What are your views on....wait for....CHEESE?
BeccaLevine
Posts: 315 Member
You want to know what the biggest problem is with cheese. The price!!! Who decides whether one type of cheddar should cost more than another price of cheddar? And why mozzarella has a completely different cost altogether? Well at Soapy Beaker Farm Inc we are about to change that!!!
Starting this year we will be selling equally priced cheese to all! No longer will you have to look at the price tag, because you know if its Soapy Beaker! It's the SAME PRICE!!! And don't worry, the costs of production won't ever increase, because we have the optimal nipple squeezing technique to extract the best quality milk from all of our cows. We have eliminations every week where the least producing cow is voted off the farm, this is how we keep production at its highest! We also have leprechauns working round the clock, and soon we hope to be able to provide customers their cheese via their ovens through teleportation
We are also the first cheese farm to take advantage of the power of cow synchronisation in cheese making! Our choreographer Catniss Kaninski keeps all our cows in line, the cows who can best interpret rhythm can also best understand peoples need for good cheese! So she keeps them in line!
We have also been lucky enough to capture two wild chocolate cows, and one strawberry cow!! These are responsible for the chocolate and strawberry milks and cheeses that we sell. And on a recent visit to the coast, one of our employees with the help of King Neptune ( an evil sea king) was able to capture a cranberry cow!! These have the special ability to produce lactose free dairy for all you lactose intolerant people out there!! They are also a way for us to completely dominate the fruit and vegetable market, as there will be no need for conventional fruits and veg! Our fruit cheeses will provide you with the same nutrition as fruit, plus that extra benefit of dairy!!!!
Currently we operate a farm out of Switzerland or Sweden since as we all know, they are the same place!! But we hope to be able to expand far beyond just Europe and bring our brand global! One day hopefully taking over Kraft and potentially the entire food industry!!!!
We have plans next week on our trip to Latin, to secure a whole herd of dozers. For those of you who don't know, they are special cows with spades for feet! When we bring these back with us, they will be available for you to ride on during our wedding services. And of course all weddings booked with us come with complementary cheese ♥
For any additional information, please email us at mocheezeplease@yahoo.com. THIS IS A REAL E-MAIL!! Please e-mail with serious inquiries only!
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Replies
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You know Beaker, this is omething that I have always wondered!!! Lets see what MFP has to say on the issue?0
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cheese is my friend..!0
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not too picky on what type of cheese. Love most of them except the softer ones. Here's a questions, why is swiss cheese not lower in calories since it has holes in it? lol If cheese wasn't so high in calories, I would eat a whole block of it0
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American cheese is crap. Processed nastiness.
Cheese is expensive b/c milk is expensive...and it has to be aged.0 -
cause it tastes better? lol idk but i love cheese! i like jarlsburg especially!0
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Cheese?? MMMM....good on pizza & lasagna!
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I ♥ CHEESE0
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I would assume the amount of work put into producing it, the quality of products going into it, and the length of required aging.
Only thing I could think of lol.0 -
capitalism0
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Cheese is the best food ever. It is versatile, tasty and in moderation, good for you (that is my opinion not a medical recommendation)
I love a mature Cheddar, mind you I am a bit prejudiced as I only live a few miles away from Cheddar where the cheese originated.
But I love most cheeses, a nice piece of stilton or a danish blue
Damn now I want cheese.
<wanders off muttering about cheese and calorie allowance>:grumble:0 -
I see what you did there....0
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Quality > Quantity0
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Catniss!!! You of all people understand how serious this issue is!!! I mean, one badly priced block of cheese could bring down civliliszation!!!0
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Baby Swiss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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That is like asking why isnt every loaf of bread isn't the same price... different ingredients, different quality of ingredients, different aging times and techniques. More work & higher quality ingredients = more money.0
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Cheese is the best food ever. It is versatile, tasty and in moderation, good for you (that is my opinion not a medical recommendation)
I love a mature Cheddar, mind you I am a bit prejudiced as I only live a few miles away from Cheddar where the cheese originated.
But I love most cheeses, a nice piece of stilton or a danish blue
Damn now I want cheese.
<wanders off muttering about cheese and calorie allowance>:grumble:
YOU LIVE NEAR WHERE CHEDDAR CAME FROM!?! Omg how cool!!!!!! And where is that? I need to visit!!!0 -
It differs in price the same way alcohol or meat differs....it's based on quality (which is generally affected by age, production, etc.)
And american cheese (while delicious) isn't really cheese. Or at least...it's basically the *kitten* child of the cheese world.0 -
I eat a lot of cheese since I'm meatless. I buy whatever I can get the most of and the best price and healthiest.0
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Cheese is delicious ... but so unhealthy!!0
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It differs in price the same way alcohol or meat differs....it's based on quality (which is generally affected by age, production, etc.)
And american cheese (while delicious) isn't really cheese. Or at least...it's basically the *kitten* child of the cheese world.
What do you mean age!!!? So people want to eat old cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?0 -
Cheese is delicious ... but so unhealthy!!
Cheese is not unhealthy it is a part of a balanced diet!!!!!! And soon we will be making cheese shampoos and body washes, it's a very great cleanser!!0 -
Cheese is delicious ... but so unhealthy!!
Why?
I mean...keeping in mind that I'm not talking about processed cheese....Is cheese any more unhealthy than whole milk? or butter? Yes butter gets a bad rep but it's only unhealthy if it's not eaten in moderation.0 -
It differs in price the same way alcohol or meat differs....it's based on quality (which is generally affected by age, production, etc.)
And american cheese (while delicious) isn't really cheese. Or at least...it's basically the *kitten* child of the cheese world.
What do you mean age!!!? So people want to eat old cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Yes. Cheese is aged. So is meat. So is alcohol. Usually the best stuff is aged (at least for my taste).0 -
Thats right Becca, but don't forget the Ener-Cheeze!!!! Caffeinated cheese, which is expected to completely overtake the coffee market!!0
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It differs in price the same way alcohol or meat differs....it's based on quality (which is generally affected by age, production, etc.)
And american cheese (while delicious) isn't really cheese. Or at least...it's basically the *kitten* child of the cheese world.
What do you mean age!!!? So people want to eat old cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
.....all cheese is old except cheeses like mozzarella and even then it goes through what I think is a fermentation stage.. lol0 -
It differs in price the same way alcohol or meat differs....it's based on quality (which is generally affected by age, production, etc.)
And american cheese (while delicious) isn't really cheese. Or at least...it's basically the *kitten* child of the cheese world.
What do you mean age!!!? So people want to eat old cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Yes. Cheese is aged. So is meat. So is alcohol. Usually the best stuff is aged (at least for my taste).
Some things are better aged but really aged cheese gets moldy I think!!0 -
cheese is one of those foods I can't possibly live without! lol I love provolone! Everyone buys cheese and with increase demand the cost goes up right? ( my economics teacher would be proud... lol)0
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It differs in price the same way alcohol or meat differs....it's based on quality (which is generally affected by age, production, etc.)
And american cheese (while delicious) isn't really cheese. Or at least...it's basically the *kitten* child of the cheese world.
What do you mean age!!!? So people want to eat old cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Yes. Cheese is aged. So is meat. So is alcohol. Usually the best stuff is aged (at least for my taste).
Some things are better aged but really aged cheese gets moldy I think!!
Some of the best cheeses are moldy 0 -
cheese is one of those foods I can't possibly live without! lol I love provolone! Everyone buys cheese and with increase demand the cost goes up right? ( my economics teacher would be proud... lol)
You and me would get along great!!!!!!! Cheese is the master of the universe!!0 -
Cheese is my favorite - especially good cheddars, fontinas and jacks and other mild cheeses. :drinker: I despise pungent cheeses with visible molds - so nasty. :sick:0
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