Would you tell?

inked219

So on a side note to the whole "side chick" topic. If you knew a couple and you knew one of them was cheating (had been for a significant amount of time, one night fling, whichever).
Would you tell the other person in the committed relationship?
Would you talk to the one cheating to try to get them to stop?
Or would you do nothing?

I'd let the person know, but I'd bring proof. Otherwise you risk losing your friend over their disbelief.

HeidiMightyRawr

If the person doing the cheating was a friend, no I wouldn't, but I'd be having words with the friend!

If the person being cheated on was my friend, I'd probably tell them, as long as I didn't think they'd get all pissy with me about it. The way I see it, it's better to know, then they can decide what they want to do, instead of living their life and possibly getting hurt further down the line when they eventually find out.

If they were both friends, I have no clue what I'd do. Probably stay well clear of that!!

spudman3212

I would try Black Mail first.

BEERRUNNER

PLAYA RULE # 7...............ALWAYS have an alibi on call!!! :devil:

BEERRUNNER

PLAYA RULE # 9...........ALWAYS ALWAYS LOCK your phone when sleeping over!!!!!:devil:

MissAlexxMarie

If you're not affected by it and the person that is getting cheated on is not your close friend and is not asking you...don't say anything.

gumigal82

As much as I hate getting into other people's business, I would most likely say something. If the situation was turned around, I would really like someone to tell me.

This- out of respect for the person, and just in case of health issues

gumigal82

Depends. If it was a family member being cheated on, I'd be up in the grill of the person cheating. If it was a family member doing the cheating, I'd be up in their grill.
If it was a friend, I'd let it go. To me there's a difference with family and friends when it comes to relationships.

I agree with this.

See, some of my friends are (like) my family...you hurt them....well I may be short, but I'm fierce!

MinkyMoo13

Personally i wouldn't get involved.. This has happened to me and i decided to do nothing.. It's not really up to me.. and also i think she knew her bloke was cheating so i didn't want to tell her i knew as well! It is a tricky one.

MinkyMoo13

I would try Black Mail first.

I like this answer best! :laugh:

littlepinkhearts

Depends if they were a close friend or just an acquaintance. Close friend? yes I would definately tell. Acquaintance? eh no

ginaquinn2

That is a tough one. But I say no. Butt out! It will only cause heartache and a broken friendship. I think if you tell you will loose a friend.
If things do come out I think it is your job as a friend to be there to comfort as needed.

Italian_Buju

It would depend who my loyalty was with. Most times, when you are friends with a couple, it is because you were friends with one half of that couple first. So, if my loyalty was with the cheater, then no, if it is with the spouse, MAYBE.

Then it depends on if I know it will not cause grief in my friendship with said spouse.

tamheath

Do nothing, nothing, nothing!!!! Cannot express this enough!

Must totally disagree with this. In my first marriage (long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away) I had a cheater husband. The first person to finally tell me told me, but also said I couldn't mention it to him! Ha! I cannot tell you how humiliated I was that his entire company knew he was a big-time cheater, but I had no details. (Of course, I was getting the clues....)

I am still thankful someone finally told me and I could make the right decisions.

Question for you: are you still friends with the person who outed him?

Very good question! Yes we are. But she really did have my back. It's been about 20 years now. :flowerforyou:

tipyourbartender

From my experience, the people who are willing to cheat and have little regard for their own relationships, have little regard for other peoples' relationships. I find it more in women then I do men actually, and these are the same type of women who try to encourage their friends to cheat, or try to start drama in their friends' relationships - gossip, etc. With that being said, I honestly try not to associate myself with women like this, and never find myself in a situation where I would have to make the decision whether or not to tell.

Men are a little bit more forgiving in the situation because they *usually* don't try and parade around their lifestyle in that manner. I've never seen a man flaunt the fact that he was cheating. In that case, it's really none of my business to interfere with their relationship. Chances are, if he is cheating, there is most likely something wrong with the relationship anyways, and I'll expect that the relationship will either be dissolved, or work itself out without my interference.

Now, if it was like, my best friend who was getting cheated on, that would probably be a different story. Even though I don't like getting involved in these kind of situations, I would probably let them know.

Solely coming from my own experience.

christine24t

I think ideally, you should approach the person cheating and say "listen, I saw you cheating on X. She/he is my good friend and I don't like that you're hurting them this way. I'll give you a few days to tell her/him but if not I'm going to say something."

jenbk2

One of my besties has been having affairs quite a bit. Although I do not agree with it and feel bad for her spouse, I do not feel it is my place to judge or say anything. It is her life and whatever happens...happens. Karma can be nasty and those who choose to do things will have to face the consequences. She is my friend regardless and I will not rat her out or judge her for her decisions.

I could not be friends with someone like this. To me they are a disgusting person. If you want to go and sleep with someone else- be human and leave your current SO. I got rid of a friend because - well- she was a *kitten*. I always say if i was in that position would I want to know? You bet I would.

shellebelle87

What if you knew, didnt tell, your friend found out and broke up with their partner, then found out you knew all along? Wouldnt the trust be gone then anyway?

Bronx_Montgomery

It depends on what side of the friendship table you are on. Though you may know the couple you may have started out to be friends with the husband first or the Wife first.

BUT THEN AGAIN:

maab_connor

That would be extremely situational.

so very much this.

Miss_dannii

I would always have said yes I'd tell, til I got dragged into a situation with my fiances family where someone was cheating and I wanted his partner to know so much but I risked falling out with the whole family if I said a word...

On the other hand if it was a friend I'd like to think I'd tell. Imagine how hurt they'd be if they found out you knew..

jazzy43

Do nothing, nothing, nothing!!!! Cannot express this enough!

When they say "don't blame the messenger" that usually does not hold out. If the couple stayed together after you said something, then you may end up losing a friend. Face it, the one who is a cheater is not going to want you around them at all! I wouldn't...the only way that it would work out for you is if they broke up.

sjmgde

I would tell the person who is cheating, if you do not tell your SO/spouse but such in such day, iam telling them. But i would try and get prrof first before i said anything at all so that the cheating party knew i was serious and that the SO/Spouse would see i was nto lying.

pwittek10

STAY OUT OF IT!
It is not your story to tell,

nibblypig

If it was a very close friend, I would tell them what I've heard and let them make their own mind up. Otherwise, I'd mind my own business.

demery12371

PLAYA RULE # 2 ALWAYS ALWAYS pull out!!! :bigsmile:

Someone should have told my husband that one..... Maybe we wouldn't have to be sacrificing our kids $ to pay that scanky *kitten* child support!

darylinny

STAY OUT OF IT!
It is not your story to tell,

I agree...however since I'm terrible at secrets I'd probably tell the cheatee while the cheater was standing right next to them. My husband says I have not tact....it's totally intentional!

p_e_wright

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. I don't like drama so I wouldn't want to be in the middle of it. If the person being cheated on finds out that you knew and didn't say anything, you're screwed. If you do tell them, there's a chance they won't believe you and will get mad at YOU! I think it would really depend on your relationship with the one being cheated on. I think I would want someone to tell me. BUT...if asked, I would be honest about it if I knew it for a fact.

Bobby_Clerici

I was in such a situation.
My friend married down, and I warned him not to make that mistake. Later, when I found out that he was being cheated on, I just closed my eyes to it.
I actually think he knows. Anyway, that's his bed to sleep in. I am happy to BUTT OUT!
I don't have the energy for somebody else's drama.
When it comes to employees, I know of several married people in my office who are shagging.
I pretend to be totally oblivious.
There is freedom in keeping to my business and staying out of yours - even if I need to feign ignorance.
Ignorance really is bliss.

SoDamnHungry

I would probably tell if the person was clueless. If I had a feeling the person knew they were being cheated on, I'd butt out.