Online dating NO Thanks but what are options today

BigBrewski
BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
i am not a fan of POF, okcupid, any of the friendfinder sites, and i am not ready to pay for match or eharmony. so where does one meet dates these days if not online. i am not a big drinker and hitting the bar scene at 40 just isnt me and its not part of the healthy lifestyle i am trying to lead.

any suggestions
«13

Replies

  • livinginwoods
    livinginwoods Posts: 562 Member
    Speed dating? Honestly I used online dating for the most part when I was single but sometimes I just went to public places and things clicked with someone else. I got a good boyfriend from the library once. I met my husband on a free phone sex line...true story.....9 years ago. Not that you should do that...but love happens in the weirdest places. :blushing:
  • LAWoman79
    LAWoman79 Posts: 348 Member
    As per previous conversation, I believe you and I both know I am not qualified to answer, lol!
  • Well being that you are a good looking man, then maybe you should just try the old fashion way......at other places of business, like grocery stores, libraries, work, or let your friends set you up! They know you better than anyone!!! Personally, I always feel that the men have a better upper hand...the women are just waiting for you to make the first move...so if you have someone your interested in...just go for it!!! Life is short!!! That was a lession I learned real quick after my brother died unexpectedly in his sleep, and he was only 47!!!

    Good luck!!! :)
  • focus4fitness
    focus4fitness Posts: 551 Member
    If I were YOU I would go to a zumba class. That is, from what I can tell, where all the ladies go lately lol
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
    If I were YOU I would go to a zumba class. That is, from what I can tell, where all the ladies go lately lol

    ah zumba...i guess that would be a shot once i reach my goal weight i might have the confidence to do just that
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
    Well being that you are a good looking man, then maybe you should just try the old fashion way......at other places of business, like grocery stores, libraries, work, or let your friends set you up! They know you better than anyone!!! Personally, I always feel that the men have a better upper hand...the women are just waiting for you to make the first move...so if you have someone your interested in...just go for it!!! Life is short!!! That was a lession I learned real quick after my brother died unexpectedly in his sleep, and he was only 47!!!

    Good luck!!! :)

    saddly my friends mostly live in arizona (long story) but yeah i guess the old fasion other places of business is a good plan. the whole love finds you when your not looking.

    BTW thanks for calling me handsome ;)
  • takehimaway
    takehimaway Posts: 499 Member
    Find a group of people who have similar interests, go hang out with them. Met current girlfriend at an AA meeting, seems to be going well for the most part....
  • LilacDreamer
    LilacDreamer Posts: 1,364 Member
    i am not a fan of POF, okcupid, any of the friendfinder sites, and i am not ready to pay for match or eharmony. so where does one meet dates these days if not online. i am not a big drinker and hitting the bar scene at 40 just isnt me and its not part of the healthy lifestyle i am trying to lead.

    any suggestions

    Well I guess I can't help you, I met my husband on OkCupid.... he says hi by the way.
  • Well being that you are a good looking man, then maybe you should just try the old fashion way......at other places of business, like grocery stores, libraries, work, or let your friends set you up! They know you better than anyone!!! Personally, I always feel that the men have a better upper hand...the women are just waiting for you to make the first move...so if you have someone your interested in...just go for it!!! Life is short!!! That was a lession I learned real quick after my brother died unexpectedly in his sleep, and he was only 47!!!

    Good luck!!! :)

    saddly my friends mostly live in arizona (long story) but yeah i guess the old fasion other places of business is a good plan. the whole love finds you when your not looking.

    BTW thanks for calling me handsome ;)
  • No problem........And it is true!!! Have a great day and get out there and look for your girl....she's out there! Just remember, she's not gonna come knocking on your door!!! LOL...
  • bradthemedic
    bradthemedic Posts: 623 Member
    Mutual interests. If you have a hobby you can meet someone doing what you like to do. Meteorite collecting, scuba diving, sleep deprivation for fun so you can act like a zombie....

    That's really where you are going to meet someone quality is a meetup for mutual interests or while doing something you enjoy.
  • autumnk921
    autumnk921 Posts: 1,374 Member
    i am not a fan of POF, okcupid, any of the friendfinder sites, and i am not ready to pay for match or eharmony. so where does one meet dates these days if not online. i am not a big drinker and hitting the bar scene at 40 just isnt me and its not part of the healthy lifestyle i am trying to lead.

    any suggestions


    I honestly have no idea b/c I am in the same boat....So, I would like to hear some suggestions as well!! Thanks for this topic!! :)
  • Kerri_is_so_very
    Kerri_is_so_very Posts: 999 Member
    Lurking for ideas......3 years single and still going strong :grumble:
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    I met my husband online and will be married for 5 years in November. Online dating isn't all that bad.
  • DyanCB
    DyanCB Posts: 138 Member
    If I were YOU I would go to a zumba class. That is, from what I can tell, where all the ladies go lately lol

    ah zumba...i guess that would be a shot once i reach my goal weight i might have the confidence to do just that

    Why wait until you get to goal weight???? If you go to the Zumba class you will be meeting women whose values for fitness will match yours. You can build relationships starting as friends and supporting each other to get to your goals. Frankly, for me, I can't think of who I would have as a better partner than that!
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    Live your life.
    Do the things you enjoy doing.
    Hang out with friends.
    Meeting people who share similar interests will naturally follow if you just do your own thing.
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
    Go to church. Get a hobby. Join a club. Decide what your interests are, then find out where others with the same interest hang out.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    You could try joining some meetup groups. They are local, and I know there are some for singles.

    FWIW, I met my husband on OKC. I also met a lot of other guys who became wonderful friends over the years on online dating. For me, it was a really positive experience, so don't write it off just yet. The free sites are usually younger people. Match may be better for you to meet someone closer to your age, even if you do have to pay a bit for it.
  • AshlyRamos
    AshlyRamos Posts: 76 Member
    i am not a fan of POF, okcupid, any of the friendfinder sites, and i am not ready to pay for match or eharmony. so where does one meet dates these days if not online. i am not a big drinker and hitting the bar scene at 40 just isnt me and its not part of the healthy lifestyle i am trying to lead.

    any suggestions

    I tried POF as a joke a little over a year ago. (A friend of mine found her long-term bf on there as well) I emailed this man and simultaneously received a message from him. We met about 4 days later and have been inseperable since. It's been a year, he just moved in and things are so perfect, it's scary. hahaha. I knew I was bound to meet someone perfect for me, I just NEVER imagined it would be on POF. hahaha.

    So, there is a glimpse of hope for online dating.

    But, my suggestion would be to just get out and do what you enjoy and talk with people who are there enjoying the same thing you do. Then you know you'll at least have a common interest there as a building block.

    Good luck with everything. Don't try too hard. It'll happen! :))
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    If I were YOU I would go to a zumba class. That is, from what I can tell, where all the ladies go lately lol

    ah zumba...i guess that would be a shot once i reach my goal weight i might have the confidence to do just that

    guy here. I go 3x a week. 6'3 300+ lbs. been going for over a year now. sure there's probably people pointing at laughing at me but I can't hear them over the sound of how awesome I am. the ratio is nice too. 20-30 girls in the class for 1 guy usually. just like MFP.......well MFP is more like 1000:1 >.>
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    The best approach would be to meet people doing your everyday activities, but that seems difficult these days. I would suggest that you keep your eyes open in other online (non-dating sites) venues like MFP or Meetup.com perhaps? Find people to become friends with and go from there...

    Also, the pay sites like Match and Eharmony are no better than the free sites and you are just out $.
  • spitfire1962
    spitfire1962 Posts: 347 Member
    I'm met some nice men on POF. I work so many hours that I like to come home and rest when I get off shift. I also don't do the bar scene. You just have to build up your confidence. You said that you would wait to go to Zumba until you get to your goal weight. Guess what, women don't care if a man is packing a little weight around the waist. Just believe in yourself and what you have to offer. You will come across very well and women will be attracted to you. The only thing stopping you is you. Now get out there and start smiling and you will see the changes that will start to happen in your life.
  • khskr1
    khskr1 Posts: 392
    Depends how much time you have to devote to going to other places/activities to meet people. I was working full time and finishing grad school a few years back so time was limited. I met my husband on match. 7 years later here we are. :) BUT...I did go on a lot of first dates and met a lot of cool people. Some of my favorite bands are due to one date wonders. You just have to approach it from a 'I want to meet people' perspective.

    Other than that, look online for classes/events/activies to attend. Good luck!
  • Hi. Here's what I did and I think it might help you, too. I suggest, as someone who has been where you are, that you forget that stigma about "the bar scene". I understand that that conjures up in one's mind a pickup potential, somewhere that people go to "get some action". It doesn't have to be like that. I am not into that kind of thing, believe me. But if you choose the more upscale places to go, with the intention in mind of having a beer or a glass of wine and just hanging out there with some buddies to watch the game, have a drink, share some laughs and just have some fun and dance a little bit, you are attractive to the ladies, you are attracted TO some ladies hopefully, and to bottom line it, you've had some fun with your friends and will have felt at the very least, a little bit social. Don't go there hoping to meet someone (well, maybe a little bit) but just go have fun. I've done that and loved it because the music is generally awesome in some of these places and I am told a lot that I'm attractive in part because I'm "so much fun". My friends who go to meet someone and are so obvious about it look ridiculous. Just relax, cut a rug and have a beer.

    As for the online dating, run away from that as fast and as far as you can. I have also done that and it's a potential horror show. I wish you happiness.
  • AshlyRamos
    AshlyRamos Posts: 76 Member
    If I were YOU I would go to a zumba class. That is, from what I can tell, where all the ladies go lately lol

    ah zumba...i guess that would be a shot once i reach my goal weight i might have the confidence to do just that

    Why wait until you get to goal weight???? If you go to the Zumba class you will be meeting women whose values for fitness will match yours. You can build relationships starting as friends and supporting each other to get to your goals. Frankly, for me, I can't think of who I would have as a better partner than that!

    This is a great suggestion! You don't have to be on the search for a partner, start looking for friends first.
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
    I'm sorry but you need to man up and go after what you want in life!! If you are looking to date, learn to approach women in a respectful manner by just saying hello. There are tons of single women available but I am old school and believe the man should make the first move.

    Us guys spend so much time focusing on getting women in the bedroom instead of treating her like a real person.

    Top
  • relly1008
    relly1008 Posts: 175 Member
    I met my hubby on match.com, 3 years together!!!
  • Just gotta know...what's MFP?
  • I met my husband in a christian chat room. I wasn't looking to meet anyone after going through a divorce, but just to chat with other people. After a year, we met in person and grew very close. We had a long distance relationship for almost 3 years until he asked me to marry him. 10 years later we are still together. Whenever anyone asks how did the two of us meet, I start to laugh because online would have been the last place I would have ever imagined. I wish you well. :happy:
  • KLK1986
    KLK1986 Posts: 89
    Can you try eharmony when they have their 'free communication weekend' promo that they do every few months?

    I paid for Match.com and I feel it was well worth it - but then again, I met my fiance on there!