Told my mum i'm thinking of loosing weight...

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  • petreebird
    petreebird Posts: 344 Member
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    If no one else eats it I would kindly ask your mother for the receipt and return every item while explaining to her WHY you are returning them.

    If that doesn't work or mom gets attitude (hey, it does happen) I would promptly open each container, again WHILE explaining to her why, and dump the open container in the trash.

    Hey do what ya gotta do!
  • mcarter99
    mcarter99 Posts: 1,666 Member
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    Have you asked her why, or do you already know? Maybe she actually cares about your health and feels you would be harmed by dieting? I have no idea your situation or over/underweightness but as a mother I can't imagine any other reason she'd sabotage you.
  • DiannaMoorer
    DiannaMoorer Posts: 783 Member
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    That is just plain mean!
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,280 Member
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    If no one else eats it I would kindly ask your mother for the receipt and return every item while explaining to her WHY you are returning them.

    If that doesn't work or mom gets attitude (hey, it does happen) I would promptly open each container, again WHILE explaining to her why, and dump the open container in the trash.

    Hey do what ya gotta do!

    Throwing it out is just as childish as the mother buying it in the first place. In fact, it is MORE childish.

    Mom can buy whatever food she wants and have whatever food she wants in the house. If someone wants to have total control then they should get their own place and buy their own food. Otherwise, you deal.
  • cutejohnsongirl
    cutejohnsongirl Posts: 3
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    Wow....I know how that feels. My family eats icecream around me all the time!! And I LOVE ICECREAM. I have the biggest sweet tooth...Not fair.
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
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    Here is a novel idea. Buy your own food.

    Buying her own food wouldn't make the the temptation of those desserts lying around the house magically disappear though
  • MissMormie
    MissMormie Posts: 359 Member
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    Talk with your mom. But in a useful way.

    Explain how it makes you feel when she buys you this stuff right after you said you wanted to loose some weight. Tell her you're trying to take good care of yourself, like she has taken good care of you for years (maybe not in food, but in morals, education and so on). And explain that it would help you and make you feel better if she could support you in this, or at least, not buy this type of stuff for you.

    Do not try and guess why she's doing this. Ask her instead. If she feels she's helping you in some way by buying this, perhaps you can come up with a better way to help you together. ie. if she wants you to feel good about yourself, no matter how you look ask her to give compliments about your personality rather than appearance. As that's the part of you you need to love.

    Do not blame her, do not say she's making your fail. Just say what you feel. Ie. It feels like you want me to fail, leaves the table wide open for her to explain why she's doing this. While saying you're making me fail is attacking her directly, leaving as the only defence 'No I don't".
  • senyosmom
    senyosmom Posts: 613 Member
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    throw it away and tell her to stop wasting her money. :)
  • mcarter99
    mcarter99 Posts: 1,666 Member
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    If no one else eats it I would kindly ask your mother for the receipt and return every item while explaining to her WHY you are returning them.

    If that doesn't work or mom gets attitude (hey, it does happen) I would promptly open each container, again WHILE explaining to her why, and dump the open container in the trash.

    Hey do what ya gotta do!

    Throwing it out is just as childish as the mother buying it in the first place. In fact, it is MORE childish.

    Mom can buy whatever food she wants and have whatever food she wants in the house. If someone wants to have total control then they should get their own place and buy their own food. Otherwise, you deal.

    I tend to agree. I have plenty of 'non-diet' food in my house because we're not all dieters and we don't all have to eat what I eat. You learn that your choices are your choices and you can leave that food sit there for the others to eat. Or to rot. It doesn't matter. We have the control over what we eat.
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
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    My dad does this. We live in a huge house with my parents and my kids, and it is hell trying to get my kids to eat right with my parents here, all they buy is junk then complain about how bad they feel. I have finally gotten my dad to hide all his crap in his room. Every time he steps out the door he comes back with 4 boxes of donuts. Every scrap of decent food in this house, I bought. Then when I go for it, it's gone. They eat my stuff and replace it with crap!
  • Dragonnade
    Dragonnade Posts: 218 Member
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    Ask her when the WI are coming round and if they wouldn't be more impressed if she'd actually done the baking herself. Cos that's a LOT of cake and there's definitely a legitimate question of how many people she thinks she's feeding up for winter.
  • antiwings
    antiwings Posts: 34
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    Here is a novel idea. Buy your own food.

    Thanks for your novel idea, very useful to me.

    No one is going to help you but you.

    I have to ask. How likely is it that she is going to be able to afford to buy her own food seeing as she is 19? I'm 20 and even though I work 30 hours a week, after I pay rent to my parents I barely have enough money to buy my own food.
    Besides, even if he does buy her own food, that doesnt stop parents, friends or other family members buying unhealty food in the attempt to make you fat/sabotarge weight loss.

    I would say just leave it, and try your hardest not to touch it, then when it goes off its her problem.
  • gumigal82
    gumigal82 Posts: 350
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    My dad always worries about me "losing weight", when for me it's about being fit. He worries about me getting too skinny like I was when I was a kid, which was a time when I was unhealthy. So for him, he is being supportive in his brain when he brings me cookies, ice cream, etc....it's his way of showing his love.

    In my home though, if I want to eat a certain way, I need to buy and cook all my own food.
  • Minnie92x
    Minnie92x Posts: 107
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    Here is a novel idea. Buy your own food.

    Thanks for your novel idea, very useful to me.

    No one is going to help you but you.

    I have to ask. How likely is it that she is going to be able to afford to buy her own food seeing as she is 19? I'm 20 and even though I work 30 hours a week, after I pay rent to my parents I barely have enough money to buy my own food.
    Besides, even if he does buy her own food, that doesnt stop parents, friends or other family members buying unhealty food in the attempt to make you fat/sabotarge weight loss.

    I would say just leave it, and try your hardest not to touch it, then when it goes off its her problem.

    This exactly! The food is there, the temptation is there. Like I said I can't afford my own food so chill out on 'buy your own food'. I can't buy heathy and I can't buy unhealthy.
  • xLexa
    xLexa Posts: 482 Member
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    When we think about our Mother's and their relationship with food it isn't hard to understand her :) Traditionally mothers have shown their love through the food they prepare for their families. It is just one of the many ways. How many of us have been sad and our mothers have said, have a hug and some chocolate you will feel better. When I stepped briefly into vegetarianism in my teens, my father insisted on putting meat on my plate, which i pushed to the side and politely ignored his silent insistences. I think they just try to show they care :)
  • o_delaisse
    o_delaisse Posts: 193 Member
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    Did she buy it for you? Because if she bought it for herself, well, she's not the one on the diet. Temptation is always going to be about, you might as well throw yourself in the deep end. I don't think it's fair to get grumpy if she bought that stuff for herself.
  • Minnie92x
    Minnie92x Posts: 107
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    Did she buy it for you? Because if she bought it for herself, well, she's not the one on the diet. Temptation is always going to be about, you might as well throw yourself in the deep end. I don't think it's fair to get grumpy if she bought that stuff for herself.

    She doesn't eat desserts, so they aren't for her.
  • o_delaisse
    o_delaisse Posts: 193 Member
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    Did she buy it for you? Because if she bought it for herself, well, she's not the one on the diet. Temptation is always going to be about, you might as well throw yourself in the deep end. I don't think it's fair to get grumpy if she bought that stuff for herself.

    She doesn't eat desserts, so they aren't for her.

    Well, you don't any more cos you're going to be healthy now :)

    I'm sorry my reply seemed a little sharp, I was a bit out of order. I'M the grumpy b*tch today :)
  • Minnie92x
    Minnie92x Posts: 107
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    Did she buy it for you? Because if she bought it for herself, well, she's not the one on the diet. Temptation is always going to be about, you might as well throw yourself in the deep end. I don't think it's fair to get grumpy if she bought that stuff for herself.

    She doesn't eat desserts, so they aren't for her.

    Well, you don't any more cos you're going to be healthy now :)

    I'm sorry my reply seemed a little sharp, I was a bit out of order. I'M the grumpy b*tch today :)

    Great response!!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Not trying to be the devil's advocate but heres the way I see things after reading the boards

    For parents, its damn if you do, damn if you don't

    They say something like "hey I think you're getting a bit chunky, time to lose weight?" and they're being "unsupportive and its just like them and they hate me and want me fat and are jealous of me and want me dead"

    They say something like "hey, I think you've lost enough weight, time to stop losing weight maybe?" and they're being "unsupportive and its just like them and they hate me and want me fat and are jealous of me and want me dead"

    See a pattern? I honestly don't know your situation. Maybe she's keeping the treats around for herself, maybe her guests, maybe she's just being nice to you. Maybe she thinks that you're thin enough and don't need to lose anymore. We possibly couldn't know. I do know that she doesn't hate you or is jealous by you.

    Also one thing to remember is that parents like to compare food with love. Its a human psychology thing. We as species in the thousands of years of our lives have struggled with food and have often use it as means to express love for each other. In her mentality NOT providing good and delicious foods for her child can possibly equate to not giving you a comfortable and good life.

    I understand your dilemma too but you should look at it from her POV too. I skimmed through the forums and my reply isn't towards you exactly but more towards the general population who have this ideology that their parents are out to get them and want to drag them down. Exceptions live but most likely not in your case.

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