Wall of text - beware -

duhblond

I'm really not comfortable making this thread but I figure I'll try this and set my pride aside...
I've been steady about working out for several years in my attempt to get to my before kids weight.
In the past I have talked to my primary who recommended Jenny Craig, I was with them a year and they brought in nutritionists for me, because no matter what they tried and how hard I worked at it I could not shed any weight.
So j.c. staff and my primary said that until my stress levels are down and I stop skipping sleep I will not lose the weight... I choose not to believe that and so here i am still try and still not seeing results.
I work out 7 days a week for a workout length of anywhere from 45min to 120min - I alternate my workouts with everything from pilates, yoga, weight lifting, cardio, belly dancing, core training, biking, aerobics... well you get the idea...
I'm currently eating 1500 calories a day, over the last 5 years I have been put on as low as 800 and as much as 2800.
No results really.
I monitor via the scale, measurements and pictures so I know I'm not missing some hidden change.
A personal trainer is not an option as I am a SAHM and am the sole caretaker for my special need son.
On the occasion I do sometimes eat things I shouldn't but I try and fit them into my calorie intake amounts....
I'm at a loss of what to try now - but I refuse to give up and I would appreciate any input....
I know my wl ticker shows a loss but I do not think that sw was accurate as I've never been that weight before...
so as for the embarrassing part now...
ummmm here we go
cw - 199
gw - 150 or just a pant size and body I feel comfortable in as I know the scale can be misleading...
I'm 5'9 and 3/4 inch ... as my goal was to be 6' and I fell short I claim that 3/4 inch :P
I know this is a huge wall of text but I would appreciate any useful input....
Thank you!

slowturtle1

So j.c. staff and my primary said that until my stress levels are down and I stop skipping sleep I will not lose the weight... I choose not to believe that and so here i am still try and still not seeing results.

Just curious--sounds like you've tried everything except what your doctor and JC recommended. Why so resistant to their advice/assessment?

korsicash

I rarely agree with things like jc, BUT with that said much research has gone into the stress and sleep thing. These are two things that makes our bodies just cling to weight. I would say stick to a calorie deficit. Watch your sodium, drink a TON of water! Also I am a SAHM most the time and part time temp at a friends store to get out of the house. I do work out videos at home while my kid naps. I need them. It is the one thing I do during the course of my day that only benefits me. So I look at it as my mommy time. I take an hour or so sometimes more and exercise. I enjoy it and it helps cut down on those stress hormones. Good luck.

PS Like JC I fully agree and you need to look at your stress level and you need to sleep.

krisntraining

I know how frustrating it can be... the only thing I can see from looking a few days in your diary is your sugar is really high. I know everyone is different but I can't lose anything if I have too much sugar. Luckily, I don't have much of a sweet tooth but I do love the occaisional coke (I know, BAD!) but I stay under 25 grams a day almost every day. Just a thought... good luck to you.

Pimpmonkey

I hate to say it but the JC staf and your Dr could have a little bit of the right idea. Stress causes our bodies to process things in a different manner. I know getting rid of your stress in not possible, but taking a few minutes to yourself every couple of hours to just breathe and relax can go along way to easing your bodies tensions and help you lower your stress levels which will help you in the long run. Not sleeping properly, while sadly a necessity for some of us, does contribute to inhibition of weight loss.

There's a book called Bottom Line's SuperFoods RX that should really help. You could probably find it online pretty cheap, I got mine at a flea market for like 2 bucks. It really opened my eyes as to some of the problems I was causing myself and how I was compounding those caused by outside influences.

I hope this helps, and don't give up, you'll get there.

duhblond

Just curious--sounds like you've tried everything except what your doctor and JC recommended. Why so resistant to their advice/assessment?

Not that I'm resistant, it just is not an option, I have severely handicapped child and one of the situations that occurs with his medical conditions is an inability to sleep so he will go 50+ hours or so without sleep - and as he is self harming, I have no choice other than to stay up with him.... and that happens a few times a month.
My only "choice" would be to institutionalize him, and I do not consider that a choice at all...

Nataliaho

I have been doing a fair bit of reading about the stress/sleep thing too and I am conviced that its an important weightloss factor to consider. I never get enough sleep, but I have very recently decided to institute a curfew for myself to try and change that. I agree with others though, why aren't you willing to try the sleep thing?

duhblond

Thank you for the replies....

I do try and destress my finding some me time but typically that is limited to my workout time....

I eat alot of fruit so I can try cutting that down again
I go a month or two without soda or and than drink it for a week so I'll try and cut that out completely again...

I will also look into the recommended book - hopefully I can get it on my kindle...

sherrirb

Just curious--sounds like you've tried everything except what your doctor and JC recommended. Why so resistant to their advice/assessment?

Not that I'm resistant, it just is not an option, I have severely handicapped child and one of the situations that occurs with his medical conditions is an inability to sleep so he will go 50+ hours or so without sleep - and as he is self harming, I have no choice other than to stay up with him.... and that happens a few times a month.
My only "choice" would be to institutionalize him, and I do not consider that a choice at all...

Have you looked into respite care to help with this?

korsicash

Talk to your child's DR about melatonin for him. It is a naturally occurring brain process and hormone we all have. Some people with disabilities have a harder time with creating this hormone. It is naturally found in the darker color cherries and a few other foods. I have a friend with severely handicapped children who would do the same thing. Her DR prescribed the kids a dose of RX strength melatonin and it has made a huge difference in her life. I am not suggesting you drug your kid at night to get him to sleep that is not what the melatonin does. They give the supplement and then do night time routine. As it is a hormone some nights it works some nights it does not. But huge help in her life.

duhblond

Have you looked into respite care to help with this?

I do have respite - I get help one day a week. I usually use that time to spend with my daughter so she gets my 100% undivided attention. As that is not usually possible during the rest of the week.
Otherwise I usually try to schedule doctor appointments on that day so I have help as it is difficult to make those visits without any assistance.

duhblond

Talk to your child's DR about melatonin for him. It is a naturally occurring brain process and hormone we all have. Some people with disabilities have a harder time with creating this hormone. It is naturally found in the darker color cherries and a few other foods. I have a friend with severely handicapped children who would do the same thing. Her DR prescribed the kids a dose of RX strength melatonin and it has made a huge difference in her life. I am not suggesting you drug your kid at night to get him to sleep that is not what the melatonin does. They give the supplement and then do night time routine. As it is a hormone some nights it works some nights it does not. But huge help in her life.

I have just recently started giving my son melatonin - we are about 45 days into it dosing as the doctor has prescribed... no noticeable change yet, but she said with how many hormone issues he has it might not work. But we are hoping and keeping all things crossed.


Thank you all for the continued suggestions...!

Nataliaho

OP, so sorry I didn't see the post about your child, my apologies I can totally understand now why you are not getting enough sleep

Maybe the added stress of trying to lose the extra weight is not helping. Try to enjoy your workouts for their own sake, use health, fitness and performance markers to measure your success rather than the scales. You should be proud that despite having a tough situation to deal with you are making good choices for your health!

megleo818

Just curious--sounds like you've tried everything except what your doctor and JC recommended. Why so resistant to their advice/assessment?

Not that I'm resistant, it just is not an option, I have severely handicapped child and one of the situations that occurs with his medical conditions is an inability to sleep so he will go 50+ hours or so without sleep - and as he is self harming, I have no choice other than to stay up with him.... and that happens a few times a month.
My only "choice" would be to institutionalize him, and I do not consider that a choice at all...

Okay, I can't believe I'm even starting this reply, but here goes.

I recently put my father (severe Alzheimer's) into a memory care facility. It was the hardest decision I ever made and I agonized over it for YEARS. Finally I really "heard" the adage that it's always harder for the care-giver than the cared-for to accept that "institutionalized" care can actually be better for the PATIENT, never mind how it affects the the care-giver. Placing my dad in a facility was, flat out, the best decision I have ever made. He is happy, loved and beautifully well cared for. And I get to sleep at night.

I am NOT saying that your son is anything like my father. I'm not saying that an institution is the best place for your boy. But I am saying that you owe to yourself AND TO YOUR SON to carefully consider whether an unhappy, unhealthy, stressed, sleep-deprived mother is the best care-giver for him.

Of course I'm sure you're mostly NOT that way, but still. It's worth looking at and thinking about. Just because you love him more than anyone else ever could, doesn't mean that others couldn't care for him equally well, while allowing you to care for yourself and be all the more "there" for him when it really matters.

Again, I am surprised at myself for posting this. Please accept it with the love it was sent with, and toss it away if it is inappropriate to your situation. I wish you all the best and applaud the incredibly brave choices you've made for your precious son.

susannamarie

Quite honestly, OP --

I would focus on eating a generally healthy diet which gave a reasonable amount of calories so you can keep up the energy to deal with your child and some treat food. I would try to get some exercise in for health's sake rather than for trying to lose weight. And I would throw away the scale.

Stressing about losing weight is just ONE MORE THING to stress about.

duhblond

OP, so sorry I didn't see the post about your child, my apologies I can totally understand now why you are not getting enough sleep

Maybe the added stress of trying to lose the extra weight is not helping. Try to enjoy your workouts for their own sake, use health, fitness and performance markers to measure your success rather than the scales. You should be proud that despite having a tough situation to deal with you are making good choices for your health!

No need to be sorry - I'm a private person so I probably am not expressing myself well lol
I'm not an unhappy person - and I know that at least even if I'm not getting the cosmetic response I desire that I'm a better person for doing the workout - emotionally and physically I need them
I appreciate the ideas and I'm just hoping to find something I've missed - but I'm not going to give up - I just was hoping someone might have some input for me

duhblond

Okay, I can't believe I'm even starting this reply, but here goes.

I recently put my father (severe Alzheimer's) into a memory care facility. It was the hardest decision I ever made and I agonized over it for YEARS. Finally I really "heard" the adage that it's always harder for the care-giver than the cared-for to accept that "institutionalized" care can actually be better for the PATIENT, never mind how it affects the the care-giver. Placing my dad in a facility was, flat out, the best decision I have ever made. He is happy, loved and beautifully well cared for. And I get to sleep at night.

I am NOT saying that your son is anything like my father. I'm not saying that an institution is the best place for your boy. But I am saying that you owe to yourself AND TO YOUR SON to carefully consider whether an unhappy, unhealthy, stressed, sleep-deprived mother is the best care-giver for him.

Of course I'm sure you're mostly NOT that way, but still. It's worth looking at and thinking about. Just because you love him more than anyone else ever could, doesn't mean that others couldn't care for him equally well, while allowing you to care for yourself and be all the more "there" for him when it really matters.

Again, I am surprised at myself for posting this. Please accept it with the love it was sent with, and toss it away if it is inappropriate to your situation. I wish you all the best and applaud the incredibly brave choices you've made for your precious son.

thank you for opening up - I'm sure that was a very difficult decision to make (massive understatement) and I applaud you for making a choice that you felt would better benefit your loved one.
My son is only 8 years old and if he was to go into a home that would not be best for him as he has a compromised immune.
What the future holds I do not know but for now I will do my best to care for him in the home.
He has a slew of teachers and therapist that I work with to help him expand his world and for now that is the route I'm going to take.
I do get stressed but all things considered I can deal with that and I'm thankful that I am physically and emotionally able to be there for him.
Thank you for writing what I'm sure was very difficult for you - and I do take it in the kind way it was meant

Quite honestly, OP --

I would focus on eating a generally healthy diet which gave a reasonable amount of calories so you can keep up the energy to deal with your child and some treat food. I would try to get some exercise in for health's sake rather than for trying to lose weight. And I would throw away the scale.

Stressing about losing weight is just ONE MORE THING to stress about.

I take my measure, scale and picture only 1x a month so I'm not really obsessed about it - I think like most people who are uncomfortable with a weight gain, as much as I would like to just not be bothered by my cw that is not really that easy to get over lol
I enjoy my workouts as it is my centering time I guess I'm just greedy and wish there was more physical results lol
I agree though that it is just one more thing to stress about - Thank you for your input

hoosier_red

If you're eating right and exercising, it probably *is* the stress and lack of sleep that's stopping your weight loss. Unfortunately, that's one part of your life that isn't going away any time soon (my sister has an autistic 24-year old son and autistic 15-year-old daughter -- my niece has a fairly severe sleep disorder, so I know from Sis's stories how exhausting it is to be a caretaker in that situation. You have my utmost admiration for taking such good care of your son).

When you said your doctor prescribed melatonin for your son, do you mean it's at Rx strength or he told you to get some from the drugstore? I ask because your son may need a higher dosage, depending on how much he's taking right now -- some people konk right out on 3mg, but others need as much as 10mg or more. With a disabled child, there may be hormonal imbalances going on that require an even higher dosage. I'd suggest checking with your doctor again and seeing if this is 1) possible and 2) medically recommended.

I wish you the absolute best of luck with all of this.

duhblond

If you're eating right and exercising, it probably *is* the stress and lack of sleep that's stopping your weight loss. Unfortunately, that's one part of your life that isn't going away any time soon (my sister has an autistic 24-year old son and autistic 15-year-old daughter -- my niece has a fairly severe sleep disorder, so I know from Sis's stories how exhausting it is to be a caretaker in that situation. You have my utmost admiration for taking such good care of your son).

When you said your doctor prescribed melatonin for your son, do you mean it's at Rx strength or he told you to get some from the drugstore? I ask because your son may need a higher dosage, depending on how much he's taking right now -- some people konk right out on 3mg, but others need as much as 10mg or more. With a disabled child, there may be hormonal imbalances going on that require an even higher dosage. I'd suggest checking with your doctor again and seeing if this is 1) possible and 2) medically recommended.

I wish you the absolute best of luck with all of this.

Thank you for your reply and your kind words.
As for the melatonin I chose to use a health store brand that I got her approval for. Melatonin is not meant to be used for long term and it is not fda approved in regards to children, so at this point I've been uncomfortable with putting him on a higher dose as I feel he has enough against him in life not to add a strong dose of something that there is not alot of information on - I'm sure I'm being silly but... well that is just me I guess.

Thank you again

Pimpmonkey

Thank you for the replies....

I do try and destress my finding some me time but typically that is limited to my workout time....

I eat alot of fruit so I can try cutting that down again
I go a month or two without soda or and than drink it for a week so I'll try and cut that out completely again...

I will also look into the recommended book - hopefully I can get it on my kindle...

I checked and it is not available for Kindle but is listed on Amazon.

Pebble321

I agree with a few of the previous posters - it sounds like you have an incredibly busy schedule looking after your son.
If it was me, I think I would just accept that at this point, focussing on weight loss might not be a high priority.

Cooking and eating healthy food (for everyone in the family) and doing some regular exercise is going to be good for your general health and your mental health even if you don't see the scales changing. It will be a valuable lesson for your kids too, that they need to look after their bodies, especially for your daughter. This might be a better goal to set yourself at this point, than a particular number on the scale.

Is there any kind of exercise (walking, playing in the park or the garden) that you can do with your kids? I know that probably depends on your son, but if you can it might be great for all of you.

Or is there any kind of activity that he can do (therapeutic exercise class maybe?) that will give you an hour or so to go for a walk or to sit and have a coffee (or catnap!). I know it's easy for me to say, but you have to look after yourself to be able to look after your kids.

Good luck!

duhblond

I checked and it is not available for Kindle but is listed on Amazon.

I bookmarked the page Thank you for the reading suggestion and looking into it for me I will check it out soon as possible

I agree with a few of the previous posters - it sounds like you have an incredibly busy schedule looking after your son.
If it was me, I think I would just accept that at this point, focussing on weight loss might not be a high priority.

Cooking and eating healthy food (for everyone in the family) and doing some regular exercise is going to be good for your general health and your mental health even if you don't see the scales changing. It will be a valuable lesson for your kids too, that they need to look after their bodies, especially for your daughter. This might be a better goal to set yourself at this point, than a particular number on the scale.

Is there any kind of exercise (walking, playing in the park or the garden) that you can do with your kids? I know that probably depends on your son, but if you can it might be great for all of you.

Or is there any kind of activity that he can do (therapeutic exercise class maybe?) that will give you an hour or so to go for a walk or to sit and have a coffee (or catnap!). I know it's easy for me to say, but you have to look after yourself to be able to look after your kids.

Good luck!

I do cook healthy and as much as possible try and incorporate the family in fun energy burning games and such - I do not log them as exercise as they are just a part of life lol My son is not able to be involved in most of these activities so I'm usually just carrying him on my hip or back, but I try and have my daughter help me garden, I chase after her when she goes bike riding, run around with her at the park, play wii games that require movement, go swimming and walk all over amusement parks so I'm confident that as much as I can, I keep my family active
I'm sure there is always more I could do, but I'm trying not to overextend myself

As for my son with the compromised immune his therapy all takes place in my home so I'm usually involved in those sessions.

My workout time in around his schedule but I do make sure to get that in on a daily basis - and free time if he is in my lap or playing in the bath is usually found on the computer or reading

Thank you your suggestions are appreciated

kateblue72

Wow, you are a woman to admire! Perhaps you should consider giving yourself a 'break' on the weight. Focus on the exercise 'just' to be healthy Keep up with lots of water, and if you want, perhaps consider Low GI - keeping suger levels to a minimum as it also tends ot even out your cravings, and energizes you through the day. Take care and good luck:flowerforyou:

duhblond

Wow, you are a woman to admire! Perhaps you should consider giving yourself a 'break' on the weight. Focus on the exercise 'just' to be healthy Keep up with lots of water, and if you want, perhaps consider Low GI - keeping suger levels to a minimum as it also tends ot even out your cravings, and energizes you through the day. Take care and good luck:flowerforyou:

You are very kind, thank you.
I hate to sound ignorant but does GL stand for glucose?
I will for sure try and lower my sugar intake.
Thank you for the input

sammielealea

Like all other posters, I truly admire how strong of a woman you are. Just a suggestion for yourself . . . Not sure how you feel about supplementing yourself with any additional vitamins, but I take B100 complex. "Recommended use: helps reduce stress levels, helps the body to metabolize proteins, fat and carbohydrates, contributing to enhanced energy production." I find it aids in my energy levels quite a bit, and I'm sure there are many other health benefits. Perhaps it's worth speaking to your Dr about adding this, or any other vitamin supplements?
Best wishes to you and your family.

duhblond

Like all other posters, I truly admire how strong of a woman you are. Just a suggestion for yourself . . . Not sure how you feel about supplementing yourself with any additional vitamins, but I take B100 complex. "Recommended use: helps reduce stress levels, helps the body to metabolize proteins, fat and carbohydrates, contributing to enhanced energy production." I find it aids in my energy levels quite a bit, and I'm sure there are many other health benefits. Perhaps it's worth speaking to your Dr about adding this, or any other vitamin supplements?
Best wishes to you and your family.

Thank you very much for your kindness.
I'm not against taking vitamins (currently I'm only taking a multi vitamin) so I will be sure to talk to my primary about adding something like that. Thank you for the suggestion, Much appreciated

duhblond

bump

wackyfunster

Have you had your thyroid hormone levels checked? I wouldn't be surprised if between the sleep deprivation, stress, and loads of cardio it sounds like you have done, your T3 levels are low.

My advice: ditch the cardio for now. Do 3 days/week heavy resistance training, around 1 hr/day. Take a day off after each training day. Caloric intake looks fine, but protein should be 1g/pound lean body mass, or 1.5g if you are doing resistance training. Drink lots of low/no-cal fluids. Look into intermittent fasting... I personally am a huge fan, and have had people who have not seen results with anything else get great results with it... might be good with your lifestyle as well. Not having to eat for 16 hrs/day frees up a lot of time. There is a group here with a lot more info on that topic. Make sure you're taking a multivitamin, and getting enough vitamin D (2000IU/day is a good dose... make sure you get AT LEAST the RDA, which is 600).

One thing to be conscious of, because stress/sleep deprivation, even when you DO start losing body fat, it is likely to be obfuscated for periods of time (weeks maybe) due to water retention. That is normal when on a caloric deficit, and sleep dep and stress both exacerbate the problem. Sounds like you can still have a decent idea of progress, as you are using multiple ways of tracking your weight loss, which is awesome.

I hope that this is helpful to you. Sounds like you have the drive, and just need to find a regimen that works for you! You can do it!

duhblond

Have you had your thyroid hormone levels checked? I wouldn't be surprised if between the sleep deprivation, stress, and loads of cardio it sounds like you have done, your T3 levels are low.

My advice: ditch the cardio for now. Do 3 days/week heavy resistance training, around 1 hr/day. Take a day off after each training day. Caloric intake looks fine, but protein should be 1g/pound lean body mass, or 1.5g if you are doing resistance training. Drink lots of low/no-cal fluids. Look into intermittent fasting... I personally am a huge fan, and have had people who have not seen results with anything else get great results with it... might be good with your lifestyle as well. Not having to eat for 16 hrs/day frees up a lot of time. There is a group here with a lot more info on that topic. Make sure you're taking a multivitamin, and getting enough vitamin D (2000IU/day is a good dose... make sure you get AT LEAST the RDA, which is 600).

One thing to be conscious of, because stress/sleep deprivation, even when you DO start losing body fat, it is likely to be obfuscated for periods of time (weeks maybe) due to water retention. That is normal when on a caloric deficit, and sleep dep and stress both exacerbate the problem. Sounds like you can still have a decent idea of progress, as you are using multiple ways of tracking your weight loss, which is awesome.

I hope that this is helpful to you. Sounds like you have the drive, and just need to find a regimen that works for you! You can do it!

Thank you for responding.
I get a yearly physical just to be aware of my health - my thyroid levels are perfect - Internally I'm in great shape lol
I will look into the ideas you have recommended. Some of them I have tried others are new to me.
Thank you for your encouragement and for taking the time to reply

JoniRiaya

I don't have any other great ideas than those already given but I have to tell you that you have inspired me today. You are an amazing and courageous woman and your family is so blessed to have you. I pray that you will find something that works and you are able to reach a weight you are comfortable with. I wish you all the best.

duhblond

I don't have any other great ideas than those already given but I have to tell you that you have inspired me today. You are an amazing and courageous woman and your family is so blessed to have you. I pray that you will find something that works and you are able to reach a weight you are comfortable with. I wish you all the best.

Thank you....So very much