feel like $#!t

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gogojodee
gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
in Motivation and Support
Basically, my brother downright told me that my ideas of portion control and my choices of food are stupid and what was the point in having a lesser oz ground beef patty than one double the size and having a larger order/oz of fries. I tried to explain that at least I was trying to balance it out by NOT having a larger burger and that at least I wasn't consuming any more calories that I could have and that that was at least a positive aspect of scaling down on something. He proceeded to tell me what was the point of it all and that I was still eating unhealthy and that it was all the same? Yeah, I know it's bad but at least my choices weren't full on for 2 people... I feel horrible now and I honestly don't feel comfortable/ want to eat around him anymore. :/ ugh. I just feel this is a major set back, mentally. I ended up crying and I'm so mad that he said that to me and thinks that of me. T-T
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  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    And to make matters worse (or at least feels like it) - it's my off day and wanted a treat. Guess it won't be an off day. :/
  • iKapuniai
    iKapuniai Posts: 594 Member
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    Who cares? Are you doing it for him or for you? Don't let anyone break you. Suck it up and keep going strong.
  • kimnsc
    kimnsc Posts: 560 Member
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    Don't pay attention to what he says, you're doing this for YOU. Don't let the comments of one person throw you off your path...
  • gaia3rd
    gaia3rd Posts: 151
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    It's amazing how we'll let other people's opinions waylay us - even break us. OK, you did your best to explain it to him and he wasn't buying it. I suggest you quit trying to explain it to him - or anyone else, for that matter. Work on a couple of one-liners you can toss out whenever anyone questions your food choices, such as, "It's better than what I was doing before, and that's good enough for me right now," or "It works for me," then switch subjects. Seriously; don't try and convince people and just do what you need to do to get healthier. And good luck!
  • jillica
    jillica Posts: 554 Member
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    Can you hang out with your brother less?
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Who cares? Are you doing it for him or for you? Don't let anyone break you. Suck it up and keep going strong.

    This! I know u want your brothers support, but if he doesn't want to support you, **** him and do it anyway!
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
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    Hang on a minute!! How much weight have you lost - 15lb ( if my maths is right). So you must be doing something right.

    Dont let him get to you - i know its not easy but just remember you must be doing something right to be losing.

    Have your treat and enjoy it.
  • BarringtonFinbarNash
    BarringtonFinbarNash Posts: 22
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    he is being very ignorant, both of other ideas and of your needs, he will likly never understand, unless he gets a condition which requires him to mange his weight.

    that being said controlling your portion size is a good thing, otherwise you end up eating a lot of stuff you don't need to, i have noticed that almost everyones ideal portion size is different to any one other persons, so find what works with you and stick with it.

    i second the idea of hanging out with your brother less or certainly not at meal times.
  • Manarelle
    Manarelle Posts: 33 Member
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    As has been said on so many threads, it's amazing how people who aren't putting out effort will do their best to discourage and belittle those who are. You're already making progress, don't let someone else pull you down!

    Also, I agree with gaia3rd, find a line that you can toss out, and then change the subject. Take control of the conversation and move it to better topics. You're worth it. :)
  • reggie2run
    reggie2run Posts: 477 Member
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    Don't listen to him. You are doing this for you and only you. You can't let outside negative forces drag you down, even if he is your brother. You are seeking a healthier you. You need to be strong and keep at it.

    Just think how awesome you're going to feel when you reach your goal weight. Keep that positive thought in mind and keep on trucking!
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    Can you hang out with your brother less?


    Hah - no, not right now. We both live at my mom's house. :[ it's been really hard for all of us, all kinds of crazy life stress and cortisol running thru the house. It's probably due to both of those factors, but I just couldn't take him arguing about numbers and weight. Oh well.

    Thank you all for your responses. I just had to vent and see if someone understood.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    First good job for having the smaller burger and fries! I personally think that is terrific that you were still able to have a treat and control (by not eating the biggest burger and biggest fries). I can't imagine a life without having the treats we like now and then. Sounds like your brother was just being a jerk. Ignore it - keep up the great work and pretty soon all those naysayers will see how wrong they were without you even needing to say a single word!
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    I understand where you are coming from...my family constantly criticizes my choices in food and what I am doing. They tease me for bringing healthy side dishes and my own meat. They harrass me if I have a big peice of cake (which I allot into my calories for the day) because if I'm trying to lose weight and eat healthy, why am I having cake? My sister even once said "if you're so active and work out so much, why do you still have a handicap permit?" I have one because of those days then the pain of my fibromyalgia and arthritis is overwhelming. Normally, I park at the far end of the parking lot, but some days I need it. Of course that is not for them to judge, it is my right to have it.

    That being said, my new response to my family is "it's my body, not yours, so shove off". Sometimes they forget that I have lost an entire person and they are cruel. The last time my youngest sister made a comment about my diet, I looked at her and said "Ironic that you are criticising me when you seem to have found much of the weight that I have lost". Yes, it was mean, but I was sick of it.

    Remember this is your journey, not his...tell him to kiss off or try to help him understand, but don't let it derail you. Let him see the results, then he can eat his words...and make sure that he has to choke them down with a little hot sauce too.
  • angelpie36426
    angelpie36426 Posts: 52 Member
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    You are making some changes and that is a good thing. It takes a long time for tastebuds to change even when you want them to. I had to cut out deep fried foods for a long time. because of my stomach. I occasionally treat myself to some so glorius McD fries with a fish sandwich but is a rare occurence. I do not eat the hamburgers at fast food restaurants though. It is not good for my stomach. These kind of changes do not happen overnight. It is a journey. Don't let anyone get you down. Keep on keepin on! Smelling other peoples fast food at work still makes me crave it, but I think of the digestive consequences and it does not seem so appealing any more.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    Can you hang out with your brother less?


    Hah - no, not right now. We both live at my mom's house. :[ it's been really hard for all of us, all kinds of crazy life stress and cortisol running thru the house. It's probably due to both of those factors, but I just couldn't take him arguing about numbers and weight. Oh well.

    Thank you all for your responses. I just had to vent and see if someone understood.

    There have been numerous studies that show that the use of Ginkgo Biloba decreases the production of Cortisol in the body. Check out the article: http://www.livestrong.com/article/409567-how-to-reduce-cortisol-with-ginkgo/
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,261 Member
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    Can you hang out with your brother less?


    Hah - no, not right now. We both live at my mom's house. :[ it's been really hard for all of us, all kinds of crazy life stress and cortisol running thru the house. It's probably due to both of those factors, but I just couldn't take him arguing about numbers and weight. Oh well.

    Thank you all for your responses. I just had to vent and see if someone understood.

    There have been numerous studies that show that the use of Ginkgo Biloba decreases the production of Cortisol in the body. Check out the article: http://www.livestrong.com/article/409567-how-to-reduce-cortisol-with-ginkgo/

    Thank ya ma'am!

    Seriously, guys thanks so much! I feel a ton of weight lifted from my heart and I might just be lighter from that alone! ^_^
  • ckmama
    ckmama Posts: 1,668 Member
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    Nutritionist seem to be every where when you are losing weight. :smokin: :wink:
  • tabulator32
    tabulator32 Posts: 701 Member
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    Get one of these and wear it when your brother comes over...

    i-m-not-with-stupid-anymore-t-shirt-4.png
  • CarrieMyPhilos
    CarrieMyPhilos Posts: 38 Member
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    Reading what he said to you made me so mad, too! Especially the idea that "it's all the same." It's not! Portion control, balancing calories, going for a smaller serving of something rather than taking the biggest you can get - all of those play a role. A smaller burger IS fewer calories than a bigger burger, so no, it's not the same. He's just wrong - don't let him get you down! You're doing this for you, and you have a clearer understanding of what you're doing and what you need than he does.
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
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    that's what brothers are for. you'll be fine. you have to find what works best for you, it's a learning process, and in the end, and during the journey you'll never have to talk to a soul about your choices, just show them the proof of your efforts. eat your burger eat your fries, let the haters hate, my bro did the same thing. emphasis on DID, still losing weight while going against so many weightloss myths.

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