feel like $#!t
gogojodee
Posts: 1,243 Member
Basically, my brother downright told me that my ideas of portion control and my choices of food are stupid and what was the point in having a lesser oz ground beef patty than one double the size and having a larger order/oz of fries. I tried to explain that at least I was trying to balance it out by NOT having a larger burger and that at least I wasn't consuming any more calories that I could have and that that was at least a positive aspect of scaling down on something. He proceeded to tell me what was the point of it all and that I was still eating unhealthy and that it was all the same? Yeah, I know it's bad but at least my choices weren't full on for 2 people... I feel horrible now and I honestly don't feel comfortable/ want to eat around him anymore. 
ugh. I just feel this is a major set back, mentally. I ended up crying and I'm so mad that he said that to me and thinks that of me. T-T
ugh. I just feel this is a major set back, mentally. I ended up crying and I'm so mad that he said that to me and thinks that of me. T-T 0
Replies
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And to make matters worse (or at least feels like it) - it's my off day and wanted a treat. Guess it won't be an off day. 0
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Who cares? Are you doing it for him or for you? Don't let anyone break you. Suck it up and keep going strong.0
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Don't pay attention to what he says, you're doing this for YOU. Don't let the comments of one person throw you off your path...0
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It's amazing how we'll let other people's opinions waylay us - even break us. OK, you did your best to explain it to him and he wasn't buying it. I suggest you quit trying to explain it to him - or anyone else, for that matter. Work on a couple of one-liners you can toss out whenever anyone questions your food choices, such as, "It's better than what I was doing before, and that's good enough for me right now," or "It works for me," then switch subjects. Seriously; don't try and convince people and just do what you need to do to get healthier. And good luck!0
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Can you hang out with your brother less?0
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Who cares? Are you doing it for him or for you? Don't let anyone break you. Suck it up and keep going strong.
This! I know u want your brothers support, but if he doesn't want to support you, **** him and do it anyway!0 -
Hang on a minute!! How much weight have you lost - 15lb ( if my maths is right). So you must be doing something right.
Dont let him get to you - i know its not easy but just remember you must be doing something right to be losing.
Have your treat and enjoy it.0 -
he is being very ignorant, both of other ideas and of your needs, he will likly never understand, unless he gets a condition which requires him to mange his weight.
that being said controlling your portion size is a good thing, otherwise you end up eating a lot of stuff you don't need to, i have noticed that almost everyones ideal portion size is different to any one other persons, so find what works with you and stick with it.
i second the idea of hanging out with your brother less or certainly not at meal times.0 -
As has been said on so many threads, it's amazing how people who aren't putting out effort will do their best to discourage and belittle those who are. You're already making progress, don't let someone else pull you down!
Also, I agree with gaia3rd, find a line that you can toss out, and then change the subject. Take control of the conversation and move it to better topics. You're worth it.
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Don't listen to him. You are doing this for you and only you. You can't let outside negative forces drag you down, even if he is your brother. You are seeking a healthier you. You need to be strong and keep at it.
Just think how awesome you're going to feel when you reach your goal weight. Keep that positive thought in mind and keep on trucking!0 -
Can you hang out with your brother less?
Hah - no, not right now. We both live at my mom's house. :[ it's been really hard for all of us, all kinds of crazy life stress and cortisol running thru the house. It's probably due to both of those factors, but I just couldn't take him arguing about numbers and weight. Oh well.
Thank you all for your responses. I just had to vent and see if someone understood.0 -
First good job for having the smaller burger and fries! I personally think that is terrific that you were still able to have a treat and control (by not eating the biggest burger and biggest fries). I can't imagine a life without having the treats we like now and then. Sounds like your brother was just being a jerk. Ignore it - keep up the great work and pretty soon all those naysayers will see how wrong they were without you even needing to say a single word!0
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I understand where you are coming from...my family constantly criticizes my choices in food and what I am doing. They tease me for bringing healthy side dishes and my own meat. They harrass me if I have a big peice of cake (which I allot into my calories for the day) because if I'm trying to lose weight and eat healthy, why am I having cake? My sister even once said "if you're so active and work out so much, why do you still have a handicap permit?" I have one because of those days then the pain of my fibromyalgia and arthritis is overwhelming. Normally, I park at the far end of the parking lot, but some days I need it. Of course that is not for them to judge, it is my right to have it.
That being said, my new response to my family is "it's my body, not yours, so shove off". Sometimes they forget that I have lost an entire person and they are cruel. The last time my youngest sister made a comment about my diet, I looked at her and said "Ironic that you are criticising me when you seem to have found much of the weight that I have lost". Yes, it was mean, but I was sick of it.
Remember this is your journey, not his...tell him to kiss off or try to help him understand, but don't let it derail you. Let him see the results, then he can eat his words...and make sure that he has to choke them down with a little hot sauce too.0 -
You are making some changes and that is a good thing. It takes a long time for tastebuds to change even when you want them to. I had to cut out deep fried foods for a long time. because of my stomach. I occasionally treat myself to some so glorius McD fries with a fish sandwich but is a rare occurence. I do not eat the hamburgers at fast food restaurants though. It is not good for my stomach. These kind of changes do not happen overnight. It is a journey. Don't let anyone get you down. Keep on keepin on! Smelling other peoples fast food at work still makes me crave it, but I think of the digestive consequences and it does not seem so appealing any more.0
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Can you hang out with your brother less?
Hah - no, not right now. We both live at my mom's house. :[ it's been really hard for all of us, all kinds of crazy life stress and cortisol running thru the house. It's probably due to both of those factors, but I just couldn't take him arguing about numbers and weight. Oh well.
Thank you all for your responses. I just had to vent and see if someone understood.
There have been numerous studies that show that the use of Ginkgo Biloba decreases the production of Cortisol in the body. Check out the article: http://www.livestrong.com/article/409567-how-to-reduce-cortisol-with-ginkgo/0 -
Can you hang out with your brother less?
Hah - no, not right now. We both live at my mom's house. :[ it's been really hard for all of us, all kinds of crazy life stress and cortisol running thru the house. It's probably due to both of those factors, but I just couldn't take him arguing about numbers and weight. Oh well.
Thank you all for your responses. I just had to vent and see if someone understood.
There have been numerous studies that show that the use of Ginkgo Biloba decreases the production of Cortisol in the body. Check out the article: http://www.livestrong.com/article/409567-how-to-reduce-cortisol-with-ginkgo/
Thank ya ma'am!
Seriously, guys thanks so much! I feel a ton of weight lifted from my heart and I might just be lighter from that alone! ^_^0 -
Nutritionist seem to be every where when you are losing weight. :smokin:
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Get one of these and wear it when your brother comes over...
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Reading what he said to you made me so mad, too! Especially the idea that "it's all the same." It's not! Portion control, balancing calories, going for a smaller serving of something rather than taking the biggest you can get - all of those play a role. A smaller burger IS fewer calories than a bigger burger, so no, it's not the same. He's just wrong - don't let him get you down! You're doing this for you, and you have a clearer understanding of what you're doing and what you need than he does.0
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that's what brothers are for. you'll be fine. you have to find what works best for you, it's a learning process, and in the end, and during the journey you'll never have to talk to a soul about your choices, just show them the proof of your efforts. eat your burger eat your fries, let the haters hate, my bro did the same thing. emphasis on DID, still losing weight while going against so many weightloss myths.0
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YES!!!Get one of these and wear it when your brother comes over...
I agree, there is no need to let other people's ideas about your food choices bring you down. There will always be people who eat differently than you. Remind yourself that you are doing it for you, not anyone else, and keep on your own path. I know you can do it!0 -
Everyone has their own way of dieting/changing lifestyle. I'd love to be on of those people that could cut out all bad food completely, but I still love my treats and they keep me going. So you have to do whatever works for you. You'll never change your brother, so just change how you react to what he says as others have suggested. Ultimately it will be you that's succeeded and you'll be able to tell him where to go!! All the best 0
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I agree with everyone else. You have to do it your way or it won't work. If you deprive yourself of treats once in a while you will end up giving up. I have made sure not to deprive myself of anything I want this time, just enjoying them in proper proportions. Where I used to over fill my plate or eat something with enough calories for my whole day I check to make sure it is only one portion I am eating and that the calories fit w/in my daily limit. As long as my criteria is met I don't have any guilt and it doesn't feel so much like a diet, yet I still get the results I need.
So you shouldn't feel bad about having a burger once in a while & you should actually be proud that you have the control not to get the big greasy double quarter pounder with cheese & bacon.
So if he can not be supportive (although he probably thinks he is helping by discouraging you from eating "bad foods" so I would not be too mad at him) then just let him know that his opinions are not needed and that you can handle your food decisions on your own (and know that you have plenty of support here).0 -
Tell him to go and rail himself. Girl, do it for you and only you and tell him to keep his opinons to himself.0
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Your brother may need a reality check. It is difficult to change years of behavior and it doesn't happen overnight. The fact that you are willing to start the process is amazing in and of itself. Focus on you and all the little changes you are making will add up. This week- you cut back on your normal burger order, next week- drink more water, next month- cut back on sugary desserts. It all adds up in the end and then he will understand. Just hang in there!0
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Ummmmm lol well he obviously doesn't know what he's talking about... How is eating more of something just the same as eating less of it? U lose weight when u eat less, weather it's healthy or unhealthy. But healthy definitely makes u feel and look better (: Just tell him U gotta start somewhere's0
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That being said, my new response to my family is "it's my body, not yours, so shove off". Sometimes they forget that I have lost an entire person and they are cruel. The last time my youngest sister made a comment about my diet, I looked at her and said "Ironic that you are criticising me when you seem to have found much of the weight that I have lost". Yes, it was mean, but I was sick of it.
Remember this is your journey, not his...tell him to kiss off or try to help him understand, but don't let it derail you.
^^^ Totally with iddreams on this one. Sometimes brothers are just pigs. Don't let him get to you. Chances are, someday he'll be in the same boat and then his "bigger hearted" and more mature sister can help him out in ways that he didn't help her. Everybody here on MFP has your back!0 -
i too have one of these! born to wind you up I'm afraid you will just have to show him by being the skinny minnie you want to be0
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Get one of these and wear it when your brother comes over...
Wear the shirt next time you go out with him. Order what makes YOU feel good about yourself. Tell him that when you get to your goal weight not only is he going to have to eat his words as well as the double everything he's eating but also follow it with crow for dessert.!0 -
Who cares? Are you doing it for him or for you? Don't let anyone break you. Suck it up and keep going strong.
^^^^THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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