Online dating NO Thanks but what are options today

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  • focus4fitness
    focus4fitness Posts: 551 Member
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    I know you said you're not interesed in sites like Match.com or eHarmony.com. BUT, I met my husband on Match. We were dating seriously within a month (I paid for ONE MONTH of Match.com), engaged in 2 months. Next weekend we will celebrate our 6 year wedding anniversary!

    Me too, within 6 months I was married. This summer will be our 9 year wedding anniversary.
  • 1113cw
    1113cw Posts: 830 Member
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    <<============ Taking notes LOL
  • focus4fitness
    focus4fitness Posts: 551 Member
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    If I were YOU I would go to a zumba class. That is, from what I can tell, where all the ladies go lately lol

    ah zumba...i guess that would be a shot once i reach my goal weight i might have the confidence to do just that

    guy here. I go 3x a week. 6'3 300+ lbs. been going for over a year now. sure there's probably people pointing at laughing at me but I can't hear them over the sound of how awesome I am. the ratio is nice too. 20-30 girls in the class for 1 guy usually. just like MFP.......well MFP is more like 1000:1 >.>

    Cute. That's a great attitude...we would totally bust a move if you came to my Zumba class!

    ^^see

    My sons teacher (I should say mentor) lost a lot of weight and part of it was due to Zumba. Now he teaches zumba and I can tell from the pictures on fb he is always around great looking women.
  • boldtsmith
    boldtsmith Posts: 120 Member
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    My suggestion is to continually expand your social circle--that's all a "bar scene" does anyway. Join a choir, church group, or chamber of commerce. Join an organized co-ed sport team, volunteer at a hospital, or library. Find the situation that the mate you seek will most likely be findable. Don't fish for trout in the ocean and don't hunt polar bear in the rain forest.
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,856 Member
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    Check out meetup.com . It's not a dating website at all. Find meet ups in your area that interest you--it's a GREAT way to meet people that you have something in common with. I have been a member of a hiking meet up group for about 2 years now. I have made some wonderful friends through this...meet up saved my social life haha! Anyway, no guarantee that you'll meet someone to date, but you never know! It's been known to happen :-) At the very least you'll end up making some great new friends.

    This. And always remember two very important truths:

    1) it isn't only about you. whoever you're looking for may be just as frustrated with the single life and may have resorted to POF or some other site as a last ditch effort to find you. and then again... maybe that would be a dealbreaker for you. so think about who you'd like to meet and what kind of person they are, and then go where they would be to find them.

    2) it only takes one. (usually) ;)
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
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    Just gotta know...what's MFP?

    MyFitnessPal
    My Future Partner
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    I was like you 4 years go. I don't drink, I worked 50ish hours a week and didn't have a ton of time to go out and do thing AND date, and free dating sites were kind of scary to me.

    This probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but I joined match.com for one month just to see. I met my husband. A lot of my friends (male and female) have similar experiences no luck with free sites, better luck on pay sites.

    But if you are positive about that decision though, have you asked friends/family? I know how that sounds - but they know you best. If not there -- try taking a class/club about something that interests you -- wine tasting, book club, I guess Zumba (though, to be honest with you, if a dude came to my Zumba class I would assume he was TRYING (maybe too hard) to find a date). If you have a local YMCA though, that could be a good place.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Nobody will find you while sitting at home. Get out there.....It will come to you when you're not looking.
    This is what I tell myself. Good luck
  • tialynn1
    tialynn1 Posts: 886 Member
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    I am like you. I am single and not one for hanging out at bars. Don't drink much and most of the time when I go to bars, people are to young for me. ( I will be 46 in July)
    I have done a Zumba class. It is a lot of fun. You should try it. There were people of all weights and some people were really good at it and some people were not so good. But, it was SOOOO much fun and great workout.
    I liked the idea some people gave about going to meetup.com and find groups around my area for my interests. I just joined 3 groups. I probably won't have much time to do a lot of the activities until end of August and later. But, at least I will get e-mails when things come up and if I can, I am going to them.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    No advice because I'm in the same boat - online dating was horrifying, I don't go to bars and I don't know any other adults in my area to go out to all these places with where I would meet single men. In the last 3 years I've been single I haven't even spoken to a single available man. Do they really exist? I think they're a myth, like unicorns.
  • CouchSpud
    CouchSpud Posts: 557 Member
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    I think, sadly, living in London, there isn't any other option here - it's like all is going via interwebs
  • kimber0607
    kimber0607 Posts: 994 Member
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    I hear such extremes..friends that have had FANTASTIC experiences and others that have had just horrific date after horrific date...
    Spread the word that u are looking.....exhaust all mutual friends hook-ups

    good luck to you!
  • honeybfly002
    honeybfly002 Posts: 35
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    You should embrace ALL options and outlets. Online dating, getting out there and just living...meaning you may meet her out grocery shopping, library, gym, gas station...Just don't put so much expectation on it. The cliche is true...it will happen when you least expect it.
  • JoeD1968
    JoeD1968 Posts: 167
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    I'd go with the old old fashioned,you know club them over the head and drag em back to the cave,BAM new girlfriend,good luck:laugh:
  • Papalov100
    Papalov100 Posts: 1,593 Member
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    U can always find the right person for u at church
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
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    I'd go with the old old fashioned,you know club them over the head and drag em back to the cave,BAM new girlfriend,good luck:laugh:

    LOL
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
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    thanks for all the reaponses. what i am reading is "get out there". the reason i was down on online dating was it took a long time for me to get responses both on okcupid and pof. i admit i did have dates from the sites and all the gals i went out with had horror stories and no i wasnt "hooking up". i did actually date one gal from okcupid for 3 months but it didnt work out once she told me that if it wasnt for the sex we wouldnt be friends cause she had all the friends she needed.

    but looking at all the good stories listed here it seems the trick is to be OUT ther in general online offline or both just get out there
  • Kerri_is_so_very
    Kerri_is_so_very Posts: 1,005 Member
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    No advice because I'm in the same boat - online dating was horrifying, I don't go to bars and I don't know any other adults in my area to go out to all these places with where I would meet single men. In the last 3 years I've been single I haven't even spoken to a single available man. Do they really exist? I think they're a myth, like unicorns.

    I'm in the 3 year club too!!! And I believe you might be on to something here!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
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    No advice because I'm in the same boat - online dating was horrifying, I don't go to bars and I don't know any other adults in my area to go out to all these places with where I would meet single men. In the last 3 years I've been single I haven't even spoken to a single available man. Do they really exist? I think they're a myth, like unicorns.

    not a myth..not a unicorn :)
  • sbernardy
    sbernardy Posts: 188
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    I would say try Zumba First...

    I met my husband on POF!!! But I also met weird people.. once you weed them out it was great.. Plus met a lot of friends on there! All in all it was a great experience!

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