Did dating standards go up when you lose weight?

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Replies

  • Justacoffeenut
    Justacoffeenut Posts: 3,749 Member
    I heard once that you date and marry on your confidence level. I married my husband when I was extremely over weight. At the time, I was 30 years old and didn't feel like any other opportunity would happen. There are more days than not that I wish I would have waited. He doesn't like my weight loss because I'm more confident and want to dress in more stylish clothing. Sadly, I can honestly say that if I hadn't been so over weight when I got married, I never would have married him.

    I have to say this broke my heart reading it :brokenheart:
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    No. In fact, evidently, they went down as one of my friends here informed me I would have to pay for sex now. :sad:
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    You know the reacher and the settler...

    I've just changed which one I am..

    Just playing haha
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    no i always go for who im attracted to...whether im fat black and ugly as ever or slightly smaller
  • tom1834
    tom1834 Posts: 34
    my standard haven't really changed but more weight I lose the more I feel like I go from "not a chance in hell" to "what are you doing Friday night?" In someones mind.
  • Cambrendle
    Cambrendle Posts: 104 Member
    I would say that I have raised my dating standards not necessarily because I have lost weight, but because I believe in myself now so will not settle on someone who is not as self-aware and stable as I am. I used to go for the controlling and abusive types because I didn't think I was good enough for something better. I now know that I am deserving of someone who will give as much into the relationship as I do.
    \

    ^^ This, it doesn't have anything to do with losing weight. As I got older and dated a more variety of men, I found what I like and don't like personality wise - it doesn't always come in the package of rock hard abs - or the really nice guy that would do anything for you. It's a matter of can we have fun together, can I depend on you when I absolutely need something done or something goes wrong, are you able to make your own decisions or are you a follower, can you pay your own bills, can you be faithful, and most importantly, how you display your anger. the lean and muscled body is definitely the stuff of dreams - but not always the best reality... in my experience...
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    The pool of available partners goes up considerably the more fat a person loses.
    That's reality.

    Yep. This. I noticed after I dropped 20 pounds I was suddenly getting hit on constantly. I gained it back, barely got a glance. Back down 12 pounds, and I'm starting to turn heads again. I've noticed this the past month especially at the gym. It's as if I suddenly became visible. And I don't mind.

    As far as my taste in men? Nope. I don't need him to be super hot. But he must be smart. Hot helps. Good thing I married my husband. He's both.

    Having said that, I've gotten in really good shape over the past 4 months -I'm talking cardio and endurance. I'm still too big for my own personal taste. My husband has gotten really out of shape. When we do things together physically, I'm always leading the way. I don't like that.
  • capnwo85
    capnwo85 Posts: 1,103 Member
    I seem to get no love regardless of what shape I'm in. :ohwell:
  • rm830
    rm830 Posts: 531 Member

    No, it didn't change anything. I think I got more attention from guys when I was heavier, ironically.

    Same here....I don't get it...
  • Friday74
    Friday74 Posts: 36 Member
    Nope, standards didn't change. Unfortunately, neither did the very limited local population here :grumble: Ah, well, crazy cat lady is probably in my skill set :laugh:
  • LadyGhostDuchess
    LadyGhostDuchess Posts: 894 Member
    I felt more confident in myself and I think that helped me to attract myself to the guys I had always had my "mental crush" on.
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
    I think I get more dates than I would have when I was +50 lbs, but I don't know that I turn as many heads as I had hoped I would. I know my confidence has gone up significantly and with that I am getting a little pickier. I think, "C'mon, I'm hot... where are all the hot guys?" Of course, I'm still single.... so maybe I'm not as hot as I think I am :indifferent:
  • carriempls
    carriempls Posts: 326 Member
    My standards and tastes didn't change a bit. I am extremely picky when it comes to dating and always have been. I rarely met men I was interested in anyway.

    I simply didn't date much when I was obese as I didn't have the confidence and self esteem. Losing 50 pounds made it easier for me to attract potential suitors, partly from my looks, sure, but more in that I became more attractive as a healthier person. I gained confidence. I made a lot of improvements in my life around that time.


    I've still got a ways to go but I caught my bf a few years ago. I had lost some weight and I'm losing more now.

    Edit to add - I've always been the kind of girl who'd rather be alone than with someone for the sake of having someone. I'm perfectly happy single. That means I could always keep my standards.
  • Sililily115
    Sililily115 Posts: 45

    No, it didn't change anything. I think I got more attention from guys when I was heavier, ironically.

    Same here....I don't get it...

    maybe they are just intimidated by your awesome new body? :wink:
  • Will_Thrust_For_Candy
    Will_Thrust_For_Candy Posts: 6,109 Member
    I would say that I have raised my dating standards not necessarily because I have lost weight, but because I believe in myself now so will not settle on someone who is not as self-aware and stable as I am. I used to go for the controlling and abusive types because I didn't think I was good enough for something better. I now know that I am deserving of someone who will give as much into the relationship as I do.
    \

    ^^ This, it doesn't have anything to do with losing weight. As I got older and dated a more variety of men, I found what I like and don't like personality wise - it doesn't always come in the package of rock hard abs - or the really nice guy that would do anything for you. It's a matter of can we have fun together, can I depend on you when I absolutely need something done or something goes wrong, are you able to make your own decisions or are you a follower, can you pay your own bills, can you be faithful, and most importantly, how you display your anger. the lean and muscled body is definitely the stuff of dreams - but not always the best reality... in my experience...


    This ^^^^^^^ On both accounts. The only other thing I notice now is that I am more apt to be attracted to someone who also leads a healthy lifestyle whereas before I would have avoided that due to a lack of confidence/level of embarrassment.
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
    guys stare and hit on me more with my newfound confidence, and flattering as it is, my husband has been the only one for me since i was barely a teen. not jumping ship just cause i look better. he had my back at my worst, and he derseves to see me at my best.
  • Bastiencade
    Bastiencade Posts: 81
    It never had any effect on the types of men I found attractive. I have the same taste today as I did when I was 100+ pounds heavier.

    The only thing that changed was that I was a lot less pateint with potential partners. The fact my confidence level had raised so much made me a lot more comfortable to express the way I felt about certain things. I was a push-over and would let things slide because I didn't think I could do any better. Now I don't accept anything less than what I personally need out of a relationship.
  • NYChick84
    NYChick84 Posts: 331 Member
    No...my standards still apply. It's not necessarily what's on the outside that's important, it's what's on the inside. Good morals and values, stable, has a job, have things in common....I never thought of my standards "going up" as a result to losing weight. I was never attracted to model-looking men. A good-hearted man comes in many different forms. That's what I search for.

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