Suggestions to help & encourage my overweight niece.....

Lozze

I was a year younger when my auntie had this discussion with me. Offered a weight I should be, offered hints and tips. My auntie is one of my best friends, then and now. I cried myself to sleep that night.

OP all you are going to achieve is hurting your niece even more. You are not close to her, see her once a year and you don't like her. You're doing this out of obligation not out of care. The advice to get to know you niece is the best. Find something you like about her. This girl already has enough issues without you adding to them. I assure you she's aware of her weight. Talk to the people who can change it your parents. Suggest councelling if it's possible.

Krissy366

I've switched just about everything in our house without telling my two young kids (7&4) to all natural products( I.E. natural jiff peanut butter the ingredients are peanut butter and palm oil) Having a diabetic grandfather I use to eat and snack with him growing up which was pretty bland when it came to ingredients in taste so I knew my biggest challenge was keeping them wanting to eat healthy. Our household in my opinion would rank at the 7.5 or 8 out of 10 for the health factor when it comes to food and the kids eat really wellm here's how we did it. Starting with my 4 year old, he would wake up all hours of the night , be hyper etc. Most people called it being a kid but my wife and I knew it was his diet. We went though the cupboards and ditched anything that had preservatives and or sugary. Product number one was Nutella! You might as well be feeding your kids cotton candy with this stuff. Instead of sugar we use stevia in the raw which is a plant that is 300% more sweeter than sugar but has zero calories, does not effect the glucose spiking our kids blood sugar making it safe for diabetics as well. We took the stevia and baked cookies, cakes, fresh squeezed lemonade. We also created a shelf in the fridge thats strictly for the kids, if they want a snack they can help themselves as much as they want from that shelf only. On that shelf is string cheese, yogurts lots of fruit pre-peeled and cut up if needed. This takes all the thinking out of "what should I eat" for them. So although the foods that they eat may seem like the sugary stuff they like, there is in fact no sugar in them which allows their pancreas to stay steady with the insulin production keeping them from going crazy candy freaks then crashing into naps which messes up their sleep patterns causing them to wake me up through the night

:drinker:

I applaud you and wish more parents were like this. I get that parenting is tough - and I get that it's a whole new battle once kids are school aged and influenced by outside forces, but I hate when I see little kids walking around with bags of chips or candy or just eating junk in general. At early ages there is no one responsible for their food but you (with occassional exceptions). I saw a woman on the bus recently repeatedly giving her kid Starbursts. The kid couldn't have been more than 3 and in the 10 minute bus ride had eaten 3 Starbursts, which the mother clearly bought and provided for her. It's just so unnecessary. You get a few scant years to completely control diet and influence their choices, why in the hell would you introduce that junk? And I know for some people they just don't know any better. I just wish more people knew better.

bluiz13

i dont pity her....i want her to be healthy...just because i dont enjoy being around her does not mean i dont want what is best for her....if there was nothing to love about this "poor child" i would have said screw it let her get bigger..BUT i'm not, i want to help her...seriously why do you think i asked for help with this....i'm pretty surprised by some of the replies but i guess that is what happens when you ask for opinions....no worries, i will work with her when i go home and i will work with my parents (her grandparents) and i will do what i can....that is all anyone can do....denise

You're very sweet, but please for the love of humanity find something you can love and cherish about this poor girl instead of just acting out of pity. Then play up on that. People sense how you really feel, whether they consciously know it or not. There has to be something worth loving about the poor child, so find it!

bluiz13

thank you very much...well said and pretty much what i think i'm going to do....

I would suggest letting her talk to you about her health/weight and ask about your journey. Tell her what you did, what you went through as a teenager etc. Rather than a "you should do this...you need to do this..." conversation. Just listen to her story and then share yours. Offer to be a long distant support and sounding board. To truly make a difference, simply be an example while home. Teenagers will watch and learn from what they see and respond to that far more than they will to advice, not matter how well meaning.

Lead by example. Try and influence the food choices while visiting. Talk to your Dad and Step-mom about balancing their meals more to have a better variety and options so she can have choices. Most likey you will not be able to turn them into a full-blown healthy house but if you cook a few really tasty yet good for you meals, leave them with examples on how to change it up etc. You have a shot at leaving after vacation with a real impression and example.

Just my .02

bluiz13

it does have to do with her grandparents who she lives with and if you read other things that i have replied to on this post I AM GOING to have a talk with them as well...my stepmom will be far more help than my dad who is clueless and honestly not a great role model....my step mom is just overwhelmed with having another child to raise after her 2 grew up and as sad as it is to say has pretty much just given up so my niece is suffering because of lack of interest. i want them all to change and make better choices but i am primarily concerned with chelsie and that is what i am going to work on while i'm there.....

i really dont understand why people think an overweight child's weight has nothing to do with the parents.

stubbysticks

I think it's great that you're concerned and want to see her making more healthy choices.

With that said, you said you're not close, you never see her, she's a pain in the *kitten*, and you perceive her as having many issues. She is probably likewise not under the illusion that the two of you are close. My recommendation would be to walk away slowly and leave it up to someone else. There's just about no possible way any sort of conversation can occur with a positive outcome given this set of circumstances. In terms of how ideal the situation is, I would rank it slightly below walking up to a complete stranger and beginning a conversation with, "So, I noticed you're fat..."

^^^^^^^^
THIS.