BUT MY HUSBAND SAID.......

imchicbad

i wanted to enter a finess competition, and my husband lost it, said its just a stupid ideal, and nothing but a look at me show....my feelings are hurt, i was shocked and stayed quiet.................... is he right??

I feel like hes making fun of me now, but hes lost weight, i compliment him hes all for that, and all he does is put me down now-not one compliment...im so confused.

he is older than me by 10 years, but we have been married for 15 years. i just dont get it, jelous of what...who...thats stupid. you know when i first started he was irritated with me until he saw the results- then he jumped on board and lost weight, and i complimented him and cheered him on, he loves it- i am all for supporting him, even if he wanted to compete. but its like he likes all the glory for himself, and has never said one posotive thing to me about my weight loss or fitness NOT ONCE, now its little negative jabs, like today- i can see your ribs (??) no you cant.

samf36

He may not want others look at how beautiful his wife has become.

FlaxMilk

Not at all! Fitness is a skill like anything else. You have worked hard for your success, why shouldn't you show it off? I won't speculate as to his reasons for saying that, but I say go for it!

toysbigkid

It's not fair when one partner doesn't support the other, ask him why and then if it's silly tell him to support you as you would him.

toysbigkid

flaxmilk that racoon (profile pic) looks like he ate something bad. lol

FlaxMilk

flaxmilk that racoon (profile pic) looks like he ate something bad. lol

Ha ha I have some great ones of this little guy.

meshashesha2012

maybe he's afraid that now that you're getting all fit and hot you'll find a better looking guy and leave him. honestly i think a lot of men think like this. i know that's why i broke up with my old boyfriend : i couldnt take his negativity and sabotaging ..

not saying you should break up with your hubby :laugh: just maybe reassure him that you're not going to leave him for someone hotter

toysbigkid

worried about maybe someone hotter...if that's the case just reassure him him he's the best in the world, he'll come around

imchicbad

i posted it up top....

ironanimal

You know, it could be that he sees you're in better shape than him or something as asinine as that. Though it's probably because you'll be up on stage in a bikini with a ridiculous tan :P

FlaxMilk

Maybe you could just ask him, in a non-angry way, "It seems like me working out bothers you." See what he says. If he dismisses you, then say, "Since it doesn't bother you, I'd love it if you could cheer me on." You win either way. If it does bother him, he can tell you and stop with the petty jabs, and if he says it doesn't, then he has no reason not support you. :drinker:

imchicbad

ironanimal: with 10 thousand other women....you know. like whos there really, besides family and friends...and that tan is rediculous lol thanks i needed the laugh.

BandedTriaRN

you do just what you want, you deserve to have your life and interests! Do what you want to do not what your husband wants (I mean, within reason of course)

MyNabbrs

My hubby is the same way. Always critical, never a compliment. I've supported him through everything, and gotten nothing in return. He is happy when he is the center of attention, and acts weird when someone else is nice to me. You need to do your own thing. Don't look for his support OR approval. Do what makes you feel happy and healthy! It is YOUR body. You are the only one living in it.

Follow your dreams and ressure him that you're with him for the long haul.

imchicbad

it just bothers me the way he reacted,i was just saying how- you would have thought i said playboy not competition by the way his tone of voice changed.

cls_333

Sorry, but I'm gonna side with him. A fitness competition is a "look at me" attention getter. Tell me good reasons why you want to do it other than that, and I might reconsider. Be glad he cares. I would never want my husband parading half naked to show other women "what he's got." But I wouldn't wear the outfit in your profile picture either, so we are surely different. Just giving another view point

meshashesha2012

OP, please don't try to apply logic to men's insecurities :laugh:

yeah you may have been married for so long, but maybe he's feeling older and less secure.

i've just heard way too many guys "joke" about trying to get with a girl before she loses weight and becomes too hot for them or heard too many jokingly say they are going to break up with their gf who's losing weight before she breaks up with them to not think it's not really a joke.

really it doesnt make sense to me, but maybe that's cus i'm a girl and i've never known another women be intimidated by her partner losing weight because she's afraid he'll run off and find a hotter woman.

AntWrig

Haters gonna hate.

LifeChangingExp

it just bothers me the way he reacted,i was just saying how- you would have thought i said playboy not competition by the way his tone of voice changed.

Oh **** him and go do the competition.. ur freaking hot

toysbigkid

cls_333...........are you for real?

RaeN81

What he said was insensitive but it may indicate some underlying issue. Personally, if my husband had a problem with it, I would not do it--not because I don't have the freedom to do so but because I respect his opinion. What is more concerning to me is that he has not been supportive and encouraging in your weight loss and fitness. You deserve to be loved and encouraged by your spouse and you should tell him how you feel about it. He may think his jabs are being cute or may not realize that he has not told you about how he appreciates the work you are putting in. Honestly, some men are afraid to tell their spouses that they are looking better because they feel it might imply that they did not like or were not satisfied by the way they looked prior to the changes. Talk to him.