Double standard (not sure what to title this)

Charmed285

I have been wondering this for the longest time and when I ask both genders for an answer, no one has been able to give me an answer, so I'll ask here. why is it when guys have more than one girl, he's cool and a "player", however, when a girl does the same she's something else; the girls get the names and bad reputation but guys get away with it. And sometimes, she doesn't have to be with the guys; just friends, but she still get labeled.

I never had a bf or friends at that, so I haven't been put in this position, but this still bugs me, as well as other things, but I'll stick with just postng this.

catshark209

I dunno, and it's effing annoying. Though guys that go from woman to woman aren't exactly well liked either. But yeah women get the worst of it.
God forbid one has friends of the opposite sex too.

littlepinkhearts

Manwhore...manslut....i dunno, but i don't think they ever "got away" with it other then amongst themselves. I don't see anything flattering about them. Why? you wanna be ladywhore and not get called one. Be like them and just ignore the name-calling and get down to some dirty business and have FUN. :drinker:

Ariberri9

It's because of centuries-old societal constructs given to us by imaginary circumstance.

When it comes to the "men vs. women" debacle concerning sexuality and expression thereof, society has been influenced by multiple sources. The first one that comes to my mind is religion. Through religion, we are taught that purity is equal to women who are modest, have no partners (or one partner for life), and suppress all sexual urges. Within religion, there are certain instances where the man is not held under these strict "moral rules". In some instances, the man is deemed "more masculine" if he can successfully gain more women and have more sexual experience than most men.

There are multiple other sources for this line of thinking, but they need to stop. Sex and sexual expression are normal and should be acceptable for both men and women. Yes, one should make wise choices regarding sexual conduct; but one should not be limited by the outrageous, sexist societal constructs present today.

And consider another thing: "sl*t-shaming" is more prominent in women and in men. These words -- gender-specific terms used to describe women that are deemed "too sexually free" -- seemed to be based around women. Even if you refer to an "overly-sexual" man, you refer to him as a "man-wh0re", which seems to be a male-adapted version of the original root word "wh0re", which is a gender-specific term aimed solely at women.

Look at things extremely deeply, and realize how sexist the sexual world truly is. Granted, it's tough for both men AND women -- men face unique obstacles in the sexual world that we could never, EVER understand as women. But we women tend to face things embedded within society more often than men. From this point of view, it sees that we DO have it worse off. Then again, I have not lived my life as a male.

Charmed285

No and I don't want anyone like that and nobody should do it, but it still bugs me. it bothers me that people do, and it also bothers me that it's a double standared.

HellsKells

Because life isn't fair.

shaynak112

I still don't understand where this is coming from.
I've seen both girls and guys looked upon poorly because they were sleeping with more than one person.
And I've seen both genders get away with it.

Maybe where you are from, is very old fashioned?

Charmed285

Manwhore...manslut....i dunno, but i don't think they ever "got away" with it other then amongst themselves. I don't see anything flattering about them. Why? you wanna be ladywhore and not get called one. Be like them and just ignore the name-calling and get down to some dirty business and have FUN.

No and I don't want anyone like that and nobody should do it, but it still bugs me. it bothers me that people do, and it also bothers me that it's a double standared.

not sure how to quote to reply so I copied and pasted.

nas24

Who cares? Honestly? If you want to get with an dude, and it makes you happy, do it! As long as your not turning up on Maury, testing 5 different dudes to see who your baby daddy is, then its not anybody's business but yours. Just wrap it up

HellsKells

I don't know where daytime TV would be without the awesome "Not the Daddy" dances.

/random thought.

MooMooooo

Which has more value?

A key that can open a lot of locks?

or

A lock that can be opened by a lot of keys?

Jessaustx

Who cares? Honestly? If you want to get with an dude, and it makes you happy, do it! As long as your not turning up on Maury, testing 5 different dudes to see who your baby daddy is, then its not anybody's business but yours. Just wrap it up

wise words. wise words.

Altarian

it's always annoyed me the social double standards when it comes to this. As far as i can tell it's only really exist's in a Patriarchy, which is a vast majority of the world now. And it's especially bad in Puritan Patriarchy countries like here in the US. I personally say if you want to be with someone do it and forget what society say's is right. Government and Religion should have no say in your happiness.

victoria4321

Because girls get pregnant and guys don't. Not knowing who the father is usually isnt a good idea. Guys always want to sleep with girls to so we have more to pick from which makes it too easy to be cool.

debussyschild

Back in single days, I had my fun... But I always limited my endeavors to people that none of my friends/colleagues knew. While I honestly don't care what guys think about girls who like to hook up, I cared very much about what other students I was studying with might think, me trying to be a teacher and all. For me, keeping my sexual exploits between just me, the guy, and a few of my best girlfriends was necessary for my professional image. Not to mention, I'm sure all the students in my small class weren't getting any and might become jealous... :devil: It's effing stupid that women have to "keep it classy" while men get to flaunt their sexual exploits, but in all honesty, that is the beauty of being a woman. Get in, get off, go home, and make sure no one's the wiser. It's called being a lady in the street, but a freak in the sheets, and keeping it that way has always been goal. :bigsmile:

debussyschild

I still don't understand where this is coming from.
I've seen both girls and guys looked upon poorly because they were sleeping with more than one person.
And I've seen both genders get away with it.

Maybe where you are from, is very old fashioned?

If the OP comes from some old fashioned place, then you might as well call most public universities prude as well. Especially in the younger crowd (college aged), sex is for sport among guys and they love to ridicule girls for beating them at their own game. What a crock!

AuddAlise

I've never really cared. When I met my husband I had a few friends with benefits. I was sexually satisfied and couldn't have cared less what anyone thought.
I guess what I am trying to say is WHO CARES what anyone else thinks? Do what makes you happy.

EDesq

Come On! Don't you know why...it's as old as time. When men started making the "Rules"! HIS-STORY!
A woman WAS expected to be a "Virgin" when she married, this is supposed to mean she is chase, honest...blah, blah, blah! A man WAS expected to have "worldly" experience, including sex with women...(Frankly, I never "got it" because WHO was he sexin to get this worldly experience.

When men had ALL the "Power" they made the rules, and that was one of the rules...Mainly to guarantee Paternity, and also so a woman would NOT know how INCOMPETENT a LOT of men are in bed.

A LOT of stuff in social and cultural structures are made to ensure Patriarchy. Some Good BUT MOST BAD! If you don't like that rule, then say the hell with it and have as many men as you can handle SAFELY! UHHH cause men can DO a LOT of damage when they think they "have" a woman and she is cheating.

littlepinkhearts

No and I don't want anyone like that and nobody should do it, but it still bugs me. it bothers me that people do, and it also bothers me that it's a double standared.

karma....is all i can say...what goes around comes around and always will

jgunn81

Which has more value?

A key that can open a lot of locks?

or

A lock that can be opened by a lot of keys?

Haha, I've heard this quote before, effin hilarious...

But really, the "classical double standard" does not hold true anyomre...it's been proven

lolarit

It's because of centuries-old societal constructs given to us by imaginary circumstance.

When it comes to the "men vs. women" debacle concerning sexuality and expression thereof, society has been influenced by multiple sources. The first one that comes to my mind is religion. Through religion, we are taught that purity is equal to women who are modest, have no partners (or one partner for life), and suppress all sexual urges. Within religion, there are certain instances where the man is not held under these strict "moral rules". In some instances, the man is deemed "more masculine" if he can successfully gain more women and have more sexual experience than most men.

There are multiple other sources for this line of thinking, but they need to stop. Sex and sexual expression are normal and should be acceptable for both men and women. Yes, one should make wise choices regarding sexual conduct; but one should not be limited by the outrageous, sexist societal constructs present today.

And consider another thing: "sl*t-shaming" is more prominent in women and in men. These words -- gender-specific terms used to describe women that are deemed "too sexually free" -- seemed to be based around women. Even if you refer to an "overly-sexual" man, you refer to him as a "man-wh0re", which seems to be a male-adapted version of the original root word "wh0re", which is a gender-specific term aimed solely at women.

Look at things extremely deeply, and realize how sexist the sexual world truly is. Granted, it's tough for both men AND women -- men face unique obstacles in the sexual world that we could never, EVER understand as women. But we women tend to face things embedded within society more often than men. From this point of view, it sees that we DO have it worse off. Then again, I have not lived my life as a male.

You hit the nail on the head. Boils down to social constructionism, how and why these ideas of 'truth' fester in our societies - in my opinion. Unfortunately the double standard still exists...

rextcat

:flowerforyou: um we used to be property, and realy it depends on your socal cercle, oh and men suck, yeah that to

mes1119

In my PERSONAL opinion, ANYONE that sleeps around gets a negative connotation. Male and female.

xHelloQuincyx

maybe just be yourself then.. why do you have to be anything?

i say as long as everyone is informed, and you upfront about what your doing, they you cant feel bad about it. you dont feel bad about it, then being called a skeezie word or rep wouldnt phase anything.

example, tell the person your not into anything serious and you are going to see other people. they are cool with that, then they arnt for you. you have a few different dates with other people and someone calls you a sl*t. i wouldnt feel like one, so i wouldnt feel bad about it. id prolly explain to the person that im not looking for a monogamous relationship and that the other people involved werent either.

and in my mind, no guy with a buncha girls *cheating* is a player. hes just someone i would never assosiate myself with in the slightest. but thats ME anyone else could do what ever they want, and that would be their choice. tell you the truth, when i see someone like that highfivin another man for his newest score. all i think is

stds. stds. stds. karmmmas suckss mann.

Bobby_Clerici

ANSWER: It's an unfair gender double standard. Guys are studs, and girls are sluts.
Pure absurdity.
It's all the same in my book.
But most societies view it through the eyes of gender bias. Welcome to the human race.:blushing:

chatnel

What's wrong with sleeping around? if you single and protected, who cares?

people that label are just jealous they are not getting any

AllTehBeers

For me, I don't care who smashes who. Just know I'm not going to sleep with them unless they wrap it up.

MattTheWaterRat

Both genders do not get away with multiple partners, because VD doesn't discriminate.

Nataliaho

Which has more value?

A key that can open a lot of locks?

or

A lock that can be opened by a lot of keys?

hmmmmmm, for me the second. What happens if you lose that one key? does your lock stay closed forever?

onedayillbeamilf

You're hanging out with the wrong friends. Most of my friends don't support adultery or "playin", and the very few who do are equal opportunity supporters.

saragato

I've always assumed it's because mankind has a history of men having wives and concubines or many wives and it was, then, socially acceptable. The jazzed up ideal of a harem still sets some men to drooling, yet if a woman wants a male harem it's weird, though they have been done before.

I know in a lot of the urban societies (I'm talking the ghetto scene, race excluded entirely) having a lot of women or getting a lot of them pregnant with your child is a way to say you're a man, you're not a child or someone to be looked down upon. You have the base power of attraction and procreation. It doesn't work that way with women.

And, one could argue the belief that human kind is not meant to be attached to one mate, that such things were created by an evolving society and religion.

My thoughts are, if you've not committed yourself, verbally or otherwise, to one person and you are with others at the same time regardless of them knowing then that's your business. That drama comes from the personal beliefs of the ones you're seeing/sleeping with. If you're committed, then unless your partner agrees to an open relationship you've basically put yourself in a box. You have one person for love, for sex, for friendship, and whatever else you're looking for. There's no "oh he's manly and virile because he's got 4 girls" and no "oh my god she's seeing how many men? Tramp!"

Long story short gender equality has not reached the points society and textbooks believe it has. We're still struggling to keep our right to wear pants too instead of just dresses and the right to hold our own jobs and not be babymakers and note takers. It's stupid but, well, when has anyone counted humanity as smart?