Did dating standards go up when you lose weight?

directorj

So you lost, XXX amount of weight and now you look and feel more confident. Did your perception change in who you want to date? Maybe the new you, is attracting the opposite sex a bit better?

JulieH3art

Not consciously. I've always been super attracted to guys I connect well with, and that's always been on the nerdier side of the scale... There have been some exes in my past that aren't exactly face models.

The guy I'm with now is by far the best looking of all the boyfriends I've had. I didn't plan it that way, he went after me. I didn't choose him because of his looks.

Frankly, guys who are good looking can be intimidating to me. They used to make me feel like crap. If they try to hit on me, I always feel like it's a joke or a dare or whatever. Does that make sense? I'm much more confident, much more at ease around less attractive guys. It's not their fault, it's entirely me.

It's weird, this whole choosing someone thing, isn't it?

afigueroa_pr

My taste for women are the same no matter what weight I am. The difference is in my approach toward them. Of course you'e going to feel super confident when you look better and most important feel better about yourself.

rungirl1973

No, I like what I like.

Princess_Sameen

no my taste in guys has never changed....consistency

akaporn

If you need rock hard abs to be able to feel confidence about yourself, there's something wrong there. You shouldn't settle for anything less than what you really want. Take it from a nerdy guy who's dating a supermodel.

CoderGal

XXX=030 lbs

No, it didn't change anything. I think I got more attention from guys when I was heavier, ironically.

taunto

my standards didn't go up but they were pretty high to begin with.

What did happen is that it got easier

Mercenary1914

If you need rock hard abs to be able to feel confidence about yourself, there's something wrong there. You shouldn't settle for anything less than what you really want. Take it from a nerdy guy who's dating a supermodel.

you should have signed off like this:


"""Take it from a nerdy (PAID) guy who's dating a supermodel."""

CherokeeBabe

Mine have always stayed the same, from 115, to 135, and I'm sure it'll all be the same as I lose the next 15lbs or so. I tend to go for geeky guys...glasses, video games, things like that. I like intelligence and fun personality more than 'model looks'.

Bobby_Clerici

The pool of available partners goes up considerably the more fat a person loses.
That's reality.

TheRoadDog

Nope. My wife still won't let me date.

AlicynH

I heard once that you date and marry on your confidence level. I married my husband when I was extremely over weight. At the time, I was 30 years old and didn't feel like any other opportunity would happen. There are more days than not that I wish I would have waited. He doesn't like my weight loss because I'm more confident and want to dress in more stylish clothing. Sadly, I can honestly say that if I hadn't been so over weight when I got married, I never would have married him.

directorj

If you need rock hard abs to be able to feel confidence about yourself, there's something wrong there. You shouldn't settle for anything less than what you really want. Take it from a nerdy guy who's dating a supermodel.

True but it wouldn't be the same if you were extremely fat. 300lbs dating a supermodel? Probably will not happen unless you're banking it.

Cliffslosinit

Still single...exercise can't work off this face

sktllmdrhmz

What are these "standards" you speak of?

ahjenny

My ideal man hasn't changed, but I have noticed that I'm getting a lot more attention from a lot more different types of guys.

noirnatural

The pool of available partners goes up considerably the more fat a person loses.
That's reality.

:huh:

mznisaelaine

From being 18 years old and skinny (low confidence), 20 years old and 50 pounds over weight (no confidence at all) , and now 22 years (a little confidence starting to show) and almost at a healthy weight, my standards did change in the sense where as I am getting older and my confidence is increasing so I am making better (mature) choices in terms of dating standards

becoming_a_new_me

For me, losing weight has been a process of self-discovery and realization. I've made many steps to improve myself along with my health including going back to school and addressing my inner demons. I would say that I have raised my dating standards not necessarily because I have lost weight, but because I believe in myself now so will not settle on someone who is not as self-aware and stable as I am. I used to go for the controlling and abusive types because I didn't think I was good enough for something better. I now know that I am deserving of someone who will give as much into the relationship as I do.

secretlobster

I was dating the same person steadily through my weight loss. I think your question could be taken a couple of different ways - Do I think I could date more attractive men now than I could before I lost weight? Yes absolutely.

secretlobster

From being 18 years old and skinny (low confidence), 20 years old and 50 pounds over weight (no confidence at all) , and now 22 years (a little confidence starting to show) and almost at a healthy weight, my standards did change in the sense where as I am getting older and my confidence is increasing so I am making better (mature) choices in terms of dating standards

THIS... Your standards should increase as you mature!!

bellavita0125

I'll let you know when I get there. oh wait, i'm married. shucks!

BigDaddyBRC

If they change, you're head was only in the right place half the time

bellavita0125

Nope. My wife still won't let me date.

^^^^LOL

kiminikimkim

It depends on the standards.

As my confidence grew I chose not to be with "Bad boys". My Bad Boy standards were:
1) Employed, made more than I did
2) Owned a car
3) Nice wardrobe
4) Outgoing, flirty

My new standards are:
1) Gentleman
2) Employed or self-employed but can make less than I do
3) Sweet, romantic
4) Pro-environment
5) Eats healthily

lorihalsted

For me, losing weight has been a process of self-discovery and realization. I've made many steps to improve myself along with my health including going back to school and addressing my inner demons. I would say that I have raised my dating standards not necessarily because I have lost weight, but because I believe in myself now so will not settle on someone who is not as self-aware and stable as I am. I used to go for the controlling and abusive types because I didn't think I was good enough for something better. I now know that I am deserving of someone who will give as much into the relationship as I do.

\

Very well stated. I stayed with a man way too long (10 years) just because I didn't think I deserved better. I dumped him with no intention of ever dating again and met my husband 2 months later who is the best man in the whole wide world (for me!).

My standards didn't change per say I just realized I didn't have to hang on to the worthless piece of trash I had. I started thinking on a a different level. I can't really explain it.

ScottyNoHotty

Nope...I still go after the lonely, drunk girl sitting at the bar at closing time....

coachblt

My standards? What standards? If I get a feeling that she's into me, I'll ask her out. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten that feeling in 7 years...:laugh: :noway:

directorj

It depends on the standards.

As my confidence grew I chose not to be with "Bad boys". My Bad Boy standards were:
1) Employed, made more than I did
2) Owned a car
3) Nice wardrobe
4) Outgoing, flirty

My new standards are:
1) Gentleman
2) Employed or self-employed but can make less than I do
3) Sweet, romantic
4) Pro-environment
5) Eats healthily

Wow well said

ashlinmarie

Physically, my husband is not my type at all. He kind of tricked me into dating him, but after two months I got to know him and knew I'd be with him for the rest of my life. I was 145 when we met and I was just as attracted to him at 195 and I have no doubt it will remain the same when I'm back at 145!

His intelligence and personality is just so much higher than the other guys I dated, even though he is only the second most attractive guy I've been with. (The most attractive was the most emotionally immature...19 and had never held a girls hand or anything...we had a good run, but looking back we never could have lasted).