Is It Wrong That I Want Attention?

weighlossforbaby

The guy that ignored you sounds like an idiot! You'r a beautiful person!!!! It's human nature to want attention from the opposite sex. People can be judgemental and it's a cruel world.

Rjdj3530

I am not one of those people who gets that kind of attention either. I have always been envious of those who with no effort and on looks alone can command that kind of attention. When I am out with the girls, I get to watch as men hit on them and offer to buy them drinks and I am like their wingman. At the gym there is always someone more attractive than me right there beside me that makes me invisible.

I am just your average chick, not super hot and not ugly. It's not until a guy engages me in conversation a few times that I can tell that they really "see" me. This shouldn't bother me but it does.

I want that kind of attention too. It's shallow I know but I'd love to know what it feels like to walk in somewhere and see that "wow" look on guys faces because of my good looks.

realme56

Unfortunately we live in a time where people are self absorbed in general, distracted driving, the driver that pulls into your lane in the freeway even though there is no one in his/her lane, people that bump into you at stores. People are busy too and just not aware....I have walked right past people I know cause I was totally in my head working on something.

We need to be less hard on ourselves and others. Be yourself and have confidence, that will get attention.

EDesq

I know the title sounds extremely conceited but here is what I mean. I have been overweight my entire life, or as long as I can remember. Being an adult now I have never gotten attention from men. I don't go out often much anymore but when I used to go out to clubs and bars with my friends I would never get hit on or get any kind of flirts from men. I'm also an observer and I notice this at work too. There are a couple of really cute girls at work and they are always getting hit on. I know I am not ugly but I am also not thin and it's really annoying when I am talking asking a question or making a statement and get blatantly ignored. Today I was working and I had to ask a question and the only person that was over in my department that would know the answer was an attractive guy. He played it off like he didn't hear me when in fact I know he did because he looked at me and I was talking loud. I said to him "Excuse me, I know you heard what I asked so please tell me what I need to know." I was super pissed off. I know that if I were thinner he wouldn't have ignored me like that. This isn't the first instance something has happened like that but it just makes me so angry!

Believe it or not, most obese people are actually "invisible." Most are passive because some feel that if they are to assertive or aggressive they will be noticed for the "wrong" reasons, and possibly made fun of. My weight has gotten up to 380 lbs. at one time; I HAVE NEVER BEEN PASSIVE. What ever I needed from anyone at any time I expressed Myself and made it clear, this was when I reported to others and when I had direct reports. It may be that you do not assert yourself enough and people, especially guys won't take you seriously. Add passivity to your youthful age and "dudes" will walk all over you! Sure, guys are going to try and impress women that they are attracted to, but never use that as a way to get your needs met in the work-place. Assert yourself and be serious, talk Directly to whomever it is you are needing help from...DO NOT assume that because YOU put a request for assistance in the "air" someone is supposed to respond to it...Be specific! And stop wanting attention because you are "pretty" the work-place is not the place to want THAT type of attention, it could turn out to be a VERY BAD THING!

Jebbster007

Absolutely perfectly normal human desire to want attention. EVERYone wants attention. Even people who get a lot of it, don't always get it from the people they WANT to get it from, so they want attention too, just probably from different people they're getting it from now. AND, if you rarely get it, yes, you typically want it more than the average person who gets some attention sometimes.

It's also a sad reality that people often judge others by how they look. I know in a perfect world that wouldn't be the case but it is. I know for a fact I've been judged harshly because I'm a fat guy. And the people judging/treating me poorly actually said they were doing it because I'm fat. LOL. So there isn't even a tiny bit of ambiguity about the reason, like others in the thread have suggested for his poor treatment of you. So it sounds like he's just a regular idiot as far as idiots go.

Personally I think you're a beautiful, beautiful young woman and I'm fairly certain you will get hit on soon enough. My slightly bent advice. Wait until you lose all the weight you're going to, have a smokin' hot body, wait for him to come up to you to tell you how awesome you look, blah, blah, blah....hittin', hittin, hittin on you. Then say, I'm sorry.....did you say something? Then walk away.

And Lushaholic gets an honorable mention for the line, "do gummy bears come out of his *kitten*? I think not"....Priceless

sarahrbraun

I don't think it is wrong at all!

I'm an *old* married lady who is almost 70 pounds overweight. Just a smile and a "hey" from the trainer at the desk at the Y can put a smile on my face ( he's cute and like 25).

It isn't always about wanting people to drool over us, its about wanting people to see US, not our flubber.

mrob81

The boys don't flirt. So what? Keep it moving and do YOU. It isn't because of your size, it is all personality and confidence. In your 5 mile radius there happens to be a few ****-balls. Who cares? You are on a mission to change yourself.

comogirl

Giiiiiirrrrrllllll, you are sooo pretty! You should be getting hit on daily. Men are crazy. I know what you mean. I dont really want the attention because I am married but it would be nice if men took notice when I put an effort in to look good and lose weight. Hang in there. Maybe you just need a new crowd to be seen differently!

calvert6183

Great advice, Calvert!

Thank you

mrs_deg1983

Some times you have to make your self noticed. There is always one man or woman that will ignore you just to get to you at the work place. Although i do not want to be noticed at work unless its for my work. Next time you want to ask him something, try not to say excuse me try dropping a heavy telephone book on his desk. If that doesn't make him notice you, he may have a hearing problem. lol

Tangerine302

I agree, you are very pretty! I would say just keep on smiling and being happy and you will attract happy people. The others don't really matter.

ComicBookGeekGirl

I know the title sounds extremely conceited but here is what I mean. I have been overweight my entire life, or as long as I can remember. Being an adult now I have never gotten attention from men. I don't go out often much anymore but when I used to go out to clubs and bars with my friends I would never get hit on or get any kind of flirts from men. I'm also an observer and I notice this at work too. There are a couple of really cute girls at work and they are always getting hit on. I know I am not ugly but I am also not thin and it's really annoying when I am talking asking a question or making a statement and get blatantly ignored. Today I was working and I had to ask a question and the only person that was over in my department that would know the answer was an attractive guy. He played it off like he didn't hear me when in fact I know he did because he looked at me and I was talking loud. I said to him "Excuse me, I know you heard what I asked so please tell me what I need to know." I was super pissed off. I know that if I were thinner he wouldn't have ignored me like that. This isn't the first instance something has happened like that but it just makes me so angry!

Maybe instead of publicly blasting him out, approach him and ask privately? Lay it on thick too if he needs it. "Oh hi ____ someone told me you were an expert on this, so can you help me?" If he refuses to answer than he is a jerk. If someone was loudly demanding an answer of me and getting pissed off, I wouldn't respond either.

CallieM15

Beauty is only skin deep and cosmetic. A personality is what helps make a relationship bond and grow. :bigsmile:

Dudagarcia

Guys are not blockheads. Is just that anyone looks for the one who's compatible with. You've nothing wrong, but the reality we live on might be too harsh sometimes. Pick yourself up and whatever change you make do it for you! Is better to not take attention at all, then take the wrong one, from wrong people. Btw, you're pretty

Very nicely put what a nice guy u r

CouchSpud

lol, I can honestly say I've never been ignored - I have a tendency to freak people out - they are too afraid to ignore me. Also, to be fair, I am a little potty mouthed and strong headed. If I ask you a question and you ignore me (although I always apprroach you in the quiet and private manner first), you can be assured that the next question will be (very audible for everyone in the office) why you would think such behaviour appropriate in the work place?
But then I work in an environment were it's all about communication, so there naturally isn't much sense in not reacting to a direct request

In all fairness though I don;t think it is about your looks, this is about attitude, how outspoken you are and how well you communicate with others. How good you feel about yourself and how secure. Give it a try, walk into work as you are low and no one is interested in you and people will ignore you.. walk in there as if you are the hottest thing right now, upright posture, bright beaming smile, friendly morning... and people will recognise you. We communicate so much via body language

TheBraveryLover

Nothing wrong at all. People tend to not like attention seekers (i.e. attention wh*res) but I think there's a difference between an attention lover and a seeker. I love to get attention so I dress in a certain way, smile a lot, and have a gregarious personality, therefore I get attention and I bask in it. I do not engage in extreme or negative behavior in order to get attention; neither do I crave it.

Nothing wrong with wanting attention, IMO.

catshark209

I know the title sounds extremely conceited but here is what I mean. I have been overweight my entire life, or as long as I can remember. Being an adult now I have never gotten attention from men. I don't go out often much anymore but when I used to go out to clubs and bars with my friends I would never get hit on or get any kind of flirts from men. I'm also an observer and I notice this at work too. There are a couple of really cute girls at work and they are always getting hit on. I know I am not ugly but I am also not thin and it's really annoying when I am talking asking a question or making a statement and get blatantly ignored. Today I was working and I had to ask a question and the only person that was over in my department that would know the answer was an attractive guy. He played it off like he didn't hear me when in fact I know he did because he looked at me and I was talking loud. I said to him "Excuse me, I know you heard what I asked so please tell me what I need to know." I was super pissed off. I know that if I were thinner he wouldn't have ignored me like that. This isn't the first instance something has happened like that but it just makes me so angry!

About being thinner, no not really...I'm thin and I get ignored like that too. But yes I know what you mean, cuz it happens to me all the time.

hyperionguy

It is difficult to say without knowing 100% of the background, but it sounds like the guy is just a jerk period.

I'm sure you are sweet and delightful, but based only on what you said above it sounds like you went into the situation with your guns loaded and a hair trigger. People can sense that. Perhaps there is more history to it, like previous encounters or observations.

It isn't wise to jump to the conclusion that it is about your weight. Two of my best gal friends are significantly overweight but they attract insane amounts of positive attention. I don't know how they do it and I envy them because I wish I could be that way. People just gravitate towards them and they flourish in social situations.

taliasometimes

I understand how u feel.
i get so jealous of other girls at work who get the male attention! it's just as a former *fat person* i keep needing reassured that I am pretty. And i will be honest, when i was big, not a sinlgle guy ever hit on me, and when i lost weight, i get a bit more attention.

so, sad but true. guys are superficial. its always about the skinny. just makes u appreciate the guys who look past the curves and see ur beautiful face and smile

Elizabeth_M

I think you met an example of a blockhead. If he is not going to give you, a human being, the common courtesy of returning your question asked, then he's a jerk - regardless of whether or not you are skinny!! If you were slimmer, would you want to date this guy? Hope not!

I know how you feel though - my friends were always getting hit on - but your time will come. Keep doing what you are doing for you and someone will come along one day and be totally into you. I've had guys want me when I was almost 200 pounds, and guys want me when I was 150. No difference for me because I still had high expectations for who I was going out with, and obviously they found me attractive!!

You go , girl - you are adorable looking, and I am sure a downright sweetheart.