would you not send a friend request

2

Replies

  • ShellyShuey
    ShellyShuey Posts: 162
    doesnt really mean anything to me - friends are friends :)

    ^ This.
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    Yeah, I hesitate to add those with hundreds of friends. I figure they won't have time to interact or I'd be a burden to someone who's already overburdened by having so many on their friendslist. I have added a few with large friendslists and it's worked out well. But it took me awhile to finally hit that add as friend button after pondering it over for a long time.

    But I'm also kind of shy and am in general hesitant to add people. Huge friends lists just give me the excuse to close the window. There's a lot of people I'd really like to add but haven't cause I'm shy.

    edited to add: If a person requesting me has a large friendslist, it has no bearing whatsoever on my accepting their request. I just don't generally put the request out there.
  • shady1987dre
    shady1987dre Posts: 186 Member
    I would not send a request because you would never comment on my status. There is no way anyone can keep up with a bunch of friends. After after while it stops being fun and starts becoming work if you have so many. So you may stop commenting on everyone.
  • LiftBigtoGetFit
    LiftBigtoGetFit Posts: 3,399 Member
    size doesn't matter, so I am told
  • hanniejong
    hanniejong Posts: 556 Member
    I pretty much accept everyone, but if I get no interaction after a week, I'm more apt to drop the person with a large FL. Mostly, because it seems like a collection effort by them and not that they actually wanted to get to know me.


    I have a large FL, I don't see it as a collection effort, I genuinely like to encourage people. What does get to me though is the people who want you to be their friend and encourage them in their joourney, but they do not recipricate and are all take and no give, like some on my FL.
  • Devlyn_P
    Devlyn_P Posts: 294 Member
    I'm not a "friend collector" and I don't befriend them either.

    QFT. I been using this site for 2 years now and noticed a huge change in the direction of the community. It has become "Facebookish" I only friend people who are open to constructive criticism and who truly want to change their lives for the better. Sharing is caring and stay healthy my friends :wink:
  • Aperture_Science
    Aperture_Science Posts: 840 Member
    I don't worry about adding people with huge friends lists and have found that those that do often provide more and better feedback than those with fewer friends

    Also, with people with lots of friends you get to see their conversations on their news feeds. I've learnt a lot about exercise an nutrition from these conversations, even when I've not participated in the conversation myself.

    Finally I'd like to say that I have friended a few people because it makes it easier to see and find their forum posts. These are people that I have seen posting several times and I respect their opinions. Often with these people I have little to zero social interaction; I'm happy with that and they seem to be happy also.
  • DeBiKin
    DeBiKin Posts: 107 Member
    When someone FR me, I do check them out first. I think that most people who already have large FL aren't really looking to add new friends, I think it's new people and that they go looking to add a bunch of friends a soon a they join so when we first became friends they didn't have a large FL but that quickly changed a my wall fills up with everybodies' notification "So-N- So is now friends with Somebody Else".
    I don't mind other people having as many friends as they want but it does make me start to wonder about their motives ie: am I just there to be one of their many fans?
    To me, if you are on my FL then you are there to interact with... Personally, I cannot realistically interact with that many people... I guess I could if it was completely superficial but these lives have genuine meaning and I truly care about how my "friends" are doing.
    :)
  • opalescence
    opalescence Posts: 413 Member
    It can be a little daunting, especially if you have a very low FL count. You’re never quite sure if they are friend spammers or the really cool kids.
    I dont like to think I'm missing out on anything ,ever lol :noway:
  • thebaconbeast
    thebaconbeast Posts: 560 Member
    Yes because it makes me doubt we'd talk much , so there's not really any point.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Yes because it makes me doubt we'd talk much , so there's not really any point.

    :noway:

    <<< Has 200+ friends... and you're one of 'em!!
  • beach_please
    beach_please Posts: 533 Member
    Yes because it makes me doubt we'd talk much , so there's not really any point.

    I agree. I don't know how people who have 300+ friends can keep up with everyone.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Yes because it makes me doubt we'd talk much , so there's not really any point.

    I agree. I don't know how people who have 300+ friends can keep up with everyone.

    Some people aren't really social, but they like to follow you're status updates and forum posts. I know this ain't Twitter, but that has been my experience. I've actually tried to reduce the list, but I don't feel right obligatorily cutting people for no reason. I've tried to just be a little more restrictive with who I accept.
  • HotCuppaJo
    HotCuppaJo Posts: 476 Member
    If you noticed the person's friend's list was large?

    My FL is getting up there, but i honestly talk with everyone on my list. maybe not everyday, but i try to comment on everyone who has given a status update within a few pages of me logging on. every now and again, i go through delete phases where i delete those i dont talk to. nothing personal, i just like to converse with my friends. (Well, sometimes its personal because after awhile, i realize i just wouldnt be friends with certain people. which is just normal - you dont stay friends with every person you meet, do you?)

    So i was just wondering... does a large FL turn you off? Id be bummed if i missed out on cool people juat because of it.

    Honestly, if they have 200+, I figure they wouldn't really want me to request them, as they have a LOT already. If someone w/ a lot of friends requests ME, that's a different story. I'd definitely accept. :)
  • gseburn
    gseburn Posts: 456 Member
    To be honest, just today, I decided not to send a request to someone who had 800+ friends. I can't imagine keeping track of everyone if I had that many.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Are you a collector if you have a huge friends list and the majority are people who sent YOU a request? :laugh:

    Personally, I think people think about the friend-aspect way too much. So many assumptions being made on all different aspects of it, and so many with their own set of guidelines as to what "being a friend" means. Like it's some kind of social contract.

    I'm active on the forum, but not on the walls because of the lack of notifications if someone posts a response. But I'll sent a FR if they're really awesome because I want to stalk them ... I mean, follow their posts.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    I accept all friend requests because its really not as serious as some people try to make it seem. I do delete some friends who post about disordered eating habits (with no intention of getting better) or ones that are just generally annoying on my feed.
  • LAWoman79
    LAWoman79 Posts: 348 Member
    I don't deny people the request, but I do delete then if they have not logged for 2 weeks, or if they are douchie.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I don't even look. I rarely send them, but if someone has inspired me to do so, the person's no. of friends doesn't matter.
  • Fockertots
    Fockertots Posts: 221
    I actually take the fact that they have a large.......FL to mean that they must rock. I don't really give two thoughts to the fact that people are friend collectors and if so, whatever. I try and interact with everyone as much as I can, but don't go out of my way to contact all 100+ per day, because I feel that makes my comments seem superficial and disgenuine (is that a word?).
  • vaderandbill
    vaderandbill Posts: 1,063 Member
    I have a rather low FL and I am very active with most of them but what I've found is that I get deleted regulary from those with a majority of friends from the opposite sex. All I can figure is that I don't comment enough on a$$es and boobs for their liking because as I said, I interact with the people on my list.

    Otherwise the amount of friends doesn't matter.
  • PrincessMissDee
    PrincessMissDee Posts: 183 Member
    I added everyone that asked me at the beginning and did a couple of "Are you from London" posts that got me a good crew, but now if I add someone it's either because they have commented really well on something and I'm keen to see how it turns out, or because they generally seem very supportive. I don't look at the size of their Friends list first.

    However I am now at about 100 and I can see that a good few of them just throw their own statuses out there 6 times a day, or they collect comments without ever commenting on my work, or they just moan DAILY about how awful their lives are and how they overate by 6000 calories AGAIN.

    These people are just about ready to go.
  • DeenaSteelerGirl
    DeenaSteelerGirl Posts: 421 Member
    I hate turning down any request.. you never know who you are turning down.. so I except requests.. but don't mean I talk daily with all on my list.. no time for that.. but I am as supportive as I can be..
  • beach_please
    beach_please Posts: 533 Member
    Yes because it makes me doubt we'd talk much , so there's not really any point.

    I agree. I don't know how people who have 300+ friends can keep up with everyone.

    Some people aren't really social, but they like to follow you're status updates and forum posts. I know this ain't Twitter, but that has been my experience. I've actually tried to reduce the list, but I don't feel right obligatorily cutting people for no reason. I've tried to just be a little more restrictive with who I accept.

    I by no means judge someone for having that many. I have a few on my FL who have A LOT. I just tend to think if they have that many friends, if I send them a request will they really even want to accept. What would I even bring to the table? ;-) And, I totally agree with you about cutting people.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    Their amount of friends means nothing to me. If something about them interests me or I think we'd get along IRl, or we have something in common~I'll send a FR.

    I'll accept almost anyone. If there isn't much interaction after a while (I usually give it a reasonable amount of time....like a month or two) I'll delete them.
  • charanne52
    charanne52 Posts: 88 Member
    When I joined MFP I sent out a specific request for friends in my age group and one or two of the people who befriended me when I started had a large list of friends but they have been here for quite a long time. They are very supportive and encouraging but if they weren't I would have no qualms in deleting them exactly the same way I would anyone else who I wasn't interacting with. I have been very lucky with the people I chose and the list size of my friends does not really matter to me but I do not want a large group of friends for myself. I currently have about 20 on my list as I like to be able to devote more attention to a few select rather than pay lip service to many. I only send out (or respond) to requests if I think we have interests in common and will be able to help each other on this journey.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    No. Some ppl have issues with collectors but I'm not sure what constitutes a collector. If a big FL makes someone a collector, then I have several friends who are collectors and completely awesome people that I could never part with.


    i think collectors are those who just gather friends, but have no notion on even trying to keep up with them.
    People who FR you and you haven't had ANY interaction or mutual friends, there's note with the request, the FL is long and they never comment on their friends' pages or post on the board. I've gotten a couple of those. I used to accept everyone, but now I won't if it's a collector, and if I do before I realize it, I unfriend. I don't want to be collected.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Are you a collector if you have a huge friends list and the majority are people who sent YOU a request? :laugh:

    Personally, I think people think about the friend-aspect way too much. So many assumptions being made on all different aspects of it, and so many with their own set of guidelines as to what "being a friend" means. Like it's some kind of social contract.

    I'm active on the forum, but not on the walls because of the lack of notifications if someone posts a response. But I'll sent a FR if they're really awesome because I want to stalk them ... I mean, follow their posts.

    This is why I sent you a request! :flowerforyou: I don't send that many requests out. Most of my friends sent them to me. I'm not all that hung up about someone I requested interacting with me, because mostly the reason I sent the FR in the first place is because I have a lot of respect for that person and it's easier for me to keep up with them that way. If they send me the request, and then they never interact with me, that's when I cut the cord. I usually give them a month, and inactive peeps get cut after 2 months, unless I know there's a reason they've been inactive, like a health problem.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    to be honest i dont add ppl with alot of friends (unless they are really attractive or they really catch my attention on these boards) i like to interact with my MFPs and if im 1/590 i highly doubt i'll be noticed
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    I've actuallly NEVER looked at a person's friend size and thought anything, except for when they only had like 7 or less and I think, "Oh man, if this is going to work you need MORE friends!"

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