Probably the best ad posted on Craigslist. Ever in life.

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  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    I do NOT wish to party with this one.
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
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    That is awesome!
  • MinnesotaManimal
    MinnesotaManimal Posts: 642 Member
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    oh my god... Dad?????
  • Genem30
    Genem30 Posts: 431 Member
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    Dammit, I always miss the free imitation crab meat!
  • statickey
    statickey Posts: 309 Member
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    Lol! Love trains and imitation crab meat.
  • statickey
    statickey Posts: 309 Member
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    UGH..figures it would be in my city!! LOL! Go Bucks! :flowerforyou:
    Ugh??.? Are you kidding? I will pay you to go check this place out and take a pic with the ads author!

    I almost emailed him lol just to tell him he's awesome. I love Columbus lol
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
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    :laugh:
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,366 Member
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    I love this one:

    Drunk Daughters BMW

    Selling my disrespectful, alcohol abusing, dwi arrested, spoiled bar bum of a daughters perfect BMW X3. The is a white X3 si, with xenon headlights, panoramic roof, all beige leather interior, all options with 105,000 miles on it. Just completed it's 100,000 maintenance 2 months ago and is in complete and perfect condition with only the driver being the malfunction. We paid $20,500 12 months ago for the vehicle. Needing to sell to pay her legal battles and to buy her a shiny pink bicycle with a horn until she gets her act and her life in order some time soon. Beautiful car with no exterior, interior, or mechanical issues. Call xxx-xxx-xxxx for information or to purchase.
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,366 Member
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    This one was posted in San francisco and kinda goes hand in hand with yours.

    Best.Roomate.Ever

    Konichiwa *****es. Are you looking for the most kick-*kitten* ****ing roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You ****ing found him. I'm a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-*kitten* companies in New York ****ing City. That's right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky ****-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post **** like this on Craigslist.

    Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no ****ing clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a **** if I have to sleep in your bathtub.

    A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your ****. If you leave **** out, I'm just like, "Oh **** I better not mess with this ****, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. **** it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that **** in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's ****ing FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your ****ing socks off.

    I also read a lot. I ****ing LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that ****. I read Tuesdays with Morrie the other day. It's a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. ****ing smart. Do you like movies? I ****ing love them. We can watch the **** out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don't have to talk to you at all. It's completely UP TO YOU!

    Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE **** YOU WANT? Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James ****ing Taylor. AWWWWWW **** YEA!

    A lot of people ask me, "Hey, you're from Alabama. Are you racist?" And, the answer to that question is, no. I'm not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I'm a secular humanist. I ****ING LOVE PEOPLE. That's the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. WTF?!!!? Pretty ****ing cool right?

    I own almost nothing! I'm driving my car from Alabama to California in which I'll be transporting two duffelbags of clothes, one laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a ****load of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip. Though, you can expect the jerky to be gone upon my arrival. Unless you'd like me to pick up some on my way into the city. See?! I'm the most considerate person you've ever met. I'm offering to buy you **** already!

    Am I interested in your pad? You can bet my nomadic *kitten* I am! I only require 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor to shelter me from the elements. Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'm taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I'll hook yo *kitten* up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your ****ing mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money.
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
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    That was too funny, thanks for sharing!
  • Briski1411
    Briski1411 Posts: 296 Member
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    ROFLMFAO :laugh: That was awesome thanks for the share!!
  • tobielauren
    tobielauren Posts: 184 Member
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    That gave me a headache just reading it.
    :indifferent:

    me too...and i read it in a jersey accent...is that bad?
  • JanetLM73
    JanetLM73 Posts: 1,277 Member
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    I love this one:

    Drunk Daughters BMW

    Selling my disrespectful, alcohol abusing, dwi arrested, spoiled bar bum of a daughters perfect BMW X3. The is a white X3 si, with xenon headlights, panoramic roof, all beige leather interior, all options with 105,000 miles on it. Just completed it's 100,000 maintenance 2 months ago and is in complete and perfect condition with only the driver being the malfunction. We paid $20,500 12 months ago for the vehicle. Needing to sell to pay her legal battles and to buy her a shiny pink bicycle with a horn until she gets her act and her life in order some time soon. Beautiful car with no exterior, interior, or mechanical issues. Call xxx-xxx-xxxx for information or to purchase.

    That is great!
  • kast03
    kast03 Posts: 7 Member
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    Too funny...sometimes truth is better than fiction :-D

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