of your body. However, I also don't agree with the weight of importance people put on their looks. I really don't even know how to reconcile the beliefs I have with regard to each of these topics.

Your looks do not determine your self-worth, they do not make you a good or bad person, and there is no correlation between being good looking and being a good person. I really hate that American society (and probably a lot of other similar regions) has placed such an emphasis on this notion that you're not worth it if you're not 'beautiful.'

So, in conclusion, it's not okay to preach fat acceptance, and it's important to learn to remove your feelings of self esteem from your physical body to some degree.